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Hello everyone, I'm a first time plus size preggo due July 26, 2007. My husband and I have been together 4 years and this is our first baby together. It wasn't planned at all, in fact we hadn't even decided on children or not as we had only been engaged 2 days when we found out the news. He proposed on Thanksgiving, and I hadn't really missed a period, it wasn't unusual for me to be up to 10 days late. When it still hadn't come, for shits and giggles I had an expired pregnancy test underneath my bathroom sink. I took it one morning before work and didn't think nothing of it when it turned out positive - I chalked it up to being defective at 6 months expired. Jon called me later at work and said ummmmmm what is this on your bathroom sink? (He had no idea, he just knew my period should be coming anyday) I said aww don't worry about it, it was expired, but I'll go to Wal-Mart after work and pick up a new one to make sure. Mmmmmm yea I picked up a 2 pack and took a new one that night.......it didn't even give me the luxury of the 3 minute wait - immediately popped up positive. I went into the living room and for the next 15 minutes I went back and forth to the bathroom to keep checking as if the results had changed. Finally Jon said well what does it say? I said I don't know. He said what do you mean? I said well it says its positive but I have a 3rd one I can take in the morning! He laughed and said do you think it will make a difference in the morning? We were both in such shock and denial that I don't think we really spoke about it for 2 weeks until my Dr. was able to confirm it. After all we had only been engaged 2 days and both come from religous familes where pregnancy out of wedlock is frowned upon (I'm 26, he's 30). So we eventually decided to cut our engagement short and move up the plans of our wedding to March 17, 2007. I refused to skimp on anything just because I was a pregnant bride, (something to which my mother was an emotional wreck all up to and including our wedding day w/ full sobbing and shame because of her 5 month pregnant daughter walking down the aisle on her wedding day), but regardless of others, It was charming, romantic and beautiful just as it should be for a bride! I refused to be ashamed as regardless of our relationship status, this baby was made from pure love between Jon and I - that much there is no denying.

We found out that we are having a baby boy to be named Clayton Mark after my husband and his grandfather. My main goal through my pregnancy was to keep a healthy weight gain. As of today May 16th at 29 weeks along I've only gained 9lbs which is awesome for me. The bad side is, since I'm plus size and wear cute Maternity clothes, I'm sure people can't tell if I have a fat stomach or if I'm pregnant. Even my mom told me last week, you couldn't really tell I was preggo......aww thats sad.....a plus size pregnancy has had its ups though - I'm not freaking out like a skinny girl would at getting big cuz I already am - I know how to carry weight so it hasn't been that hard. I'm not getting any stretch marks cuz I've already had them years ago!

Pregnancy has been wonderful to me, and I say that in spite of being uncomfortable most of the time and the awesome tradegies that go with it like hemoroids and backaches. Sometimes I get up and feel like I can barely walk because of pregnancy sciatica. For the most part I don't even feel pregnant and have felt like myself the whole time. I told my hubby that I'm not worried about the labor/delivery - its the hemoroids afterwards because I already have them bad just from a few minutes - now think of hours of pushing how they will be then! Aaaahhh! Sorry if thats TMI, but I'm not really sure what to write here except about my pregnancy. I really haven't had "cravings" per say, just everything I normally enjoy is enhanced. My favorite sweets is anything with Peanut Butter and Chocolate - Hershey's just came out with a new candy bar that is Hershey Chocolate with Resses's PB stuck inside the squares.......its simply to die for. Its one of those giant bars for like $1.64 - I found mine in the gourmet chocolate bars at Wal-Mart last night for the first time. I ate the whole thing before I went to bed.......bad idea......I was up most of the night sick with indigestion. Can't say I wouldn't do it again though, LOL.

Its sad that I'm just now learning about this VIP page when I'm in my 3rd trimester. I'll see what else I can come up with, till then, TOODLES!

May 7, 2007 - What a relief! I just found out my 3 hour glucose test all came back normal. What a scare it gave me when I failed my 1 hour test. Now I don't have to give up all the good stuff. I was so worried that how cruel it would be to have to give up sweets during pregnancy, not that I live off of them or anything, but nothing can beat a sweet craving like PB & chocolate!

May 13th, 2007 - Man oh man am I on an emotional roller coaster. I've been crying most of the day - just thinking about life and love and how short our time here really is. I hope Jon and I make it, not that we're having problems, just sometimes I feel a distance between us and I worry that he's becoming not interested in me. He told me yesterday he was having a big craving to hit a karoke bar (pre-us being together, thats what he used to do before meeting me, getting drunk at karoke bars) and I notice him hanging out with the neighbor friend drinking beer more than usual. I'm willing to let it go for now as I'm hoping its a last ditch effort to get this out of his system as the due date approaches. He's never mentioned wanting to go to a karoke bar before and he's never drank beer frequently in the 4 years we've been together, so I'm trying not to freak out at him just yet over it, although I'm not really liking it either.

This old hag bitch at work is still driving me nuts and its even worse this week because our 3rd partner (I'm a 911 dispatcher) is gone this week so its just me and the old lady (She's 63, been here 25 years, crotchety, bitchy, annoying, set in her old ways, won't listen to anyone with a different perspective, has trouble keeping up with the new technology, sets double standards, can't retire because she can't afford to lose her bi-annual cruises and other crap she wastes her money on, and doesn't want to be here anymore so she makes our lives a living hell). She's been trying to talk to me all damn day and personally I really don't like her, but I do respect her for doing this job for so long. She's constantly condescending towards me, telling me I don't need sugar in my tea, its not good for me or the baby, blah blah blah - but yet if I mention anything about going to grab lunch somewhere its always "oh I'd like you to get me deep fried enchiladas with extra cheese and sour cream" and she usually jips me on the money. Last week when she ordered an entree of those enchildas ( I went takeout from a nice Mexican restuarant) She also ordered queso dip, chips & salsa, with a drink - then had the nerve to hand me a $5 bill. I just looked at it, back to her, back to the bill and laughed - I thought she was joking!! Then she goes what? I said that's not going to be enough. She looked at me like I was crazy, I stood my ground. I said I know its $4 for your queso dip alone, let alone the entree of enchildas, extra cheese, side of sour cream and a drink. She said "oh well I didn't add it up" I said well I didn't either but I know it will be more than $5.........so she hands me another $3 for a total of $8......I just laughed again and walked off, thinking I'll just have to show her the receipt when I get back. Sure as shit - her order was $16. I came back and let her know, which she did me pay for the rest, but bitched about the meal from then on out. This I have to deal with 3 days a week, trapped in a basement with her for 12 straight hours!

I had my Dr's apt. Thursday - he let me know I run the risk of a c-section due to a big baby since I failed my first glucose test and my second 3 hour test had one level abnormal. I let him know I wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs.

May 14th, 2007 - Gosh dang! My hips are killing me! I'm walking all wide and waddling cuz my hips are hurting me so bad! I'm starting to feel my son be more active and not really digging it. You know when your at the top of a roller coaster and your stomach drops on the way down? Thats exactly how it feels over and over and over whenever he's busting a move in there. It doesn't happen too often, but I'm noticing it lasting longer and longer when he's doing it. He must be doing somersaults in there. Jon really hurt my feelings......he didn't even tell me happy mothers day or acknowledge it at all last night when I got home from work and he didn't get in till late cuz he was out back fishing in our lake till dark - what a jerk! I've been sooo tired lately, I don't even remember the last time I've been so tired and I have a long week at work too.......I got a case of da Mondays......

May 14th, 2007 - I just found out horrible news! I'm being sued!!!!!!!!!! 2 years ago I had to go to the emergency room. I have insurance through my work, it paid for most of it, but still there was quite a chunk left for me to pay. We are of modest means and couldn't afford the rest of the bill. I applied for financial assistance with the hospital and had to provide a lengthy financial report of pay stubs and tax forms to get approved. I was 100% approved by the hospital. I didn't know there was a separate Dr.s fee - now the Dr. is suing me for $280 plus all lawyer & court costs!! I just found out this morning when someone from the courthouse contacted me at work for my current address because they were trying to serve me papers and weren't able to locate me........stupid me gave her my address......should I have done that? I tried to contact the lawyer in charge for the Dr. to find out exactly what's going on - no return call - imagine that. My court date is May 29th.......I don't have money for this debt now, nor do I have money to hire an attorney.......what the hell am I supposed to do???? If they garnish our wages then I won't be able to make the house or car payment and would risk losing both. I don't have anyone to borrow that kind of money from nor can I afford a loan. I've been so upset and non-stop crying, I know its not good for the baby, but I can't stop........I don't know what to do. Anybody know of any helpful advice?

May 15th, 2007 - Well its not as bad as I thought. I contacted a debt relief lawyer just to get some information on whats going since I can't get the Dr's lawyer to call me back after 3 messages. She said it would be more expensive to hire an attorney than to just pay the debt. I didn't have to have the money right there at the court date, that all that would happen is the judge would find that the debt was true and he'd assign some payment arrangement, or if I could contact the Dr's lawyer before the court date and work something out would be even better, however I've left 3 messages with no return call from the Dr.'s Lawyer. I would prefer to work it out beforehand and not go to court. I still have yet to be served w/ papers officially - but its all legit because I contacted the courthouse and they have it all on file. I don't know why the Dr's lawyer won't call me back?

May 16th, 2007 - Update, I finally got ahold of the Dr's lawyer today when I called to leave a 4th message. She said I have to pay them $300 before the court date May 29th IN FULL or else it goes to court. I asked if I could make payment arrangements and they said NO!!!! My friend is going to loan me $100 and I can come up with $100 - so now I need another $100 QUICK! I don't know where since neither of us get paid until after the court date and I can't think of anything to sell quickly in 13 days that would generate $100....I'm so upset they won't accept any payment arrangements!!!!!!! I informed her that this was the first I had ever heard about this, she was really rude saying they had sent several notices (at my old address). I informed her I hadn't lived there in over a year!!!!! She said they never received anything returned, so obviously whoever moved in after us has just been keeping our mail or tossing it.............this whole thing is just pure BULLSHIT! So now I have to put off some other bills to take care of this one which is going to put me behind, and somehwere along the line I have to find another $100 and pay back the $100 to my friend who is generously loaning me the money.....THIS FUCKING SUCKS! We still need numerous items for the baby too and I'm due soon...........WHY NOW?

May 21st, 2007 - Oh Clayton please come healthy in July, I'm so exhausted I want to hibernate. Let me pull the covers over my head and stick a catheter in me, I'm doneeeeeeeee. Hmmmm scheduled c-section.......I was dead set against it, but now the thought is slightly appealing.....but no the longer he stays in the better. Oh hell I'm so hormonal today................just make it all go away.

May 27th, 2007 - I had a really sweet dream about my baby boy the other night......except that I had to have a c-section.But in my dream I just had the incision and no pain.Then the first night we were home I was so exhausted that when I woke up I realized I had slept through the whole night and Clayton didn't wake me up for a feeding......I was so scared he had died in the night and I slept right through, but when I ran into the nursery he was still sleeping soundly and breathing.So I had to wake him up to feed him, I remember I was amazed at what a sweet, calm baby he was to not even wake me up for a feeding, HAHA!!!Now I'm under the 2 month mark - I think its starting to hit home!!

June 11th, 2007 - On Thursday I woke up with a headache, Friday it was still there. I took my blood pressure at home - it was elevated. I had swelling in hands feet and face. I was throwing up every morning and lost my appetite and wasn't able to eat. I was worried. I called my Dr. he sent me to L & D to be monitored. They sent me home on bed rest for the weekend. The headache lasted 5 days and was horrible. My Dr. pretty much said this is what the last trimester is all about. This is the most miserable I've ever felt.......I am so weak......how do they expect you to push a child through your cha-chee when your soo weak before you even get close?????? I don't understand! If I went into labor tomorrow there's no way I'd have the energy to endure a day of labor and delivery!

July 8th, 2007 - Well I thought I'd give an update since I haven't for a month. I've been feeling good except for some reason I've just now developed morning sickness. Every morning I'm throwing up. I had a cold I had to fight off last week so I played hooky from work a couple of days. I'm starting my countdown to maternity leave and hope I don't make it. Starting today I have 3 weeks left at work, I'm working up until my due date, unless he comes early which he's more than welcome to. I'm 50/50 on him coming early. There is work to be done once he's here. There's work being done now, but it will be nice to have Jon take over some of the stuff. He thinks he's getting out of a lot of work since I'll be breastfeeding, but little does he know I invested in a good pump!! I'll show him :) I'm 37 weeks now. I had my last ultrasound, Clayton was weighing 6lbs 1 oz. He should be a good enough size to push out by the time he comes. I do feel strong enough to go through labor, but thats just today, tomorrow could be a different story. We had a wonderful 4th of July. Us and the neighbors got together and had about 3 hours of good fireworks. I love the 4th, its a time to be a kid again, although I only do the kiddy fireworks and leave the big stuff to the husband who loves it just as much. Then we went to a professional fireworks display and it was alright, but we didn't want to get stuck in traffic so we just stood outside the car and ran at the finale. Guess thats about it, nursery isn't finished yet, but its only a matter of placing all of the items in its place and Clayton will be in our room for the first few weeks so Jon will have plenty of time to get it all in order while I tend to the chitlin. I just pray that God keeps him in for as long as he needs to, but he HAS to come in July....I don't want an August baby, so we'll start talking about inducement if I go past my due date, although I'd rather do everything naturally.......as long as its in JULY! :)

JULY 18th, 2007 - Well I'm starting week 39 today. Central AC went out yesterday. Nothing worse then being full time preggers in the middle of a Missouri summer where every day is 100+ heat index. I have such horrible luck that it hardly phases me anymore. I've been trying to remain calm and not get upset to send me into labor so we can figure out what's wrong with it. Can't afford to get it fixed right now or replaced, but mom is giving us a window unit so at least we can survive if the baby comes now. I've got my inducement set for July 27th - one day after my due date. I really want him to come on his own, but he has to come in July. I might get scared and change the inducement to the 31st if it doesn't happen by the 27th. I'm tired of everyone's advice & judgement that is freely spouted from the mouth when your pregnant. I'm this close to punching the next person in the mouth. I'm really tired of "arn't you so excited!!"............ummm about what?? More wonderment than excitement, what's it going to be like, what am I going to feel when the moment comes, what's going to happen. what's he going to look like?.....not excitement though. What am I going to do with him besides play dress up?? LOL :) I'm sure I'll figure it all out, I'm blessed to have the good mother genes, my mom is a good one and so is my sister, so I'm not worried about it. I know I have the natural ability within me. As with everything else in life you just have to let it be and roll with it. This might be my last update, if I disappear for more than just a couple days then ya'll will know it finally happened to me, but I'll have plenty to update when I come back. God bless everyone & everything :) Most everyone is complaining about still being pregnant, I guess I've been lucky because he really hasn't caused me much inconvenience, such a good little man. Of course I've had my days, but I guess i'm just not to the point of OMG Get him out! LOL. He's content and so am I......well I guess till yesterday when I had AC.......now I might change my mind :)

July 24th, 2007 - Well, I'm feeling fantastic. Not a single contraction. Dr's apt. on my due date of the 26th, I'm already scheduled for inducement the 27th, IF I don't chicken out and decide to cancel and wait it out. I still haven't made up my mind yet. Most likely I will keep the inducement. Maybe....haha! I soo wanted my first to come naturally on his own, but not at the risk of going into August still preggers! Today is my last day here at work - I'm not due back until Sept. 19th - it will be weird to be gone for 8 weeks, but awesome to have that much time off to adjust to new motherhood. I don't have internet access at home, so I'll only be on here hit and miss so try not to worry about me and DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! I'll be back you can count on it!! I will try to make it on to tell of my labor/delivery sometime when I'm over at my sisters house. This will be my last update being without child........hmmm I feel kinda weird, like I don't know how to feel about anything anymore, so I'm just letting it all happen and unfold before me. Here I go!!! See you all on the other side of talking babies.......take care my friends! Can't wait to come back and see everyone's bundles!!!!! Welcome to this place Clayton Mark - Peace & Love :)