More....

Hey Ladies!!! My name is Clarissa. And this is my first pregnancy. I'm SO excited. My husband and I are newly married... just under a year. We're expecting a boy, which we've decided to name Kaden Reece. My husband will be deploying for Iraq about a month and a half after he's born and that's a lot for me to deal with at the moment. It's upsetting that he'll miss all the great little milestones. Like smiling, crawling, walking, talking, etc. When he leaves, I'll be moving back home to Florida. Probably the only good thing about it. I've had it up to here * with the cold weather in Colorado.

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April 10th 2008. 31 weeks 4 days

So, I've decided to write something in here for the first time. I've been so bored lately. My husband is going to be leaving for a month to train in California with his battalion on the 15th. I'm not excited that he's leaving... but at the same time I can't wait. Because I know that when he gets back it'll only be like 2 weeks before Kaden gets here. This month is going to creep. I just know it. All I'm going to do is sit around and wait. And just how fun is that? Not much. I'm hoping that I get that "nesting" phase. My mom said she never got it. But one can only hope. Just to give me something to do.

I've also been reading a lot of comments on here about everyone's weight gain. It makes me sick when I read the ones where all the girls are upset that they gained like 18 pounds the entire pregnancy or something crazy. I just went to the doctor on the 8th. I GAINED 10 LBS IN THE PAST MONTH. I'm 31 weeks, almost 32, and I've gained 36 lbs so far. That, my dears, is upsetting. 10 lbs in a month. I can't get over it. It stuns me still. I feel like a heffer. (haha) I'm starting to get the "pregnant face" and that was one of the main things that I was worried about. But then, a big part of me wonders if I'm just retaining water; swollen. Because I eat A LOT of salty foods. I can't seem to get enough of "sports bar" foods. Burgers, Fries, Hot Wings, Pizza, Hot Dogs, Chips, Soda... delicious. So maybe that's my problem. I can't help it.

And a couple weeks ago I had to take out my belly button ring. Sad really. If you have piercings, you may know how I feel. I had it for like 8 years... I feel like it's become a part of me. I'm so scared the hole is going to close. But belly button ring holes make for an ugly belly button while pregnant. Creepy. I have a tiny horizontal stretch mark across the skin that was pierced. And I just noticed, a couple days ago, the beginnings of my first stretch marks on my sides. Not cool. I don't care what you call them. Nothing will make me feel better about it. Just like the midwives who are constantly on me about my weight. It's like, I'm kicking myself enough as it is without them badgering me about it. You know?

Okay, and who here has a husband that is freaked out by the baby movements? My husband can only stand to keep his hand on my belly for a short period of time. It freaks him out. I've asked him to explain it but he can't. He just says it's weird. Just this past week he finally came out with how excited he is. That made me feel better.

Oh and I'm so excited for my mom to come out here. I haven't seen here in a year because my husband is stationed out in Colorado and our families live in Florida. My mom will be here the 29th of May and she'll leave the 25th of June. She is so afraid of flying, it's hilarious. But it means a lot that she'll put aside her fears to be here with me and for me. Even if she'll practically go back home for 3 weeks to turn back around so she can help me drive back home. I love my mom and I can't wait to be one. AHHH I CAN'T WAIT!!!

I'm so scared that I'll go into labor while my husband is in training. I doubt I will, but you never know. Things are so unpredictable. I think about the possibility of it and I could start crying. We both have no family out here. I just imagine going into labor and having no one by my side. Just surrounded by the Ob-Gyn crew. With not one familiar face. No one to hold my hand. SO SAD. Then there is always the possibility that my husband will get deployed earlier than they are scheduled to... so he may miss the birth all together. Nothing in the Army is ever set in stone. With my hormones raging, I hate the army more and more with each passing day. I can only hope that they atleast stick to the schedule that has been given and he'll atleast be here.

Anyways... I feel like I'm rambling. But since I've never written anything in here, I guess it's okay. :) I'm sure I'll write more later. Especially since I have one long boring month ahead.