Hi my name is Tracy and I just turned 38.

I have two daughters from a previous marriage.

Lacie just turned 20 in February and moved to Oregon in May of 2006 to spread her wings. She is my romantic dreamer and loves to read, draw and spend time by herself. Her reaction to the baby is "Cool"

Heather "Beans" just turned 17 in September and is a senior in high school and still lives at home. Everyone thinks that she is my sister and when we are out in public they never believe it when she calls me Mom. LOL She is my mathematical one and hates to read and can not stand to be by herself. She always has a ton of people around her. Her reaction to the baby is "Mom the baby is due the same day as my graduation what are you going to do? You can't have the baby at my graduation!"

To describe their difference in personalities I can sum it up with one event that I remember like it was yesterday... When Lacie was 8 her and her sister were in the back seat of the car when all of a sudden she dreamily said "When I grow up I'm gonna marry a millionaire" so Heather without delay piped in (only 5 years old at the time) "Well when I grow up I'm gonna BE a millionaire" I was laughing so hard I had to pull the car over.

Now I am engaged to Morrie who is also 37 and an extremely compassionate and generous man with whom I will marry on September 8th of this year. (9-8-7). We met at a class reunion picnic and were immediately drawn to each other and have been inseparable since.

This picture was taken September 2nd at California adventures after being at Disneyland for 12 hours. Not only am I absolutely worn out and exhausted but can you see the terror in my eyes?

We were almost two weeks pregnant at this time and didn't know it. I got extremely nauseated when we arrived home the next evening and could feel some fluttering sensations going on in my uterus (same thing happened with my other two) and I just knew I was pregnant but also thought I was crazy because it would be too soon to know. I got up the following morning and went to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test while Morrie was sleeping but didn't take the test until that afternoon after telling Morrie "I think I might be pregnant" (4 days before I would "officially" be late) and it was positive with a very very faint line. A week and a half prior to this I was feeling really nauseated and told Morrie that it was more like pregnancy nausea than the Lupus nausea but thought it was way too soon to be feeling any nausea if I was and dismissed it.

For now I am not working due to struggling with Lupus since the birth of my daughter Heather. I am doing well and that is why we decided to go ahead with a pregnancy now while my health is under control instead of waiting until next year after we get married when we have no way of knowing what my health will be like.

This will be Morrie's first child and he is extremely involved which I love him dearly for. He is reading Your Pregnancy For The Father to Be and writing the most beautiful letters to the baby in a journal. This will also be the first grandchild of which his mom is ecstatic about due to the fact that she thought she would never have a grandchild.

This pregnancy is extremely different than that of my girls due to being extremely tired this time. I have to nap during the day and am lucky if I can make it past 8PM.

It is also different due to the extreme love and support I am receiving from Morrie, my friends and family and how excited everyone is about this pregnancy. I often joke about how I will not be able to hold the baby due to everyone else constantly wanting to.

Morrie surprises me and "officially" proposes with a beautiful ring at Bonfante Gardens on November 25, 2006.

Jenna at her 21 1/2 week 3D ultrasound on January 6th. She kept yawning and trying to get her thumb in her mouth.

3D at 30 weeks. Not a very good scan of picture. The top of her head and nose were smashed but look at those cute little full lips and chubby cheeks. Can't wait until she is here.

This is the crib bedding we picked out because it has a vintage look. The crib, armoire and combo dresser are by Bona Vista but for some reason I can not get a picture to post on here.

This is me 3 days before having Jenna. I gained a lot of weight!

My Birth Story…

I went to my weekly appointment on Tuesday May 15^th and was in a lot of pain. My back felt like it was going to snap in half and the contractions were starting to get to the point where they were lasting all day and getting very painful. After 2 months of this I was more than at my limit of pain tolerance, both physically and mentally worn out and could no longer function so I asked to be scheduled for an induction. Since my doctor had made me wait an hour for my appointment the nurse practitioner ended up seeing me and said that I would have to come back on Thursday to see the doctor and then they would call the hospital to see if they had an opening that evening or they would send me Friday morning. At this appointment I was dilated to 3 cm and 80% effaced so was told it would not be a problem.

I immediately started having anxiety after leaving the doctor about being induced. The whole thought of it scared me because of what I had been told about induction and how much harder and intense it was. I had a very difficult labor with my last baby almost 18 years ago and so I was not looking forward to the whole labor process.

They had me come in on Thursday to see the doctor. She said that I was dilated a loose 3-4 cm and still 80% effaced and without telling me she stripped my membranes. This was really painful and caused those lovely shocking sharp pains as she hit my cervix. She said that the hospital was full for the day and that she would see if they had an opening for the morning. The hospital said that they were full but she talked them into fitting us in because of the pain I had been in for so long. We were told to be there at 6am for a rupture of membranes and to be started on pitocin. I asked her how far did I have to be to get the epidural and she said that I should be able to get it right away which made me feel a whole lot better.

So Thursday night I did not get much sleep not because of anxiety or worry but because I was in so much pain. I was actually looking forward to the induction this time and felt the least amount of stress I had in months because I knew that we would be at the hospital and not have to worry about the 40 minute drive if I went into labor on my own and that I could get the epidural fairly quickly.

So we get to the hospital at 6 am and there is another couple waiting for an induction and we are told that they are having a house cleaning problem and the rooms are not ready. We have to wait in the emergency room until 7:30 am and they take us up. The nurse that we got was so nice and she said we were her only patient so she could spend as much time with us as needed. She hooked me up to the monitors and Jenna was moving around a lot so she kept having to re position them. For some reason the contractions were not picking up on the monitor like they should either. My daughter Heather and her friend Erica arrived about 7:45 am .So at around 8am she got me hooked up to an I.V. and the doctor came in at around 8:15 and said I was dilated to a 4 and without telling me he broke my water. He didn’t use the long hook but had put this little thing on the end of his finger. I immediately started feeling the contraction pick up. I asked ok when can I get my epidural? He said when the contractions get more consistent. Uggghhhh!

My sister showed up right after the doctor left and everyone was having a good time. Morrie was on the laptop keeping his buddies on his forum up to date, my sister Crystal was asking lots of questions and the girls I don’t think knew what to think. I told the nurse this was good birth control for then to watch. Everyone was cracking jokes and every time they did it would make me laugh and I finally had to tell them “stop making me laugh because every time I do stuff comes out!” I tried to get back on to update on this site but with my stomach and all the monitors we couldn't get the laptop close enough for me to type.

Well the contractions started to get a lot stronger after they started the pitocin around 9 am and I was told that the anesthesiologist was going to be in a C-section at 11:30 am so I could either wait until after that for the epidural or I would have to get it before he went in and they would see how the contractions went and I told them I didn’t want my pain level to get past a 6 and that I definitely did not want to wait for him to come out of a C-section. By 10 am I was ready for the epidural. The girls left the room and decided to go get something to eat. They started the epidural around 10:15 and it was very painful. I thought I was going to break Morrie’s hands from squeezing so hard. It was causing this shooting pain to go sideways and I started to think I had made a mistake to get it but then it kicked in and I felt very warm. It felt different than I thought it would because I didn’t feel numb just felt warm from below my breast down to my knees. It also made me feel a little itchy but not a painful itch just more of a sensation of one.

The nurse did an exam and said that I was still dilated to a 4 and inserted the catheter and since the external monitor was not picking up the contractions like it should they wanted to put an internal monitor inside me between the baby’s head and the wall of the uterus. This monitor was acting weird too and they said that it measures barometric pressures and it was high and had me lie on my right side. As soon as they did this they could see that I was having really good contractions close together. I didn’t feel them. I told the nurse that with my other two that once I dilated to 5 cm I went to a 10 VERY QUICKLY!

At around 11 am I started feeling the contractions and thought wait a minute I am not suppose to feel these and told the nurse. They were only about a 4 on the pain scale but I was still concerned that I could feel them. She called the anesthesiologist in and he acted like I was crazy or something and said I was probably not feeling contractions but just pressure from the baby’s head. The nurse told him that she thought I knew what I was talking about because I was breathing pretty good through them. He said he would give me a boost to see if it helped. He injected something else through the epidural and said I should feel better in about 15 minutes. WRONG! The pain intensified over those next 15 minutes and my contractions were right on top of each other and the pain was up to around a 7 and getting stronger with pain shooting down my left hip so she called him but he was in with the C-section.

I started thinking that maybe it was time to push but it wasn’t that overwhelming I have to push now like with my first two but I didn’t have an epidural with them. All of a sudden the nurse says don’t push. I guess I had without realizing it. She said I am going to check you because I have a feeling you are ready to have this baby. Sure enough at around noon I was dilated to a 10. I told the nurse "I told you I was going to dilate quick" and she said she had believed me but didn't think it was going to be that quick. She had me turn back on to my back and the pain went away. I guess Jenna didn’t like me lying on my right side. The nurse told Morrie to hold my left leg and my sister said she could hold my right leg. I had not planned on my sister being in there while actually delivering but things were so relaxed I didn’t care. Heather stood back to the side and her friend Erica left the room. The nurse had me do a “practice” push in a set of three pushes counting to 10. I couldn’t feel anything but I was told they could see the head. I told her she better call the doctor because I didn’t think Jenna was going to wait around for him. She called him and he came in and said this baby has a big head with lots of hair. I said “I could have told you that” He told me not to push while he got his gloves and stuff on. Morrie was so excited and came up to my face gave me a kiss and said I can see her ear. I was confused and said you shouldn't be able to see her ear unless she is coming out sideways. Turns out that what he saw was the skin on her head being pushed up a little on her skull. Too funny! The doctor had me push one more time and her head was out so he told me not to push. Then with one more push she was born at 12:16 pm and let out the sweetest little cry. It was so beautiful! Morrie was crying I was crying and he just kept saying how wonderful she was. Only 4 hours from when the doctor broke my water. Exactly 8 pounds, 20 1/2 inches long and a head circumference of 13 3/4 inches.

They had placed her on my stomach as soon as she was born and Morrie got to cut the umbilical cord and then they took her over to clean her up and measure her. Morrie was holding my hand and I could tell he wanted to go to her so I told him it was ok to go. He kept going over to her talking to her and then coming back to me and giving me kisses with tears streaming down his face and then back over to her again. The nurses couldn’t believe how alert she was and how she didn’t even look like she had just been born. She was so mellow that she didn’t cry the whole time that they were cleaning her up and giving her a bath. Everyone was taking her picture and then the nurses along with my sister and the girls decided they were going to get her all dressed in one of the gowns we brought because they didn’t want her in the hospital t-shirt. I said are you guys going to ever bring her back to me so they did.

I have been doing really well. The next day on Saturday around 11 am I started having very intense excruciating contractions that were actually worse than the contractions I had during labor. They gave me vicodin and they lasted for a full hour of agony before it took the edge off. These contractions lasted for a couple of days. On Sunday I started having really bad back pain which I was told was a side effect from the epidural. The back pain started getting better on Tuesday and the contractions and cramping have pretty much stopped. I started to go into a Lupus flare Wednesday night and was feeling really bad all day Thursday. I finally had to give in and take my steroids which helped a lot. I waited until after Jenna had nursed before taking them so that she wouldn’t end up getting any in her.

Jenna is such a good baby and is happy and content. I actually had to wake her up the first night home because she slept from 3 am to 8:30 am. Morrie has gotten more sleep since she has been born than he has in months. My pregnancy and complications were rough on both of us. He keeps saying I don’t know what people are talking about. I was told to kiss my sleep goodbye. She is nursing really well and I often have to wake her up to eat otherwise she would sleep all the time. Nothing fazes her either. There was a baby in the room with us at the hospital because we had to share a room that screamed the whole time and she didn’t even care. Morrie got the vacuum out the other day and was in the same room with us and she didn’t even flinch and slept.

I am so in love with this child and can’t wait until she is able to talk and walk and share life experiences with.

Jenna Courtney (last name omitted for privacy) May 18, 2007 12:16 pm 8 pounds 20 1/2 inches long

Jenna's first beauty treatment.

Big Sister Heather and Jenna

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Proud Daddy!

Waiting for Daddy at hospital 6 am

Jenna 48 hours old.

One Week Old with Blingy Binky from Big Sister Heather

One week old dreaming of Daddy's kisses

Waiting to go to Daddy's hockey game 6-16-07

One month old on Father's Day 6-17-07

Jenna on June 29th at 42 days old. She was just starting to smile and make sounds.