My Name is Kayla, I had a girl, and her name is
Lily Paige!

Born: February 28 2008 @ 2:56 am

6 lbs 10oz, 19in long

I'm starting up a whole new page because this site spiratically deleted some of my journal entries I had on here, so I'm starting over again and hopefully for the next 20 weeks, it will save everything I put on my page. Cool? I sure hope so.. lol

November 3, 2007--

So, today is Saturday and I need to remember to turn back my clock before I go to sleep tonight =/ I'm sure I'll forget in the morning, but w/e. I'm going to church tomorrow morning and I haven't been in ages! But I'm going to get some maternity clothes from my friend Bev. She has a few shirts and capri pants for me that I can wear to work. I start at Verizon on Monday and I'm so freaking excited about it! I'm going to be an operator.. basically, the person you call when you dial 411 on your cellphone. I have to wear a headset all day and stare at a computer for about 9 hours a day, but the plus side is that I get to sit in a nice squishy chair all day instead of standing behind a register which is a huge plus for me. I think my ankles are beginning to swell too and that kinda sucks, eh? But, it's cool. Life goes on. So, I'm off to bed. I've been feeling kind of green this evening so I hope the feeling wears away before tomorrow morning. I do't feel like puking in sunday school =/ yuck. Love, Kayla!

November 4, 2007--

Well, I still have that yucky feeling from yesterday. I really wish it would go away before I start wokr tomorrow. The last thing I want is to be sick on my first day of work. Although, my mom was even saying, if you wake up one morning and you're throwing up, bring a bucket to work with you because the forst 90 days [aka: the probationary period], they watch you like a hawk. I'm nervous. Since I know I'm being watched, I have a feeling I'm going to somehow screw up. I'm hoping I make at least one friend tomorrow so I have someone to talk to during breaktime or lunchtime or something. I hate doing stuff alone. Like, driving to and from work for an hour and a half. I'm going to listen to my My Chemical Romance CD, like, 3 or 4 times over before I get back home in the evening. I'm sure it's going to be dark by the time I get home because of the freaking daylight savings crap. Grr. I get off at 5:30 in the afternoon and I'm sure the sun's already going to be setting. And then I have about an hour or hour and a half to get home. I just really hope I don't get lost again like I did on the day I went for my testing a few months ago. 'sigh'

Hmm. My nose is clogged but suddenly, I could've sworn I smelled spaghetti. lol. But that sounds really good right about now. So, it's only 7:33 pm and it's dark as midnight outside. It's so strange. But, I'm going to take a shower and get ready for bed and lay out clothes and set out my meals for tomorrow' big day. I'm so excited and nervous and anxious and scared, like, all in one. I just need to keep cool and listen to everything the people have to say. I can't be in one of my passive states like I'm in when I'm in class. lol. I have to actually listen to what these people are telling me. But thankfully, it's two weeks worth of training and it's not just one or two days. Thank you Jesus. lol So, I'm off! Maybe I'll type again tomorrow. Night! <3--Kayla

November 8, 2007--

So, I'm officially finished with day number 4 of training at Verizon. I knew this wouldn't be a piece of cake, but I feel that it's hard as hell to remember these phrases and questions we have to say. And we have to say them exactly. To the T. It's crazy. And then they tell us that we can't be monotone and that we have to have some kind of emotion or expression in our voice. But the way my voice sounds, it's a little deep and it can tend to get monotone pretty fast. So, I'm going to have to work on that definitely. We have a D and R test [or R and D or something...] test tomorrow, and we have to take 10 calls that our bosses will be listening to, and they'll be grading us. I'm so afraid that I'm going to fail it =/ I was told that I didn a good job today. Everyone who's in my training class took live calls for a half an hour today and the time flew by like it was only 5 min's and all of a sudden, my teacher that was helping me out unplugged my headset and I looked at the clock an dit was already a half an hour later. I love that time flies, but some people can get pretty difficult.

Example: I had some lady ask me for a Cingular building on the corner of A Avenue and 14th. I was looking for A AND 14th and there was nothing showing on my computer and the girl goes "well, I called yesterday and they found a number for both roads. I'm just going to hang up now" and I go "ok. thank you" and I hung her up. It's retarded. If I say I don't have it, don't keep questioning me, you know. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sorry, I don't have that listing in my database". I mean, it's kind of the same thing everyday where you're on the phone with people, and then again, it's not the same thing everyday and you're stuck in new instances and new situations to help people out in. It's fun, it's challenging, and more importantly, it makes the time go by because I'm always busy so that was totally cool. Every job I've ever had, it's a dead end job where I can never go anywhere and there's always time when the store I'm working in or my register I'm working on is completely dead, and I have nothing to do. Whereas here, I bet I'm going to work through one of my 15 minute breaks. I asked my trainer about that today and she said thet there's going to be a supervisor on the floor letting everyone know when theire break is, or if they passed their break. But if you're a few minutes late, you still get to go for the full 15 min's which is awesome.

So, I move in with my friend, Angel, to her house on Turkey Creek Road this weekend. I plan on resting as much as I can on Saturday and then I'm going to move everything possible on Sunday. I'm hoping she'll come over in the morning sometime and I can pack a bunch of crap in her car, some in my car, and whatever else is left, I'm hoping it's just going to be big furniture so I can find someone with a big truck to haul my bed, dresser, and computer desk there. The thing that really sucks is that Angel doesn't have the internet at her house, so I'm going to try to set up something over there. I want to get that 3-in-1 thing from FiOS so I can have a phone there [under my name otherwise I can't have the discount], i'll have the internet and we'll have FiOS TV [kinda like satelite or cable but better!] it seems kinda homey there, but i guess i have to homie-fy my bedroom and put posters on the wall and blare my stereo so it can feel like home. lol. her kids are totally sweet and her son asked if i wanted to play with him and the cat but i had tyo tell him no cuz my stomach was totally killing me tonight so i had to haul-ass home. the minestrone soup i had for lunch, it had some kidney beans in it and I'm almost positive that's what happened. I can't have any type of bean or it makes me feel like exploding. I can't eat tuna. I've also had a bad experience with that because of baby. And if it's food thats too salty, she doesn't like it and doesn't want it to come down near her, but i hate throwing up and I haven't done it in years and so far, I'm doing a pretty damn good job at keeping stuff down. cool! so, i need to get a shower and get in bed. I'm so tired and after tomorrow, I get to rest for a whole day before I move all my stuff. and I mean ALL my stuff. I have clothes ans trash all ove my bedroom. I'm going t miss this house so much cuz it's where I grew up but everyone's gotta move on at sometime, eh? I guess my time is on sunday. night! <3

November 13, 2007--

So, I'm not going to type too much cuz I'm dead tired and I'm going to go hop in bed in just a second, but I just wanted to say that I got my first pair of stretchy jeans today =D I have those stretchy black work pants that I've been wearing the past two weeks, but now I have stretchy jeans! yay! And I bought the cutest pink sweater ever that I found at American Eagle and I only got pink because Lily is a girl and I wanted to get something that would coincide with her =) and I got her her first stuffed animal! It's the softest pastel green frog you will ever feel or see in your life. It's one of those TY ones with the beans in the feet and hands. He was 6 bucks at the maternitt store so I picked him out cuz I figure I'll do Lily's room in frogs, since frogs jump on "Lily" pads. haha. Yeah. It may seem gay but that's how I link the two together =)

Here's my sweater I bought today! The end <3 Goodnight.

November 25, 2007--

Lily's been kicking me like crazy lately. I'm guessing cuz she's getting bigger and I'm able to feel her alot better now. And I think the stage I'm at [almost 24 weeks], she fills out my uterus and now she's slowly starting to curl into the "fetal position". I can't wait to meet her =) I'm so ready. Not financially, but every other aspect. I'm totally ready for her. I just want to hold her and feed her and love her to death. And put her in her clothes. She has so many cute outfits I can't wait to see her in too. I wonder if she'll look like me???

December 13, 2007--

Yeah, I know it's been a while, but I've been busy with work and all that. Well, everything's still going smooth so far. She's been rolling around and kicking like mad crazy so I'm glad she's just alive and healthy =] I have two u/s's coming up this month: One at the hospital on the 26th for my level 2 so they can check-up Lily and her development and see if everything is normal size and they're going to check her organs again [and last time everything looked perfect so I'm not expecting anything to change] and then I have one on the 31st at my doctor's office and one of the ladies at the front desk said I coudl bring in a blank VHS tape so they can record Lily for me. I'm so excited! I consider these my 2 late christmas presents :) But I have my glucose test coming up really soon, next wednesday on the 19th. Yuck. I'm not looking forward to the drink. I've been told by some people that it tastes like nasty flat orange soda and by others that it's really sweet and it's not half-bad so I guess I just have to wait and see =] And then January, I've gotta get cracking on my apartment search if I haven't already cuz I gotta be out of here by January 31st and not a day later. Wish me luck, or say a prayer. I need a place so bad. I'm trying to find a place with cousin who's also pregnant and due a month after I am and we're looking for a place in Lakeland that's closer to our work cuz we both are 411 operators in the downtown verizon building =] I'm having fun with it and I think I'm getting better and more comfortable with everything as the days go by, which is definitely a plus. We're just lookig for a 2/2, and Lily's nursery will be my bedroom and Ashlee's baby will live in her bedroom. But If we're able to find a 3/2 or a 4/2 for a decent price, I'm going to go for it, for sure! lol But I'm gonna go get something for breakfast. I'll write again in a few days. -kayla-

December 29, 2007---

So, 2007 is almost over with. I've defnitely had an eventful year, but I can't wait to see what I'm in for in 2008. I've gotta be moved out of the house by the end of January and if things work out like they should, I should have my place by mid-January [please work out!]. Then I'm having my shower on Friday February 1, in the evening from 6 to 9. So it'll give people time to get home and shower after work and get themselves ready. And instead of serving full-blown dinners to people, I'm thinking of just doing a dessert spread. Cuz my mom's throwing my shower anyways and I don't want her to spend an arm and a leg on it. Just simple pink and white [maybe black, maybe brown] decorations. I'm trying to stick with either purple, pink and black, or pink and brown for her. The crib that I'm dying for is pink and brown and the bedroom set I want from Target is pink and black, so we'll just have to wait and see and whatever I don't get from my shower, hopefully I'll have some money to buy whatever else I need. And I'm sure my mom will help out with what she can. Although, she's already bought me a bassinet, so I'm not expecting too much more out of her :) If she gives something else, I'll be pleasantly suprised for sure. lol Oh yeah, and I have an u/s on the 31, on new year's eve and I'm getting pic's and a video out of it, so as soon as I get it home, I'm putting it straight on my computer. I'm so excited!

I had a level-2 sono on the 26 at the hospital and they checked out her organs and all that and they said she's growing perfectly and everything is normal, like a normal healthy growing baby should be. I was never worried when my test came back positive. The only people who have down-syndrome babies are women over 40 and I'm nowhere mear that. When I'm 40, my Lily will be 19 turning 20. Crazy to think about, eh? Anyways, so I'm stoked! But when I went into the hospital for the level 2, I couldn't see anything really well. Like, I saw her big head she got from ehr daddy, her heartbeat, her spine, and her big tummy, but she's already head-down and in a ball so the lady couldn't check between her legs cuz she was squeezing them tight together. lol They don't know how long she is, but the lady said she weighs 2lbs and 8oz now, and with all the things I've read online, she's right on track :) And also, according to online, from her head to the bottom of her feet, she should already be 15 inches! That's crazy. But she moves so much and all the time so I know she's alive and well in there. But I gotta get ready for work. I'll be back on to upload my photos on here.

♥

December 31, 2007--

So, today is the last day of 2007. I feel this year was quite eventful and 2008 is probably going to drive me mad. I'm getting my own place in January-ish, I'm having my shower on February 1, and I'm going to have a daughter sometime in March. I'm totally stoked and I think the only thing I'm nervous about is the daycare situation when I have to go back to work. BUT.... As for my u/s I had today, everything is perfect and her heartbeat was 163-per min which is awesome! My glucose test came back normal which i'm so happy about, but now i'm having to take iron pills and chewable vitamin c tablets. but not bad compared to shooting up with crap if i DID have diabetes. ugh. That would be killer. So, I'm working an extra 5 hrs tonite on my day off. I'm just adding an extra 5 hrs to my already 40 hrs I was scheduled for this week AND I worked an extra half hour last night [until 9:30 instead of 9], so pray that I get enough sleep tonite after I get home. I'm pulling a 5-10pm and I'll be home at 11 so I'll be here just in-time to upload my sono pics and see the ball drop before I zonk out on my bed. Oh yeah, one of the things I saw on my sono today... Her head is down in my pelvis, and just imagine... her body goes up into my ribs and then her legs go from there down to in-front of her face, and I saw her ankles crossed in-front of her face. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. lol.

January 7, 2008--

wow, 2008. freaking crazy, eh? Anyways, so it's January and I gotta get crackin' with this apartment-finding business. I have one place in mind [actually the place my cousin lives in now] which is about 5 min's away from work [depending on traffic] so it's completely perfect. I'm just hoping they don't tell me no based on my credit. It got bad when I went those 3 months with no job and then I'm slowly paying them back, but I don't have them paid-off yet so I hope they don't hold that against me. My mom will be my reference, seeing as I used to pay her rent back in the day so she will vouch for me if they call the house. yay! So, the 1/1 is 400 a month and I make about 60 bucks more than that [maybe a little more] every 2 weeks, so I think I'm set with that. I've just gotta kick ass and save up 800 bucks before the end of January. I get paid 2 more time this months which is a God-send but I won't be able to save up 400 from both paychecks, considering I've got gas and car insurance to pay for. But my mom says once I move in, she'll help me out. I've got some living room, dining room, AND kitchen stuff coming from my grandma and my dad so I guess the only things I need from my mom are bathroom things and some groceries :) I would kill for some grocery money too! ugh. I'm going to be el poor until I go back to work after my maternity leave and as it is now, I'm going to have to save whatever I can between now and when I leave for Lily cuz even then, I'm only going to be able to be off for like a month and then I'm going to have to go back to work. It kills me to go only a month with my baby before leaving her with starngers all day :'( but I gotta do what i gotta do, eh? And the sooner I get back to work, the sooner I can start making money again and supporting us better than when I'm off for maternity leave, right right? lol

So, things will pan-out, I'm sure. And my mom will be at my place for the first couple days after Lily's born so she can help out and maybe make me food or something. I just can't wait to see what I get at my shower and hopefully I'll get everything else I need and nothing I don't so I won't have to buy anything extra with my maternity-leave money =/ Good luck to me! for sure. lol. love you ladies. I'll be back on in about a week to tell you if I'm approved. Keep those prayers up! You know God can do anything. If we pray hard enough and this is in his will, it will happen. love, kayla and the chunky monkey lily monster ♥

January 10, 2008--

Haha. Baby hiccups are the cutest when they're still in your tummy. Like every two seconds, you see your whole tummy move and then it goes normal and then it suddenly moves like a big jump and then it's back to normal again. lol. I love my Lily-kins :)

January 30, 2008--

Haha. It feels like she's doing the wave in my stomach. She was kicking me in the ribs earlier when I heaved myself on my bed to balance my checkbook. It felt like butterflies in my ribs and it didn't so much hurt, it was just discomfort. Just like my braxton hicks I've been getting. They're not even painful, they're just uncomfortable. So, yay for that. And my "friend", Robert, says he's not leaving for basic until after I have Lily and when he told me that, I wanted to cry cuz I was so happy. I guess it's the hormones comin out of me. lol. Ugh, she's in my ribs again. It feels so weird. Haha. She just had the hiccups. Like, 2 times and then they went away. So, it's only 12noon right now and I'm already dead-tired. Then again, I got out of bed at 8 cuz I couldn't go back to sleep cuz the sun was shining into my window =/ grr. Oh yeah, I took a belly pic for 33 weeks and I'll put it in my album as soon as I finsh this entry. So, I'm off to eat some lunch. I'll write again in a few days... or weeks. lol. love, kayla and lily

February 3, 2008--

I'm so hungry all the damn time! And I'd do anything for a freaking cuban sandwich right now, and it seems everyone is staying at home to watch the freaking footall game tonight :( grrrrrr! I don't know who else to call either. Daniela never texted me back so my guess is she's asleep. Robert's staying at home for the game with his dad and susan has already had dinner for the evening. I'm so angry cuz i'm hungry. Just somebody freaking hungry so I can go to bed in peace! Somebody send me a suprise text and invite me to dinner or something! geez. I just need to fill my belly. and I just really really want a cuban. I feel like such a cow and my feet and ankles have been so big lately. I'm chuggin water and keeping my feet elevated but that seems to be doing no good. I just want her to come out. I'll be 34 weeks this-coming tuesday. I think thats a good time to come out, right? hah, kidding! I want her to be full-term and i want everything developed before she comes out of me so i can be in labor for one day, spend the night at the hospital, and go home the next day with no worries. But, I'm going to go. Like I said, I'm hungry as hell and I need some food! ciao!

February 19, 2008--

So, today I go into the doctor at 10:45 for my 36-week checkup. And now I get to go in once a week starting today. I can't believe I'm this close. But, I'm 36 weeks now and she's officially full-term so she can come at anyday now and I'm stoked, excited, nervous... I'm just a big ball of numerous feelings. I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out when I first see her and I'm totally ready to have her. I've finally got everything I believe I'll need. I can't think of anyting I don't have. I'm just driving by WalMart sometime this afternoon and I'm picking up my Diaper Genie, some of the refill cassettes, and I need some kinda plastic Rubbermaid thing to put Lily's stuff in but I think I'm gonna order this one thing I saw on WalMart's website. It's totally cute and it's something you hang in your closet and it has little organziing squares on the bottom of it. She's just taking up 2 out of my 6 dresser drawers and I can't keep her stuff in my drawers. It's such an inconvenience [if you knew how my room was laid out, you would notice that her stuff is in the drawers that are hidden behind my closet door and it's a pain in the butt everytime I have to go in there to clean, or grab something, or show someone something. So, I'll get something figured out. And I'm gonna do that Ship To Store thing so I don't have to pay shipping charges and it says it'll take 7-10 days to get there. So... I'm excited! :D

March 30, 2008--
Just for shits and giggles, I thought I would do a little labor quiz and it was actually pretty close with what happened...
Get your bags packed early just in case you need them. Make sure your partner has a phone available when he's away because this baby just might come early. We predict your baby will come 2-3 weeks early. Your baby will most likely be born in the morning. Justmommies predicts that your baby will weigh approximately 7.5 pounds and that your labor will be about 12 hours long.

Surprising, right? Yeah, for sure! She came 2 1/2 weeks early, my labor was for about 13 hrs [from the time my water broke, anyways] and she weighed 6lbs 10oz, so hey, these things are pretty nifty. lol. Lily's doin good. She's been a little phlegmy lately, but luckily I remembered to bring home the bulb syringe she had in her little crib/carrier/push-cart thing she was in in the hospital :)
I always gotta keep the syringe and a washcloth handy cuz she tends to blow milk outta her nose sometimes after eating, poor baby :(
Josh has now seen her twice, and I'm sure loving every minute. He fell in-love the first time he saw her and held her... me AND his mom could see it. He wouldn't let go of her for all of us to go out to dinner, but my mom took her outta his arms and a few of us went out and had some dinner and when we all came back from eating, he came back inside and said his goodbyes, gave her a kiss, gave me a hug, and we got a few pics of us and them together [how precious! i'll put them in my album when I'm done with this].
But, he's living out in Tarpon Springs now [which he says is about 45 min's away from my house] and I never know when he's going to come back into town to visit, but I saw him on Friday about noonish and we watched a couple movies, I fed her a couple times and then he had to leave to pick up his friend from work.
Good times, oh yes...
Anyways... me and Josh both applied for Brighthouse, him for an installer position and me for a customer service position and Gina is supposed to be helping both of us out in getting the jobs cuz she's kinda high up and she knows people, let's put it like that...
So, I got off the phone with her a little bit ago and she said when she goes in tomorrow, she'll talk to her manager and see what's going on with Josh's resume and my application. I'm hoping and praying so hard that all goes well.
Oh yes and more news... my mom has decided that my move-out date is set for July 1st. That'll only give me May and June to save-up money for my own place [although, I'm hoping me AND Josh get the job at Brighthouse so we can get a place together so Lily can live with both of her parents... I feel it's not fair for me OR her right now to be living together, just us. We need a man to protect us and I want Lily to grow up with her daddy cuz I had a close bond with my dad while growing up and I want her to be able to do the same... let's just hope he wants the same as me. Again, hoping and praying for that miracle...]
So, that's what's going on with me... oh, but to go back to the move-out date, I'm going to downtown Tampa tomorrow to the courthouse and I'm going to see social services to see what they can do for me what with help with housing and filing for child support and all that good stuff. AND for daycare help. I'm hoping that whoever I see and get to sit-down and talk to, I hope they're understanding people and not someone who's going to just push me aside. =/ I'll update again when I can, when I have more news!
xxxxx

April 15, 2008--
just as a quick update, at Lily's appt about a week and 1/2 ago, she weighed 9lbs 11oz so I think she's probably 10lbs by now :) she's sleeping now so I'm taking advantage and doing stuff I can't usually. Anyways, hope all you mommies and mommies-to-be are doing well and hanging in there. Things will be a little rough here and there, but things only get better :) Just raise them as you want and they'll turn into the adult you molded them into. [how apathetic, eh? haha] anyways, gotta go. I need to wake her up to feed her. I'll be back in a week, maybe, or a couple weeks?
<3 Kayla and Lily <3

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Well, holy crap. It's been FOREVER since I been on here. I can't type too much cuz I have to get back to work in 3 min's. Basically,m to sum up everything, I'm living in Lakeland closer to my work, just me and Lily on our own in a studio apartment. It SUCKs because my mom could not have found more of a dump for us to move into but thankfully once my 18 mths are over, i'll be able to transfer to any verizon office i want to and keep my seniority so that's basically the only thing i'm looking forward to. I'm thinking of moving to Clearwater where my dad and stepmom live. They're such fun amazing people. So, that's an idea. Either that, or I can go to downtown Tampa. Or I can just move back to Brandon and work in the Temple Terrace office where my mom works. Either way, I just want to be out of Lakeland. Nothing really else is going on. All i do is sleep and work. They've been scheduling us 6 days so I don't have barely any time with Lily anymore but I do what I can when I get her home in the afternoon before I give her her bath and bottle before going to sleep. Well, time for me to get back to work. I'll try to update more often. Maybe in a blog. But.. I'll chat again later. Love you all, Kayla and Lily