Hi everyone, I'm a first time to-be mom and I'm really scared, but so excited. I have so many curiosities, and right now, it's really comforting to know I'm not alone in that boat. Things are a little hard right now... I'm not married, but I have been with the father for over 4 1/2 years, and he isn't exactly overjoyed with our little "oops" yet. He's really scared and it's making it really hard to to enjoy this magical time. For now I'm hanging in there - and all I can hope is once he hears the heartbeat or feels that first kick he's going to liven up a little. So here I am looking for other ppl to share my excitement with. I can't wait to meet all the future moms here!

01.08.08

Happy Birthday to me!! Wow, these last few weeks have been so crazy - we went in for our 1st U/S Jan 2!! It was so amazing to see those little arms and legs moving around! I was really nervous about the u/s, scared I wouldn't hear a heartbeat, but there it was racing away at 171 bpm (fast huh?). Healthwise I have felt better.... I'm still getting sick at least once everyday and when I do eat I notice I'm not eating as much as I would have before - so needless to say I'm slowing continuing to lose weight rather than gain. I'm so tired these days I hardly feel like dragging myself out of bed, and some days I don't.... I hope work understands.

Michael and I are doing alright I suppose.... sometimes I think he's doing better with the idea of having a baby, and sometimes I'm not so sure. We have been talking about going to a counselor to see if someone can help us work through this. I really need him to get excited about this baby... baby steps I suppose. I'm really scared right now, and I'm trying to prepare myself for the possiblity of becoming a single parent - some days it seems very likely...

01.24.08

OK the excitement just keeps growing and growing , and now so is my bump! I'm only 13 weeks & I'm so eager to meet my baby I could just cry! I am so excited to have made it to this point - I feel like I can breathe a little now and really start enjoying and planning for this baby. We had another Dr's appointment yesterday, I don't think I've ever been so excited about Dr's appointments before =) We heard the heartbeat with the doppler and it was so beautiful, truly music to our ears. The funny part was the little jumping bean was moving around so much the Dr couldn't keep up with him to count out the BPM - HA!! I think I'm going to have a wiggle worm on my hands sometime soon. Michael is starting to get excited about our little bundle - he can't even help himself. The other night he started rubbing on my tummy, and I could tell he really wanted to connect to our child and myself - I could have cried. He's even mentioned a couple of names for the baby. I am so happy word can't express...

Has anyone else noticed that EVERYONE is pregnant? I am so serious!! We just found out that Michael's first cousin and his wife are due 1.5 months after us, 2 guys on his soccer team announced their wives are pregnant last night - all due around us, 2 other guys Michael works with (in a 30 person company) have due dates within 2 weeks of ours, a guy that I work with (50 person company) has announced that his wife is due 1 week after us --- and those are just the ones due around us!!! Holy crap, baby boom is right!

02.22.08

Time seems to be moving on a little faster now that I'm through the 1st trimester. Just when I think I can't be any more excited about this baby - I get more excited! I have finally felt the first flutters - Valentines night when we were laying in bed to be exact - how appropriate. I'm still not feeling regular flutters yet, but I'm so ready for it! I am finally feeling better, although a bought of nausea can strike unexpectedly at any time. Headaches have been a consistant problem through the beginning of the second trimester. I am starting to show, although it's not too obvious to other ppl yet - for now, I just look fat around the mid-section. Strange how I look bigger as the day goes on...I wonder why it works like that? I'm also noticing that when I lay down my stomach doesn't sink back down into my pelvis - I'm actually starting to look round when I lay down =).

We went for our anatomy ultrasound this past Wednesday - ITS A BOY!!! His daddy is soooo excited, and although he was starting to come around on his own to the idea of having a baby I think he left the Dr's office 3x's more excited about this baby than when he walked in. Maybe he finaly feels like he's getting something he wants out of this pregnancy - a son - to be honest, I coudn't be happier to be the woman to give it to him. It's strange how much more real this baby feels and how much more connected I feel to this child now that he's no longer an "it"! Everything on the u/s looked great - we got to see so much and it was just amazing, overwhelming really. The lady who did the u/s was commenting how how active he was, and what joy to watch him stretch his legs and burrow his head -he looked like he was torturing my insides and the funny part was I couldn't feel a thing! I told the sonographer and she said he's just still very small - about 6oz to be exact! In short - I can't wait to meet my son and hold him in my arms....I could cry just thinking about it (hahahaha - preggo woman cries - newsflash!)

3.28.08

I really can't believe how fast things feel like they are moving now. During the 1st trimester it seemed like the days were crawling by, but now I can't believe the weeks seem to be going by so fast - almost too fast... there is so much to do before he gets here. We are in the process of remodeling the house and making a home for our son to be comfortable and happy in and it is really hard work. We both work 40+ hrs/week and then the weekends are anything but rest - Oh well, it's all worth it.

Our little guy is really starting to move around these days - I've been able to feel him move from the outside for about 4 weeks now and I can't express how much I love that feeling! I may change my tune when he starts to get bigger, but he could kick me all day long and I couldn't be happier =) My belly looks like it's just EXPLODING right now hahahaha - I went from feeling just chunky looking to everyone being able to tell without a doubt there's a baby in there. We opted to have the AFP testing done last month and what a relief that everything came back just fine - I had a good feeling that it would, but definitely a nice piece of reassurance for his daddy and me. Lately I find myself looking to the labor part of this pregnancy, and I'm not going to lie - I'm scared sh*tless. I really want to go natural, but I just don't know if I'll be able to do it - and then if I can't am I going to feel like a failure for not being able to take it? We have a doula coming over for an interview on April 5 and I'm really hoping she can bring me some piece of mind.

4.20.08

25 weeks!! Time just keep ticking on by and everyday brings me closer to holding our beautiful baby in my arms. I can't believe how real it's all starting to feel now - we have hired a doula to help with labor, we went and toured the 1st of 2 hospitals we can deliver at, picked out the furnture and bedding for the nursery, bought the carseat & stroller.... it's really happening now and we are really preparing for the arrival of our son =). I'm guessing we will order the furniture in about a week or so and next weekend we will start painting his room so it has time to air out before he gets here (not that he will be sleeping in it any time soon after he arrives).

We had our 5month check up this past week, and everything seems great! I have gained a whopping total of 13lbs so far - the Dr says I'm right on track to gain 25 maybe 30 lbs during the pregnancy, but to me it feels like a lot. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my bump and I wouldn't trade it, but I thought in the beginning I would be a little more accepting of the changes my body is going through, but some days I really do feel like fat cow and I look at all the skinny non-preggo women and I'm envious of their trim waistlines. Oh well, enough pitty party for me! I have to go for my glucose test and my Rhogam shot in 3 weeks - BOO! On the upside, I scheduled the 3D ultrasound for the same day... so while I wait the hour for the orange sludge to work it's way through my system we get to see what our little guy looks like. I can't wait to see his sweet face, and I find my self imagining what he's going to look like.

My belly continues to grow and everyone knows without a doubt that there is a baby growing in my tummy now! He is starting to get really active now and it seems like he's waking up more frequently now. The kicks are getting so strong that I can see even the smallest movements from outside my stomach. A couple of nights ago he was kicking me while I was laying down reading in bed and I pulled back the covers to see my stomach lurching from one side to the other - it was so strange looking and I just sat there and laughed!