I'm a 20 year old single prego. I've moved to Gainesville, FL from Washington, DC. I don't recommend moving here. Ever. I'm going to move back up north once the baby is born. I'm ready to not be pregnant and for my little girl to get here!

February 22, 2008

I find out the sex in a week! I can't wait...I keep having dreams it's going to be a girl and I even already bought an outfit for a girl because it was just too cute not to (not to mention on sale haha). I have decided to move back to DC after the baby is born. I am working full time (40 hrs a week) right now and I have an interview today at the Motherhood Maternity store in the mall! Hopefully I get it! I just want to save up as much money as I possibly can until the baby's born.

I've been reading alot about birth and parenting and I'm getting really nervous. Not as much about the birth, but AFTER. And daycare. My eyes well up with tears when I think about having to put my baby in daycare. It's really stressful. I wish I didn't have to work after the baby is born so I could spend all of my time with him/her. This would be easier if I wasn't 20 and if I had someone else's help. Unfortunatly, that's not possible so I will have to figure it out on my own.

February 29, 2008

I'M HAVING A GIRL!!! I'm so excited! Let's just hope that I don't get a bunch of girl stuff and it comes out with a penis hahaha =)

April 2, 2008

I am sick, irritable, and ready to not be pregnant anymore. I'm ready for her to get here already. I had opened up a bank account for Junior's (that's what we are all calling her until we figure out a name haha) father to put money into like he SAID he would and it's been over 2 weeks and not a penny. I was trying to be civil with him, and I wasn't going to take this to the child support division agency but SCREW THAT he will be giving me every dime possible. I closed the account and told him that I couldn't afford to hope he was going to do the right thing. I have to pay over $1500 for school in 2 weeks, and hopefully in the January my financial aid will go through and I won't have to pay anymore. I can't eat at Chili's anymore, because everytime I eat there I'm up half the night throwing up. And now I have a cold. And I keep getting bigger. I swear to God there has to be more than one kid in there judging by how hungry I am all the time.

April 21, 2008

27 weeks! Oh man I can't wait. I'm so over pregnancy right now it's not even funny. I closed the bank account that I opened for her father to put money into. I did however ask him to help me buy a stroller because he said that he would in the beginning. One of my friends are really getting on my nerves about the child support thing. She says, even though she HAS NO KIDS, that I should just try to get by on my own without his help. Are you kidding me?! It's my RIGHT as a parent and his DUTY as her FATHER to pay child support. My mom is going to talk to him since I end up getting so stressed out when I talk to him. She is going to tell him that he needs to start sending money July 1. Her plan is to make him THINK we aren't going to the division of child support or whatever it is until after we get the birth certificate, and then I'm taking his ass to them. $500 a month is what she is going to tell him he needs to send, even though I'm pretty sure they will make him pay more than that, seeing as he makes alot of money. Does anyone know how that works? Everyone tells me something different but the more common response is that they take out about 50-70% of his paycheck and they keep in mind all of mine and the baby's expenses. Is that right? I mean, how hard is it for him to just do the right thing and take care of his daughter? HE is the one who kept buying an underaged girl, 2 years out of high school, alcohol at a bar. What did he think was going to happen? Sure, I'm as much to blame. BUT I'm not ALL to blame for this. I'm happy to have this new life growing inside of me, but it's going to take a lot of work, especially for a 20 year old who is in the middle of finishing college. He NEEDS to step up, I don't care what anyone says.

April 30, 2008

Week 28, almost to 29! I went to the doctor this past Friday and I had gained 4 pounds. I freaked OUT about it at first, but then I just decided that I'm doing EVERYTHING possible NOT to gain weight, including never really ever giving in to any temptation with food cravings I have, and I have them alot haha and I go to the gym LITERALLY every single day. I usually see 2 nurses, and one of them is a real biotch haha she was like, "Well we'll just say those 4 extra pounds is muscle you've gained teehee" I SERIOUSLY almost slapped the shit out of her. I mean, seriously. Shut up. I don't even think she's a real nurse, my mom's a nurse and she answers all of my questions for me because everytime I ask the bitch at the doctor, she never knows what the hell is going on. And then my doctor came in and started telling me the foods I need to start choosing to eat. UHH She tells me the same shit everytime I'm in there. I'm not stupid, I'm doing what she's telling me to and I eat the right foods, I just KEEP GAINING WEIGHT! UGH!

Ohhh well but I've decided I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing because I mean, it's EXACTLY what the doctor is telling me to do, it's just not helping. I have about 11 weeks left till my due date (fingers crossed I'm not overdue because I will have a shit fit, not kidding) and my mom says that since I do workout everyday and I'm not eating crappy food, that I will take the weight off real fast. I'm just not going to stress it anymore. And my mom said something about my blood pressure being too high? Its 120 over 80 and bitch nurse said it was normal but my mom said it's a little high so I might be retaining water. Let's hope that's the reason I'm gaining weight and it's not just fat! hahaha

My baby shower is May 10th! I'm so excited because I'm flying back home for a week for it! I'm a little nervous about flying because I know it's a little risky to fly during your 3rd trimester but hey, I need to see my friends and family. I'm basically ALONE here other than my grandparents who are letting me stay with them, but they're getting a little irritating, not gonna lie.

June 4, 2008

Week 33, 5 days: I'm ready. haha I went to the doctor on May 22, She basically told me that if I gain anymore weight I'll be at risk for having a C-section. Ok. When I look in the mirror, I don't see FAT. I've gained 37 pounds. I see PREGNANT. I'm not big anywhere but my belly, but my belly is HUGE. But once again, it's rock hard because there is A BABY IN THERE. Now, I've hardly been eating, and I do an hour of cardio (5 miles) on the eliptical for 35 minutes and 25 on the treadmill. I know it's not good that I haven't been eating very much, but honestly I haven't been hungry. And I get full very quickly. When I went in, they weighed me, made me very upset because they were so insensitive, and then took my BP. OF COURSE it was going to be high! I was upset! So they sent me down to the maternity ward and I was hooked up to monitors for about 2 hours, and the nurse said, "Did your doctor or nurse upset you before taking your BP? Because your BP is PERFECT now." I don't like my nurse, as I've mentioned several times before haha and my doctor is like a broken record, basically telling me she doesn't believe me that I'm not downing 6 gallons of ice cream a day. UGH Anyways, I'm more than ready to have this baby, I'll be 34 weeks on Friday so HOPEFULLY at 37 weeks I'll have the little one haha because that's when she would be considered full term. I'm very uncomfortable, tired, overwhelmed, and not sure I'm ready to be a mom yet though...But I'm sure I'll be fine once she gets here! I've been attending my childbirth classes and I love my teacher haha she's hilarious. She has calmed my nerves on the whole giving birth situation.

I'm just so preoccupied with my weight and everything that I feel like it's taking away from an experience that is suppose to be amazing.