April 2nd 2008

Hi all, not sure if any of my old friends will still see this but just a quick note to say Millie is doing really well. She's nearly 6 months old, onto solids (just) fully formula fed now, and a real livewire. I still experience all sorts of highs and little lows as she has grumpy days and good ones, but mainly she's so cute and funny and I love to hear her laugh!! Good luck to you all. (photos on my photobook!)

Jen

19 October 2007

Millie Isabella! 8 pounds 13, 52 cm long, 10 days overdue and healthy!

My Birth Story!

Millie was bornon Oct 15th at 7.54am (Monday morning). I was 10 days overdue and fretting she would have to be induced when during Sunday lunch I felt more mild contractions, each one 15 mins apart. I didnt want to get my hopes up but this time was for real! They were getting closer by the hour and by 6.30 I knew I was in the early stages. I was hoping for a water birth but found that I could only cope with the pain by standing under a shower. Of course that took its toll and by 9.30pm I was tiring but just coping. We told the midwife who said prob early morning she'd see us as these things take time. I was gutted!! By midnight I was in serious pain and contractions were every 3 mins for 45 seconds plus. By 2am I said to Dave we have to call and wake her, I cant hold on anymore. I was in serious pain, but more than that just tired from the standing! We called the midwife and she said meet you there. My big worry all the way through was that I'd not be able to handle the contractions in the car, however they basically stopped! I was pretty much fine all the way into the room. They hooked me up and I was only 3cm dilated but the contractions were strongish and every 2 mins! They gave me hormones to intensify the contractions and I asked for an epi as I was exhausted and needed a break. The epi was fine and not scary but left a 'hole' of sensation in the right hand side of my abdomen which meant I could feel everything there. So I was sucking gas and air too, which I quite liked, in a weird way. I went from 3 to 9cm dilated in one hour after the hormones, and had to start pushing at 6am. I had no idea it would be like that, they'd turned the epi off so I had sensation, and I pushed with everything I had but got nowhere. I felt like a failure really - I'd assumed I'd be good at that bit. I had to push through contractions but was so shocked by the feeling of her in the birth canal, the intense pressure and pain that sometimes I'd panic and not push and then boy oh boy would I suffer! It turned out her hand was beside her face and she got stuck halfway down,but we didnt know that then. Her heartbeat was strong thank God, but I was totally wiped. Suddenly I managed to move her a bit and soon I felt her crown. It gave me the incentive to push with new reserves harder than I thought I could. I did feel the burning as she stretched me which was the icing on the cake ;-) SO I felt very sorry for myself! I was trying to hold her there for a cut to relieve the pressure but then I couldnt and with one almighty push she slithered out in a gush, taking everyone by surprise. The midwife smiled, looked at the clock and said 7.54am!! I started a kind of keening I suppose you could call it, like a weird crying which I couldnt stop for an hour or so! David had a tear or two in his eyes too. They put her on me but her cord was short so only on my tummy, then I delievered the placenta very easily and she could finally move to my chest. She cried ALOT which was great, then they did the tests. 8 pounds 13 or 3995 g, 52 cm long and healthy as could be. She looked kind of funny, with the puffy eyes. What a relief to be done! I needed vaginal and perenial stiches which was ok, I didnt care by then!. I finally gave her to her Dad (after all our phone calls and texts) and had a shower. I couldnt believe the blood which comes out, and how weak I was. That breakfast the midwife then bought me was the sweetest food I ever ate! After another hour or two we were moved into our room. Unfortunately it was shared with a VERY noisy mother/baby and her extended family. It was the saddest part really, trying to bond and feed and sleep with all the tension in the air. but the hospital midwives were awesome and I liked them all. Millie wouldnt feed as I have shortish nipples and she wouldnt latch. So I had to express milk manually and by machine which was exhausting as then I had to try and latch each feed too, plus feed manually! They really recommended co sleeping to help the bonding and establish milk, and I loved that. I was nervous I might squash her, but never came close to doing that, and sleeping with her was the most beautiful thing ever. SHe nestled up to me, face to my breasts, feet to my tummy and sometimes her head on my breast or upper arm, and we slept like that each night for the 3 nights we were there. I couldnt quite believe she was mine, I felt like I was borrowing her! By the morning of Thursday we had some sort of breakthrough as she would finally feed from me with the help of a nipple shield. I didnt realise then how hard it would be to wean her off them though! She wont go near the nipple without one now, so I need to keep trying to wean her over the next few days. We also had to wean her onto her own bassinette, which we have now done really successfuly. She is a total dreamboat, feeds for a long time each time which is tiring, but then sleeps long too, In fact last night I fed her at 9.30, 3.30 and 6.30. WHat a lovely schedule for a newborn! My only fears right now are the nipple shield and that fact her dad goes back to work in two days, so the night feeds I'll be alone, and even though I do most of the work, its nice to know he's there to burp and change her for me. But his folks arrive in an hour and I'll have alot of support during the day which is great. So thats my tale! I swore never again at the time, but now I think...'well maybe I could!'...

3 September 2007

hi everyone. Here are some pics I had processed over the weekend.

me in the nursery with the bassinette and monkey...

the bump at about 34 weeks...

getting prepared!

David on the spare bed holding Coco against her will (and the monkey rattle)

27 August 2007

40 days to go! WOOHOO (give or take ;-)). So far so good health wise. I am feeling much more cumbersome now, hauling myself out of bed for the thrice nightly wee is getting harder! I spend an hour a day in the bath which really helps. I must say my admiration for mums who have children already and are pregnant again is enormous! I am so lucky to be able to be so 'selfish' and focus on the baby and myself, plus of course the hubby and Coco! (mainly in that order hehe)

As mentioned on the forum I have found it harder lately to keep happy all the time, even though I know I've got nothing to be sad about. Little comments and glimpses of myself looking like a giant waddling creature bring me down. I dont like to think of myself as vain though! I mean I know its pregnancy, and this is what happens. I should just get over myself I guess. I'm STILL working on the bee animation, and need to crack on to make sure I finish in time.

We had our 'practical' anti natal this weekend, learning how to burp and change a baby, and a new mum bought her adorable 5 week old son in and bathed and changed him for us. I must say I had tears in my eyes a fair bit! I cant wait to meet my girl.

Last week I bought her a couple of little dresses from Pumkin Patch which has suddenly gotten SO cute. A red ginham one for Christmas and a white smocking dress over red and white striped leggings. We're being sent alot of hand me downs so trying to take it easy, but man, this stuff is too cute to resist. I will post the pics here.

Lots of love to all of you, keep your heads held high. We're all doing an incredible job at what must be the single most important thing we as humans can do. Enjoy the relative peace before your little bundle arrives, and when you feel sad go and look at a few baby clothes in their drawer! Too cute x

this is not my baby ;-)

27 July 2007

So we got some news today at our 30 week scan! We're having a girl! I think she looks peaceful here...

25 July 2007

the bump this week (29 weeks)