Keira Elizabeth Rowland

Born at Home on Friday night, January 4^th, 11:18pm

9lbs 12 oz

Here’s my birth story and all the stuff leading up to it!!! (I included the lead-in, since I personally didn’t really know what might happen leading up to labor and would have liked to read someone’s birth story that included the boring details of it all….)

NOTE: I know this is very, very long. If you want to read JUST the birth story, scroll down to ‘birth story’!

My due date of December 28^th had come and gone, but I knew it wouldn’t be long…Keira was born exactly a week past her due date. Here are some things that led up to the birth…

PRE-LABOR

Weds. January 2^nd After the baby ‘dropped’ on Christmas Eve, there was nothing too important to report until over a week later, and five days past my due date. I was cleaning up after breakfast and squoosh. A little bit, but very noticeable amount of watery discharge leaked out. No, my waters hadn’t broken, but the water was tinged with brownish blood. Fun! After the second bit came out a few hours later, I was excited enough to call my midwives and let them know of my progress. They told me it was wonderful news, and indicated changes in my cervix, and to keep them informed of anything else new. I decided NOT to call my husband at work to worry him since obviously, nothing was REALLY happening yet. Of course, during all this, my mom called and I told her about my progress and she spread the word as if I was going to have the baby NOW!!! J By the time the end of the day rolled around, I had been spotting brown watery stuff several times throughout the day and I decided to call my husband with a grocery list…….we had made a ‘what to do when I go into labor’ “fire drill” sheet, and since of course we were planning a homebirth, the first thing on the list for ‘early labor’ was for him to stock up on groceries. I AM VERY VERY HAPPY THAT WE GOT GROCERIES ON WEDS…because if we would have waited until I was ‘really’ going into labor, that NEVER would have happened. I always heard that no two labors are the same, and that is very very much the truth….read on!!!

Thurs. Morning, January 3^rd 4:30am. I wake up to contractions. Yes! This has GOT to be the real thing. These Braxton-Hicks have a real bite to them. Not terribly painful, but I am breathing deeply through them. But they’re very, very far apart. 30-45 minutes. Each contraction lasts for maybe 30 seconds or so. I tell my husband he should probably go ahead and go to work since they’re so far apart…and everything I’ve read about labor says there’s a LONG first stage of light contractions…(as long as he will be working nearby and can come home quickly if he needs to!!!) He goes to work, I go back to sleep, since I’ve also read that if you think you’re in early labor, you should get plenty of sleep to rest up for the real labor later.

I slept until 1:00 that afternoon, each contraction waking me up…I wrote them all down to keep track. No closer together, no stronger. And they stopped coming by the early afternoon. I had wasted my entire day in bed almost!!! My husband came home from work early that day, and brought home take-out Chinese. We all know the stories about Chinese food and pregnant women, huh??? J

6pm: Contractions start again. Not painful, but very noticeable. And quite regular. Every 10 minutes apart, each one about 30-45 seconds or so. Should I call the midwives? Naaaaah. Not yet! The contractions seemed to strengthen a bit around 9pm, but again, they spread out and grew lighter as the night progressed. Since I had slept all day, I couldn’t get to sleep, so I took a sleeping bag outside at midnight and sat in the crispy cold pitch blackness checking out the stars and the shooting stars. While out there, I had a couple of pretty strong contractions, but thought that might be because of the weird way I was sitting. I finally got tired and went to bed around 3am.

BIRTH STORY…

Friday, January 4^th, 4:00am…Contractions woke me up again. Strongest ones yet. My husband nearly jumped out of bed when he was awakened by my heavy breathing. We timed them. 10 minutes apart. 45 seconds each. We stayed up awhile timing them. By 4:30, they were coming every 5 minutes at a minute each. OMG. This is happening TOO FAST. We called the midwives. Emily was cheerful, even at 4 in the morning. Said it was ‘exciting’ and to be sure to call her right away if I ‘went inside myself’ or if the contractions grew stronger. In the meantime, she said if she hadn’t heard anything else from us, she’d check in by 9am. The contractions stayed at about the same frequency and strength until Emily called us back at 8:30. Nope, nothing new to report, still happening, but not getting stronger….She said she’d call back at 11am if she still hadn’t heard anything from us, but in the meantime, she wanted me to be sure to eat something to get my strength up.

9:00 am Out of nowhere, the contractions are suddenly coming 2 and 3 minutes apart, and are lasting for 1:15 seconds to 1:45 seconds. The peanut butter and jelly I made goes completely uneaten. Who in the world can eat during labor? I always thought it sounded like a good idea. It still sounds like a good idea, but completely impossible to actually do. After timing these new contractions for a half an hour, my husband calls the midwives again, a bit worried. We both think we might be delivering this baby by ourselves, as the midwives are 45 minutes away, even without them having to gather their supplies & etc. I am a little disappointed thinking there’s no way we’re going to have time to fill the birth pool before this baby comes. My husband is pacing the house between the hose filling the birth pool and coming into the bedroom to check on me where I’m kneeling on the floor leaning over the bed. I’m calling all my friends and family between contractions… “Hello? It’s me…I’m in labor, it’s the real thing, I’m sure. It’s going to be today….2 minutes apart…here comes another one….gotta go…BYE!!!” The contractions are very, very strong and take quite a bit to get through them, but I’m in good spirits. I’m going to have a quick labor, just like my mom did ! (hahahahahahahahaaaaa…yeh riiiiiiiiiight!!!)

10:45am Still in labor! Midwife #1 shows up, sets up her stuff. She watches me thru several contractions. I’m not really paying much attention to what she’s doing. She later said that she thought for sure the baby would be here by early afternoon. So wise of her not to say so then, but only after the fact!! J Of course, I decided that my mental state was what kept me from having the baby sooner…even after 9 months of thinking about it, I still really really wasn’t ready to actually have a baby…Ladies, check the way you REALLY feel about being pregnant and having a baby. I think that was a HUGE thing for me. Maybe a reason so many women fail to progress in labor and end up with C-Sections or supplements to speed up labor??? Dunno….But I am very resistant to change, esp. change on such a large scale….back to the story.

Contractions continue….Midwife #2 arrives sometime after noon I think. Not sure of the time, as I didn’t want to look at ANY clocks, just wanted to get thru each contraction. I couldn’t have done it without my husband. He was there to support me…and I mean physically support me in every contraction in whatever odd position I wanted to hang from him in. We had promised everyone we’d give them updates as things progressed. How wrong we were to assume that things would progress nicely from light labor to hard labor. I was in hard labor all day and wouldn’t let my husband get away for a moment! I had 15-10 seconds tops between contractions to relax and there’s no calling anyone in that amount of time. If we ever do this again (hahahahha!!!!) I would have a list of a few names for the midwives to call with periodic updates instead of thinking my husband would be able to do it. I NEEDED HIM WITH ME AT ALL TIMES….HE WAS THE BEST DOULA A GIRL COULD EVER EVER EVER HAVE HOPED FOR!!!!

2:00pm??? Birth pool had been ready, and I was ready for some relief. The wrap I had been wearing came off, and I was buck naked the rest of the day! Ha! One thing I learned about labor…there’s no such thing as modesty---and you really don’t give a damn anyway when you’re in the midst of it! I never had so many people so close to my bum for so long in my life, and I really didn’t care one bit. Anyway, back to the pool……it was WONDERFUL. Contractions were still strong, but seemed easier to bear. I highly recommend the ‘la bassine’ birth pool---just the right size, big enough to float in…strong enough to withstand leaning against the sides and bracing yourself on the handles inside for contractions. Not too deep that you can’t step in or out of it in throes of labor without killing your waddling pregnant self! But after several hours in there, it became apparent that for me, this time, a water birth was probably not going to happen. I guess I associate warm water too much with relaxation, and I wasn’t getting anything done while in there. I wasn’t working, I was relaxing. I was ignoring the contractions instead of letting them take me where they needed to take me….Labor hadn’t stopped or slowed, but it didn’t get stronger either. It was with a bit of disappointment that I followed the midwives suggestion that I try to labor outside the pool for awhile. (Oh….while in the pool I finally lost my mucus plug! What a lovely sight THAT thing is!)

Meanwhile, I’m trying to ignore the clock, trying to ignore the fact that I thought I’d have this baby by the afternoon, and now, the sun was setting. How depressing to see the windows grow dark as the evening fell. And the contractions were still coming hot & heavy!!!!

Throughout labor, we tried lots of different things……..bellydancing. Leaning over the bed. Hanging from the window sill. Hanging from my husband (good thing he’s strong!!!!) ‘Horse lips’ to blow out with each contraction. I tried making low open sounds…and MAN what crazy sounds were coming out of me. Again, the whole modesty thing? Completely thrown out the window. The whole time, the midwives were quietly in the background observing---my husband and I were such a good team, they said, that they thought it would be best to let us do this thing together with little interference. Of course they were there to make suggestions of position changes or whatever to help things along, and they were there for moral support, and even gave me a nice massage at one point to give my husband a bit of a break I suppose! And after some particularly frightening noises came out of me, they were there to say “Good Job, Niki!!! Very good work!” So funny in retrospect. They were constantly giving me water with vitamins and stuff in it to keep my energy up…..yum! A few times, I felt near panic, thinking I’d never get this baby out of me, but they were always there smiling and telling me what a great job I was doing and that everything was progressing nicely. Such good support!!! I really have no concept of time or what was really happening that evening, but when I found my way to the bathroom to throw up, I consciously thought…this is it…I’ve read about ‘transition’ and this is it…I’m really going to have this baby soon now! I actually looked at the time then. A little after 7pm. So I suppose I was in transition for 4 hours, huh? J

Sortof pushy contractions started not long after that…..but I was getting nowhere fast. The midwives checked my dilation then……..OMG, I was still at a 6….WTF???? I tried not to panic. Emily kept her fingers in there for a few contractions and helped me stretch past an 8. OUCH…but in a weird way, it actually felt good. Still feeling pushy (but not the “real” pushing contractions as I was to find out soon. Still not getting anything done. They suggested I lay down on my side through a few contractions and I remember being very angry about that, thinking they were nuts, considering saying a few choice words to them about how I felt about laying down…. It hurt horribly to lay down during contractions, moving was the only thing that felt good. But again, I think it was my own mental block that kept me from opening up like I needed to to get this baby out. I was skirting around the pain, tiptoeing on the fringes of it thru each contraction instead of really riding it and letting it take me where I needed to go. Laying down actually helped. I hated every minute of it, but it really helped. And again, my husband helped coach me thru it all---between the wrenching contractions, he’d tell me to ‘go to sleep until the next one came’ and in that weird place of no pain at all that exists between contractions (what a trip that is!!! Complete blissful rest for 15 seconds!!!) I was getting rested up. In the back of my mind, I was worried that I was getting too tired to be able to deliver this baby and I was worried about having to go to the hospital to get it done. Strangely enough, it never occurred to me to want to go to the hospital for pain relief….I did want to get it over with……but wanted to do it on my own at my own house!!!

One of the midwives at one point held a warm cloth to my bottom----yes over my ASS……and told me I should be pushing toward the cloth. Well, slap me over the head with a 2 x 4……….so I had always heard that having a baby was like pushing a bowling ball out your ass, but thought that was a ‘ha-ha’ funny thing to say. No, it’s completely utterly true, it’s literally what you are doing. I had no freaking idea that I should be feeling like I was shitting. OK. I told you all modesty is out the door, it’s true. If someone had told me this sooner as something other than a quaint story, I may have had the kid much sooner!!! I don’t fault anyone for this, just had no earthly idea!!!! I thought you’d feel it ‘in the middle’……….but no, you quite literally feel like you’re shitting out a baby. Don’t resist it, and yes, you will probably poop on yourself. This will sound really gross to you just sitting here eating popcorn at work between phone calls and reading this under no physical stress whatsoever. But it’s true, and when you’re in labor, all modesty is gone! But who cares. Get that baby OUT!!!! J

So finally, we make it back into the bathroom for some warm water relief from the shower after some really really good pushing contractions in the dark on my bed. I had a very hard time walking since quite literally by then, there was a big head descending thru my birth canal. Ever tried to walk with sand in your pants at the beach? Imagine that, but with lots of pain thrown in on top of the mix. J

It was here that things really started to happen, and fast. I was quite literally hanging from my husband thru contractions, he was holding me off the floor while I stretched on him, my back to him while he supported me from behind. I ended up in the tub. A birth stool appeared beneath my bum and I rested there between contractions, though it didn’t feel too good since there was still that sand in the pants feeling. I hung from my husband for another good pushing contraction. Emily told me to stay lower for the next ones…..because, guess what? She could see the head. She held a mirror down there for us to see. I told her that was great, but didn’t want to see anymore……..ahhhhhhh! Here comes another contraction. I was so excited I was actually going to get this done! I was going to do it!!!!!!! At this point, I’d been in hard labor so long I didn’t give a flying f*@# if I tore with the delivery of the head, I just wanted it OUT!!! Another contraction and the head crowned……I was told to wait and I’m pretty sure I did wait thru another one……waiting for the perineum to stretch…….things are blurred…….another contraction and wooo! The stinging, but I didn’t really care at all…and the head was OUT…..OMG………between contractions I could feel the baby shift and roll inside me…what a crazy feeling…….and another contraction and the rest of the body came out smoothly and quickly. And I was holding a baby…….a living creature that was looking at me and my husband and the midwives with curiosity before the baby split into a wail of WTF have you just done to me????????? J So much for the peaceful water birth…but it was all good…..I tore a little bit so it was good for them to judge the amount of blood loss…and I just sat there holding this baby not sure what to do while it cried and kept looking around the room. My 5’ X 5’ bathroom now had 5 people in it. Me, my husband, the two midwives…and a baby. OMG. The pain was completely gone, just like that. The baby’s head was perfectly round (I had only actually been pushing effectively for a very short while) she was completely pink, and completely beautiful from the moment I saw her. Her umbilical cord was short and between her legs, so we couldn’t tell what sex she was right away. I felt with the hand that was holding her bum and was pretty sure……..it’s……a……..GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After protesting her delivery, she immediately latched on to my breast while the midwives hurried to dry her off and wrap her up while still in my arms so she’d stay warm….all this before the placenta was ‘born’. Light contractions returned and very quickly, I delivered a blood clot first….not too good, but all turned out well……and then the placenta, and then the contractions were done. Again, being in the tub was very helpful to judge blood loss. Everything was fine…….and after the placenta came out, (Maybe 10 minutes after the birth) we wrapped it up next to the baby and I’m not sure if I walked or was carried to the bedroom……….

So that’s about it. There’s more to it of course, but I’ve already written a novel. I’m just adding things that I thought had been left out of other birth stories……..those questions I still found myself asking after reading other stories. The nitty gritty dirty parts of labor. It’s amazing, it’s the craziest trip you’ll ever be on….it’s an awesome force of nature that I am so happy I was able to experience completely aware of its subtleties and not-so-subtleties……..and then you end up with a child….a combination of you and your husband or whoever……that little creature that’s been kicking inside all these months is finally out, and is actually making eye contact with you. What a total crazy trip it all is. I am so fortunate to have such a beautiful daughter now and I am looking forward to every moment with her watching her grow up in to the beautiful woman I know she will be…..she’s gorgeous! She’s perfect! And every one of your children you give birth to will be just as perfect in your eyes!!!! Best of luck to all of you, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I’m not online as much as I was while I was waiting to go into labor (go figure) but I’ll write back when I can!

Love, Niki

DECEMBER 29th, 2007 40 weeks, one day!

Well, I made it thru the holidays without going into labor at any family events. HA! I'm actually quite relieved about it. And in a weird way, I'm happy that no one's predictions on my due date have been correct. (Everyone's guesses were for early, now we're in uncharted territory...except I've always said I'd REALLY like to have a kid on New Year's Eve. But we'll see about that..I'm not taking that prediction to the bank!!) Now, the distant family has all returned to their homes and I'm not worried about being inundated with visitors right after the birth. I guess I'm weird or something, I just like the feeling of privacy that is creeping back into my life, I don't feel 'on display' anymore! Anyway, that said, I HAVE had a LOT of changes in the past week...so here's my report!

Christmas Eve morning, I woke up with period-like cramps. I thought...uh-oh...is this it???? Especially with the Full Moon and all that good stuff....but nope, turns out, when I roll out of bed, the baby has DROPPED in a big way. My nice round little stomach is now sagging in a weird watermelon way. Hahahaha. And MAN! That belly ring that I held onto this entire 40 week trip....it just HAD to go. The sudden shift in the baby put some serious pressure on it, and when I went to check it out to find out why it felt so horrible, I realized I couldn't even see my belly button anymore. That's just how much my stomach shifted. So weird. So I took out the ring, and realized that OVERNIGHT........I've now got a TON of stretch marks at the bottom of my tummy. So weird that they can happen so quickly!!! And I thought I was doing so well! Oh well! They don't look bad though, just kinda silvery. My husband is a good sport...when I pointed them out to him in horror, he just shrugged his shoulders & said "No big deal, What do you expect? Your belly is like 7 times it's normal size...." So practical, he is.

Anyway. More crampiness, but very very mild. And my hips and back are popping and cracking like chestnuts over an open fire. hahaha. Since the baby dropped, I'm having a bit more trouble getting around and *gasp* caught myself WOBBLING while walking today. Eeek. But it sure is fun telling people when they ask that I'm due today. Eyes pop out in utter fear and horror. I'm sure it will be more fun to tell them I'm PAST due..........evil grin......

Best to all of you still hanging on out there, and congratulations to the others who have had their babies and made the bold step into motherhood! I'm right behind you!

Niki

Oct. 9th, 2007 28 weeks, 4 days

So I log in to my home page and find that there's a chunk of stuff missing. Where did it go???????? Kindof depressing. So much for keeping an online journal.

Everything's going well though. I am a bit down about bills. I guess who wouldn't be. I suppose it's venting time. I don't have insurance (I've had it my entire life EXCEPT for once I got pregnant, and have only paid one visit to a Dr. in the past five years for severe poison ivy. How convenient) and since I've been pregnant, I've seen OB/GYN's, midwives, a chiropractor, a dermatologist and a plastic surgeon. WTF? I don't qualify for Medicaid since we make JUST enough money to be out of that 'bracket' but of course, every house payment for the past few months has been late, not to mention the other basics like electric, telephone & car payments. So I'm getting a little worried, esp. since I will not be able to work at all right after the baby arrives. After signing a contract with the 'free clinic' for $120 payments each visit, I now find out that I'm getting bills from the local hospital for 'lab fees'. These are fees for URINE TESTS that are over $600 each. WTF??????????? If I had been informed completely, I would have absolutely refused the urine tests. Of course, everything has checked out fine. No, I'm not taking the glucose test and no, I'm NOT taking any other tests unless I'm at death's door. So ridiculous that these fees are outside the signed 'agreement' for $120. Of course, in the fine print, I discovered that it says I'm liable for any fees incurred outside the clinic....but was I informed that they had to send my pee somewhere else to test it????? And for $600 a pop?

So I'm relieved that I stopped care with them after the first three months. In other words, I should be liable for no more than $1800 in pee tests.....I'm just worried now that there's some hidden fee for the freaking ultrasound I had.

So the chiropractor fees, I can handle. And I really feel like I'm getting something out of it. But who would have imagined that I would have to see a dermatologist for a spot on my face (A vascular hemangioma, aka Strawberry birthmark) that started to grow out of control--turns out from the pregnancy hormones. And the dermatologist couldn't remove it, since he wouldn't leave a 'nice' scar, so I was sent to a plastic surgeon. All in all, that was a good experience (but I have still got stitches on my face! What a cute preggo chick I make!) but still.......yet another doctor bill to contend with. I'm getting scared about $$$. I don't make much to start with, and things are looking scary once I'm completely out of work. :(

August 7th, 2007

I'm going in for my ultrasound next Weds, but I'm a bit ambivalent about whether I want to know the sex or not. Almost like looking forward to Xmas, but not wanting all the presents to be unwrapped because it will be all over....Am I just weird???? Before getting pregnant, I always thought I'd want it to be a surprise, and I'm still leaning in that direction....I'm kinda hoping the baby will be hiding behind the cord...99% of you seem to really want to know...anyone else feel like this??? :0

OOOH! More cool news! My baby is REALLY kicking.....big time. All day it seems. And I actually felt it with my HAND this morning!!!

August 16th, 2007 20 weeks 6 days. So the ultrasound was yesterday! So weird to see the little one inside jumping around--and to feel it on the outside at the same time. I was brave and didn't find out the sex...but the technician called it a 'he' a couple of times later on in the scan. I'm a bit concerned about that possible slip-up. Could they really tell with all that movement going on, crossed legs and wiggling??? Oh well. I guess I'll find out in 20 more weeks, eh? Was VERY funny to see the feet pushed up against the side--they are my husband's BIG feet with long 'gollum' toes. HAHAHAHA. I suppose that wouldn't be too lovely on a girl, huh? ;) My mom is ecstatic to have her first baby picture to hang on the fridge. Even though it looks a bit like a freaky Halloween skull. The doctor said that the pregnancy is progressing perfectly, and everything looks top notch. Scan tech said she'd age the fetus at 20 weeks 2 days, but wasn't going to bother changing the due date.

August 6th, 2007 19 weeks 3 days

Well, I suppose its safe to say that I'm feeling the kicks now! I've suspected it for a couple of weeks now--late one night two weeks ago, I thought I felt #something# and then, a week later.....#something#.......and a few days ago ........#something# ....the night before last....last night............and right now at this very moment, I'm definitely feeling SOMETHING. OK. I guess I'm hard headed. I'm finally feeling KICKS!......flutters.....tapping.......whatever. So weird. So cool.

Oh, another good thing is, I called the Doctor's, a bit concerned about my quadruple screen since it was over three weeks ago. They said that if I hadn't heard anything, everything's OK. They only call if the numbers look troubling.................

August 2nd, 2007 18 weeks 6 days

Wow! What a difference maternity clothes make! I have self esteem again. I have had the odd occurence of actually needing new clothes because my old clothes were LOOSE on me. Long story short, I accepted a job promotion last year that encouraged late hours and being sedentary, and I all but stopped exercising. And it sure doesn't take long to fall into bad habits.... Well, as soon as I found out I was pregnant (and was not too sick or tired to go out & exercise) I got SERIOUS about being healthy for this kid, and for myself and have been walking every day either before or after work. (I live on the side of a mountain, so I'm sure that helps) What a difference just a simple walk does for your body. No special equipment necessary! So now, instead of wearing dumpy clothes that are now two sizes too big, I've got sexy new maternity clothes that fit nicely and I'm looking good and feeling strong! Yeah, I know, that's completely opposite of the way it's supposed to be. I just have low motivation on my own I suppose, so it took something outside of myself...uhhh.......INSIDE myself (the responsibility for another LIFE)......to get my act together. Feeling good!

I think I'll go on a walkabout.......and find out......what it's all about.......

Just me & my own two feet.....in the heat, I've got myself to meet!

(Chili peppers)

JULY 23rd, 2007 17 weeks, 4 days

Everything's going well, the sickness from the first trimester seems to be completely gone. Two weeks ago, it was as if someone switched the 'off' button for the nausea and extreme fatigue. I didn't want to speak TOO soon though...:) Although I can easily tell I'm pregnant (something's going on in there!!!) I'm still not really showing. Well, unless I put on a swimsuit. That's another matter! This past Saturday, I had a surprise....my left boob was hurting....I checked it out....a quick squeeze of the nipple, and little drops of FLUID beaded up. OMG. I REALLY AM PREGNANT. I'm getting ready to LACTATE.......Gah!!! muhahahahah. So bizarre. Somehow, this weird little occurence has really brought it home for me....I really am pregnant.

I haven't felt any kicks or flutters or tapping or anything yet, but am not too concerned. I mentioned it to my mom and she said that me & my brother didn't move around very much throughout her entire pregnancies with us. However, she did say that my foot was lodged in her lung for about two months and I just wouldn't budge. Ha! Sorry, Mom.