12/20/07

Audrey will be three weeks old on Saturday..I can't believe how fast the time flies! Things are going pretty well...she does seem to be getting her routines started...I don't quite care for it but it'll do. She wakes up around 4:30am usually and eats and just wants to hang out for a while. She's ready to go back down around 8am. She'll wake up again around 10am and be up until 3pm. Then she takes her afternoon nap and sleeps til around 6pm. This is when it gets crazy. She wakes up around 6pm and stays up until at least 11:30 pm every night! During that big stretch she likes to graze on food the whole time. She'll eat about 7 ounces over the hours. She usually gets pretty fussy and over tired around 9pm but she fights off the sleep as best she can. Once she finally goes down she'll sometimes wake up around 1am for a quick diaper change and maybe an ounce to eat but then she's quickly back asleep to start her 4:30am schedule all over again!

Other big accomplishments she's had are that she's doing her best to hold her own bottle. She'll push it out with her hands when she's had enough. She's starting to coo and talk. She's great at making eye contact. And yesterday she grabbed my finger with hands and stuck it quickly in her mouth! She's not really one to hold onto your hand and she gets VERY angry if you tuck her hands away. She'd much rather they be freezing cold then not accessable to her.

When she starts to get real fussy what makes her the happiest is just being put down and left alone so that she can look around.

She went through about 2 1/2 weeks of colic in the evening. Nothing would calm or soothe her.

1/24/2008

My babies growning up! She's 7 weeks old already. Before I know it she'll be off to college! haha. Things have been going really well. She caught her first cold after our family christmas, she took it like a trooper. It only lasted for about 4 days for her but about 15 for me!

Audrey's settling into a new routine which I much prefer. She goes down to sleep around 11pm, wakes around 6am. She then eats, gets a diaper change, lookes around and laughs for a while and then its back to sleep around 8. Her morning nap is usually over around 11 and then she spends the rest of the day awake until her early evening nap at about 5:30. She sleeps for maybe an hour at that point. And normally during the day she adds in a few three minute cat naps after she's been fed.

I had to go see a lactation consultant on the 19th. I had yet to get her to latch on and was getting really tired of pumping. At a month and a half old Audrey's weighing in at 8lbs 14oz. She should be around 10lbs now. I've been bottle feeding the whole time so I thought this was weird that she was under weight. She was always a snacker, eating an ounce or two here and another in an hour or so. Well the problem turns out to be that she has a very high pallet in her mouth and a small tongue. Thats why she can't breastfeed properly, because she can't feel it. She also was having a hard time with the bottles I was using (Evenflo), they were tiring her out before she was full. So, I had to scrap all the bottles I'd bought and buy new. I was told to try the Dr. Brown wide mouth bottles. So, in the mean time, I'll keep pumping. She seems to be eating a little better. Where before she'd eat 1 1/2 ounces, she now its about 3. But, I'm just glad we got this figured out.

She's a very happy girl when she wakes up. She's always got smiles on her face and loves to laugh. Bath time is her favorite time, if I'd let her I think she'd sit in her little tub for hours. She's a big talker, she loves to spend the day sitting in her boppy chair talking to her mirrored sun and dragonfly. She bats at them but I don't think she realizes she's doing it yet. We spend about an hour every afternoon dancing around and me singing whatever happens to be on the radio. Its the only time she'll really let me snuggle her. For being just a little baby she's very independent. Her biggest accomplishment was on christmas morning...she rolled over while getting her diaper changed!! Sadly, I missed it and I don't think she meant to roll over, it just sorta happened.

I go back to work this weekend and I'm sad to leave her. She'll be in the care of her grandma so I know she'll be in good arms. I'm just going to miss my baby.

1/30/2008

Audrey's currently fighting off her second cold. It left her with a yucky eye infection for a few days and daily throwing up of her breakfast bottle. But she's still a very happy baby and I have no complaints. She sleeps amazingly and I'm so greatful for that. She LOVES music, I usually turn some on several times throughout the day and she just laughs and smiles.

I wish that I could say I was as happy as she is. I'm not real sure what the deal is but I'm just down in the dumps lately. I never bother to get "cute" anymore...do my hair, put on makeup, put on real clothes. I can't go anywhere because its too cold to bring Audrey outside so I sorta feel like whats the point. And I even get more depressed if I do get all put together for the day and I don't go anywhere or see anyone. I'm feeling like I'm going to be single forever and Audrey will never get to have a father figure. I'm not real sure how to get out of this slump...I just hope I can figure it out soon.

I'm also struggling with the thoughts that her father will find a way to take her from me somehow. I know its near impossible that it would happen but ofcourse I fear it. We split over a year ago now and I got pregnant on a night I of course let my smarts get impaired by too many drinks. But, I got the greatest present as a result. I used to be independent, earning great money, had my own place, confident, happy, and I felt like I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. Then I met him and his mind games and controlling ways inprisoned me before I even realized it'd happened. I quit my jobs to be there for him more, I went into debt, lost me self respect and worst of all forgot how to just be me. Its still going to take time for me to heal and I WILL NOT let him break my daughter down the same way he did me. Not a day went by that he didn't remind me that because I'm a woman I'm worthless. My daughter will never hear those words. I'll never get myself in that kind of situation again, because its not just about me anymore...its more importantly about Audrey.

2/5/08

Audrey had her 2 month check up today. Her weight is 9lbs 13oz, height is 21 3/4". Her height is in the 50%, her weight between 10% and 20%. So, I need to get some more pounds on her! Audrey received 4 shots today and 1 she had to take by mouth. She took them like a little trooper, only crying for a minute. Then she let me snuggler her in my arms(she so rarely lets me do that!) I also mentioned the lactation consultants comment about her having a high pallet so my dr checked it out. Audrey indeed has a very high pallet...she described it to a cleft pallet. Basicly, Audrey can't touch the roof of her mouth with her tongue. This could later inlife lead to migranes, TMJ, along with several other symptoms. She'll be going to get Cranrosacral Therapy 6 times to help improve her pallet. Its a noninvasive form of massage. Hopefully it helps...and also allows her to eat better! I'll keep everyone informed after her first therapy appt.

2/25/08

Audrey had her first CranioSacral Therapy appointment today. It went really well...its a little tree hugger/granola cruchy...haha. Anyway, the lady said that Audrey does have some tense points that she's having a hard time working out. Its was caused from the way she was positioned in me during pregnancy and the rest was from the stress of birth and the dr having used a suction. She recommended 6 sessions but I can already tell she's doing better. When Audrey sleeps she always cranes her neck in a really uncomfortable way and she's already not doing that. She hasn't eaten any better yet but its only been one meal.

There are a few muscle relaxation things I can do at home to help Audrey heal quicker. One of them is to hold her by her feet and let her dangle upside down (I was so scared!! ). As soon as the lady did it to Audrey she started smiling and then started chewing on her hands. It gives her back and neck a chance to relax the muscles she uses constantly and to use other ones that don't get used enough. I also have to give her LOTS of tummy time. Any strengthening done to her neck will also help her mouth.

All in all its a bit weird but anything that I can do to avoid surgery is worth a try!

Video of Audrey talking...

3/6/08

Audrey had another appt for her craniosacral therapy today and YAY, her high pallate is gone!! She's been doing amazingly well this last week. I swear she's gained like 3 lbs!! The specialist said we'll talk in a month and see how she's doing to schedule her next appt. Not a whole lot else to say, things are good with her.

4/7/08

Audrey had her 4 month check up today. She weighs 11 lbs 14 oz. 24 inches long. She's in the 50 percentile for height and 15% for weight. She's just a peanut! She got 4 shots and only screamed out of anger cause she didn't want her legs held down.

She's so much fun these days. She loves to talk. Music and dancing cracks her up. She's getting the hang of her Jumperoo and it gives me some free time too! Shes sleeping pretty well. Goes down about 10 and usually wakes around 7 to eat then back to sleep til about 10. I'm plenty fine with that! She's lost most of the hair she was born with but the new stuff is growing in with rapid pace. I can't wait to play with it! Though I'm thinking she might be a blonde....can you imagine that...me with a blonde kid. Weird. I love her to pieces.

I'm still only working around 10 hours a week and I'm still searching for a job. boo. But it does give me the luxury of being with her more. My at home hair salon is almost finished being built/remodeled. I LOVE it!! Its so convenient. Well...I think thats about all for right now.