My name's Laura and I'm 29. I've been married for 3 1/2 years and have been TTC since then.

I first became pregnant in November 2005. I was on holiday with family and just thought I had AF symptoms. I have PCOS and therefore can never predict my periods. Well, I got home from holiday and did a test on the Monday BFP! Sadly, three days later, I started to bleed and miscarried naturally. The baby was just 7 weeks.

The second time was February 2007. I had been TTC non-stop so knew nearly as soon as I fell. Unfortunately, after 7 weeks I started to bleed again and had to have a D&C.

The last time was December 2007. Again I knew almost from the beginning that I was pregnant as I had been using ovulation tests. At 11 weeks, just when we started to believe that things might be going well, I started to bleed. Back to the hospital for another D&C. They told me that the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks.

Now I think it is about time I got some help so went to see a specialist who has told me that I should be taing Aspirin daily. That is it! Can't believe it but time will tell.

Having promised myself at the beginning of this journey that I wouldn't become obsessed, feel that it has gone too long now and find myself sneakily POAS whenever possible. Very SAD I know!

Fingers crossed that my luck improves this year!

5/03/08

Came up in a rash all over my face and back. Got sent home from work because they thought I had Chicken Pox and was sick when I got home. The doctor thought it was my hormones playing up. I thought I was pregnant! Did a test BFN. Have not had a period since my D&C in January so don't know when I ovulated, if I did at all.

6/03/08

Did another test, BFN again. Two hours later, I dug it out of the bin (look what it has come to!) and it showed a faint positive. Convinced I was pregnant. Took another test BFN.

07/03/08

BFN

08/03/08

I think I really have to face it now, another BFN. Would feel better if I had a period because at least I could start tracking my temps.

11/03/08

Well nothing seems to be happening now. This is sooooo frustrating. It has gotta be the first time in my life when I have wanted to have a period! I just wanna know what's going on, then I can really TTC.

12/03/08

Spotted a bit today, seemed to start and then stop. Obviously that was call for another test. BFN, but typically, I never learn. Fished it out of the bin to find another line. I'm sure someone is planting them and having a good laugh. That has never happened to me before this week. Feel like writing a letter to the men (its got to be men) who make the stupid things!

13/03/08

AF with avengence! Don't mind though because I can now track my temps!

22/03/08

Have been taking my temperature this month. It is a little annoying as it is impossible to take it at the same time each morning. I ovulated today according to the chart but think I may have missed the boat as we BD two days ago and not since. Fingers crossed.

13/04/08

No sign of AF coming but no other symptoms really. Have been tired but not unusually so and that it is it. Did a tesco test, BFN.

14/04/08

Went to see the acupuncturist (have been seeing him for past 6weeks now as was told it could really improve fertility) and he said a few things that made wonder if he knew something I didn't. Went and brought a pack of 2 digital tests. BFN.

17/04/08

Was laying in the bath today and could really feel the water pressing down on my stomach, felt quite uncomfortable. Did the old pregnancy symptom check, breasts a little swollen and veiny, large greenish vein on top of my thigh leading to my groin, bloated stomach. Did the second digital test, BFP!!!! Well, needless to say nobody really knows what to say to me! People don't know if it is innapropriate to congratulate me considering it might not last. Feel very chilled out for a change and not stressing... yet!

23/04/08

Five weeks today, this was the stage where my last baby died, yet I didn't know for another 7 weeks. Not many symptoms to report, in fact I feel quite well. I really want to have morning sickness then at least I know something is happening. The hospital are going to scan me at 7 weeks so I think we will get a good idea of what is happening.

10/05/08

Now 7 weeks and have had my first scan. All looked well to the docs so very pleased. Still keeping fingers crossed though! Am feeling rough all of the time now ... and I love it! I enjoy knowing that there is something going on inside me : )

14/05/08

Had another scan today. Finally 8 weeks! This is the longest anything has survived inside me! It measured 13.6mm and looked rather like a slug holding a balloon! I could see the heartbeat really clearly.

19/05/08

There was a major crash this morning and they closed the motorway. I had to sit there for 7hours with the engine off unable to go anywhere. Was so desperate for the toilet! Anyway, finally got to work after lunch with a headache from hell. Then I realised that I had started bleeding. I'm hanging on to the fact that it is browny at the moment because previous experience has shown me that bright red blood is a likely m/c.

20/05/08

Still bleeding today. A little on my knickers but mainly when I wipe. The colour still has not changed which is good. I have a scan tomorrow so I'll find out either way.

21/05/08

Well after a whole day of expecting the worst, was for once given some good news. The scan was good (I'll post the picture on here). A strong heartbeat and the baby has grown to 21mm. They could find no blood at all on the scan so the Dr thinks that it is just 'one of those things' and that the bleeding was old tissue. I have to say that I couldn't believe my luck and feel really reassured now.

24/05/08

Spotting again....don't panic.....apparently this is normal....This is the longest 12 weeks ever!

27/05/08

More bleeding, this time the dreaded pinky red colour. Am trying to stay calm. Everything is ok, I'm not going to panic.

29/05/08

What an amazing scan today. I was worried that there were going to be problems given that I was bleeding and as soon as she put the scanner on my belly we could see this mad jumping bean with little stumpy arms and legs. This is the first time that it has ever felt real! Just can't believe that I cannot feel any of those movements.

04/06/08

A little disappointed with my scan today. Martin hasn't been with me up until now because he had to work, so we thought that following the success of last week's scan he should come today.

Typically, they lost my notes, put other people in front of us in the queue and then put my file back to the beginning of the pile. He was not a happy bunny. I'm normally in and out in about 20mins and today's it took an hour and a half.

When we went in, the sonographer was a different one to who I normally see. She asked me what I was doing there as I had already had a scan. I explained that I have weekly scans. So within a matter of seconds (and with the screen away from me) she confirmed that there was a heartbeat. This is fantastic, however I had wanted Martin to see the bouncing bean. Normally, they are so thorough and really take the time to check everything for me. When I went to to the toilet afterwards, I saw that I was bleeding again. I'm getting slightly fed up with this now!

Anyway, am feeling relieved that I only have one more week until I can relax a little. Fingers and toes crossed.

11/06/08

12 week scan today. Cannot believe that I managed to get this far! Was a little freaked out because I had a moody sonographer who refused to show me the screen at all while she was scanning, which made me worry that there was something wrong. So much for a reassurance scan! Anyway, can't wipe the smile of my face now!

5/07/08

Well what a week! Went on the school residential where we took the kids away for a week. This is normally tiring but for me but at the moment was absolutely shattering. You are 'on duty' for 24 hours a day so even during the night the kids can wake you up. They are only 7/8 so most were pretty home sick. Arrived back in school on Friday and was sick as a dog. I guess that is the consequence of over doing it! Other than that though, I had been feeling better at the beginning of the week, as if I had a bit more life in me. Roll on school holidays!!

9/07/08

Met my local midwife today. She tested my urine and blood pressure and said they were fine. They then found the heartbeat using a doppler. The only thing is that I heard if the heartbeat sounds like a train, it is a boy and if it sounds like a horse cantering it is a girl. We heard two heartbeats (one like a train and one like a horse) but I didn't know which one was mine. All good anyway and getting rapidly fatter!