My Story:

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

I guess it's back to square one for me. Friday night I was having some cramping and thought it was just something I ate or I might have been constipated. I didn't have any bleeding at the time so I wasn't too worried. I didn't get good sleep that night and in the morning the cramps felt worse. I was on my way to my grandmother's house when I told my dad to pull over so I could pee. When I did go, that's when the blood came. We were only about 20 minutes away from my hospital so we turned back around and went to the ER. They sent me to Labor and Delivery. Once I was there they figured ou the the cramps I was having was contractions and my body was going into premature labor. They started me on magnesium sulfate (a muscle relaxer) to stop the contractions. They called my doctor and midwife in, and at that point they decided it was best to send me to a hospital with a high risk pregnancy ward. So that was about a 30 minute trip to Chattanooga, TN in an ambulance. Once I got there they kept me on the magnesium sulfate until Saturday night when the doctor decided it was best to see if the contractions started up again once I was taken off of it. They stayed gone long enough to let me sleep that night, then Sunday morning they started up again. My blood work came back with my white blood cells almost double what the normal person's limit should be, so they immediately thought I had an infection. All of my other blood work was normal, so they had to do an amniocentisis to check the amniotic fluid. Those test results came back and they showed that I in fact did have an infection inside, and the baby was sick. Since I was only 22 weeks and 5 days, the baby's lungs were not yet mature enough to keep him alive on his own. They decided the best thing to do was to go ahead and put me into labor and deliver. Brent Nathaniel Walden was born on Sunday, Februrary 24th at 1:50pm with no signs of life. They brought him into our room after they took him to be cleaned. My husband and I spent about 20 minutes with him before letting my parents and his parents in to say goodbye to their first grandchild. They let me go at about 6:30pm on Sunday night. My heart is broken in a million pieces... I miss my little boy everyday and there's not a minute that goes by that I don't think about him. This was my first baby, and my first time even being pregnant. I know we will have other babies, but I can't get over the pain I am feeling at this time. I know they did the right thing by saving me from the infection, but I still wish I could magically change it all. I would give anything to wake up and feel my little guy moving in my belly again. I miss him so much... I'll never be the same again. I hope this never happens to anyone else. I hope you all go on to have perfect little ones. Unfortunately, for me it'll take a little longer to get there...

Sunday, August 24th, 2003

Bobby and I got our BFP on Tuesday, August 19th, 2008. I also got BFPs on August 20th, 23rd and 24th. Can you tell I'm a little paranoid? Lol. I really hope this little one makes it. We are incredibly excited and can't wait to start the journey. Please wish us the best of luck!

**************Month 3**************

Tuesday, September 23rd - 9 Weeks

So far so good this week. I turned 9 weeks today, and I am off so that's a bonus! I can't wait til week 14 when I start my second trimester and start a cute little belly. Right now I just feel bloated and pudgy. :o( Last night was the first night since me and DH conceived that I threw him a bone and let him get some lovin. I've just been really scared with everything that's happened so far. But he promised to be really gentle and go slow. It was actually very nice... Sorry if TMI. Still can't eat a whole lot, but at least I'm not throwing up. I can't wait to get past all of this and just start feeling good and glow-y and all that great stuff. I hope everyone is doing well. Congrats to Anesha on her BFP!!

Tuesday, September 30th - 10 Weeks

Not too much has happened in the past week. I've still been feeling horrible. I threw up Friday at work. I am getting pretty excited for my next doctors appointment next Tuesday though. I can't wait to see my little one again and make sure everything is great. I'm feeling very hormonal lately. My mind constantly wanders, my boobs hurt really bad, I'm having a billion dreams a night, and of course feeling bad on top of it all. Other than that I've just been working a lot and sleeping a lot. Hopefully next week I'll have something more interesting to say, especially after my appointment. :o)

Tuesday, October 7th - 11 Weeks

First of all I'll start off by saying that everything went so well! We started off with the ultrasound, saw the heartbeat. That made my day, but it was about to get even better... She switched it over to the 4D mode and we saw my little one so clearly! It is really the best thing ever! I enjoyed every single minute of it. She checked my cervix on the ultrasound and said it looked great. She went out to talk my doc and then he came in and physically checked my cervix (not fun). But he said it was high and closed like it should be, so I'm very happy. Next appointment is with my regular OBGYN next wednesday, then back at the specialist in two weeks. I had lunch with mom and she stole my pics to show people at work, but I'll post them as soon as I come home tonight. I couldn't be happier... nothing can wreck my day.