Remember To Breathe...
07.11.07
Today is my due date and I'm going in to be induced tonight at 6pm and I'm just now (at 3:30) starting to really freak out. I mean... this is IT! I'm going to have a BABY!! I'm excited and anxious... but I'm just now starting to get nervous. Very, very nervous. Not about the pain... well, I'm not looking forward to the pain by any means!... but I just want her to make it into this world safe. I'm just nervous that I'm not going to do well and I won't be able to get her out. I'm nervous that something will happen to her. I'm just completely nervous!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!
My Birth Story
I
just want to start this with a great big thank you to everyone who has
been here for me through this whole thing. It has truely been the most
wonderful experience of my life. I haven't been able to update this
yet... obviously, because I'm quite busy being mommy! But right now,
Anna is hanging out in bed with her Daddy so I can get a little break
to get on the internet for a little while. Brandon has been absolutely
wonderful so far. He really is a pro when it comes to being a Daddy.
The two of us are doing okay and having a great time being parents.
So
my birth story goes like this: We got to the hospital at 6pm on
Wednesday to be given the Cervadil to dilate my cervix. Dr. Mark said
that if it didn't work, that he would have to send me home the next
morning. So, the nurse gave me the Cervadil and Brandon and I just sat
back and relaxed. I did start getting some contractions, but nothing
too bad. By about 10pm, I was only 1cm dilated. It really bummed me
out because if by the next day there wasn't more change, I would be
going home. I fell asleep and slept through most of the rest of the
contractions. At about 3am, the contractions had gotten bad enough to
where I couldn't sleep through them. I waited an hour to call the
nurse, so at 4am I called her down and she gave me a shot of Stadol
(sp?) to help me relax and go back to sleep... I was only 2cm! So to
sleep I went. I didn't like how the drugs made me feel... it didn't do
anything for the pain, just made me feel high. So I was just so high
that I didn't really care about the pain. But at least I slept. At
9am I was checked again and I had gotten to 4cm! Which meant there was
NO going home for me!!! Dr. Mark told me I was at 4, so he broke my
water. And let me tell you... YIKES! Soooooo much water.
Everywhere. My belly got so much smaller just from that!! Then he
told me that the pain was going to get MUCH worse from there, so he
ordered an Epidural. Let me tell you, best thing ever. I was very
impressed that the epidural went to smoothly, because where she needed
to put the needle is RIGHT where my spine gets really crooked. She
said that there is some severe curving, but she would do it and it
should work fine. And it did! I got to nap... which I DEFIALTELY
needed. At about noon, I told the nurse that I was getting SEVERE
pressure, so she checked me. I was only 5 and a half! I was so
discouraged, but then the pressure started to get severely painful...
even with the epidural. I kept telling her that I felt like I needed
to push, and it was only 20 minutes after she had checked me. She said
that she needed to get some stuff ready and I started to get really
frustrated, telling her that I REALLY needed to push!! So she checked
me and I was 9 and a half and completely effaced. YAY! We called in
Dr. Mark and I started some little pushes. Then some big pushes. And
let me tell you.... wow. Pain. Pain that can't be put into words.
Seriously. Finally when the nurse said, "I see hair" I was like......
what? Hair?! I not only was expecting a bald baby, but the thought
that everyone could see the baby's head and could see her hair... that
just made me want to get her out as fast as I could. They gave me
oxygen and I pushed my little heart out. I had tears streaming down my
face and I was sweating and grunting and screaming. Dr. Mark did
finally have to do the episiotomy and I FELT him do that. That stung a
lot. But the next push after he did that, she was here!! He laid her
on my belly as they sucked the fluid out of her nose and mouth and all
I remember is crying and rubbing her back and thinking about how warm
she felt and how much hair she had. The nurse then took her away and
Brandon stood next to me and said some things... I honestly can't
remember what he said, I was so caught up in emotion, but I know they
were amazingly nice words... and I told him to go to the warmer and
look at our new baby. I got put back together... which totally hurt
and sucked. But was worth it in every single way possible. When they
finally gave her to me all cleaned up and bundled, all I could do was
cry and kiss her and tell her how much I love her. I'm getting teary
and emotional just remembering. We announced her name to everyone in
the room and so far, everyone loves it. I love her so much. She is so
perfect.
Brandon was amazing the entire time. I seriously do
not think I would have made it through without him. From the first
night rubbing my back and my feet, to holding my head and counting
while I pushed... he did everything I could have ever needed. Even
without asking. I would not have made it though without him. His
constant encouragment was spectacular.
The stay in the hopital
was nice. They had to keep her on the warmer for a while because she
body temp was low, and I didn't like that because I could't sleep... I
just kept staring at her and wanting to hold her. It was hard the
first time I got out of bed because of A) the stitches and obvious
other pains of my body but B) she broke my tail bone. I have a broken
butt. Or bruised. The nurse said that there is no way of telling, and
Dr. Mark said he could do an X-ray, but there is nothing they could do
for it so I said screw it. I'll just deal with the pain. I still have
a very hard time getting around because of it. Finally on Saturday we
got to come home and every day since has been just another day in
paradise. She nurses very well, shes hardly fussy, and sometimes we
just lay in bed and stare at each other. Shes everything I could have
ever wanted.
07.31.07
Finally updated with some pictures of Anna. Check them out!! Hopefully, I can get on here soon and organize my pictures and update. So far, so good!!!!! I absolutely love my little Anna Grace.
08.09.07
Things are definstely different, crazy, and wonderful now that I'm finally getting to know Anna a little bit better. One thing forr positive: she definately loves (and sometimes needs) to be cuddled. She holds her head up a lot, and have definately seen her smile at me, and not because of gas. My hormones are still very out of it. I cry on a daily basis at least once. Some days I have to hide (I tell my husband I need to shower) just so that I can be alone to sob hysterically. Unfortunately, he has gotten the brunt of a lot of my recent irritability. I apologize profusely, and he hugs me and says its okay. Once my stitches are gone, Anna is sleeping through the night better, and mt hormones are better under control, I'll be my old self again. And I sure hope thats soon, because some days I can't even stand myself. I'm having a harder time coping with my weight than I thought I would. I'm a size 12, 150lbs, and only 5'2 (pre-prego I was about 130 and wore a size 4) and I just feel flabby and gross. Oh well. I still look at my wonderful little Anna and think that this is all completely worth it. I don't even remember what life was like before she was here. Shes my everything.
Also, tons of cute new pictures up in my photos!!!!!
08.21.07
I am having a terrible reaction from my cats. I am wondering why they didn't do this right when we brought Anna home... maybe its because they are just now realizing that she is here to stay? Anywho, they are now peeing on EVERYTHING. Literally, on at least one thing in every room of the house has cat pee on it. And they have pooped ALL OVER the basement! My sister is a Vet Tech and I asked her to talk to the vet about it... and he said that they are peeing to mark their territory (obviously) BUT the pooping is to show me and Brandon how pissed off they are! I couldn't believe it!! So, I'm more than likely going to have to find them a home. I am very upset by this because I have had them for soooooo long and have been with me through a lot. *sigh* Other than the cat situation, Anna is doing WONDERFUL!! She smiles ALL THE TIME and "talks" to herself and to me and Brandon. Its just cooing, but you can tell that she has found that she has a voice that she can control. Its adorable. Breastfeeding is FINALLY a breeze! I thought the day would never come! Anna had Thrush (Ergo, I had Thrush) and they gave her medication that turned her whole mouth purple. Which, in turn, turned my nipples purple. It was gone in two days, but sooo hilarious. I'm glad we are both better now. Anywho, I've got some major cleaning to get done while Anna is napping. ALSO!! MORE NEW PICTURES UP!!!! Someone is going to have to take away my camera because I take pictures of her all the time!!!!
10.17.07
So, like the rest of you, I was pretty bummed that everything I wrote for September got erased. I was in protest and had decided not to post anything anymore. But, I gave in and now an update. The cats are fine now, since thats what my last post was about. I don't know what their problem was, but they seemed to have gotten over whatever it was. I'm glad. Anna is getting sooo big and I can't believe how much she can do now! She talks all the time, smiles at everything and everyone, laughs not only when I tickle her belly, but when I make silly faces, too! She had her two month appointment and was an even 11lbs and was 22 inches long. He said shes doing very, very well. Her 4 month appointment is November 14th. She sits up like a big girl, but I have to hold her. She loves to stand, too! She only needs my balance while standing, and thats a big accomplishment! She will definitely be mobile by Christmas. I have already bought her two Christmas presents from Santa. They are hidden in the closet. I've also been thinking about going back to work to make some extra money for the household, and I put in an application to be a Partylite consultant. I'll update more later to let everyone know how that goes. Other than that, I have more pictures up!!!!! Everyone take care!!
10.20.07
Today I am going with a friend to get haircuts and manicures. I'm excited, but I'll be leaving Anna with her daddy all day. I know I shouldn't be nervous, because he IS her daddy and all, but I'm still worried. He does things sometimes that really make me worry... because he just doesn't know. And sometimes I worry that hes going to end up putting her in her swing and leaving her. I know he won't, but its just a worry... you know? I'm sure it will all be fine. I just need to stop worrying.
Anywho, if anyone has a MySpace, feel free to add me, just send me a message telling me that you are from this website. Otherwise, I won't add you. I just feel like I update that more often and I put more pictures on there and its just more of a personal site to me, as opposed to this one. My url is http://myspace.com/ordinarygirl621
More pictures on here... again!
12.26.07
Started a new page... Annas-Momma. I'm going to just leave this one as is. I'll be using the new page and updating on there from now on.
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