01/28/08

Okay I am getting so excited about being pregnant now! I feel better and I am enjoying having a belly...everythings better now! Last night I was asking my husband if he was nervous about having a baby. He said No and that although it is going to be really hard at first we really need to enjoy it because this will be the ONLY time that this baby is a baby and it will go by so fast and we will never be able to have that experience with THIS child! I thought that that was a good way to look at it. It just really makes me happy to know that my is going to have the most wonderful father!!! :)

Amani Kaluwevah

03/15/2008

Well I found out that I am having a healthy baby boy...I really had a feeling it was a boy..it just makes sense that he would be a boy. I am excited about doing his room we picked out paint and I think that we are going to do a jungle theme or something.

04/03/08

I am so excited about my baby boy! I can't wait to meet him. I am having a really hard time believing that there is a little baby inside of me. I mean I feel him move alot, mostly down low, but I am having a hard time grasping that there is a 13in long 1.5lb baby inside of me!...CRAZY! I am trying my best to keep a positive attitude through the whole pregnancy thing, it is just really hard when I have some many emotions and they can change on the drop of a dime. I am feeling really alone. I know that people have gone through the same things and feel the way that I do but they are not going through it NOW. I miss my body being my own. I feel like total crap about myself and everyone pointing out the fact that I am FAT doesn't help. My husband doesn't want to be around me much anymore so that hurts my feelings but I am trying to control my hormones......I feel like I am doing better but who knows. I am having a hard time staying positive so I have been counting down the days.....I don't know how much that helps but when I really think about it when I started I had like way over 200 days and now I am at 109 :) I just want him to be here and be healthy and I am looking forward to being able to be home with him for a few months, that is the only thing that keeps me going. It is funny because when I really start feeling negative he always seems to kick me almost like he is saying "listen up lady this is not about you it is about ME! " It makes me smile :) I love him so much!

04/16/08

I am counting down the days until I have my son. I think that it will take alot of convincing to get me pregnant again. I know that he is worth every stretch mark, every pound, every emotional break down and all of the other unpleasentries of pregnancy. I am sure that once he is here all of that stuff won't matter anymore but for now I am having a hard time with it. I didn't think that pregancy would be this hard, I knew that things were going to change (stretch marks, weight gain,...) but I didn't think that it would bother me as much as it does. I guess when you figure I have probably gained like 40lbs already it makes sense. That is a major factor in the way that I feel. I don't really feel like I have been going crazy and eating everything is sight but the scale shows differently. I am working on being better and really limiting how much I eat so we will see if that makes a difference.

05/16/2008

I am finally in week 30! I am no waddling(so they tell me), my feet are swollen, I am peeing ALL the time, my back hurts when I do dishes or walk to fast and I am still getting fatter and even more stretch marks :( but I will tell you that all of that is worth it to feel my baby move! I love when he moves, even when it is uncomfortable, I like to see my stomach move...it is weird for a part of your body to be moving and not have control over it. I live how anytime I eat anything he moves around, almost like he gets excited when I eat! (I have a feeling that he is going to be a little fat ass like his momma :)) He makes me so happy already! I am ready to meet him and see what he looks like. I don't want him to come early or anything I just want time to hurry up until I have him and then slow down after he is here....is that too much to ask?