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Update 4/22/07:

I am pregnant! I cannot believe it! We have been TTC for over two years, since we experienced another tragic loss in February 2005. I was rear ended by a car on the freeway, while I was stopped in traffic. I saw him coming, braced for the impact- felt it hit and knew moments later that he had knocked something loose. I was on my way to meetings... Since then, I have experienced the pain of recovery, I have a herniated disc in my cervical spine and many other different injuries I spent two years attending to. I had opted not to have the spine surgery for disc replacement as we really wanted to have another child. So we tried and tried- then we began to try with assistance from our friend and RE Ilene Hatch. We did several IUI rounds medicated with Repronex, followed by the horrid 2ww with shots of PIO and Heparin. I was taking daily doses of baby aspirin and eating prenatal vitamins even though I was not KU yet. It was a brutal roller coaster. When I got the last BFN in November of 2006, we decided it was time to save for iVF procedure number one, as Dr. Hatch felt it was our best hope of achieving another pregnancy. I was devastated by each loss we experienced and by every negative test. What was wrong with my body, how could I have had perfect cycles, beautiful follicles mixed with my husband's cleaned and perfect sperm and still no baby.

We gave up. On Feb 26, 2007 I had a normal cycle, March 13th 2007 I had some mild spotting, and considered it a cycle end because my body was transitioning still away from all the meds it had been dealing with to mimic cycles, and create a womb for a baby over the last several months... then I had the worst UTI anyone could ever experience! I couldn't understand it- we are completely careful and clean, how did I get a UIT?!@ It hurt to pee and I tried every remedy I could, we had just lost our health insurance and it would be two months before our new policy would cover anything, but I finally relented and had to go to urgent care at the insistence of my hubby. He couldn't stnad to see the tears every time I had to pee. Which was frequent, because of the infection. He took me to the urgent care facility and the doctor asked if was or could possibly be pregnant. I scoffed, and snorted out "Blah, yeah, right- look doc, we've been trying for two years to get pregnant, with no luck, including iuis with drugs!" "Not a chance." He took me at my word and didn't even test me. He wrote me a script for vicodin for pain and an antibiotic Cipro that is heavy duty and would knock it out. I thanked him and we went home. This was on April 19th. On the 22nd, three days later, I was again visiting the bathroom, but with increasingly less pain but the frequency of my need to pee increased with the lack of pain. I had one, old stick left in the drawer with my progesterone in oil, heparin and a couple of vials of Repronex I hadn't yet donated... I thought, "Self, you gotta pee anyway, again, it's the last stick in the box and will probably expire before you get to use it with an iVF- what the heck, I already know it'll be negative...." It was 5:45 pm, Andy was downstairs making dinner for me (Yeah, I was starving too!) I'd been peeing all day and blaming all the cranberry juice I had been drinking... and I went for it. I POAS and set it aside while I finished up what had become my new UTI routine... wipe once, wipe again with clean paper then wipe a third time with an antibacterial wipe (you know the ones from the OB office?) then get up. I did it all, got up and in one motion reached for the stick and was tossing it in the trash - - - when what did I see?!@# Is that a second LINE?!@# No, it couldn't be... it's the lighting, or lack thereof. No it is another line, there are two lines!!!! Holy mother of God!!! No, calm down. I sat back down and stared at the stick. After I was sure it wasn't going away I ran past my son's room and down the stairs with my 8 year old fast on my heels... "What is it Mom? What's wrong?" I slammed the stick down next to the pasta in the kitchen and said accusingly "You did it, you knocked me up! I am pregnant!" I started to cry, my youngest (the 8 year old) freaked out and ran to get his sister (our 13 year old) my husband was astonished, and thrilled... we had a giant family hug while the garlic bread burned....

Update 04/23/07:

I went to see the RE with my hubby. She did an u/s and we saw a sac and nothing more. She drew blood and said it was just too early.

Update 04/24/07:

The results are back our HcG was over 3,000!!! Our RE told us not to get our hopes up... as with those numbers, we should be seeing more than 'just a sac' which measured me at 5w2d. I cried and cried. Andy held me tight and we cried together... so unfair. I want to get my hopes up. She told us we'd see her in a week, then decide how to proceed, in the meantime, I was put back on PIO and heparin (just in case).

Update 05/01/07:

Back to Ilene's office for another u/s. She said she was not optimistic and I was a mess. Teary and determined to be strong. She inserted the 'dildo cam' and started with my cervix. Long and tightly closed. Good, check. Lining, perfect and thick. Good, Check. Sac, and BABY!!!!!! Measuring 6w3d!!!! Houston, we have a heartbeat! It was the sweetest thing I have EVER seen. 120 bpm. Perfect for that age. Dr. Hatch started to cry with us. A miracle. On a cycle where we were taking a break, unexpected, unplanned and completely and totally perfect! Wow. Now to make it to the golden 2nd trimester...

Update. 7/25/07:

Well we are in week 19!!! I have not been sleeping well, but I suppose this comes with the territory! Ugh! I am up several times a night to PEE and I just cannot get comfortable. Our air conditioning went out or something, but we cannot get our room cooled off to a tolerable (for me) level. Other than that, Lyryk is a very active baby girl! She kicks and rolls quite often each day. Today we had our 19 week appointment, it went great- have I mentioned I ADORE my OB? He scans at each appointment and is so completely thorough and takes all the time you need. He is awesome. Did I mention he also delivers ALL of his own babies, no on calls! Fantastic! His wife is expecting in December too- a bit earlier than us, but he is thrilled it is their first.

My sequential screen came back negative too, but have my Level 2 u/s on the 31st! This is cool... but I hate knowing my actual odds- the cut off for a woman my age is 1 in 53 (I'll be 43 at the birth) chance of DS. My screen came back at 1 in 260, which is great, comparatively but still makes me go, Huh? Anyhow, the U/S should change the numbers for the better. Oy. The worries we have as older Mamas. And we do get to 'see' her at each visit and my first tri screen was negative too, so I am pretty sure she is fine and my doc says no need for an amnio with those numbers he considers it an undue risk.

Let's see, I am trying a new prenatal, Citracal Prenatal 90 + DHA - he said it makes smarter babies >grin< and it has a stool softener in it to prevent problems with the new iron supplement I am now also taking, Oy!

Update 10/24/2007:

Today I had my final Peri appointment, it was bittersweet. I am thrilled to be a graduate, this is my second graduation in 5 months! First I graduated from my RE's office at 18 weeks, now I am leaving my Peri too! Bottom line, is while my hormonal self wanted to weep and hang on, it means that I am no longer considered 'high risk' - instead, I am just a regular ole preggo woman like all the rest! This is why it is bittersweet. Lyryk is growing like a little weed, (or flower), she weighed in today at 4 pounds and 10 ounces! Almost pushing the 5 lb mark- wow. She is measuring in the upper 90 percentile for growth and all looks healthy and fantastic. Her fetal heart tones were in the 150's which they complimented, but the biggest compliment came when they flipped on the 3/4D- she is just drop dead gorgeous! Our u/s tech and Peri were mesmerized by her (as were Andy and I) beauty. She has lush full lips, a gorgeous little button nose, lil apple cheeks and a pretty forehead (like mom!)- it is such an amazing technology and we feel so incredibly blessed to be able to enjoy it. Her belly is perfect (measured in the 50% - which as a girl when she is older she should appreciate!) and her lungs are already practice breathing- that was an amazing thing to see. Her lungs, going in and out and in and out, her chest rising and falling... I am blown away.

One of the big pulls of having another child is the sheer curiosity around who they will be. Each is so different from the other. It has easily caused us to have so many. We're really compelled to see how the next one will be unique. They are made of the same stuff, harbor strapping similarities, but are born of completely different molds. There is one common thread though that is always so fetching to witness: common fascinations. Especially when they are tied to a certain age or a certain level of burgeoning awareness. The young one comes to something that is brand new to her and wondrous, and you remember how the older one was once taken up in the same enthrall. And you wonder how you ever forgot that touching exhilaration in your own child, and how you never really even noticed that they had grown out of it. That's another big part of having number two, it returns you to so many precious epochs you've ushered into and - by dint of the hurly burly of childrearing - passed right out of without much ado.

Parenting is a process of entering ever higher echelons of a secret society. This society is full of knowledge beyond compare. As esoteric as the Sufi's, this knowledge is available only to the initiates. And there is only one sort of high priest or priestess that can fire brand you with this knowing: your own child.

Along these lines, other devotees proffer aphorisms like, "It goes so fast." What does that mean? Have children, you will know.

Update 10/28/2007:

I am a weepy girl! Not entirely sure if this is normal or not! I find myself just getting emotional over silly stuff. No reason at all. I've decided to set up our Christmas/Chanukah bush/tree early this year. We'll be putting it up with all our lights and decorations the second week of November. Chanukah starts the 5th of December this year and I am certain we'll be in no mood to hustle through the setting up of Christmasy gear come mid December when we are expecting Lyryk's arrival. I only have 4 more scheduled appointments with my OB! I cannot believe it. I realize she may not come before we schedule a fifth, but one can always hope! My doc will not let me go past my dates by more than 3 days he said. So she will be here by the 19th of December. I'm glad. I would prefer not to be in hospital for the holiday proper.
I have this strange lethargy that creeps over me lately, it is combined with that weepy feeling I spoke of earlier... which, no one on the main board seems to be experiencing when I asked- or perhaps they just choose not to respond to me. ;-/ I care not about that though- as I get plenty of action from my kindred mamas on the WebMd boards! I keep a list too of all us mommies... WebMdTri Boards it is a great way to keep track of all the babies being born soon.... I have done a lot of shopping for the holiday, with 6 kids it is good to get it out of the way early in the year... most of them are big, but they need gifts too! One of my older boys, Josh, is moving to Barcelona for 3 years to study the culture and history of Spain... very cool, but he will be missed during the holiday. :::sniffle::: I hope he actually makes it over there as he plans, as he is so very excited about it! It seems he will miss his sister's arrival, but alas- she is not the first child born in the family, just the first in a very long time. My daughter Whit plans to be here for her birth, along with Lyryk's two nieces, my grand daughter's, Destiny and Serenity... that will be a special time as they live in the middle of the country and I rarely get to see them. I suppose that is my update for now! If I think of more I will certainly add it in...

Belly pats ladies!

Update 11/07/07:

Well, well, well- the Lyryk child decided to have a major growth spurt, in addition to revolving breech. She is now weighing in at 5lbs 14 oz (almost 6 lbs!) and I gained 9 lbs in two weeks... I do not have GD, no protein in my urine, my BP 114/71 and I eat mostly healthy stuff- tons of veg and fruits, loads of whole grain carbs and some protein (mostly tofu and fish)- so, I am not sure how this could have happened... aside from the reality that she put on a pound +. My EDD is 12.16 and now he says she is measuring at 36 weeks - and he will plan on taking her via induction on or about 12.05 if she hasn't decided to come on her own. If she doesn't head back downtown, he will schedule me for a section and try a version at my next appt. He said I am a good candidate for version because I have had so many kids and my uterus is squishy. I am still mortified over the weight gain... 9 lbs in two weeks- NINE! She looks perfect, healthy and content. She is full breech, not a footling- he said and he thinks with a bit of help she may go back head down in the next week or so. He made me promise to call if my ctrx. got timeable (I had two during the exam) and he will begin internals in two weeks (normally he starts them at 38 weeks) He knows from past experience that I am a bit of a lagger- I like to shower, eat and chill AT HOME before heading to hospital (a place I loathe). I am scared of the section possibility and hope that Lyryk does finally cooperate and turn, (my 14 year old daughter, Tempest was breech at week 39 and we turned her with music and lights but at birth she was only 6lbs 10oz and she was facing my left side making the journey down easier- she just had to do a forward flip! Lyryk is backwards and head up, facing my right- and looking straight at her knees!) She is perfectly healthy - and the water levels are perfect and her lips are gorgeous and full like Ms. Jolie (except on her they look like Angelina on steroids being such a tiny face ) Did I mention I am freaking out about the 9 lbs weight gain? I do not have swollen anything- my hips do feel like they are going to fall off, when I lie down at night with my requisite pillows my hands go numb and my hips hurt enough that they wake me.... I pee every hour and have so much RLP between the rest that he decided I needed Vicodin and maybe that will help me sleep- he assured me that nothing he will give me will harm the little one and I deserve a bit of relief. - If that doesn't work, I can have Demoral which I hate- and I hate Vicodin and I hate Codeine and I hate pain but hate the former more. I am still in physical therapy for two car accidents in 2005 (started back to PT when I was about 5 months out) and he doesn't want me to have to do a lot of pushing come baby having time (how do they prevent that?) I am rambling- it was not a very pleasant appointment I fear... mostly because I didn't hear what I wanted to hear, "You look great, weight is perfect, baby is still head down, sorry you cannot sleep, normal, normal, normal - see you in two weeks!" Sorry this got so long, and honestly I am so not venting, just whining and worried about having another baby taken early, my last was (he was over 9lbs so they feared he'd go to 10 if they didn't pull him- and they were probably right, so two weeks early he came on 2/03/99 instead of 2/14/99, wet on the lungs and ended up with RSV over the following Easter - scared the bejessus out of us. He was sick more than well for the following two years and ended up having his tonsils and adenoids removed at age 3.5. He is much better and healthy as a horse now at age 8.5 and (knocking wood) hasn't been sick but once or twice since with a cold or flu- but still.... I would rather just go naturally whenever she is ready than have her go through all that. Am I asking for too much you think? A perfect pregnancy, natural labor, easy delivery, healthy baby which turns into a healthy child?

Bottom line though? She is perfect, so I am happy. Even if we do get to meet her a bit earlier than planned....

Belly pats, mamas!

Update 11/10/2007:

Happy to report that the dromedary droops, pelvic tilts, the swimming pool and birthing ball have all helped to flip Lyryk back into head down position! I felt her turn (it took some of all of the above) last night in bed, but I am sure the working at it certainly helped! I hope she deigns to remain in this positions, though I am sure she is capable of flipping back upright again, if she chooses. Stubborn girl that she is. I did not get a wink of good sleep last night with all her business, so tonight I am going to let myself get good and tuckered out before heading to bed. (Thought I was last night!) I may even indulge in a sleep aid before hand as well- the doc gave me some vicodin, which has been VERY helpful in managing the RLP today. makes me a tad loopy but I rather that than pain. Starting to get a bit 'nesty' lately, got our room picked up and DH is doing the laundry and such, all the Lyryk child;s clothes are washed and in the drawers and her changing pad is in place. I got her car seat this week (the infant one off our registry) and we will try to figure out how to install the base this week. I have two dozen dipes ready to be washed and put up- and our diaper service will make the first drop of 80 newborn size diapers at the end of November! I'd like to get her co-sleeper up and ready this weekend as well, then I will be confident that should she arrive early, we'll be ready! I've added some new photos of my big big BIG belly- including one I found of my belly at 28 weeks! WOW, is the key word there! You really do not realize how big they are until you see them on the outside!

Belly Pats, Mamas!

Update 11/13/2007 - 9:55pm:

Just got home from L&D - had been having regular BHC, all day, that lasted 30 - 45 seconds, generally not a biggie, but the doc wanted me to be safe, not sorry! They changed my EDD to 12/12/2007 based on my growth and LMP - the L&D nurses wheeled it and they're right! So, that certainly makes sense with respect to Lyryk's size and corressponds with our Peri's dates and my RE's dates! Our original date was 12/12/2007. So now to change those tickers... funny thing is they were planning on inducing me by then anyhow as she was grwoing so big, now it looks as though I may get my wish to go naturally whenever she is ready! THey monitored me and watched the ctx. which showed for them as well, but Lyryk is tolerating it fine and I explained that they certainly do not hurt, at least not compared to the RLP I get now and again and I do not feel like they are changing anything- so I got sent home to bedrest, and a cervix check with my OB this week- and now we are on weekly appts! So I am 36 weeks tomorrow- and they just want her to make it to 37.5, I'd like her to go to 40, thank you very much! I still have some stuff to do! I love love love the L&D nurses - met a couple of them and they are simply awesome- very clearly the Mama advocate and that is so special compared to past experiences having kiddieos! I feel very luck, grateful and blessed. Chrissy, my nurse this evening is who I want for my delivery- she has 5 children and her last one is the cutest button at 8 months old, she experienced PTL and told me how horrid the Terb was, needless to say I was grateful to be released after a few hours of monitoring, rather than undergoing a shot of that! It was good though, and of course the moment I got home they started back up and with more feeling this time! More importantly is that Lyryk tolerates them like a champ - with barely a decel in the bunch. Oh and all the nurses adore my OB, and told me he is one of the few who never rushes, isn't ever in a hurry and is not intervention happy! Yeesh, I could have told them that! ;-) Belly Pats, I am off to sleep for my requisite 2 hours now!

Update 11/21/2007 - 5:00pm:

Hi there! I updatd and then my browser crashed, so now I either have to try and write out all that I lost from what I remember writing- or start fresh! I was going on and on about Thanksgiving and how it is possible that we all celebrate that which began with a huge massacre of our ancestors and Native Americans... But does one ever wonder why we celebrate this national holiday? Why does everyone give thanks?

History is never simple. The standard history of Thanksgiving tells us that the "Pilgrims and Indians" feasted for three days, right? Most Americans believe that there was some magnificent bountiful harvest. In the Thanksgiving story, are the "Indians" even acknowledged by a tribe? No, because everyone assumes "Indians" are the same. So, who were these Indians in 1621?

In 1620, Pilgrims arrived on the Mayflower naming the land Plymouth Rock. One fact that is always hidden is that the village was already named Patuxet and the Wampanoag Indians lived there for thousands of years. To many Americans, Plymouth Rock is a symbol. Sad but true many people assume, "It is the rock on which our nation began." In 1621, Pilgrims did have a feast but it was not repeated years thereafter. So, it wasn't the beginning of a Thanksgiving tradition nor did Pilgrims call it a Thanksgiving feast. Pilgrims perceived Indians in relation to the Devil and the only reason why they were invited to that feast was for the purpose of negotiating a treaty that would secure the lands for the Pilgrims. The reason why we have so many myths about Thanksgiving is that it is an invented tradition. It is based more on fiction than fact.

So, what truth ought to be taught? In 1637, the official Thanksgiving holiday we know today came into existence. (Some people argue it formally came into existence during the Civil War, in 1863, when President Lincoln proclaimed it, which also was the same year he had 38 Sioux hung on Christmas Eve.) William Newell, a Penobscot Indian and former chair of the anthropology department of the University of Connecticut, claims that the first Thanksgiving was not "a festive gathering of Indians and Pilgrims, but rather a celebration of the massacre of 700 Pequot men, women and children." In 1637, the Pequot tribe of Connecticut gathered for the annual Green Corn Dance ceremony. Mercenaries of the English and Dutch attacked and surrounded the village; burning down everything and shooting whomever try to escape. The next day, Newell notes, the Governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony declared: "A day of Thanksgiving, thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children." It was signed into law that, "This day forth shall be a day of celebration and thanksgiving for subduing the Pequots." Most Americans believe Thanksgiving was this wonderful dinner and harvest celebration. The truth is the "Thanksgiving dinner" was invented both to instill a false pride in Americans and to cover up the massacre.

Was Thanksgiving really a massacre of 700 "Indians"? The present Thanksgiving may be a mixture of the 1621 three-day feast and the "Thanksgiving" proclaimed after the 1637 Pequot massacre. So next time you see the annual "Pilgrim and Indian display" in a shopping window or history about other massacres of Native Americans, think of the hurt and disrespect Native Americans feel. Thanksgiving is observed as a day of sorrow rather than a celebration. This year at Thanksgiving dinner, ponder why you are giving thanks. We love dinner rolls and do not eat meats in our house, but green bean cassarole is always a big hit! Enough about all that- I've given the history lesson for the week!

Onto baby Lyryk- she is refusing to be a good girl and flip head down! We are now scheduled for an ECV on 12.06 and hoping she'll turn before then! We are trying everything - including the 'inversion' from spinningbabies.com and pelvic tilting, dromedary drooping and many others! Otherwise our OB will give it a whirl. If all else fails we are scheduled out for the C/S on that day- barring all complications. Send me flippy baby vibes please! Our EDD is 12.12 - and he will induce on 12.13 if she doesn't arrive before then.... we think this is a cool birthday anyhow. My DH and older son, Auron said they thought it would be better suited for the year 2014 - but I'll be old and retired from child bearing by then! 12.13.14 - ha ha. Other than that she is almost 7lbs, she is gorgeous and my amniotic levels are great so they think I am a good candidate for the ECV or for her to flip her ownself! I had my GBS swab- not too worried over that, never had strep before so I doubt we've contracted it now. We are getting down to the wire now- have almost everything we need, though I am still awaiting the diaper service to make an appearance with her dipes! Go the infant seat, looking for a used (gently) snap and go as we have a lovely pram from Emmaljunga that will stroll the princess through childhood... I still hope someone else (hint hint) buys us our Britax seat off the registry! So dang expensive! Wow, but awful cute!

Off to work the kitchen- I am making the pistachio pudding salad and green bean casserole- DH is making his famous sweet potato casserole from his southern Nana then we only need fret over the main dishes of scalloped potatos, our hearty lentil stew and big leafy salad tomorrow!

Peace ladies (and gents!)

UPDATE 11/29/07 - 1:26PM:

All of your flippy vibes must have worked. I left my house at 7:30 (traffic sucks in LA) and headed to the hospital for my version. We arrived a bit after 8 (on an empty tummy ) and they hooked me up for NST. All was well with the Lyryk child, her FHT stayed pretty consistent around 158. They monitored us for about an hour then I got a shot of Terb. Had no reactions at all to it (in spite of my fear that it would send me spiraling into panic)- no racing heart, nothing. My OB showed up then and they did the U/S. Her head was still up all tucked into my placenta but DH had managed to get her to flip to the other side so she was facing my left, meaning he could flip her face forward. I had plenty of amniotic fluid so they lubed up my tummy with mineral oil, and in under a minute he managed to push her into my pelvis, HEAD DOWN!!!!! He gave her another good shove into my pelvic bone to engage her head. I won't lie, it hurt like he ll - but only for a second. My DH calls him a Version ninja and my OB nurse said she was going to have to have my OB do her version if her son doesn't turn. (She's due in 5 weeks)

They monitored me for another hour and half (by this time I was starving....) and while I am contracting (I secretly would pull the ctx TOCO monitor off my belly during the ctx) they really aren't regular enough yet for them to keep me. They put an abdominal (super tight squeezy thing) wrap on me to make sure she doesn't have an ideas about re flipping) and scheduled my induction for the 5th at noon, if we make it until then. I am a 2 and 100% effaced so he feels it is just a matter of time... I need the time. We hightailed it and went to eat. YAY! Now I am home and taking it easy, thinking about all that needs to get done before she arrives.

So that's my story gals- Version CAN work, in spite of the odds against it. My doc is experienced in it, but more importantly, she was ripe for it. Oh yeah, and she loves Buck Owens and hates DJ Paedophile! New EDD 12/05/07 - Induction is set in stone!

UPDATE 12/08/07 - 11:03AM:

She's here!!! First Photos!!

http://web.mac.com/michelleblaine/iWeb/Site/Baby%20Blaine-Johnson.html

Our Birth Story.....

http://webmdtriboards.tripod.com/Lyryk/