Monday 18th February.

IM A MUMMY!!!

My beautiful baby Jordhan Grace was born on the 10th February 2008, at 2:38pm after 7 hours!! I cant believe she is here already, i just stare at her all day. To me she is the most beautiful thing i have seen in my life and i love her so much!

Tuesday 29th January.

I had my midwife appointment yesterday, and no wonder i have been feeling like i have a bowling ball between my legs, she is engaged and her head is really low, it feels horrible when she moves her head!! It took me 2 days to get used to the weird sensation of her head there, i can walk a little easier today :) i hope she comes early, I was sayin to paul today how nice it would be to have a valentines baby :) Her room is all set, just needs my little Jordhan now. I finished work 2 weeks early, thank god! but i have been so bored at home. Even driven to baking!! although it didnt go so well but at least it gave me something to do. *hurry up my baby*

Tuesday 15th January.

Im in a really good mood today! who knows why but im not about to question it, major energy burst today. hopefully i go into labour soon i cant wait to meet our little one!! im getting more and more excited everyday, BUT then i have a contraction and i start getting nervous and freaking out lol. aww well, it cant be helped. Labour is coming whether i like it or not!

Monday 7th January.

wow its been a whole month since i wrote!! well since then, my grandad died, paul and i finally moved out of his parents and im getting braxton hicks every SINGLE day!! they drive me nuts. six more weeks of uncomfortable days, and hot sleepless nights, yay for me. 2 ladies at work found out they were pregnant AFTER me, and they have both had their babies already, so NOT fair!! :) anyway, paul has gone away for a whole week, im not to sure what im going to do with myself, he has only been away 2 hours and i miss him more then ever. i have a friend coming to stay with me while he is away, but i stil feel lonely!! aww well, bring on friday.

Friday 7th December.

One more week and im free for xmas holidays.. wish they would come a little quicker im exausted. Three whole weeks of complete nothingness, i cant wait to do what ever i want to do any time of the day! we have a silly xmas decorations comp on monday so were spending the afternoon decorating administration. Not feeling very xmasey as yet, hopefully it will kick in soon, think im just too tired. Anyway.. jordhan is kickin like crazy still, at least i know she is ok!! :)

Friday 30th November

wow, what a day yesterday. i was found in the toilets by a co worker, i was feeling really sick and couldnt stop shaking, stomach pain, high temp and beeding nose, so she called the first aid lady, then she called in my manager who then called my midwife, so i ended up in the labour ward. My midwife came and gave me a througher check, it was just my blood pressure that had dropped so sudednly that made me get to sick, it was horrible, i was fine then the next second i was sick as a dog. so i had the rest of the day off yesterday and im back at work today feel good apart from tired! Bubs is healthy and rolling around still, annoying her poor mother!! :):):)

Wednesday 28th November

Paul and i went to prenatal classes on saturday, my honey learnt so much, the poor thing had no clue i had to give birth to the placenta!! He was fasinated with the birthing videos too, which was good. He learnt a active birth is 40% quicker, so now he keeps telling me "were gonna get ya up and your gonna be walking around and active" i just agreed with him knowing when the time comes im going to do whats comfortable for me! i had my first braxton hicks while we were there too, it felt weird but im happy to finally start getting them. Im starting to get growing pains again now too, suckie!! oh well, should do some work i suppose :)

Thursday 22 November

Whoops, its been a whole nine days since i wrote last. Oh man, worst nigth ever lastnight, i went to bed feeling fine, then woke up feeling very sick and my body started shaking and i got the sweats, i thought i had come down with something so i sat up and sipped my water, then i started feeling better but had masive cramps in my tummy that really hurt, but bubs started kicking and they went away. THEN i kept waking up sitting up in bed, i must have put all my pillows up against the wall in my sleep, i woke sitting up about 3 times. AND when i finally got to sleep i woke up with really bad leg cramps!! what a night and a half i tell ya. Poor paul this morning said the wrong thing at the wrong time and i burst into tears without reason. This hormonal thing really bites ya in the butt. other then that all is well, have ante natal classes this weekend which im looking forward too. 17 more working days until my 3 week christmas break, BRING IT ON!

Tuesday 13th November

Well.. Paul and i have sorted out our differences and we are not splitting up, he said he loves me and is not planning on leaving me and his little girl EVER. We are now talking about getting married :-) Bubs is moving like there is no tomorrow STILL!! This week is much better then the last 2 and i am starting to feel happy again. Other then the usual aches and pains i am starting to enjoy this pregnancy. I have a midwife appointment today, and after this one i see her ever 2 weeks. YAY, not long now, i cant wait to meet her.

Friday 9th November

The week hasnt gotten any better, i went to the emergency doc cuz i couldnt breathe and felt faint. They found my blood pressure to be very very low, so i had some days off work, but we need money so im back at work today. At least its friday. My little girl is very clever, my sister was tapping gently on my tummy and she was following the vibrations, she is going to be very clever :):)

Tuesday 6th November

Just when i start feeling ok about my friend Jazz, Paul and i are fighting. He says sometimes he gets so worked up he thinks he wants out. out of this relationship. he says at this time of his life he should be carefree and not have anything to worry about. Im scared. I told him if he wants to leave that i will understand, just to do it now before things get worse and it will be harder to do later on. What if he says he does want to leave?

Thursday 01 November

Paul text me yesterday telling me my friend had died. She had cancer for a long long time but i thought she would live so much longer. I decided to come to work today anyway, and try keep my mind of it, but i must say it is very very hard to keep a clear head. baby is good, she is kicking lots and lots, she is happy at least.

Tuesday 30th October

I had a nice great big melt down lastnight, i think the stress from pauls parents not liking me and having to LIVE with them has finally got the best of me, trying to pretend to paul everyday that its ok they dont like me, it got too much. Paul told me to stop cooking dinner and sit down and i burst into tears and couldnt stop crying. I felt hopless and that everything IS my fault and i started regretting baby and then i felt guilty for thinking that which made things worse. Boy was i a mess. I feel like i would make pauls life easier if i just left. It would definatly make his parents happier if i was out of the picture, 3 years and they still dont see me as part of their family. Just 'pauls girlfriend' they dont even pay any interest in their grand daughter, not once have they asked how she is, they dont even know she is a girl. What a horrible start to the week. Hopefully things look up in the week to come. Wish me luck!

Monday 29th October

I have very clearly learnt my lesson NOT to repeatedly bend down to collect shells off the beach, baby hated it and decided to shove her foot right into my rib! so much that it hurt to breathe! that was fun. NOT!!

Friday 26th October

im STILL waking up with cramps AND my little siter is moving away :( i have never been more then a 20 drive away from her, now its going to be a whole 4 hour drive, 4 hour boat trip and more driving after the boat :( im going to miss her, i already feel so so sad. I need a hug. WORST of all, im not allowed to tell Paul yet because he is best friends with my sisters partner, and he isnt allowed to know until the contract is signed. I wasnt even allowed to know yet!! *sigh*

Thursday 25th October

ahhhh someone kill me, i got about 3 hours sleep, i kept waking up inbetween the leg crapms, scary dreams and just randomly waking up with frights for no reason. NOT COOL! i am so tired today. Yesterday when i got home, i had a horrible few moments thinking how FAT i had gotten, and somehow thought getting on the scale would make me feel better seeing i didnt really weight 'that' much, but turns out, i am at my heaviest EVER, almost 60kg, which i think is around 120 pounds. Paul thinks its great, he says im blossoming and keeps telling me how beautiful i am, which kinda helps!! i cant wait to loose the extra weight and fit into my fav size 8 jeans again.

Wednesday 24th October

All i want is coke. BUT when i drink it, i feel like its rotting my tummy, but i keep having the urge to drink it!! ahhhh. Bubs has been moving lots today as usual, Paul has taken over the cooking and vacuming!!!YES! im loving it, all i need to do when i get home is turn the tv on or grab a book and unwind from my day, i couldnt ask for anyone better, he is perfect. He was so sweet lastnight, he came into bed and said: 'I love you my girls' awww i cant wait to get home and cuddle him!!

Tuesday 23rd October

Oh how i wish my tummy was as small as it was in the photo, i always wanted a big pregnant belly but not so much now. i cant do anything on my own anymore, i cant even put my shoes on. My bladder has a mind of its own, i cant cough without peeing myself. And speeking of peeing, i need to go ALL the time, yesterday i was getting mad because i needed to pee every 40 minutes, while trying to watch movies. Bubs has been very active this past weekend, think she is rolling around now, and constantly kicking, punching and again im sure... headbutting. I WANT HER OUT!!! but.. i was thinking how sad it would be not to be pregnant anymore.

Friday 19th October

First of all: ITS FRIDAY!! no work for 3 days, yahoo labor weekend. And 2nd.. lastnight, i think i swallowed a bug, i woke up with a really painful scratching in my throat and i couldnt stop coughing and it was hard to breath. Serves itself right for crawling into my mouth tho. I didnt even think i slept with my mouth open?! guess i do now!!! I had a nice massage today. But now my tummy is really sore to touch, like its bruised. AND my nipple was bleeding and my midwife told me to be careful and to go see my doc if it starts again. So im on boobie watch this weekend :) fun fun fun. Little one is still kicking away trying to escape the nest. Work is getting harder as i get more and more tired each day, i had to go home early from work yesterday so i could go to sleep! Hopefully after the weekend i will be all refreshed and new :-) (yeah right)

Thursday 18th October

Lastnight i woke up with cramp in BOTH my calfe muscles! man was that sore. I cant sleep a whole night lately, i keep waking up. thank god its friday tomorrow, sleeping in all day on saturday, i dont care what anyone says, i deserve it after getting up at 6am 5 days in a row!! and yay no work on monday, gotta love labor weekend. Baby is kicking like there is no tomorrow, an i dont mean little kicks, i mean HUGE thumps!!! she is going to be strong like her daddy :)

Tuesday 16th October

I have come to the conclusion that, heartburn hits me at night time. Right before im ready to go to bed, and i am told by everyone i know who has had children that it only gets worse. Along with heartburn, intergestion, crapms, stretching pains and headaches how can ANYTHING get any WORSE? I have to keep telling myself "its all worth it"

Monday 15th October

wow today is eventful! I just had my first sudden wack of intergestion, and MAN IT SUCKS! it was hard to breath and sitting or standing didnt help, but i tried chewing some mint flavoured chewing gum, and it helped heaps! Thank god! i went rushing into the managers office thinking i was dying! haha. I had never had intergestion before, neither heartburn since this past weekend, everything is staring to hit all at once, PLEASE ONE THING AT A TIME!

Monday 15th October

Just had my midwife appointment, she described my little one as perfect! no abnormalities were found at the u/s and everything is going great!

Monday 15th October

My horrible leg cramps have come back with a vengence, i had 5 great night sleeps, then BANG... almost crying at the pain yet not quite realising whats going on as im stil half a sleep. I thought my little one was trying to escape last night, she kept kicking/pushing or head-butting in the same spot for about ten seconds!! (it seems like a long time when it feels your insides are coming out!) I love it though :):) im still so excited to be pregnant, i cant believe it some days, when i was told at 18 not to expect to have any children!! my little miracle. Her mummy and daddy love her SOOO much already.

Monday 8th October

Well this sucks, all my stuff gone :( i tried doing what that lady said to get it all back but no luck for me. could today get any worse? Baby has only kicked once this morning, usually by now she would have kicked more then 20 times. but i guess its only 9am. Little worried, trying to stay calm!! 8 hours and i can go home, have a lemon drink for my cold and get a huge cuddle from Paul. I cant wait.