Well, I have now accepted the fact that when they updated the server all my info was lost for good. Darn. So I guess I need to rewrite everything, but I really dont feel like it. (mood swing) So here is the short version.

Im April, this is my first kid, Im 11 weeks today. I feel ugly, overweight, and sluggish. Although, during a fit of rage on saturday (mood swing) I cleaned my entire house from top to bottom. Even washed the shower curtains, you know the plastic liner that goes inside the tub. Well, I gave it a much deserved scrubbing, Although I guess I could have just bought another one for like 3 bucks, oh well. It made up for the 8 weeks of me being too tired to clean.

Me and the father have a love hate relationship, he swears he loves me, and I keep telling him that I hate him. Hopefully, he will get a clue. Although, he is excited about the parasite that grows within me. (mood swing). I guess I should rethink this bio thing right now. My mood swings have me sounding a little witchy delete the w insert a b. Oh well It is what it is. I hope you enjoy this, and I does lift my spirits to hear from others, so if you have read this far, dont be afraid i wont bite if you drop me a line. Again, mood swings.

Food craving for this month, Cheesy fries, really any potato type with cheese on it.

October 15, 2007-- Okay, so the mood swing arent any better, I have been nicknamed kujo by my family, no one is safe....but I have noticed that the MS has started up again this week. I have been better since about week 8 then Wham!!! Not only am I pissed all day now I'm nauseated and gagging. Oh Joy!!! I had to break down and buy my first Maternity pants this weekend. Wow!!! I would like to thank the lady that came up with them. I can breathe again. Now I dont need a rubber band to hold my britches together because I could neither button nor zip. To be fair its not the kids fault. I've gained about 40lbs in two years, and I refused to by new clothes until I lost the weight. The same week I to start my new workout plan with the trainer, I found out I was preggers. So much for that! I have decided to just enjoy this, and come May, its crunch time.

Food craving today: Cheese covered potato wedges and pickles. Delicious!

Happy Fat days to all!

October 17, 2007: Okay, word to the wise, Thai food, no good during pregnancy. Got some late on tuesday night, woke up wednesday with the food poisoning. OH Joy! Needless to say by the end of the night, I was eating a steak and a potato w/ a green salad. Don't you love being pregnant, nothing will stop you. Last night, and for the last couple nights, I believe that I have felt the parasite move. Kinda freaky. Either that or just my vivid imagination. Funny thing, I have been having great erotic dreams to the point that I think their real, but when I look at my bf, all I see is hate and I dont want him to touch me. Is this normal? Oh well, I can always keep dreaming.

October 26, 2007 Alright, I'm now tired of being tired! I went to the doc yesterday for the regular checkup thing, and he comes in an is like how's it going, Im like Doc, I over it, I'm really over it. The whole baby thing was cute at first, now I'm done! I just want it to pop out and go to college. He was like its cool, your fine, what your feeling is normal, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like doc. WAIT a minute. I chose you because you were non chalant and not one of those, gushing docs. Right now I need you to be that guy! He just started laughing at me, I mean really laughing, he told me not to worry. He just forgot who he was dealing with, then asked me how the case went that I was working on, I was like thank you for being normal. Then in true prego fashion, I got the hear the heartbeat for the first time. 152 bpm. Awesome. Then, I got all emotional on the doc, and was like, the parasite, its really real.....He again proceeds to laugh hysterically. He states that he needs to make sure he's on call the night I deliver, because he doesnt want to miss a minute of my insanity. It was a quick appt. but a good one. I guess this whole thing isnt as crappy as I make it out to be. But, I will be one of those mothers that guilt their child into submission for all the hell they went through. I mean really, its my right.

Food craving: 2 nights this week I have gobbled on a medium thin crust sausage and pinnapple extra sauce pizza from dominos...yummy!

October 30,2007: So, I know it isn't like me to write w/in such a short time but I have some things to get off my chest. Well, more like out of my chest. Okay, why is it that everytime I grow with this kid, I get gas? It was like my first symptom before I knew I was even knocked up. Had bad gas to the point that even I, who cares very little about others, was concerned for their safety. Well this past weekend, Thats all I had, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt sit in good positions, and I couldnt stand to be in the room with myself. It was in my chest, up my back, and I swear I thought I was having a heart attack. But no, then I realized, my body was expanding for the little parasite. And all I really want to do is just poot! Will someone please allow me to poot! Funny story. From the beginning of this whole thing my mother has been calling the parasite, Simon, I didnt think anything of it, just kept letting her know that I will not be naming my kid Simon (not that I dont like the name it was just this guy I used to work with that got on my last nerve) So finally, I ask her why in the heck do you keep calling the parasite simon? We dont even know if it is a boy yet. Well, finally she lets me know. Get this, my dad and brother are both named Alvin, So she's like I already have an Alvin, your gonna give me Simon, and your brother will have Theodore. Im not Oh Hell NAW! Ma! your sicker than I am. .....Any hoo Have a good day!

Food craving: Peanut butter and apple jelly sandwich w/ a pickle on the side.

November 10, 2007: Well, I had a dr's appt on Thursday. Not really exciting, I waited to see the Dr. longer then I actually saw him. Oh well, I will not complain. Heartbeat was good approx 162. I do have a new symptom, Its called murderous dreams. I think this is a form of mood swing, that I can't control. For example, last night, I dreamt I killed my brother. Mind you I love my brother, we're close as twins without being twins. Well in my dream he was giving a speech, which off the bat was weird because he doesn't give speeches, he's too shy. And I don't know what happened it was a room full of people, and I was in the back row, and my brother transformed in to my BF, so I took off my stilleto and threw it at him, Some how my Nine west pump whipped through the crowd of people, and stabbed him in the side. But, as he was falling to the floor, he changed back into my brother. And then I proceed to fly through the air to his side (Like im supergirl or somebody), as I sit there crying WHY WHY WHY! he looks at me and is like I know you didnt mean it Sis, but you know you have big F'in feet, why in the hell would you throw your shoe at me, and then he dies. Mind you, I woke up and almost cried because I thought my brother was dead and not the BF. But, then I was mad because the bastard told me my feet where huge. Then, as I wiped the crust out of my eyes, I realized that it was a dream. Im like damn, do I have a wish to kill? or am I just crazy? I have decided that Im crazy, and I will Blame the parasite, who shall now based off of his current size, shall from this point on be called Cleatus the Fetus. Welp, I guess, Im supposed to talk about my preggo symptoms, I have swollen feet and hands, I get migraines, and I still throw up. I had another dream where I and a friend od'd on liquid crystal meth. Im like why in the hell would I even be around crystal meth, let alone take it. But, its one of the many dreams that I have. Thank you Cleatus!

Food Cravings: Hello, my name is Jared, and I'm on the Subway diet. I have had one everyday this week.

December 7, 2007: Okay, I guess the kid is like its mother. I went for the BIG APPT. yesterday, and you know what I am having? drum roll please........................

An onry ClEATUS!!! I have no I idea what he/she/it is because the little sucker wouldn't open its legs so we could get a good shot. Not only was cleatus's legs crossed but so were its' arms. It seemed as if it was shaking its' head at me an saying, Im not gonna tell, and your not gonna find out. So there! I don't know whether to be proud or pissed. Proud that my child to be is SOOOOO like its mother. or Pissed because I really wanted to know. But OH WELL! , I rescheduled for another ultrasound for Dec. 20, which is my mom's birthday. So we will give it another go. Other than that, not much excitment on my front. I still have well placed mood swings, I didn't gain any weight (Yippee) and I'm craving meat like all the time.

Food craving: Green beans. I opened a can and started chowing down yesterday. Delicious!

December 21, 2007: Well as I feared....Im having a BOY!!! No, really, Im super excited (excuse me while I try to contain some of my gushyness...) He was too cute in the ultrasound yesterday. He was all over the place, everytime the lady went to get a picture or a measurment he would more, block the picture with his hands, or do a somersault. I was like...if that ain't my child. My mom was all excited. It was my gift for her birthday. She had a ball. My appt. lasted over an hour because they were testing out some new ultrasound machines, and asked if I'd mind being a guinea pig. OF course I didn't. I even got some 4D shots for free. although being that little still he looked like a blob. it was too cute. Okay, Im done. I now have come to terms that the baby is not just a parasite, but a real person...But it still freaks me out a little.

January 30, 2008: Well, today I am walking into 27 weeks preggo. All I have to say is THIS SUCKS! I feel like I'm in a first trimester nightmare with a few more symptoms like inability to get comfortable, swollen feet, constant headache, constant backache, and a sore shoulder due to the fact that I can only sleep on one side. I mean back is the upset stomach, sensitivity to smells, tender boobies, and ability to throw up good meals. DARN you baby! I did have a few glorious weeks from week 18 to 24 where I felt ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! I miss that feeling. So, I guess I should update about the baby. Per my last post, I am having a baby boy. His name will be Alexander Samuel, however he does have a range of nicknames (depending on my mood...oh, those swings are back!) I have retired parasite, Cleatus the Fetus, and have attempted to expel Simon from my mom's vocabulary. I have decided I am going to nickname Alexander, "SPOT" ! I gave this some serious though, and being that the only thing that I know how to take care of is a dog...SPOT is the new DUKE (who currently thinks he is my baby, duke is my 2 year old fox terrier). I have even decided upon his nursery theme: puppy dogs...I found the cutest set from target...I knew they made things for women like me. Now I have rec'd some flack from the nickname spot, but It behooves me to find one reason why I can't? Plus, I think its funny! My son will have to have a good sense of humor if he is going to be in my family. My nickname growing up was "Applehead" if you scroll up to my profile pick, there is a good demonstration on where that came from, my brother's nickname was "BAM BAM" I.E. Barney and Betty Rebbels son. If you saw him, his strength would awe you. My dad's nickname was "Alpo" (dog food) and my Mom's was .....I dont really know...no one will tell me...I think she has a contract out on anyone who reveals it. Oh well, I think I have rambled enough....a good excuse not to do my job. But, you should see the crib sheet I found (it has dog bones on it) :)

Food Craving: Yo Quiero Taco Bell! I have eaten 2 baja beef chalupas, and a crunchy taco for dinner for the last 6 nights. Yumm....I want one now.

March 20, 2008 Well, I haven't updated in a while so let me see. I am now 34 weeks preggo. I have been a naughty chick, last week I landed in the hospital due to my inability to recognize contractions, and the fact that I had a serious bladder infection. I mean c'mon, It didn't even feel like the normal type, it felt more like some one punched me in my vajajay. Hmm....Oh well. Now, due to chronic high blood pressure and an enlarged heart (I've had since I was 20), I now have to take 2 NST a week and see the doc every week. Needless to say this is killing my leave that I have built up for maternity leave. THIS IS WHY I LOVE WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT. I now qualify for a program that lets me flex my work day, so hopefully that will help out until the bitter end.

Some things I have changed since first finding out I was preggo. Well the BF finally realized that I was serious when I said that I hate him....I mean I'm caviar and he's the blue plate special, I can do so much better for myself. Though it was hard to leave him, I had four years of being an idiot...but hey, I had no real responsibilities I was just a single gal in the city. We are trying to find a neutral ground, because he so desparately wants to be apart of the kids life. Even after I told him hey, I appreciate the donation but I really don't need you. Always remember that! (I can be very cold hearted at times). I moved back home with the parents, my mother insisted. she has been begging us for a grandchild since we went to college, like she just knew one of us were gonna fall preggo after some silly fling. Luckily though, none of us did...until now. It has been fun though, it kinda healed my family me moving back home. They NEVER liked the BF. Actually, they more like HATED him. So that caused a rift b/t me and them for years. Now, its like family fun house. My brother lives at home too...he's too cheap to move out (he's an accountant, so you do the math). So its like old times at home again. I have found my brother a girlfriend though, she is so wonderful. I told him and her both that I plan on them getting married so don't disappoint me. My mother and I have connected through this whole process like never before. I never had that betty crocker mom. My mom was sorta cold and mean, not in a horrible way or anything, but that was just her personality (one that I have too might I add); but getting pregnant, I now understand her. She bottles her emotions, so I realize now that she tried to show her motherly love the best way she could. Though, now that I am going through this we both are now laughing and talking all the time, its really neat. I thought it was a awful joke god played on me when I got pregnant, now I realize that it was his way of sending me (the prodical daughter) back home. I never really had the how am I going to raise a child worries, it was more like how am I going to change my life for a child. I mean, I'm a giver, but I am also so selfish, and now I have to become selfless for someone else, its fun to learn how to really do that, from the people who did it for me. OKAY ENOUGH OF THE GUSHY CRAP!

I had a dream the other day that I was being attacked by baby alligator's. I couldn't get away from them. I was beating them with sticks, throwing rocks, kicking them. Nothing worked. Apparently, I was screaming out for my brother to help me, and crying because my mom came into the room and was like April, April wake up. Now can somebody analyze that crap for me? Is it the impending doom of mother hood, that I can hide from it? Or is it just that I shouldn't have had that steak before bed? Anyhoo!

I have decided to name poor spot: Alexander Samuel Gilmore-Allen. I have been debating on whether or not to give my kid the dad's last name. What would you do? Well thats all for now. HOLLA!

Food Craving: Mashed potatoes and gravy w/ a green salad. Mango-Peach Blended Smoothies...yummmyyy I get one today!

April 3, 2008: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! I guess since Im excited to be older...wiser...cuter...smarter...and "fatter"... Its my birthday, and keep wanting to go into labor and have my kid on my birthday...is that selfish? My oldest brother and I were born exactly 5 years apart. I was born on his 5th birthday, my mom was on her way to his birthday party (which was easter Sunday) but she had to make a quick stop. So this morning he and I celebrated with the usual phone call and called each other old. We both have reached milestones in our lives and its sorta cool to share that with him.

So I guess I should move on....Well, I am now the proud Internet auntie to my Prego Myspace pal BHelton. She welcomed on March 31st a little lady killer name Cooper. He's too precious. His birth made me realize how real this is. Laura was a champ! Congrats Chica! I have officially told the people I work with that I am having a kid. (I am nine months now) You would be surprised to know how many folks did not even realize. It was kinda funny. To my credit, I never gained any weight with this pregnancy. I am actually down 7 lbs from my starting weight. Spot, however, is measuring perfect (he is also measuring above the charts in length so we will see). I have been getting weekly check ups since week 33. I have chronic hypertension and an enlarged heart so they have been monitoring me closely since the beginning. Although, the entire pregnancy my blood pressure has been remarkably under control, I have however, joined the Protein Pee Pee club, which means preeclampsia may be in my distant future. So as a result I go to the docs 3 times a week (2 Nsts, 1 doc visit). Its sorta time consuming, but its gives me a good reason to leave work twice a week. I am so excited to meet this person/parasite that has chosen me. I finally got his crib, stroller, car seat, and things on tuesday. I plan on putting together his nursery this weekend. But you know me, it may never happen. But he is loved. His father and I are actually doing pretty good. NO I am not back together with him, but he has realized what he has missed by being and idiot. We had a long conversation last night about why we ended up where we are, and he acknowledged (finally) his stupidity, and I as well. I haven't decided what to do about spot's name yet, but at least there is peace in the world in preparation for his arrival. And truly thats all I really wanted. I never want to be at odds with the father, I never wanted to be one of "those" women. I told him up front its up to him how much or how little he was involved, and not to be fooled into thinking that I needed him for anything, I am a independent successful female, all I have ever wanted from him is for him to be responsible and be there, if he couldn't he wasn't doing me any favors by half stepping it, and I can do bad by my Darn self. He knows me and he knows how serious I am.

At first I felt like a failure returning to my parents home, pregnant, and with a failed "I told you so" type of relationship with my folks, but in the end, I know I can afford to be on my own, but my folks want to give me all the support during this time of my life. I realize how truly lucky I am to have them. Plus, how fun is it to have live in baby sitters! LOL...

So HAPPY 25th Birthday to me! and many more!

Food craving: Coca-cola! YEAH YEAH I KNOW! but c'mon Its America's favorite cola!

June 6, 2008

SO I FINALLY GAVE BIRTH!!!

I know this is like five weeks late but hey shoot me. I'm a first time mom. Whew! Who would have thunk it! Well, here's the birth story

Alex's Birth Story

I was to be induce on Sunday, April 27, 2008, due to the fact that I was high risk but doing so well my doc didnt want to risk me taking a turn for the worse. So I went to the hospital that night, and rec'd cervidil, mind you I had been contracting steadily for like two weeks but with no progress. I got the cervidil and rec'd my last meal for two days, a nasty cold Wendy's hamburger...yuck! I woke up the next morning for my last bath for three days (keep reading to find out why) So at around five that morning I got to shit, shower, and shave (as I call it)...then they began Pitocin....This is part was the absolute worse. I guess God punished me with rolling veins. When I first got to the hospital they couldn't get the damn IV in, on my right arm I was stuck four times, then the third nurse came in and finally got a poke on my left hand...(this was most uncomfortable because for the next 12 hours I would continue to tugg it due to it being on the left side and all the equipment on my right.) They then gave me pitocin...I barely felt any contractions before my nurse kept asking if I was ready for the epidural...it was around seven o'clock that my doc came in and broke my water...that was the last labor related thing I felt. My nurse kept asking if I wanted the epi...I told her that I wasnt in any pain yet, she said that the anesthesist might be busy around the time my severe pain kicked in due to three c-sections that were scheduled for that day, and the fact that three other chicks were being induced too. I was like okay..bring on the drugs....THIS WAS THE WORSE EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE....After being stuck six times while they were searching for my vein, after they took my blood, and the nurse messed up the labeling of my tubes, so blood bank returned to retake all my blood, (did I mention my needle phobia..) I was now getting and epi. He numb the area fine, however, while trying to get the tube thingy in, he hit my nerve, which caused my leg to kick the nurse, and me to burst into tears, then he stopped and tried again, to hit the damn nerve again, which my poor nurse had to hold me down with all her might to keep from punching her....it was horrible. But they got it in. Once I was numb, they inserted a cather which I would keep up the whooha for 3 days. Then we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited...by that afternoon around five, I was only dialated to five centimeters, but they said that I was in very hard labor, my doc (who to this day I believe was ready to go home started hollering c-section)...but my gracious nurse was fudging my numbers to buy me some dialating time to keep from having the c-section....well, after a thirty minute period of about four different people sticking their arms up my "kisha", me having to flip in different positions (mind you im numb from the waist down because I have been on a steady drip since nine that morning)....nothing...Now Baby Alex was tired, he had a enough, and whilst the doc and 3 nurses were deciding whether to give me a c-section, his heart rate dropped, severly, so that confirmed it...I would be cut open. Damn, Damn, Damn.

So like an ten minutes later, I was wheeled to the OR, my mother was gowned, I was completely drugged, and I was on the table. My doc and his assistants were discussing not my health, or the strategy for retrieving my parasite, but GEORGE MICHEAL's Greatest hits!!! They started singing WHAM! I looked at my mother, and was like...This is so my life, My doc and his nurses broke out the chorus of "Wake me UP" while they sliced me open. I had been drugged up for so long that I was twilighting the whole time, they they said April look up and see your baby, I'm looking around like where is it, I dont see it, then my mom said look up, I looked up and saw an old white man....This whole pregnancy I wondered what I would do or say when I saw the parasite, would I say, awww, I love him, he's so beautiful....nope....I yell out, "Nuh uh, thats not my baby, he's white....and then proceeded to cry....My mother and the whole room fell out laughing...my child didnt cry like the babys did on tv he sounded like a grown man, it was funny....

The crazy part is they whisk him away then I proceed to panic on the table and dry heave, the anesthesist had to give me some drug, which made me even more loopy. Also, because they hit my nerves, I couldnt walk for three days, so I sat in bed dirty and drugged holding my little old white man...How precious!

Though, all jokes aside, Alexander Samuel Gilmore (notice I kept my last name, and I didnt put the daddy on the birth certificate...thanks to the comment of many here)...was born, I couldn't be happier...Even though he choose to come through the window, instead of the door....

HOLLA!