September 9th, We have a heartbeat!!!!!!

August 22nd, We got our BFP!!!

August 1st,

Well we are still trying. This part is worse than morning sickness. Good luck to all who are trying and to those that are pregnant.

May 18th,

Well all we are trying to get pregnant again. Hopefully we will find out in the next few days if there is a little one on the way again. Good luck to all who are trying and to all that are expecting.

April 17th

We got Alexander's test results back and they were good for the most part. We found out that what went wrong with him was not genetic or chromosomal. We will never actually know what went wrong with his insides. Chormosomaly speaking he was a perfect 46XY. Thats the way that the doctor put it. They said that this should never happen again and that it was just one of those rare things. The doctor said that she thinks that it might be because my body was trying to abort the pregnancy from the beginning. She was amazed at how long he was able to hang on. My family says he hung on so long because he had my strength and my fight. I fought to keep him and he fought to live.

March 27th

Well we went for our 2 week post delivery checkup and we still do not have the test results for Xander yet. They said that it may take 4 more weeks for them to get in. I should be able to go back to work in a few weeks. My doctor said when ever I feel ready she will give me a note. We got Xander back from the mortuary yesterday, and they did an amazing job. I will get some pictures on here as soon as I can.

March 12th

Well all our sweet little boy Alexander Joseph was born at 0701 Monday March 11th after 10 hours of labor that was all in my back. He was so prefect. We found out when we got to the hospital that he was still alive and were just praying that he would last long enough to make it in to the world, but the stress of labor was just too much for his little heart that was already under so much pressure. He was 14oz and 9 1/2in long. He had my husbands mouth and ears. He got my 1 dimple and it is even on the same side of the face as mine. He got my dads bowed out pinky fingers and my mother-in-laws crossed toes on one foot. He had a great mix of all of us. We were all amazed that he had hair already. Little eyelashes, eye brows, spots of hair on his head, and even a little moustache. All of his hair was strawberry blond. They said had I been term he would have had a full head of hair. I wish we could of seen what color of eyes he had, but they were not opened yet. It was the hardest day of my life. I knew that I was there to have a baby, but when it came time to push a little I did not want to. I knew that if I did that it would be over and he would not be part of me anymore and that I was going to lose him. We still did not know boy or girl when he was born that was my second question when he came out. The first was is he alive? We had chaplin of the hospital come and bless him. It was nice that I got to give birth at the hospital that I work at. I got to pick my own nurses, because I work in labor and delivery I know all of them. My day shift nurse just got on when I delivered, and she lost a baby at 24 weeks a little boy as well so she knows exactly what we were going through. We took so many pictures, and got a ton of foot and hand prints, but it will still never be enough. We were truely blessed when we found out that the hospital foundation where I work just got a big donation and said that they were going to pay for all of the creamation costs as well as anything else we wanted a service, specialty urn and any other memorial related costs. The hardest thing that I had to do yesterday was sign all of the papers, death certificate, stillborn birth certificate, and the hardest the creamation paper. I wish so much that I could have kept Xander just the way thay he was forever. Today we went to pick out his urn, and asked for a little velvet bag of some of tha ashes so we can put them in plants, so we can have one, Daniel's parents, and my parents. That way he will live, and we all have a part of him. Right now the hardest thing for me physicaly is trying to stop my milk from coming in. I have to wear an ace bandage wraped tight around them, ice them, and avoid getting them wet, and warm water on them at all costs. I cant do anything that will stimulate them in any way. I am still getting some milk, but they said if I do what I am doing it should dry up in a few weeks. I am going to put up some pictures if you want to look, but I must warn you that his skin is not that of normal term baby. It is dark and redish. I want to thank all of you for your support, blessings, and prayers. Please continue to pray for us. We are planning on trying again latter this year. Probably in November or December. We send love, and hope for safe and happy pregnancies for all of you.

Sarah, Daniel, and the spirit of Xander

Well the news today was not good when we went for a follow up ultrasound to check on the baby. We had 3 people come in to do the ultrasound and they all said the same thing. Ther is no fluid around the baby and there are some chromosomal abnormalities that they have not seen on the previous ultrasounds. They could not find the bladder or the kidneys and all of the fluid that should be around the baby is trapped on the inside of the baby. As a result of the fluid being trapped and applying pressure on the babies heart the baby is in heart failure eventhough for the moment the baby is still alive. So some time this weekend or Monday at the latest we will be called into the hospital to get labor started. They said that this is a chromosomal abnormality and there is nothing that could be done differently to prevent it. They also said that the chances of this happening are anout 1 in a million, and now that it has happend that the chances of this happening again in another pregnancy are even smaller. As all of you can imagine our families and I are not taking this news very well, so if you guys could please keep us in your thoughts and prayers we could all really use some more strength. I hope everyones elses babies are doing great and you are all in good health. With much love. Sarah

Hi I am a first time pregers and new to all of this. I am scred, excited, and worried all at the same time.What I want more than anything is for everything to be ok.

February 17th

Well I just got released from the hospital today which is good news. My husband had to take me to the hospital on thursday for heavy bleeding and passing a big clot at home. Thank God the baby is ok it is perfect. however, they found that the blood clot that they found in December has gotten very big andgrown behind my placenta making a very dangerous situation for me and the baby. Now our normal pregnancy has turned into a high risk one. So I am now on bed rest until I deliver. The big goal is for me to get to 32 weeks, but they are not going to let me go past 34 weeks. I can get up to go to the bathroom and to take a shower, but that is about it. I am allowed to get out of the house, but I have to be in a wheelchair. There is no working, no exercising, no sex, no crying, and I have to try to keep my anxiety under control. We still do not know the sex of the baby it just will not let us see those parts. I will keep everyone up dated as we get new information. Please keep us in your prayers, and good luck with everyones babies.

January 6th

Just a little update from Daniel and I. So far things are going better than they were to begin with, thank you to those of you that have kept us in your prayers. For almost a week now I have had no spotting or bleeding. I am hopeful that that is a good sign that the subchorionic hematoma has gone away. Since the bleeding at 9 weeks it was non stop old blood spotting all day and I was so stressed. As for the bump I have noticed a pouch forming in my lower abdomin. I just thought it was me wishful thinking, but I think it was confirmed tonight at work when one of my co workers told me that I was starting to pop out. I am a big girl granted, but I have never had much of a tummy and now I do. I caould not be more excited. Hope all is well with everyone else.