WEEK 12

Sunday, December 2: I finally made it to week 12! I can't believe it. I'm starting to feel total happiness creep up but I keep pushing it down because I'm too afraid to completely let myself fall for this baby. Each time we listen to its little heartbeat I just melt and then I turn to my husband and have to ask him if he thinks everything is going to be ok. Ridiculous, I know, but hearing him say that everything is going to be fine just makes me feel better. Oh well, I guess one of these days I will be able to relax enough to enjoy this pregnancy!

I felt queasy today, which actually surprised me since I haven't had any morning sickness for a couple of weeks. It wasn't bad but it was definitely annoying. I guess I should try to get some sleep now. Tomorrow is my NT screening and I want to be well rested!

Monday, December 3: Today was the most amazing day of my pregnancy so far. I had my NT scan this morning and I'm still on cloud 9. At first I was a little worried that the doctor would find something abnormal but he said that the baby looks normal and the fluid at the back of the neck is measuring 1.1mm - perfect. I had blood drawn as well and won't get the results back for a few days so we won't have the complete picture until then. We heard the heartbeat, had a regular ultrasound, and a 4d ultrasound. I still can't get over the 4d images. There's a little person growing in me! Baby looks so much more human now and is growing like a weed. At friday's ultrasound baby was 4.92 cm and today it was up to 5.3 cm. We got a keepsake dvd and some pictures to take home. One of the pictures is a perfect little profile so unbelievably clear that over lunch William and I debated who baby looks like! Lol. Of course it's way too early but it was fun. The doctor wants me back on January 16, when I'm 18 weeks, for the 2nd trimester genetic ultrasound. I'll also probably have an amnio then. One thing a little worrisome is that the doctor said I might have some symptoms of preeclamsia. I'm not sure what he saw but he suggested I start taking baby aspirin. After talking about the spotting I was having we decided I'll wait until my 18 week appointment to reevaluate and then possibly start baby aspirin then. I'm pretty surprised because I consistently have a blood pressure on the lower side. It has gone up a little since I became pregnant but is still normal. I guess I'll be reading up on preeclamsia. Even with that news though, it was an incredible day.

Thursday, December 6: I got the results from my NT scan today. My risk for Down Syndrome is 1:1500 and my risk for trisomy 18 is 1:10,000. Yay! I feel really good about those numbers. According to my doctor, my risk for Down Syndrome is less than the average risk for a 20 year old. I think those are pretty good odds! I go back at 18 weeks for genetic ultrasound so I hope that we continue to get good news. We still need to decide whether to go ahead with amnio. My doc thinks it's not a bad idea and I have the utmost confidence in him. He's done upwards of 30,000 amnios over the course of his career. That's an amazing number. I asked what his specific risk for amnio related miscarriage is and it's 1:1600, which is much better than the average overall. William really thinks we should do the amnio and I have to say that I'm inclined to agree with him. That doesn't mean that I'm not afraid of the risk of miscarriage, however small that risk might be. I guess I have some time to make my decision though.

Friday, December 7: I'm feeling a little down and so tired today! It's been a rainy day so maybe that has something to do with it, although I usually love a good rain. I don't know why I'm feeling like this but it must be hormonal. Last night we got out the doppler to listen to baby's heartbeat and found it instantly. Maybe I should just think about that and try to cheer up. Or maybe I'll take a nap...

Sunday, December 9: My first day in week 13! I can't believe I've made it this far. I just hope that things continue to go well. My parents drove up today and the four of us went to lunch and did some shopping. Afterwards they came over to our house and we sat around playing with our dog, watching tv, and talking. Of course I had to get the fetal doppler monitor out and almost instantly I found the heartbeat. My parents were really excited - it's the first time they got to hear it.. It turns out that it's the first time ever that my dad has heard that amazing sound. I guess back in the day dads didn't really attend prenatal appointments. He just sat there with a silly grin on his face, it was pretty cute.

Tonight I was sitting on the couch watching tv. I had my feet up on the coffee table and I was sort of sitting on my left hip and all of a sudden I felt 3 hard taps. It startled me! I think it was my little one but I don't know how to tell for sure. For the past week I've been feeling weird things in there and I keep thinking it's baby but everyone says it's probably gas so I've been sort of dismissing what I've been feeling but I think tonight's taps were something different. Oh, I hope it was baby! I started laughing because it felt like s/he was telling me to change positions because s/he was getting squished in there from the weird way I was sitting. I'm smiling just thinking about it. I wonder if I'll feel anything tomorrow.

Monday, December 10: Ughghgh, the morning sickness is back. I had been feeling really good for the last couple of weeks but for the last three days I've been gradually feeling worse and worse. I'm not feeling nauseated all day, which is good, but I'm so sensitive to smells! This morning my dog did something that was pretty stinky and I thought I was going to die from the smell. Lol. I ran outside and willed myself not to throw up. The other thing I'm having a problem with is brushing my teeth. My gag reflex is just so sensitive right now. The worst is trying to brush my tongue - I really haven't been able to get but a few swipes at my tongue for the last few weeks. Oh, I hope this new bout of morning sickness doesn't stick around too long.

Wednesday, December 12: I had my 13-week appointment this morning. I was hoping for an ultrasound but didn't get one. We listened to baby's heart (always so amazing), talked about the results from my NT scan, and the pros and cons of doing an amnio. My doctor referred me to have the AFP test but said that if I opt for the amnio I don't need to do the AFP. Overall it was a really uneventful appointment. I guess I got used to having an ultrasound at each appointment but that was because I was spotting. I should be grateful the spotting has stopped and not be too disappointed about not getting an ultrasound! My next scan will be at 18 weeks and hopefully we'll be able to find out the sex. I can't wait!

Friday, December 14: I finally broke down and decided to buy some maternity clothes today. I think not being able to button my jeans anymore was a definite sign that it was time to make the transition. I dragged William with me and it was actually a lot of fun. The jeans and pants aren't as ugly as I had imagined them to be and wow, are they ever comfortable. I also got a couple of tops even though I can still wear my "normal" ones. What I'm in dire need of is bras!

Sunday, December 16: My first day in the 2nd trimester!! I can't believe I've made it this far. I'm so happy and feeling a little more relieved although in the back of my mind I still have fears that something will go wrong. I've been having very vivid dreams but I guess the one that really sticks in my mind is the one I had of my paternal grandmother. She died before my parents even met so obviously I never had the chance to know her. I had a dream that she came to me and told me that I'm having a little girl. I woke up feeling so happy and comforted. I feel like my grandmother is watching over baby and me.

WEEK 15

Sunday, December 23: My first day in week 15! Only 3 more weeks until my next ultrasound - I can't wait. I'm so exhausted from all the shopping and cooking we've been doing. Tomorrow my family and friends are coming for dinner and we've had so much to do. William came down with a cold so he's not functioning too well and I've had a headache all day. I threw up for the first time tonight after brushing my teeth. All my efforts at willing myself not to throw up didn't work this time. Isn't the 2nd trimester supposed to be a cake walk compared to the 1st trimester??

Wednesday, December 26: Our holiday was really nice. My whole family and some friends came over on Christmas Eve and we had so much fun. William and I cooked for 2 days and served up a feast. We ate for around 5 hours! All that work definitely took its toll on my body though. I was so exhausted and achy by the end of the night. I finally got some good sleep though. Yesterday, we just relaxed, ate leftovers, and thought about how next year at this time our little one will be here to celebrate with us. I still can't quite wrap my mind around it but I'm really looking forward to it.

WEEK 16

Sunday, December 30: Today is my first day in week 16. I started to feel so much more at ease with the idea that maybe things with this pregnancy are going to be ok. I want to feel relaxed and enjoy it but I feel like I’m going to jinx myself if I get too comfortable. I think I’m just insane. We spent the last couple of days visiting my parents and it was pure bliss! We slept, watched movies, and ate. My parents take such good care of us and are really spoiling me right now. Whatever I feel like eating they will either go buy or make it for me. My father believes that pregnant women should eat a lot, without regard to how much weight is gained. I only wish I could feel the same way! I want to gain the appropriate amount of weight but I have to admit that I’m very conscious of how much I’m eating and how much I’ve gained. I’ve gained 7 pounds so far but I feel enormous! I’m really showing now and I love my little bump. I don’t know if I’m slow to catch on or what but each day that I examine my body I’m always amazed that my belly is really growing. I guess at some point my brain will catch up with my body. Lol.

Tuesday, January 1: It's the first day of the New Year and the year of my little one's birth!

WEEK 17

Sunday, January 6: I’m so happy to be in week 17. I’ve generally been feeling pretty great except for a little fatigue. I haven’t even had a headache in about 3 days. I’ve been feeling my little one moving around and kicking much more strongly for about a week. S/he is so active, especially at night after dinner. I really look forward to that time. Since nobody can feel baby externally yet it’s like my little secret. William and I will be sitting on the couch and suddenly I’ll feel my baby squirming around and it just makes me smile. Each day I just fall more deeply in love with this little life inside me.

Tuesday, January 8: My little peach has been kicking me all day! The movements are so distinctly kicks as opposed to the squiggly feeling that I had earlier. At times it really startles me! I tried to recreate the feeling on William’s arm and he couldn’t stop giggling. It was pretty cute. He absolutely loves it when I tell him the baby is kicking me. I can’t wait for him to be able to feel it too!

Wednesday, January 9: I had my 17-week appointment today. It went really well and I’m starting to feel very comfortable with my doctor. She’s so willing to answer all my questions and even hangs out with me after just talking and laughing. We listened to baby’s heart and heard some odd noises that William and I had always assumed were just static or some sort of interference. It turns out it’s the sound of my little one kicking and punching! I had no idea that’s what that was. When we use the doppler at home now we listen for that sound and it just makes us laugh. The good news is that my doctor lifted my restriction on exercise and sex! Yay! I haven’t had any spotting for a long time now so hopefully I’m in the clear. I also told her about all my troubles with my back and she referred me to a physical therapist so I start that next week. Also next week is when we will find out our little one’s sex. I’m so excited.

Friday, January 11: Last night we were in bed talking and William decided to sing a lullaby to my belly. It was so sweet and of course I started crying since these days I’m a waterworks. Ugh, hormones. He’s going to be such an amazing father. I’m so lucky.

WEEK 18

Sunday, January 13: I made it to week 18! I’ve been feeling well the last few days. My back is much better and I haven’t had a headache in a week! I haven’t been feeling my little one too much the last couple of days and I’m really missing the little squirms and kicks. When I get nervous about the lack of movement I get out the doppler and listen its little heart beating. Baby must be facing my back or something. I have my appointment with the perinatologist on Thursday for my anatomy scan. I’m very excited but a little nervous too. I hope we will get to find out what we’re having. I still haven’t been able to make up my mind about whether to have the amnio. I know I’m being silly about being so fearful but I just can’t seem to get over it. William would really like me to have it but he says he’ll respect any decision I make. I think at this point we’re just going to wait to speak with the genetic counselor and wait to see what my doctor says about the anatomy scan. If things look good then we may skip the amnio. I hope things look good!

Thursday, January 17: I had my anatomy scan this morning and we found out we’re having a boy!! I’m in a complete state of shock because I was totally convinced that I was having a girl. In fact, everyone in my family thought I was having a girl. The appointment was great except I still have no idea what I was looking at on the ultrasound. Also, we didn’t get very good pictures this time and I never got to see my little boy’s face because for most of the exam he was turned towards my back. The good thing is my baby is healthy. That’s really all I care about. He weighed 9 oz. – my doctor tells me that’s the 45^th percentile. I’m happy with the middle, not too big and not too small. I decided not to do the amnio, at least for now. I just couldn’t get over my fears and my doctor says I have a couple of weeks if I decide to change my mind. I just can’t wait to meet my little boy. I don’t think June can get here soon enough!

Friday, January 18: William got to feel the baby kick tonight! We were watching t.v. and the baby started kicking me so I took William’s hand and put it on my belly and he felt the little kick! He was so excited. I think this is beginning to feel more and more real to him.

WEEK 19

Sunday, January 20: First day in week 19. I can’t believe I’m almost half way through this pregnancy. My back is acting up again and I’ve either been in bed or on the couch all weekend. So painful! I can’t stand up for very long and I’m sick of being immobile – it’s just been a crappy weekend. Tonight we were listening to our little boy’s heart beat and as soon as I put the doppler thing on my belly I got a huge kick. We were cracking up. I don’t think my little one is too crazy about the doppler. He’s always running (or swimming) away from it and today he took out all his aggression on the damn thing. Lol.

WEEK 20!!!

Sunday, January 27: Halfway to getting to meet my little boy! Despite the problems I had earlier in the pregnancy time has really gone by quickly, especially these last two or three weeks. I think the remaining 20 weeks are going to fly by but the closer I get to the birth the more fearful of it I’m becoming.

We finally did some shopping and planning for the baby this weekend. I’ve been so afraid to buy anything or to even think about a nursery so it’s a big deal that we were able to do that. We went to a couple of stores to get ideas about cribs and other nursery furniture and we bought our little boy his very first outfit! It’s adorable – little black shorts, a grey striped t-shirt, and a black cardigan. I showed it to my mom today and she turned her nose up a little because she doesn’t get why I would dress a baby in black. She ended up warming up to it and finally admitted it was cute. I’m not really into frilly baby things though so I guess she’s going to have to get used to it! Lol.

Tuesday, January 29: My little one must have really loved what I had for breakfast this morning because he was just kicking and moving up a storm. I could feel it so strongly from the outside and when I glanced down I could see my belly jiggling with each kick. It was amazing! I didn’t think that would happen until much later. Later in the morning we went back to the perinatologist for a follow-up scan. After our anatomy scan last week we learned that other people had 30-45 minute scan and ours lasted only about 10 minutes. We got concerned that maybe not enough time was spent with us so I called the peri’s office and they were very understanding. Apparently, he only spends about 10 minutes with all of his patients unless he sees a problem. He’s been doing this for a very long time so he knows exactly what he’s looking for. I guess logically I knew that he got all the measurements but I still couldn’t help but worry. I mean, this guy is at the forefront of his profession, has published numerous studies, and was even called to testify before the NIH. I think he’s sufficiently good at doing his thing. Lol. Anyway, his office understood our concerns, especially since we had been on the fence about doing an amnio, so he invited us back to show us exactly what he looked at. He walked us through each organ, limb, and movement and William and I couldn’t have been happier. We got a new dvd and new pics as well. Of course we came home and watched the dvd and William is convinced the little one looks like me. I guess we will soon find out!

Thursday, January 31: I got the results of my AFP screening today and everything is negative! I’m so relieved. This just helps to reassure us that we made the right choice by skipping the amnio – I hope!

WEEK 21

Tuesday, February 5: I’ve been feeling pretty great the last few days. The only thing I really have to complain about is this bad case of insomnia I’ve been having. I don’t feel stressed or anything so I’m not sure what’s going on. Well, maybe part of is that I start thinking about the baby at night and my mind starts going and I just can’t stop it long enough to get drowsy. I just keep trying to imagine what my little boy is going to look like, what he’s going to be like, what he will grow up to do. I’ve been feeling him kick much more regularly now but the best part is seeing my belly move with his movements. It just makes me laugh knowing he’s in there learning how to use his little arms and legs. William has seen it a few times but more often than not, as soon as he looks, the little one stops moving. He’s already a prankster!

Friday, February 8: I had my regular OB appointment today. We did the usual weigh in, urine sample, blood pressure, and baby’s heart. For the first time my doctor measured my fundal height and I’m exactly where I should be. I have to start taking an iron supplement, which I’m not thrilled about since I’ve heard that it can cause stomach upset and constipation. I also got all the pre-registration forms for the hospital and all the information for the birthing classes. I can’t wait for the classes to start!

WEEK 22

Sunday, February 10: I don’t have that much new to report. William and I selected the dates for the birthing classes. We signed up for 7 classes, which go until mid May. We will tour the hospital in a couple of weeks.

WEEK 23

WEEK 24

WEEK 25