More....

I am a 33 year old mother to a beautiful 9 year old named Malea Hannah and a beautiful five month old named Keely Reese. Much to my surprise I recently found out that I am pregnant with twins. I am going to have my hands full. I am still going through the shock of having twins and I am not sure when it will wear off. I will have three in diapers, car seats, cribs, strollers, etc.... I could really use some advice if anyone has ever experienced my situation before. I am looking forward to knowing the gender of my twins and just like everyone else I would love to know if they are identical or not.

June 18, 2008

WOW, I didn't realize that I haven't been updating my writings on this page.

Today I am 32 weeks and 6 days but feel 52 weeks. It doesn’t help to be only 5'3" and to have no room for two babies to grow. I am having boys, which is great since I already have to beautiful ladies. My last ultra-sound was about a week ago. I had some disappointing news. Baby B is now breach. I think that explains the excruciating pain I had one evening. I was in tears for hours. This is by far the most miserable pregnancy I have had out of three pregnancies. On a good note, both boys are weighing in at 4 1/2 lbs each. They said it is unusual for both babies to weigh exactly the same but these guys do. They are also approx. 18" long. I think they are going to some big dudes.

A couple weeks ago, I went into labor three times and each time they stopped my contractions. My doc wants to see me go 36 weeks. I don't want to sound selfish but I honestly feel like I cannot endure this pain much longer. I realize 36 weeks is only 3 weeks away but it feels like an eternity. I am a bear lately. I have my family walking on egg shells. I feel bad for them but I sometimes cannot control myself. I am in so much pain at times that I just lash out at everyone. I know they are just as ready as I am for this to end. Another side of me is not ready for this to end. This will be my last pregnancy as I requested my tubes to be tied. I am also scared because I have a soon to be 10 yr old and a soon to be 11 month old. My 10 yr old is wonderful; my 11 month old is the one that scares me. She is all over the place and into everything. I think it is going to be very challenging to take care of her and too newborn babies.

Other challenges....I cannot decide if it is smarter to stay home with the kids or return to work. We figure it will cost us around $2200 a month for three babies to receive childcare. With the rising cost of fuel and everything else I am almost wondering if I would even have a paycheck left. If only I could find the perfect local "work from home" job I would do it. After all I am still paying off college loans and we have a home to maintain. What to do?!