July 5th, 2007

17 weeks

Hello ! My name is Aimee, I am 33 years old and I have two beautiful children from a previous relationship. My son Aleks is 10 and my daughter Olivia is 6. I was so sure I was not going to have any more kids, and guess what... Surprise!!!! The depth of the feeling I’ve had since this little angel was conceived means this was meant to be, and nothing could change the tremendous amount of love I already feel for this little one. I still do not know if it’s a boy or a girl, but I will in about three weeks, on July 25th (YAY!) I lift my hat to the parents who are able to wait until the birth to know the sex, because I want to know right away!

As for the dad, well he’s going through some kind of crisis and cannot accept the fact he is about to have a child. His first instinct is to flee. Even though he is older than I am (he’s 37), it feels as if he’s a teenager who’s made a mistake and whose parents are about to find out. He wanted me to have an abortion, and I could not kill my own child just because he didn’t feel ready. So I told him no way. And it’s been worse and worse since then. Every two minutes he says he will leave us, (although he never does) Well, I am a mom + I have a full-time job so I do not need this type of additional stress. If he wants to go, then he should just do it, so I can settle down and be mentally ready when the baby arrives. It’s too bad, because the first thing he told me when we began seeing each other is he wanted to have a little girl. At that time I had told him I did not want anymore children. But now that things have changed... well time will tell, I guess. I have so many blessings to be thankful for, I cannot let myself be pulled down in this pool of negativity.

18 weeks

July 9, 2007

Well 18 weeks already!! Wow! This is so amazing. I have felt the baby kick more and more during the last week and every time it makes me smile. Two weeks, two days before my next visit at the doctor, when I can finally know the sex. I couldn’t help it today, though, and saw this beautiful baby jeans skirt with little flowers on it... well guess what: I bought it. Couldn’t leave it there, on the hanger. Come on!

At least, if I have a boy, my best friend Julie who is also pregnant (12 days ahead of me) may be having a girl. Aaaah the wait until July 25^th when I’ll finally know seems so long.

19 weeks

July 19, 2007

Yesterday, for the first time, I actually saw my baby's movements from outside. My son and my friend Sophie were there so they actually witnessed it too! When baby is moving, I am normally sitting at work - no way I'm going to lift my shirt there LOL - or in bed at night, so I never got to see my tummy moving. It felt so great and I am so happy.

I have my doctor's appointment in 6 days and for sure then I will know my baby's sex. I can't wait. It seems like a million years from now!

The biological father will be leaving us in about two weeks. He's decided to be on his own because he cannot accept the fact he is about to be a father. Well, too bad so sad! He'll be the one missing out on all the marvelous moments (he already is). I am now dealing with this and I am slowly accepting the idea I will be on my own. I know everything is going to be more than fine. Nothing happens without a reason, it's probably for the best. Life is too beautiful for me to get all depressed, so I'm trying to follow my positive-thinking-book's ideas. There. :-)

Well, almost 20 weeks now!! Half way through! Imagine in 4 months I'll be holding a little human being, tiny and sweet, caressing her cheeks, kissing her tiny baby fingers and cute toes... Incredible!

July 24^th

Week 20

Well my best friend is having a girl!! Little Emily. She sounded so happy on the phone, I’m very happy for her too. I am supposed to know tomorrow. If my doctor’s appointment doesn’t get delayed a few days. (He is always so busy in a delivery room). I’m scared of feeling disappointed, I have a clear preference and it makes me feel so bad. We’ll see...

July 25th

IT’S A GIRL! IT’S A GIRL! IT’S A GIRL! IT’S A GIRL!

I feel like dancing and jumping and doing cartwheels right here at work. My doctor has officially given me permission to go shopping! Wipeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I just couldn’t help it and really wished for a little girl. My best friend came with me to the doctor’s office. The long wait seemed like nothing at all since we couldn’t stop blabbing about this and that. And finally my turn came and the doctor – he has his own U/S machine – told me she had her hand hiding everything and he just couldn’t be sure. Then, I guess she moved, because he told me. Ok, now you can go shopping for a little girl! I was ecstatic! Didn’t cry on the spot, but cried the whole ride back to work. I am sooooooooooooo happy! Now time to find a name.... That’s the hardest job. A name... For life....

Right now I’m just BLISSFULLY HAPPY !

August 3rd 2007
21 weeks

Well, my partner left two days ago. Had to take a day off work yesterday. Thought I was going to be relieved, after living through hell in the last months, but no, I kinda miss him. I hope to get over this soon.

My little girl is kicking so hard!! Mostly when I’ve just eaten. I hope she’s happy with the kind of food I give her. I have this thing for spicy and PICANTE! I would be ecstatic in Mexico right now, LOL.

I had two pimples, one on each cheek grow last week. I thought this was over with. Imagine, at the beginning of my pregnancy my cheeks and forehead were full of them. I’ve never had acne in my life, except from the occasional pimple when I had my periods, but that’s it. So this was very stressful at my age. I bought Jessica Simpson’s pimple medication (I just can’t recall the name right now) and it seemed to work. Or maybe it’s my body getting used to this hormone level.

Talking about forgetfulness, I have so much trouble remembering, even simple stuff. Things I did the days before, etc. Is this the pregnancy or old age?

Next week we are going camping for a few days in Toronto. Was supposed to visit Niagara Falls, but decided for Canada Wonderland. Less time on the road (5 hours instead of 7) and camping site was way more affordable. Hope we have such a great weather as we’ve had this week.

Hey, I said I would put some U/S pictures from my 2nd trimester ultrasound and completely forgot. Can you imagine I got 95 pictures on a CD? Well, that's because my baby wasn't cooperating an the lady technician kept taking more and more, but this little girl already knows what she wants... And what she wanted that day was to keep her little arm right in front of her face. So, over the weekend I will try and post some.

August 24th, 2007

24 weeks

Yay it’s Friday! I can’t wait to be home, I’ve been feeling so tired ultimately. On top of that yesterday I couldn’t stop crying. I cried in the car coming to work, cried in front of my computer many times during the day. Cried at noon when I went out to eat. Cried again coming back from work. Geez... and I couldn’t control it either.

But my baby girl seems to be doing fine. She’s kicking up and down and sideways. Sometimes I feel her two legs kicking at the same time in two spots. It kind of hurts at times.

Her father is talking about coming back home; I don’t want to get my hopes up quite yet. But I guess, if he went back to his normal self, it would be great. I miss him a lot. This morning I let him feel the baby kick for the first time.

I’m thinking of names. What about Alyssa? Or Alyssia? I also like Noémie. It’s French for Naomi and is close to my own name. Maybe both.. Alyssa Noémie. Ah finding the right name is soooooooooooo hard. A little more than three months until I can see her precious little face.

Last week a good friend of mine wrote me. We had somewhat lost touch since last year. She told me she was a few weeks pregnant. I was so happy; I told her I was pregnant too! We could spend some of our 1-year maternity leave together. At least for the summer and fall. We made plans to see each other soon; I gave her advice and this website’s address. But, on Wednesday, she wrote to tell me she had a miscarriage. I feel so sad for her. The baby was 5 weeks old...

Friday, october 5th

30 weeks

Oh well I’ve lost all September. It's been deleted and I cannot find my page on Google. I’m a little disappointed. I can’t even remember what I had written.

I will be having my last U/S Monday the 15. This time dad is supposed to come. The funny thing is the lab I go to is right behind his workplace. I wish I could’ve brought my kids, if they didn’t have school.

I’ve almost made my mind up about a name. The first name my kids and I had thought about, was Alina. We were watching a mexican soap (telenovela) and the key role was Alina Montellano, and we loved it. But then we changed our minds a hundred and one time. Now I’m back to step 1. But I don’t like the way it’s spelled. Maybe Aleena, or Alyna, or Alynah. This decision is driving me nuts, time is going by so fast... If I get induced as I have talked with my doctor, it could be on November 30th or December 1st. That leaves me only 8 weeks before D-day...

Aleena-Alynah is moving like crazy. So much that it hurts! She always stays on top of the uterus and I feel my skin is about to tear.

I’ve been watching so many babies being born on Baby Stories and Special Deliveries that I cannot wait another two months before seeing her. I just wish I could hold her and kiss her...

October 17th, 2007

32 weeks

Had my 3rd trimester U/S on Monday. It was great and reassuring since I fell down a flight of stairs at my friend’s house last Thursday. I fell hard on my left leg and since I had no bleeding and the baby was moving regularly I thought I was okay. But then watching Desperate Housewives on Sunday scared me, as the girl fell while rollerblading and her placenta detached. So I was scared I should’ve called my doctor or went to the hospital. The nice U/S technician checked everything; even the blood pressure in the umbilical cord and all is fine. She told me my baby girl weighs 3 pounds 11 ounces and has ¼ inch of hair on her head. Amazing all they can do with technology!

My doctor set my date to be induced on December 7^th. I can’t wait, but at the same time I’m beginning to worry.

Five more weeks and 2 days before I finish work. Woo-hoo! I feel so guilty leaving them, there is so much work to be done and now they have to hire someone else who won’t know much and start the whole training process. But I decided to leave one week earlier than I had thought, November 23^rd, so two weeks before my due date. I really need the rest. Also, the carpal tunnel syndrome is terrible. I can’t type, I lose grip of stuff (even while driving which scares me). I printed out exercise to be done to stretch the tendons and I keep an ice-pack under my wrist holding the computer mouse, but it hurts bad still. All the way to my elbow. The doctor says the only remedy is to give birth...