January 28th/08

So still no AF and I'm planning on taking another test later in the week and if it still comes up negative then I'm planning to make a doctors appointment to get the blood test done...

Feeling a little alone but okay...my fiance went back to work and is gone for almost 2 weeks...not looking forward to that but hopefully I'll be able to call him with the good news...he is so excited and its hard not to be happy when he's there....I'm just been kind of worried that it might all be for nothing...

BUT...I'm trying to stay positive and all that so yay me!! Told my mom today that there could be a BIG possibility and she seemed excited...she said nervous but happy...she's pushing for us to get married even more now but definately going to have to wait till afterwards now...well thats enough for now...off to bed so g'night!....:D

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January 29th/08

Still no AF....was really tempted to take another test today but still holding off for a few days...I actually woke up this morning with no pain in my back today...which was nice! Anyways my little one is 'making dinner'...at 9 o'clock in the morning so I'm going to 'eat'! :D

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January 30th/08

So this morning I decided to take another test because I figured that if it came up negative again then I would just buy another test and take it later in the week....so I woke up nice and early and TADAH!!

I'M HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!!

So I called my fiance and couldn't get ahold of him until around noon and he is so excited!! I told some of my friends and family and they seem happy!

This morning after I took the test I was waiting for my daughter to wake up and tell her so when she finally did I said, 'So guess what honey? Mommys going to have a baby!' and she said, 'I hold it?' and I told her yes and she was reaching for the test and she said 'Oh mom, its cute!!' She thought that the pregnancy test was the baby...it was absolutely adorable...I explained to her that it was just saying that the baby was coming and she said 'Oh mom its so tute(cute)!' She is so funny!! Anyways I just thought I would confirm it and everything!! So excited and happy and nervous all at the same time but very very happy!! Write more soon!! :D

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January 31st/08

So we told more of our family today and they all seem happy for us..

So today I was stressing out and still am...I am so nervous...I am so excited but I'm worried that I won't be able to handle 2 kids. Plus I love my daughter so much and it still surprises me how proud I am to be a mommy. I still find it unbelievable that I could love someone as much as I love her and I just keep thinking what if I don't have that attachment with my next child? I know it sounds dumb but I am so scared. I love little kids and I am sure that I will do fine but all those stupid little 'what if' questions keep popping into my head and I am driving myself crazy. I know I'll work things out but I just keep wondering...hard not to you know? Anyways I should go get some sleep so g'night and :D.

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February 6th/08

So today my fiance is coming home from work...he has been gone since the 28th of January and I am dying to see him! We haven't been physically together since we found out so I am just so excited to see what his face looks like when he's talking about it. I know this may sound weird but I have been having the oddest dreams. I had some really weird ones during my last pregnancy but these are weird in a different way. In a lot of them I am either cheating on my fiance, which I have never done and would never do, with some of our mutual friends...or I dream about food and I mean lots of food, like cupcakes on the side of the road and pizza falling from the sky, but when I am awake I haven't had any cravings yet so I don't know. The last kind of dreams I have been having are all about the baby, I keep dreaming its a boy and I can't decide on a name and random people keep telling me all these weird names, but I woke up from it one time and the only name I could remember was Keegan and now I kind of like the name. The other name that I liked from it was Ethan. So I have no idea what those dreams mean but I do like dreaming about the food but I always wake up really hungry! LOL! So I have been thinking about names and so far I am really set on Chloe Maryanne, if the baby is a girl. For a boy, I haven't fully decided but I am leaning towards Ethan, and the middle names would be Alan Joseph, after my younger brother and my fiances little brother.

It still sort of feels unreal, like I'm not really pregnant. Maybe its because I haven't been sick or had the cravings, and obviously not showing yet but it still hasn't really clicked in for me yet. I have been trying to figure out all of the stuff I am going to need so I have been going through all of my daughters old stuff and I realized that I really miss her being small! Its so strange that she used to fit in one arm and now she's this huge kid that makes her own decisions and knows what she likes and doesn't. She makes me so proud. Anytime I have been feeling worried about not being able to handle having two kids, I look at her and I figure that even though it might be a little more difficult, anything that I have to go through will be worth it. I love my daughter so much and now she's able to show me that she cares too and it is such an amazing feeling.

Anyways I guess I should go, but it has been a good few days and I am so excited my fiance is coming home. Hopefully I'll have an even better couple of days while he's home *wink wink*! LOL! But I'll go now...I'll write more later!! :D

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February 7th/08

So my fiance came home last night and I am so glad he is back. He is so excited and it makes it that much more exciting knowing that he is totally 100% dedicated to our family. He is so amazing!! Anyways...lol...we booked our first doctors appointment for tomorrow at 1:15pm (he wanted me to wait until he was home to book the first one so he could come with me...so sweet eh?) Anyways I am so excited to know that it is all really happening, I can't wait to get to do all the pregnancy stuff and baby shopping, I just want the baby to be here already, I know I have a long, long LONG way to go still but I am still very excited. Anyways I should go but yay!! So happy and excited with everything. :D

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February 8th/08

So today we had our frist doctors appointment and they confirmed me being pregnant which is great! Its really starting to feel real. Being in the doctors today reminded me of how nervous I was when I was pregnant with my daughter. I love my nurse though, she is so nice and understanding. Anyways she figured out the same day that I had before for my due date which is the 28th of September. I have my first ultrasound on the 25th of February which seems far but its all good. I will be 9 weeks and 1 day when its done. Just basically to make sure I am as far as we figured out. I have my next doctors appointment on March 6th and I am supposed to start filling out all my forms thingys...fun fun! LOL! Anyways we are going to my friends sons birthday party soon but I will write more soon. Lots of love !! :D

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February 11th/08

So today my fiance went back to work and it sucks! :( My little girl isn't feeling well, she is finally sleeping since getting up this morning before 6 and being sick. I have no idea what she has and I am worried I am going to catch it. She ate a little bit of breakfast but I am still worried. Anyways I still haven't had any morning sickness but I was feeling like crap all of yesterday. I have been so tired and all I want is some sleep but everytime I lay down I feel like I should be doing something. Anyways I should try and get some sleep while my daughter is out but more then likely I will be back on here in a while..write more soon..:)

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February 12th/08

So my girlie was feeling better today...eating and playing lots. But now I'm sick, I have been up since 1 this morning and have been sick about every 20 or 30 minutes...trying to sleep in between throwing up everywhere. I am so tired but I can't sleep. My stomach is killing me but I am trying to keep my mind off of it. I think I caught what my daughter had so I am hoping by tomorrow it is gone. I have so much stuff to get done and I am not looking forward to it. Like I said yesterday, my fiance went back to work and he won't be home till around the 20th. I hate that he has to work out of town but it is good money so I guess I have to deal with it. I miss him like crazy and it is so weird having him home sleeping with me and then he is gone for like 9 or 10 days. Oh well, thats life for yah! On a better note, my daughter has been extremely interested in the baby the last week or so. She always talks about it and rubs my belly. I can't wait until I start showing so she can feel the baby move. Anyways I should go, my little one just asked to have a bath so I should get moving! Write more soon...:D

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February 15th/08

Hi! I have been feeling better and have been so busy trying to get some stuff done, been out and about the last 2 days. Anyways I am getting excited, my first ultrasound is in 10 days! I can't wait to just see it and even though I won't see much I am still really excited. Hopefully they can tell me that either my due date is right or they can give me the right one. As of right now I am due on my nephews birthday so hopefully they will change it or I will go earlier or later then that day. It seems like so far away though, 226 days seems so long! I know it will go by fast but I think its just because my fiance isn't here to talk about it with me. I feel like it is taking forever just to get from week to week. I still haven't had any morning sickness so I am happy about that. Maybe I won't get it this time! I have been thinking about the baby a lot, and I have been noticing little babies everywhere! But I don't know, all I want is for the baby to be here so I can hold him/her and I just want the time to go faster. I'm sure when I start getting further along it will go faster but I can't help but wish it would anyways. I should go..got stuff to do. Write more soon...:D

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February 18th/08

Hello there! I haven't written in a few days so I will try to catch up on everything. My fiance is still at work, not back till Thursday morning. I am missing him like crazy! My daughter has been so good the past few days, she is usually a really good kid but other then a couple things she is behaving really well. I still don't have any morning sickness so I am really excited that I might not get it. As of today, I am 8 weeks and 1 day. I have my first ultrasound a week from today and I am so nervous. I keep having this weird feeling that they aren't going to be able to find a heartbeat so I have been worrying myself about that. My family has seemed to take more of an interest in my pregnancy. They seemed excited when I told them but when I was at my moms for dinner last night, she was asking questions which was nice. My little brother is so excited. He is 15 next month and with my next one, he will have 7 nephews and nieces. My older sister is due with her 5th child at the end of March. I have been debating whether or not to go back to school and finish up before the next baby gets here, but I am having a hard time deciding about putting my daughter in day care or not.I have been home with her other then when I worked for a couple months and I just feel that it is my job to take care of her, plus I am worried about leaving her with strangers. I want to go back to school to graduate from high school, I am only 3 credits short of graduating so it is silly not to finish when I am so close. I have called around and day care is so expensive but I am sure I will figure out a way to get everything done. I have also been thinking about baby names a lot and have came up with a few good ones but haven't decided fully on anything yet. I will have to wait till my fiance gets home to see what he says. Anyways a lot has been going on but I am getting more excited about everything. I can't wait for the baby to be here but I am enjoying knowing that my little love bug is growing more everyday. Bye for now, write more soon...xoxo...:D

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February 21st/08

So my fiance is home from work now!! So glad he is back...he leaves again on Tuesday so that sucks but we're enjoying the time we have together. I have been worrying a lot about my ultrasound on Monday. I can't help but worry that there might be something wrong. I don't have any sickness like I did with my first and I just keep having these bad dreams that the doctor won't be able to find heartbeat at the ultrasound. I am hoping everything will be fine but I have been stressing about it. Anyways I am about to have dinner but I just wanted to get out my worries...write more soon...:)

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February 24th/08

Hey there! So its been a busy couple of days but its been good. I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I am so scared. I just hope that everything is okay. I am driving myself (and my fiance) absolutely crazy worrying but it will all be fine tomorrow once its done with. My fiance goes back to work in on Tuesday (2 days) which sucks, but his work schedule changed so he gets to come to the first ultrasound with me now which is nice. I feel like I am getting fat. Not pregnant fat, just FAT! I don't think I look prego yet but I feel like I weigh a million pounds and my back has been killing me..so not fun! Anyways I will probably write more tomorrow and hopefully put up an ultrasound picture...ttyl! :D

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February 25th/08

So we just got back from our first ultrasound and everything is great. They said that I am not as far along as I thought I was which seems odd because I was monitoring my LMP...Anyways they changed my due date to October 4th. It sucks because I have to wait like another week but at least the baby is doing good. They said that the heartbeat is at like 187 bpm...which she said is normal for this stage in my pregnancy. So as of today..I am 8 weeks and 2 days. So I am only like 6 days behind what I originally thought I was. I am definately excited that I am not due on my nephews birthday anymore. AWW! My little girl was so happy today...she kept asking when she could get hers done (her ultrasound) and I asked her why she wanted one and she just kept saying, "Because I'm the sister!" She is so funny. She was so curious about the lady doing the ultrasound and she was watching her so intensely when she was touching my belly. She is so sweet. Anyways I am going to put my ultrasound picture up in my pictures section. My fiance and I have also pretty much decided on names, for a girl the name will be Chloe Mary-anne and for a boy (pretty sure?) it will be Chase Alan-Joseph. I am so excited and very relieved to know that everything seems to be going great! I will write more soon...xoxo!! :D

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