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amberizzle
amberizzle has 22 days to go and is now in week 36
Age: 20
Country: Private
Province/region: Private
City: Private
Partner: Brian
Children:
Pregnant: Yes
Due date: 07 Jun ,2008
Occupation: Dispatcher
Online: 4 hours ago.
Last updated: 37 days ago.
Member since: 179 days
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April 8th, 2008: I know he loves me.

We're standing in the aisle for electric razors in Target when I take a moment to tell him that he looks like he fell down a mineshaft. He has a full beard. He huffs at me and when I try to kiss him, he pulls away. I whine quietly until he comes back and immediately nuzzle up into his neck.

He smiles. I can feel it with my head against his cheek. "You love me," he whispers, very quietly and tenderly against my hair.

"I love you," I confirm. And he wraps his hand tighter around my waist and pulls me close so he can feel the baby between us, rubbing her gently with his free hand and my aching hips with the other.

I wake up early in the morning some time later when he rolls over to slide his arm around me from behind. He lays his forearm across my ribs and lays his palm on my belly. Drowsy and sleep drunk, I press my back against his chest to alleviate some of the pressure on my hips and legs. As I shift, the baby starts to kick his arm, trying to get it off of her favorite toys: my ribs. I hear him murmur something unintelligible and cup my lower stomach in his hand, as if holding her up. It takes the pressure off of my veins and circulation returns to my legs and pelvis for a blissful moment. With his other hand, he plays with my hair and caresses my neck.

It is a rare, sleepy moment. On any other morning, I would have my arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him close and kissing over his skin. I'm the dominant one in a lot of ways. I hold him more. I kiss and caress him more. I massage his whole body as both a method of relieving the pain he's in and a covert way of molesting his sleek, lean body. I notice how feminine he can be: his facial structure, for instance, is very delicate. He has high, pretty cheekbones and long black eyelashes that brush my skin whenever he nuzzles into me. His lips are large and pouty and, though muscular, his body has a distinct curviness to it that I envy. But he is still masculine, still a man. Even if he possesses the finest hips and ass I've ever seen.

As he starts to wake a few hours later, I roll over to face him and he instinctively nuzzles up against my breasts. I feel his eyes flick open a little as though just noticing that my breasts have become far larger and fuller. It's the one thing I can be proud of in this pregnancy concerning my body. It doesn't get mentioned hardly enough.

"Oh," he mutters. "A pillow." And then he buries his face in my skin and dozes off again as I massage his scalp.

I know he loves me.


Look at that precious little fist. I'm in love with those hands.

Pouty face. She was getting real fussy by the end.

I really, really love this one.

Thumb in her mouth.

Sucking on her lower lip just like I do. Well, daddy does it too.

She has a cute little smile.

So sleepy in there!

Okay, who's she looking like now? Still daddy? Me? Or both?



Comments on amberizzle`s Profile
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Comments 176-200 of about 261 to amberizzle
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aajones1218 - Wednesday, 20 Feb
 hey babe!! yr getn bigggg


mommakass - Monday, 18 Feb
my left foot tends to swell but not my right...


terra-michelle - Saturday, 16 Feb
Hey thanks so much for the post and your right everyone has ways of dealing with things such as boy vs girl. I did hold it in on how I felt with him saying things, but finally the hormones I guess got to me and I let it out on how he made me feel and after that he has come around alot. I also have to take into consideration that he is deployed and that has alot of stress. Like you said people deal with things in different ways. I know how you feel with your boyfriend rejecting sex because of fears. Mine has said the same thing as well. i am sure things will get better with that and once again thanks for the post it did help to hear another persons point of view on that. have a wonderful day and congrats on having a girl....


ktpregers - Wednesday, 13 Feb
Thank you for your kind words and God Bless


tferguson - Monday, 11 Feb
amberizzle: I became pregnant with my first daughter when I was 19 years old. I ended up tryng to work things out with her 'sperm donor' but it just didn't work out. When I was 4 months pregnant I found myself alone and ready to take on the world with my little girl in tow. Now I am 29 years old and pregnant with my second. This time I am married to a wonderful man who loves not only me but my daughter also. 'Sperm Donor' has never come back into the picture and my husband has just signed the apotion papers to become my daughter's 'legal father'. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I'm telling you this because although it seems like its going to be a long lonely road ahead of you without the father of you child with you, please don't ever forget that many of us have done it and thank our lucky stars in the end that it worked out that way. My daughter and the situation that I was faced with was a blessing.


Cherryb0m - Thursday, 7 Feb
HI! I would not even think twice and get another OB. You need to feel comfortable with your Dr. This is the person who is helping you bring your new child to the world. If you feel like you are not being listened to (which it sounds like you are not) get another Dr. This should be a time of joy. I wish you luck, I know you'll find the right OB.


supamom - Thursday, 7 Feb
I agree with tferguson some good advise there.


supamom - Thursday, 7 Feb
I would defiantly go and get a new ob I havent even got an ob yet just my docter its not too late to find a new one that will respect your concerns.I see my new ob at 25 weeks preg if I dont like them Ill change .You defiantly dont need this worry on your shoulder I hope you find a good ob .Best of luck


mommi2be - Wednesday, 6 Feb
My vote would be to find another ob. Even though you are this far along is you don't feel comfortable or confident with him all you are going to do is even worry more. In your situation you don't need anything else to worry about. Keep us updated. I will keep you in my prayers


newmamabear - Wednesday, 6 Feb
How are you feeling???


tferguson - Wednesday, 6 Feb
If I were you I would callyour regular physician. Your condition must be documented in you file with them. I would explain the situation with you regular doctor and ask that he/she speak to your OB about your condition and explain the issues. If your OB is still not willing ot listen then I would ask your regular Dr. to refer you to someone that will understand the condition that you have.


yogamommy - Wednesday, 6 Feb
Get a new Dr.! There are many out there that WILL take you seriously. Good luck!


knockoutmom - Wednesday, 6 Feb
yea, screw your doctor! get a new one! apparently he either doesnt care or just has no idea. either which reasons make me think you should switch doctors fast! dont even put up with his stress anymore! you dont need that right now. you gotta enjoy being pregnant while you can. especially now while we are all feeling our best. my mom has mitral valve prolaspe and tells me about how bad it is when your heart skips a beat for longer than usual and you feel like your gonna die! i dont know how different what you have is but i hope it can somehow get better! just try not to stress. good luck!


mommakass - Wednesday, 6 Feb
oh sweetie I think that maybe it would be best for you and your little to find another doctor who is more understanding and more concerned about I'm sorry you can't enjoy her :( Flat out.. I think that hes an asshole....


kristyandoliver - Wednesday, 6 Feb
It seems like alot of times they won't do a C-section because of the risks but OBVIOUSLY your risks delivering vaginally would outweigh the risks of a C-section. I would deifnitely try to find another doctor. There are good ones out there that take medicaid. But in general doctors are arrogant assholes who think they know better than you even though it's your body.

I'm sorry you can't even enjoy your baby right now because of this prick.




mommagin - Wednesday, 6 Feb
hey there, just readin your page and girl...you need to drop your doctor! what an asshoollllee!! YOU decide what kind of birth you want to have...and especially with your heart condition...i've had c-sections with my 2 kiddos and gonna have one for my lil girl in march or april... don't think that you have to take it up the ass just cause your on medicaid ...you can choose another doctor that accepts it...i know...i did it with my 1st...hope all works out for ya..take care


happymommee2b - Wednesday, 6 Feb
sounds to me like u need to find a new doc,one who will be more caring and realize that having a vaginal birth w/your condition will put u and your baby at risk.


Moody-Mama - Wednesday, 6 Feb
I agree with Everyone...SWITCH OB's- and if the next one won't listen, find one who will. This is your life!!! In Canada a midwife is covered in our med. insurance, is a Midwife covered in Medicaid?? If so, you should think about getting one, so she can be the voice for you. She will speak up and get some results, and be with you every step of the way. If all that fails, I'd speak to your cardiologist and have him/her speak with your OB and explain the situation, that your heart can't edure the stess, with or without the epidural. Epidurals wear off, trust me with my son, I had like 6! Not just top offs, but 6 times they had to re-insert the needle!! Plus when it comes time to push, they need you to be able to 'feel'. Listen, I had a 30 hour very stressful, Epidural filled labour which ended in an emerg. C-section. It is your body and your right to ask for a 'C'...Don't give up your fight and you will be fine!


katherinec - Wednesday, 6 Feb
I would switch doctors. That or I agree with the previous commenter - ask this doctor about his liability insurance. Possibly even go speak to a free lawyer - is there such a thing? - and get some advice about what the consequences might be if something did go wrong during a vaginal birth. Then go back to the doctor and tell him you've consulted with your lawyer and you hope he really does have good insurance.

I so hate the medical establishment sometimes - it just seems like men who think they are gods who want to frighten pregnant women! I can understand if you were frivolously wanting a c section but in your case you have a condition.

can you maybe do some research and find out what outcomes there have been for women who have your condition and gave birth vaginally? Maybe you need some facts to back you up with this horrible doctor.

good luck!


rabekah - Wednesday, 6 Feb
Next time you go see your OB I'd ask him how good his liability insurance is because it looks as if he's willing to use it. What a freakin a$$! Run to another Dr. It's your LIFE and your little girls that depends on it. Good luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you.


newmamabear - Wednesday, 6 Feb
They can't do that! It is YOUR decision. Can you switch doctors?


pamallhoney - Wednesday, 6 Feb
I definitely agree with all the other girls. I hope you are encouraged and stregthened to make the decision to find a new Dr. I'm not a Dr. but you sure have convinced me that you need special attention.

Father, I pray for Amber and her baby girl. That you would protect them from all harm and give them both peace. Direct Amber to the perfect Dr. for her, one that will totally understand her needs and requests. I also pray for the miraculous healing of her heart. You are a God of miracles!!! In Jesus name Amen!


Niknaks - Wednesday, 6 Feb
Hi, there! I'm sorry to hear about your doc. You need to find another one who will understand not only your medical condition but put your feelings first too. Good Luck, I know you'll come right :)


teenMOMMIE - Wednesday, 6 Feb
hey. id TOTALLY switch doctors, if you can. im not sure about in fl, but medicaid here in cali has about 4 different offices per suburb. i switched finally. i waited til i was 22 weeks, but hey, whatever works.


LicaH - Wednesday, 6 Feb
Hi Amber, I was just reading your update. I have to agree with MelisaK, maybe it's time you start looking for another ob/gyn. Someone who shares your ideas regarding the birth of your daughter. Try not to stress, it wont do you or the baby any good. Voice your concern to a new/better ob/gyn. Good luck girl and take care of yourself. Blessings




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