amyridiculous
	Age: 26 Country: Private Province/region: Private City: Private Partner: Single Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Due date: 09 0 ,0000 Occupation: Photographer
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 87 days ago. Member since: 395 days
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I'm having a baby BOY!
Due September 21st 2007
I can't wait for little Connor to be with us.


About You
Mothers Name?: Amy
Age?: 26
Height?: 5'7"
Fathers Name?: Ryan
Age?: 24
Height?: 5'8"
About Your Pregnancy
Is this your first pregnancy?: Yes
When did you find out you were pregnant?: i wasn't having my normal cravings before i started my period so i took a test and found out i was pregnant
Was it planned?: no but i wouldn't change it for the world now.
What was your first reaction?: oh no; what am i going to do. this wasn't supposed to happen this way.
Who was with you when you found out?: i was by myself but the second time i took a test to make sure kassie, rachel and brandi were there with me.
Who was the first person you told?: kassie
How did your parents react?: utlra pissed. took mom 3 days to settle down then she had a blanket made for the baby done in less than 4 days. my dad is happy now that its a boy, haha. at first he just looked at me like i had some kind of illness he didn't want to get.
How far along are you?: 27 weeks and 5 days
What was your first symptom?: always tired
What is your due date?: sept 21st, 2007
Do you know the sex of the baby?: yes
If so, what is it?: boy
Have you picked out names?: I think we've agreed on Connor Dean
If so, what are they?: n/a
How much weight have you gained?: so far 17lbs
Do you have stretch marks?: very much so and god are they gross
Have you felt the baby move?: all the time he's doing windmills and spinkicks in the womb
Have you heard the heartbeat?: every doctors appointment i've had :)
About the birth
Will you keep the baby?: of course
Home or hospital birth?: hospital
Natural or medicated birth?: medicated i'm pretty sure i could handle it but i rather make it was easy as possible. haha
Who will be in the delivery room with you?: my mom, my sister and maybe kassie if i can con them into 3
Will you breastfeed?: i'm going to try
Do you think you'll need a c-section?: i hope not i got enough scars but you never know
Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: yes
What's the first thing you might say to him/her?: i love you
Would you let someone videotape the birth?: probably not
Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: both.


January 25th 2007
A lot on my mind lately, a lot of it stressing me out to the max with a few seconds of me having nothing but doubt run through my head. Finally meeting someone you think is one of the coolest people you'll ever come by following with finding out your pregnant it's a hard task and not just for me. I had so many thoughts I never once in my life thought I'd ever have. All I know is I have to stick to my guns and be strong. This time I don't just have myself to worry about I have the baby inside me who is going to need me more. I'll be honest I'm absolutely terrified but excited at the same time. My parents tore from front to back when I told them making me feel like I can't do it so I left and went to my sister's place for a couple of days. Thankfully my brother stepped in on my way to my sister's and told them they were counting me out before they gave me a chance. That it wasn't right for them to do that. Mom called when I got there and apologized for being so harsh and what not. My sister took me to the emergency room in Marion on Wednesday morning where they told me I was pregnant which I knew but I was having really bad pains in my abdomen. I needed to get checked out just in case I was having a miscarriage or a tube birth. Come to find out I just have a urinary tract infection so the baby is fine. I came home today and mom was completely cool about it all and apologized once again. We ended up going to Wal-Mart and she made me take her through the baby stuff and just smiled from ear to ear. She got me some pants for when I get bigger and what not. They fit pretty well now they are some comfy pajama pants I tell you what. Some stuff for my hair and perfume. She wanted to get some yarn and has already started the baby a baby blanket. Things are starting to look up. I just hope things keep going that way. Now I just want Dan to come home because I owe him some beatings and a massage.

March 12th 2007
Pap smears suck!
I feel like i had 10 hours of sex.
My mom said to me and my sister "why do you guys think those hurt"
I reply "well how loose are you mom; gez"
We all lost it even my dad thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Baby is doing fine.
I lost another five pounds.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm thinking anymore. I've been trying this I don't give a shit attitude when it comes to relationships and so forth but it doesn't work for me. I've always been the committed type and trying to be something I'm not wears me down.

I'm drained, confused, stressed, just everything I don't want to be. Half the time I wish I was numb to any emotions that are flung my way. What can you do?

My head tonight is a battlefield and I'm just going to sleep it away if I can.



April 13th 2007
At my last appointment i found out that may 8th I'll be having my first ultrasound and find out the sex of the baby. how awesome is that? such a great early birthday gift for myself.

Right now I'm in Columbus; Ohio visiting friends for about a month I'll be heading back the 7th of may. Going to a show and making some pretty decent cash taking pictures of my friends band. Then a promo shoot for my other friends band. going to need that money once the baby is here.

June 5th 2007
A ton of crap on this whole RH Factor I feel a little bit better about it all now. I was wondering why it took them so long to tell me I was RH Negative and come to find since I am so the doctor will have me take a test which will detect if I'm producing RH antibodies. Appearntly it can't be performed until around the 28th week of pregnancy which I'll pretty much be at by my next appointment. Makes me not worry so much thank god had me stressing for a minute there.

June 15th 2007
Jeff and Nikki got Connor all kinds of cute baby stuff i went and picked it up last night while i was in Huntington to see Michael while he's home on leave from Iraq.


June 27th 2007
I want to be out of here so bad. Every time I come home its like a huge fight takes place because I can't leave for more than 24 hours with out all the cleaning I've done being totally wrecked by my niece. She's just takes it upon herself to take my stuff and use it as she wishes, leave her things all over my bed that I have to come home and wash the sheets and everything every time just because god knows what kind of shit she may have spilled on it. I'm so outraged and upset. I can't live like this I shouldn't have to; my parents shouldn't have to put up with her ways. I'd seriously take a picture of her side of the room but it's seriously that embarrassing to even look at let alone show someone. I can't put up with it anymore I just simply can't. Stressing me out and upsets me way too much it did before I was even pregnant now it just seems to be a hundred times worse.

I really hope H.U.D gets a hold of me soon that'll make things a lot easier being on my own and not having to deal with the daily stress of this damn house.

Why is it when I don't have him to talk to I feel so lost and feel like I have no one to turn too? It shouldn't feel like that but it does. What can you do though except suck it up and move along.

I'm just breaking down that's the easiest way to put it all I guess.

My dad's family is really starting to piss me off. They plan a bridal shower the same day as my cousin Stacy's wedding. Then to celebrate that wedding they have a cook out at the park the same day my brother is getting married. Inconsiderate fucks. Plain and simple drink another keg you drunks.

Connor is moving all over again today. 86 days to go? It can't come fast enough. I'm so ready for him to be here now it's not even funny. A chance to give someone the life I wanted the compassion and love that I got when I was a child.

I feel like a train wreck.

June 28th 2007

My sister has pissed off the whole family I think for the last time. Not only did she fuck me over with 200 bucks worth of pictures. My brother was letting her borrow a 150 vacuum because she needed one; that was also left there. Mom and dad are pissed well because of all the furniture they bought her is in there. Mom talked of taking her out of the will completely and replacing her with her kids. I don’t blame mom at all. To top it all off my sister didn’t show up for Jenny’s bridal shower (my brother’s wife to be) that was hurtful for all of us and I’m sure it hurt Jenny’s feelings as well.

Mom asked me to go to my brother’s new house with her earlier when I was upset and crying my eyes out over 200 bucks plus worth of pictures. “Why are you crying?” Because “I’m a photographer and pictures are my fucking life, its how I capture everything mom, she’s dead if I see her.” Mom and dad went over there without me.

My neighbor brought me home a elephant ear from the 4-H fair tonight she said she stood in line for almost half hour just for me to have one; too sweet if you ask me. I feel like my mood has gotten better since I got some junk food, got to love pregnancy. What a little sugar and cinnamon can do for someone?

Tomorrow I guess I’m not going with mom shopping I simply misheard her. She’s was going to have me go with her to pick out these clothes. A guy she works with has a little boy who has tons of Levis and other jeans that he didn’t wear at all. They are going to give them to me to use. All this free stuff already and no baby shower. Maybe I just need people to go in on the big things like a crib, high chair, and stroller. I really think that’s all I need accept a non supply of diapers and wipes.

I feel like a crazy woman with these mood swings. However the people in my life don’t help what so ever.

I’ve been to every doctor’s appointment by myself except one and that’s when Kristen brought me back from Ohio to go with me to my first ultrasound. Jamie went with me to my first one however she didn’t go back in the room with me, that wasn’t a big deal I still had her support. My aunt took me to my last one she also didn’t go in the room, not a big deal. I’ve asked my mother to go with me every time she had the day off and she’s said straight to my face “I won’t be there till you go in to labor and then spoil him to death.” Well thanks for the support lady, I’m already going through this alone. Happy you could make me feel so damn great. True story.

June 29th 2007
28 weeks


Breakfast at 5:30 a.m.
The baby had me up at 4 a.m.
Mom told me to take the car to get me breakfast.
Yum!!
I could almost go back to bed now with this full tummy.
However I'm going to wait awhile before I do so.
I also noticed that it hurts under my left boob when I eat.
I'm guessing with all the organ shifting getting ready for delivery.
The pain is letting me know when I'm full?
Didn't happen with breakfast though.
Didn't eat much yesterday at all.

July 6th 2007
29 Weeks
My appointment Tuesday I’m up right before seven in the morning. I get ready and head to the Emergency room to register for my blood work it takes forever. Something about my papers didn’t explain why I was having these tests done. I had to wait for them to fax them to the ER took forever. By time I get to drink that nasty orange watered down soda stuff for my sugar test I had five minutes to chug it. Then walk like a mad woman across the parking lot to my doctor’s appointment. They are running way behind and of course I sit there for a half hour after I’m supposed to have my appointment. I gained only six pounds and apparently that wasn’t enough to make the doctor happy he still question my eating habits and so forth. I swear to god I eat more than I ever would in my entire life. I told him about my tooth so he’s told me to try other towns such as Wabash and so forth to get me in earlier. That and how common my thigh pain is and to tough it out I’ve been great so far. Connor’s heartbeat was stronger than ever. After my appointment I dash back to have blood drawn 3 nice sized tubes. Then dash back to my doctor’s office to sit down and wait to get my RH shot. Get back there and FINALLY get a shot in the ass which has been sore for two days down. Along with my arm, yes I don’t like needles when it comes to doctors but I can get a tattoo without a problem. After two and half hours finally I get to go home. I now have to go back to the doctors ever two weeks. Good times.

Tuesday I went to hang out at Kassie’s she had some people over and we just sat around and chilled. Went back yesterday for the 4th and went to fireworks with her, Rachel and Ashlynn. Of course driving home I get stuck in some mad rain making me stressed as hell. Some point I think I was only going 20 miles per hour or something. It sucked.

I let my niece drive home from the store today she did very well came a long way since the last time I let her behind the wheel that’s for damn sure.

I’ve noticed that Connor is now more active now I’m not sure if the shot had anything to do with it but he moves even more now. I think that’s a good sign.

Gie is my son’s sauce dealer; he should probably knock that off.

Now for some lucky charms.

July 11th 2007
I couldn't sleep last night.
I watched my belly for awhile.
I could see where he was lying.
So I rubbed my belly where he was.
Just watched him move around for awhile.
Probably the best feeling I've had so far this week.
I can't wait.

July 13th 2007

30 weeks

We went baby shower shopping today that was fun.
We are renting a building for Saturday August 11th.
I can't wait.
Our town circus starts tomorrow night.
Out fair starts Monday; yay for elephant ears.
I'm on iron pills now. YUCK
My brother's wedding is the 28th of this month.
My friend Jess is having her baby shower the 29th.
I'm going to be busy.

I made these for Connor today.
Washed a load of clothes.
Soaked my feet.
Boring night but oh well.



July 17th 2007

I'm allowed to have days.
I'm allowed to be mad.
I’m allowed to be sad.
I’m allowed to be excited.
I’m allowed to be lonely.
I’m allowed to be happy.
I'm allowed to be unsure.
I just have to know that it's okay to ask for help.

Today I’ve been in a total funk ever since I woke up. Granted I had a nice wake up call. Nothing like being told your beautiful when you first wake up. I guess it was just the news at the doctor about Creepy however he is fine and okay. I’m just growing bigger than I should. It could be a lot of things. Probably the fact I was only craving junk foods but I’m finally back to were I want nothing but healthy foods. Mom thinks a main reason for my belly being bigger than it should is the fact I’m probably more amniotic fluid than baby. Kassie also mention that if my body has always retained a lot of water when I’m on my period so it’ll do the same being pregnant. However as long as Creepy is fine I’m good. Stress is wearing off slowly. Either way I wanted another ultrasound so I could see Creepy. I even mentioned to mom last night about faking pains just so I could see him. She laughed and well I got my wish right?

I need to start filling out the baby shower invitations but I really don’t want to at this point. I’m not sure if Jenny has the labels made or not for them anyway. I know we’re doing a diaper thing. Anyone who brings a thing of diapers enters to win a gift certificate for twenty-five bucks.

I’m waiting for dad to get done with dinner. I’ll probably eat something and watch a movie. Not sure depends on what mom feels like doing when she gets back from Jenny’s moms.

I think I have Creepy’s coming home outfit all picked out unless I get something better at the shower. He’ll be in a jeans, jean jacket and red onesie with baseball shoes.

July 22nd 2007
The past couple of days the air was so thick I couldn’t cut through it with anything. My thoughts were everywhere and I had no clue how to take in any kind of emotion. I just simply felt like a totally different person, someone who I’m not. Someone I normally would be totally disgusted at. After having support and knowing things are okay I felt a hundred times better.

Friday; I spent a lot of time with my sister after picking her up Thursday. She apologized to me several times about the pictures and so forth so being the forgiving person I am even if I’m still pissed, I forgave her. We all went to the ball park that night to spend time with together and watch my brother’s softball games.

Saturday; woke up for that parade let me tell you I was so tired I didn’t want to move. I only made it till my brother’s float went through it was choice too they won. Not that big of a shock they put a lot into it. Came home to try and rest but that didn’t happen for long. I had to run and pick up more Baby Shower Invitations because I guess I have more family than I thought. My sister and I got those all filled out finally. Now I have to sit around and pick like two games we’re going to play. Not sure which ones I want to play yet though. After that we headed to Marion to pick up my nephew’s medicine then to Huntington to take them home. Mom and I went to Wal-Mart to get some things for the wedding since it is this coming Saturday. My brother is going to be out of here, which means sweet sweet privacy! Ran into Fern and her daughter Kayla; which was cool since I haven’t seen her in forever it seems. That and never met her daughter who is simply adorable. Mom and I finally got to head home. Later on I was taking a shower and almost passed out I think it was because I was so hot all day I didn’t feel like eating anything or something. Either way after that incident mom called and told me to meet her at pizza king for pizza. Sat around the house for awhile after that and passed out for 11 hours. I needed it.

I had fucked up dreams all night though. The kind that wake you up and you think what the hell just happened was that real? It was out there.

We let my niece drive to Logansport today yeah we had a death wish. She did well until she thought she’d blast through a red light. We had to yell stop at the top of our lungs thankfully she got stopped.

I can’t wait till my brother is out of the house. I’ll miss him very much though but he’s only three blocks away? So it’s not that bad. He and I just get along so well and he’s been a great support through this whole pregnancy thing. He was there when my parents looked down on me; he was there to tell them to give me a chance because I’d be the best mom ever.

Once he’s gone I’m going to start getting Creepy and I’s room started. Putting up his crib doing all that fun stuff. I can’t wait. However I have a housing appointment Tuesday I can’t wait to see how that goes. Maybe I’ll be setting up a place of my own instead of a damn room. I can’t wait to find out more. I can’t wait to get things together for him to be here.
I’m done rambling I’m sure its not much fun to read but it’s the only update I could come up with right now. When I’m happy or content it’s hard for me to think of anything to say I guess. But when I’m down and out the words just flow. That’s how I’ve always been though. Deal with it.

Oh; Kristen. I didn’t answer your call or text yesterday because I only had 25 cents on my phone then by time I got more minutes I didn’t want to interrupt you at all so I got your message. Bust him in the face even if you knew better. I wish I could be there to help you stay strong. He DOES NOT deserve someone as amazing as you.

Here are pictures from the Parade yesterday; it was hard to get them because being so hot for my pregnant ass. Mainly though because some 6 foot guy thought it’d be nice to stand in front of me the whole time.

July 23rd 2007

i watched my cousin's six year old boy today from 7:30 a.m till 5 p.m. i'm supposed to have him five days a week until school starts up again. i personally think i'll collapse before then today alone seriously KILLED me. if he was to go back to bed for a couple hours it'd make it easier but he doesn't. i think i'm going to split the pay with my niece and rotate days for her to watch him. at least until my next doctors appointment to see if i need more iron. because i seriously have no go in me what so ever. i took him to the park and my niece played with him because i just couldn't do anything but sit there. its pathetic and makes me feel worthless. either way i'm going to bed because if i don't i won't make it through tomorrow.

SIDE NOTE: i was i could be in his arms; i really do.

July 28th 2007

My brother is finally a happily married man.



My brother Travis and Sister-in-Law Jenny
Two VERY happy people

July 31st 2007
My peaceful lil boy. he was being stubborn, has an attitude and covered his face every time she tried to get a good picture of him. Then he'd smash his face against my uterus making it look like he had cleft lip. That's where Kassie and I flipped out at first. haha. That and he thinks he is going to be born feet first because he wont move his ass anywhere.


August 12th 2007

not to mention all the crap in the shed i got today.
i have no idea what i'm going to do with all this stuff.
haha





















































August 18th 2007


the smaller you make it the easier it is to see the movement he's going crazy on me today but at least i finally got a semi decent video of it! Creepy Connor

More Videos

August 23rd 2007

His bassinet all done up and his crib. I'm still waiting on the bedding in the mail! Its AWESOME!
29 days or less to go and I've never been more excited and scared in my life.
I can't wait to hold him in my arms.
He makes the rest of this cruel world not matter.
His best buddy was born along with his "girlfriend" haha
His buddy Draven is ADORABLE!
I"ll have a new belly picture sometime tonight.

36 weeks!



August 28th 2007

i just got back from my doctors appointment. as he was checking my cervix he felt a kick. there for he told the ultrasound lady to get me in right now. she checked and sure enough my little man is breech (feet first delivery for you people that don't know.) i was given the options to either have him try and turn him which can cause problems and still end up having a c-section. that's a 50/50 not to mention turning the baby would hurt like a son of a bitch. or to wait and have a section. as of right now he will be taken by c-section September 17th at 7 a.m. of course i have to be there at 5 a.m. to prep. its possible he could still turn if i was to go into labor and my water break but the chances are slim to none. that's my update.

time to go let it all soak in.

p.s. i quit smoking

August 31st 2007
37 weeks

Yesterday morning I lost a good amount of my mucus plug and it was the nasty thing I’ve seen in a long time. I just looked at mom and explained to her how it looked and what not. I was disgusted by it even though it’s really not that bad; I’ve seen worse in my lifetime. I ended up losing more of it that night not massive amount or anything. She told me if I’m anything like her I still have two weeks before I could go into labor if not longer. Stubborn butt is still breech as far as I can tell. I’m just ready to have the little guy here to take care of. I spent most of the day washing clothes, bottles and packing his back. Also I changed his going home outfit to the one I bought him.

37 weeks; 17 days to go (unless he turns or i go into labor)



September 3rd, 2007

Dear Connor;
It’s two weeks until your arrival on this earth and I’ve never been more excited in my whole life. It was a lot to take in at first that but I was going to be a mother. March 2nd, 2007 I heard your little heart beat for the first time I was instantly in love and couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms. I know times will be rough for us but we’ll pull through it all. We’ll have each other till the end. I saw your cute face for the first time May 8th, 2007 when they told me it was a boy I was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to tell the world. Each day was a new experience and lesson. I never thought I could love someone so much before I even met them. You’ve been the best thing that life has brought me and I can’t wait to share the world with you. I can’t wait to see the man you will grow up to be and what your future holds for you. I’ll always be there to catch you when you fall. Support you when you need a friend. Just always remember I love you more than life itself and I’ll stand by you through everything.

Love Always;
Mom



ANY input is welcome.
I'm not exactly sure how write what I feel.
SO many emotions right now really.
Its the rough draft though.


December 2nd 2097
Baby Shower Number 2

We got back the DNA results so now we can finally go have Connor's last name changed to Robinson. His dad leaves for Iraq within the next couple of weeks and will be gone for a year. It's very sad for Connor's sake. I feel so bad that Ryan we'll be missing out on a lot but not much you can do. His family had a baby shower tonight. They made Ryan open up the gifts he was only there to drop off his clothes for his mom to wash. Well he ended up being stuck there for awhile.