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Hello, My name is Anna. I'm 27 living in West Palm Beach with my husband Jeremy. This is our first child and we are very excited to welcome this new eddition into our lives.

my hubby and i pre - baby

I tried to put preg belly pics up of me but i cant seem to figure out how to do it. Anyone know how? Anyway I have to say this week (week 17.5) my belly has really popped and I am more visually aware of this pregnancy. The nausea has subsided in the past week or so but the tiredness goes on. I wake up during the night to use the rest room. I dont think ive had a full night's sleep since i was around 2 months! We find out Monday the 9th what we are having , provided our baby cooperates!

me at 17.5 weeks

ok so i figured out how to do it. wow from this picture i think i've gained more in my hips than i did baby! yeah... its gonna be fun taking this weight off! Anyway, I find out what im having on monday !! we are sooo excited!

I had an ultrasound today, April 9, they said they coundt tell the gender, im kinda bummed but the baby is doing fine and developing well so that made me feel good. here is a picture of my little creation!

April 15

I have a dr apt for the 25th of April for an ultrasound, hopefully we will be able to tell the anatomy this time. I felt like it was a boy but the last time i went they said it looked like a gril but coulndt confirm it. My belly is really starting to pop out now, when I lye down there is this huge ball like bump there. Its all so new to me as this is my first pregnancy. I've noticed a lot of emotional ups and downs, is this normal to anyone? Another clue I think that im having a girl!! lol.

April 16

Can't say I have anything special to write here. I've had a horrible headache today, got nausiated after eating a breakfast wrap (wont do that again!) I've been trying to figure out names for my little peanut and so far my husband has shot down every name I've suggested,.. grrr.. so I guess it will be peanut for a long time still lol.

April 17

Me today

I cant believe how big I got!

April 21

I find out on Wednesday what I'm having!! This time there will be no mistake about it, I have to be far enough along by now! and if we can't find out than I guess this baby just wants to be a surprise! lol. wish me luck!

Ok, if peanut is a boy I was thinking of these names: Justin, Austin, or Vincent all w the middle name Michael ( its daddy's middle name of course ) if peanut is a girl I was thinking Jenna Marie, I really don't have much for girl names it's soooo hard to come up w a name!! help.............

April 23,

20 week bump

I had a dr apt today, I was hesitant to get on that dreaded scale. Unfortunately the nurse didn't let me persuade her into not taking my weight... lol ..and just as I suspected, I put on weight... 5 pounds, I wanted to die lol. ok ok It's all for the baby I know,, but then why does it seem its all going to my legs/hips/and butt!! my baby bump as you can see is still below my belly button, and a tight round ball in the center of my belly. I'm so excited to be having this baby but my body morphing into this fatness is a little scary. Anyone else feel this way? But the good news is the baby is healthy and the ultrasound is only two days away!! Me and my hubby are anxiously awaiting it! Will update when I find out.

April 25

Had my ultrasound today and....It's a GIRL!!!

Look at her little legs and tush!!!

My peanut is a girl, im so excited to finally know. Now i can pick out names and cute little girly stuff!

April 28

Baby in my belly at just about 21 weeks

May 5

Not much has changed, I've been feeling pretty good lately. Tonight I had Mexican food because it was my brother's girlfrien's birthday and she wanted to go there. Well, I think It's safe to say my daughtere hates Mexican food!! She woke me up just past midnight with a horrible stomach ache and throwing up. I have'nt thrown up for quite a while so this just really stinks. Other than that my princess is doing fine. I noticed she is starting to pop out more, It's starting to become more obvious to people that I'm pregnant and not just fat. lol.

May 11

Well my little darling has discovered kicking her mama! She has kept me up the last two nights, kicking and moving around in there. I think she thinks bedtime is playtime. So I'm up for hours while daddy sleeps soundly right next to us, not fair! lol. I'm overly anxious to get a big baby bump. I do feel her moving upwards now, and for the past week or so. She is about and inch and a half above my belly button now. I think Jenna is going to be one of those babies that pops in the last few months. I was thiking the other day, I bought a baby book for her when I first found out I was pregnant. I got so sick my first trimester that I had no energy and forgot to write anything in it for months. At this point I'm not even sure where it is!! I was thiking of using this as a journal so to speak and print it out for her. Complete with pictures she will have some idea of what her mommy went through on the wonderful journey of bringing her to life.

May 12

Well I caved in and got my hair dyed today. They say its safe after the first tri-mester but ive been so nervous, I dont want to hurt my little girl. I figured im about 23 weeks so if its safe after 12 weeks she should be ok. Also I bought her a book!! Her first book, Cinderella! lol. I'm so excited and can't wait to read it to her. They say babies can hear your voice and it soothes them when you sing and read to them. I hope so, I t hink she will like this book, it was always one of my favorite stories.

May 12

Well my husband just told me he wants a divorce. I've cried all I can, I'm out of tears and now in shock. I am so scared, I dont know what to do. I'm pregnant and he is leaving me. How can this be happening, I want to just wake up and this all be a bad dream. Some first Mother's Day............ ; (

May 13

I spent my first mothers day moving out out of my home. It took all day but I'm finally finished. Now It's all setting in and I feel hopeless. I feel like my heart has been riped out and shredded to pieces. I do love my husband but he does not feel that he can commit to being a father right now. So now I'm going to have to face motherhood alone, I'm scared to death. I feel like I've failed my daughter, I pray that somehow she still gets to know her daddy. How someone can leave thier pregnant wife is beyond me, but It's my luck- my life.

May 14

It's starting to hit me, feels like a ton of bricks on my shoulders. A bad dream I just can't get out of. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make my husband love me. I went to the apt to get the last of my things this am, he was very cold and didnt even look at me to say goodbye. I'm a mess , hysterically crying all the time. I can't sleep at night, I feel so alone and abandoned. The thought of having to go through the rest of this pregnancy alone is the most freightening though of all. The fact that my daughter will never know her father, breaks my heart. I just dont understand how someone can be so cold as to leave their pregnant wife. I dont have the strength or the courage to take off my wedding band, although he has already removed his, along with any pictures of us down from the apt. I guess he just wants to forget we exist. I'm glad its so easy for him to do, me on the other hand, i have a hard time with all of this-maybe its because i have a heart.

May 17

We had a long talk last night and he wants to try to work things out. He doesnt want to get back together just yet, he thinks the time apart is good for us. We are going to take one day at a time and see where things go. I dont want to get my hopes up becuase he could call me today and say something different. There is a glimer of hope, let's see where it takes us.

May 29

Well it has been about two weeks since i moved out, or just over. We had a fight last sat and he hung up on me, hasnt called me since. I havent called him either but why should I? he hung up on me. I told him he needed to stand up and be a real man, take care of his wife and baby, guess he didnt want to hear that. I'm so sad, trying to keep myself busy and not let the pain of my reality sink in. It's so hard though.

June 2

Well I found an apartnent, I'm sure things will be tight but at least I'll be out on my own and not dependant on anyone else. He couldnt hack living alone so moved 4 hrs away in with his brother. There is no working it out from what I can see, Jenna will just have to know a little about her dad from what I tell her I guess.

June 14

well i found out today that my husband is dating a puerto rican woman who is married or divorced not sure but she has 3 kids. he wont be a father to his own kid, but he will jump into something with a woman who has 3!! sometimes im just so amazed. he is threatening to terminate all his paternal rights to get out of paying child support. GOD i did not see this all panning out this way!!! i only wish i had known what kind of person he was before all of this happend. than, i would not be in this predicament

June 25

I've decided to cut off all communication with my "husband" I'm realizing he is too much stress and drama for me to handle and I need to focus on my baby now. I have about 11 weeks until her arrival, I know it seems like a long time but I'm sure it will go by fast. He on the other hand is only concerned about going out and partying, he has made a nice new group of partying friends but all the while he cant hold a job (yes he lost another one!) and has no place stable to live. Am I really missing out here?? lol. Anyway I'm just trying to be strong and hang in there, this is so hard but I know I'll come out the better person for it in the long run.

June 29

Well today is my one year wedding anniversary, no word from him. But I did get a present from him, he blasted all over his website flirty messages between him and her taking about how cute "thier son" is going to be and all this stuff. He said he was not ready to be a father, not mentally stable. He has been dating her for a few weeks and is already talking about having kids w her! unbelivable!! So right now in the midts of all my pain, I am relying on the kindness and love of the one being that will never forsake me GOD. I started praying and I have found some really great support people from my divorce support group. I'm trying to hang in there, it hurts I wont lie, the pain sometimes drives me nuts!! I did register at the hospital today, so I'm all ready to deliver, I cant wait!!!

My belly this morning 29.5 weeks getting big huh!

July 7

Well sat night he calls me, aparently he and the he/she broke up and he was all ditraught, he said he wanted to be a family and be there w me and the baby. I've never heard him so hysterical so I agreed to let him come over. We worked onus for hmm 2 days! She started pulling some stuff today and when I came home from work he was gone. He said he needed more "time" to figure out what he wants. HE NEEDS TIME??? WTF!! what about ME! He has no idea what kind of hell he has put me through. this constant yo yo with him is taking such an emotional toll on me. He has runined this whole pregnancy for me! I've waitned my whole life for this and I havent really been able to enjoy it because of all the drama associated with him. He wants me when its convineint for him, but when I need him, he is no where to be found. I have to really take a step back and think, why do I want someone like this in my life??? Why do I keep letting him walk all over me! He has absolutly NOTHING to offer me. He has NO JOB, no money, he is in more debt than I care to know about. WHY DO I WANT THIS???? WHAT IS WRONG W ME? I wish there was an easy answer. I wish i could figure out why I dont feel I deserve something better in my life. Anyone have any ideas on how to mend a broken heart and move on???

July 14

well last night i get a text msg from him at 4:30am saying he has been up all night thinking about us and wants to make things work. he is in orlando right now living on his friends' couch , 3 hrs away from me so its not like he can just come over and talk. we text each other for about 2 hrs today. i told him i want to believe him but he has said this before and i feel he will change his mind by tomorrow. so far he is consistant but its only been a day. he is hitting rock bottom so im not sure if that is the only reason he wants to be with me becuase im stable. i just cant emotionally handle him coming and going. i dotn know what to do , i want to believe him and of course i want my husband back, can this work? am i stupid for even considering this? any advice????

July 16

ok so today we talked and guess what,,, HE CHANGED HIS MIND AGAIN!! omg, i cant take much more of this, what drama! He became nasty again and mean, telling me its all my fault this happend and that I tricked him into having this baby and he never wanted her. Then he said had i had an abortion none of this would be happening. First of all our baby is no mistake, we TRIED FOR HER for almost two months on and off. ok so he changed his mind, and we stoped trying but it was too late. Our baby is not a mistake and i dont regret her for one minute! I havent even met her yet and I love her so much. He is being a big baby and he needs to stand up be a man and get over himself. then he went on and on saying how he shouldnt have to pay child support for a baby he never wanted. He is so hot and cold, how do you love me one min and want our family and the next hate us. What is wrong with this man!!!!

July 20

Well I talked to him today and he is back w that she male. she is sooo gross!!! what does he see in her??? oh well, im tired of bieng hurt by him and riding this emotional rollercoaster. I just want to focus on my baby and her arrival. He said he doesnt want to be ther for her birth if my family is going to be there. I told him if he is too ashamed to be there he will miss one of the most precious moments of his life, the birth of his daughter. So its up to him, he said he just doesnt want to deal w the drama and all that and he has too much pride. i was like ok, so your going to let your pride get in the way of you seeing your daughter be born? what a loser!! he is doing me the biggest favor of my lfie by leaving me alone now. I really hope that he stays out of my life now. it seems every time i start to get my stuff together he walks back in and messes everything up. I have decided that he can only do this to me if i allow it. so next time he calls me in the pitts of dispair, and he willl, i will just ignore his calls and texts. I cannot put myself of my daughter through this anymore. God bless my little angel, she is so strong to have endured all this stress already and she is not even born yet. I love her more than anything in the world and i cannot wait to meet her! I just hope she doesnt look too much like him!!! my baby will be loved and cared for , and the best thing her daddy can do is keep his distance. i wont allow him to hurt her anymore, and i wont allow him to walk in and out of her life the way he has done to me. She does not deserve that, she deserves the best life has to offer her and im gonna do my best to provide all that for her.

July21

My 32 week belly

August 10

Sorry its been so long sice i've put an update! My life has been crazy, yes Jeremy continues to love me one day and hate me the next when he gets back w his "girlfriend" lol. But to tell you the truth at this point I dont even care anymore, I use to but now I dont. It's not about him anymore, I'm getting so excited about the arrival of my baby girl. She is getting so big inside me, I love to feel her kick me It's off the charts cute. I'm so curious to know what she is going to look like. (Hopefully like me ) hahah. Her "father" has still not contributed a dime towards her start up costs, nor do I expect him to. He claims to have "no money" but when he needs to find gas money to drive three hours and back to see his gf he finds it. I calculated he must have spent $1500 at least on gas in the past few months going back and fwth to see her, that could of been spent on his daughter. But you know what, one day it will all come back to him. This girl he is dating is not only as ugly as the dickens but she is absolutely mentally insane, its perfect lol. Well that is just about all I have to update. I recently had a birthday and it was a lot of fun. I have 4.5 weeks left until I meet my little angel!!!

August 15

I had a dr apt on Monday and the Dr. said that since im having so many headaches that im at a high risk for toxemia and possible stroke during labor. He recommended that i do a c-section if the migraines continue. I called Jeremy to tell him, all he could say was "Keep me up dated if you want to and I have to go now" A whole 4 min convo, yeah he really cares. So today I texted him and said that I would not give him any more updates, that his lack of concern and compassion for the fact that I could possibly die giving birth to his child because of the stress he has caused me discusted me. If he wants to know what is going on w us he will have to make the effort to contact me. He did not respond. I know that he is in his new life with his apelike girlfriend but come on! His wife is due to give birth to his child in a matter of weeks and he does not care what so ever for either of our wellbeing. How could I of ever married such a cold man! I just feel bad that my baby will have a father who is as mean as him. But, im sure he will not make any effort to be in her life so maybe she will never have to know the person he really is. That is my update for today, blah.. I just cant wait to meet my little girl, I know she will bring me joy and keep me busy and I so need that right now!

August 20

Had a dr. apt today, NOTHING IS HAPPENING lol.. No dialation, she is head down, strep-b came back negative. My cervix is still "long and closed" guess that means she is stitting pretty in there lol.. I was thinking she has to be bored in there..why doesnt she want to come out! lol. The crib my sister's friend gave me was missing a vital piece so last friday my mom and i split the cost of a new crib, i really like it. It should arrive sometime late this week or beginning of next week. I'm so excited i'll have to post pictures of it when i get it put up. I'm getting so anxious to meet my little princess, she kicks me all day long, gosh i'm gonna miss that when she is out but then again i'll be able to hold , hug and kiss her so i'm sure i'll be ok.

August 27

I had a dr apt today and still nada... ugh.. the dr said she is aprox. 7 pounds and i still have two more weeks to go until she is due! gosh i hope she doesnt get too much bigger. I'm having a really hard time sleeping and getting around the last few days, this girl has popped out so much its amazing. I'm just so over the feeling of being pregnant, I feel so uncomfortable and grumpy! lol.. I just want to meet my daughter already. Tonight as i was trying to lye down to watch some TV I got kicked really hard in the ribs. I tried to move her little foot over, took a while but I finally got it to move lol. then I looked down and thought wow,, I'm huge! lol so i got the camera and snapped a quick shot. here it is........

Sept. 1

I finally got her crib put together!! I did it all by myself! here is the pic,, I cant wait to see her in it.. OMG my baby girl is almost here!!!

Sept 2

Well I figured I'd try to do the right thing and open the door for Jer's family to be involved in the baby's life. I emailed his brother Jason on myspace today :

"Hi Jason,
as you know I'm due to give birth to your niece any day now. If you want to be updated on what is going on with her, just let me know and I'll be happy to fill you in. After all she is a part of you too. I have no intentions of keeping her from you or anyone in your family who wants to be a part of her life. I'd be happy to send you pictures if you like, just let me know. If you want to reach me you can call me on my cell 561 xxx-xxxx. Hope all is well with you.

Anna "

Well he read the email, but no response. I guess the whole family is cut from the same mold. How can EVERYONE in his family not give a sh** about this baby!! Nothing is her fault, that her father is a horses ass. But yet just because he ran away they all have to turn their backs on her?? ok, well, I did my part, I opened the door for him to be in her life, i was nice and cordial. He is chosing to have nothing to do with her. sorry for all the venting lol..

Sept 3

I was kinda hoping to go into labor on Labor Day hehe.. no such luck.. anyway here is a pic of my 39 week belly,, one more week to go!