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29 years old, on birth control and then 1+1=3! Surprise! Don't get me wrong I am exstatic! I am so happy about this little miracle! Daddy was a little shocked and it's going to take him some time to get used to this surprise but he is being very loving and supportive (most of the time)! My mom is happy and my dad is a little nervous! As I said I am happy but I am also terrified. This will be my first pregnancy and first baby, Daddy has 2.

I asked the Dr today if he would be willing to induce 3 weeks early so I could get a tax break in 2008, I guess that's not on the menu of options :) I think we should be able to claim them though as a dependent anyways, they are solely dependent on us for 9 months of the year :)

6/17/08

It's official Baby's Daddy is not going to participate, I asked if he was going to go to my appointment next week and he said nope. Well I guess I will chalk this up to learning. Looks like as I had decided I will be moving home to Arizona to be with my family, I think I will wait until I am almost 20 weeks though.sometime in August or September (I just want to be sure everything is fine with pregnancy before I go moving across the country again away from friends and the water.)

6/20/08

Agh is there a way to get our emotions under control? One minute I am happy the next I want to cry. I don't know if I am coming or going most times.

6/23/2008

Rocky Road! and I don't mean the ice cream. Daddy broke my heart today.....we were talking and he said....."There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and our baby" I just started crying. I told him I have to go home to Arizona and that I hope we can make it work. I think he finally understands why I have to go home, it's not that I don't love him, his kids, or his family, it's that I need MY Family. I told him I couldn't turn to his mom or anyone in his family and feel like a part of the family, I need to be able to turn to my mommy and ask for help, and I need to know that my family is there. These emotions are bad enough without the pregnancy influence, I am so in love with him, but I still have to walk away. (oh and looking back to comment on 6/17/08, Daddy did want to go to appt just was being a booger, so when he changed his mind I said I didn't want him there and wouldn't tell him when it was.......I so wish I hadn't been so stubborn and that he had been there today to see our bouncing, kicking, punching baby.......LADIES don't be stubborn, if you think you may want him there swallow your pride and tell him you want him and need him there, if he goes great if he doesn't at least you know it's his fault not yours.)

7/01/2008

Found out today that daddy told his parents about baby. I asked him to have his mom call me that I needed to be able to talk to them from my side and make sure they understood my decision to go home. I was also terrified that they would say it was all my fault, but I was elated to hear him say that when he said to them that it was my fault, and it was my responsibilty his dad stood up and said "Damnit Son she didn't do it on her own! It takes two!" And when I did talk to his mom she also said that. She was also very supportive of the fact that everything happens for a reason and this is God's plan. We had a wonderful talk. I was also elated to hear her say even though it will break daddies heart, and it saddens them that they won't be able to have as close a relationship with their grandchild she thinks if I think it's best to go home she agrees. She said she wouldn't say she supported it but she said if I was her daughter she would want me at home to, and I have to do what's best for me and the baby right now. Now I am dreading when daddies grandma, a strict religious woman that doesn't believe in sex before marriage (I hope she wasn't that oblivious to know that he and I were together for 2 yrs and didn't have sex???), that she has a "strong love" for me, and her grandson (babies daddy) is her favorite , that we are having a child out of wedlock. But she is also the one who told me she looked forward to the day that he and I are married and that we would have a child. I guess she just got the image mixed up and first comes love, then comes break up, then comes baby in a baby carriage.

7/08/2008

Yesterday I went to Dr and little heartbeat was just thumping away. Dr told me it would be a good idea to head home to Arizona. I have another Dr appt on August 4 and I am leaving here to go home to Arizona about a week after that. I am going to pack up my apartment this weekend and put furniture in storage, Baby Daddy said he would help me sell furniture or would get it out to me when I need it. I am very nervous about going home to pack, I know it's going to be very emotional and I am going to try my hardest to keep calm, I know stress just stresses baby, and this poor child doesn't need any gray hair at birth :)

7/13/2008

So I went home on Friday, Daddy was again non-participant. I ended up having to pack everything, load everything in my car (it's amazing what you can do when you are ticked off), and got friends over to take all the furniture to their homes (I don't want to haul anything across country). I was all done by Saturday at 4pm, tired as can be. I then made the 3 hour drive home after getting dinner and saying bye to some friends. Today I spent most of the day in bed, I was emotionally and physically exhausted.

7/18/2008

I got my at home doppler yesterday! It is awesome to hear that little heartbeat at home, it also gives you amazing piece of mind.

On another note, how do you go about telling a friend of yours that you could possibly have a relationship with in the future that you are 4 months pregnant? I am of course going to wait till I get home and tell him to his face, but anybody have any creative ideas?

7/27/2008

I am leaving to go to my permanent home in Arizona this week! I am nervous yet very excited! Also very excited about job interviews and maybe having a job.

Got my first baby present today!!!! A wonderful couple that are friends of mine brought me a super soft blankie and a binkie holder! I was so excited!!!!!

7/30/2008

Today I went to the doctor and I found out that I have an interesting medical condition for women, it's called........................ I HAVE A PENIS IN MY BELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a BOY! My friends are making jokes about the fact that yes a penis is what got you to where you are today so it's only fitting that there still be one inside you!

I leave for home tomorrow, I am a bit nervous but also so excited to be with my family and friends!
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8/01/2008

Arrived home in Arizona today! 1600+ miles driving, 24 hours total on the road, too many pee pee stops to count, 5 hours through Texas without cell service, 0 speeding tickets, and Home Safe!!!!!!!!!

08/17/2008

I start my new job tomorrow! I am soooooo excited! Things are going well, living one day at a time in Arizona. I told my male friend that I am pregnant, he took it well. He said he can't consider a relationship right now because he is too confused, but wants to remain friends, and he also told me he would teach my son to pee on a tree :) I am doing good, baby is kicking me constantly, very active little guy. Daddy is still not active, we communicate very little about other things we need to clear up, but he doesn't ask about baby, and I don't volunteer info. Big Bootie Head! How can he not ask how is baby is doing? Growing? Argh!