Saturday 29th March

What a rollercoaster this has been. This is my first update as it is the first day I feel a little positive about my pregnancy.

I found out I was pregnant on 1st February (my bestest mate Loubies birthday) and was somewhat shocked but very happy I did the first test while my other half Sam was on the phone - then had to walk about 2 miles to the shop to buy 2 more just to check! 3 BFP! By my LMP dates I was exactly 5 weeks. On the evening of 4th Feb I started to spot quite heavily - needed P/L's. I did not tell Sam as I did not want him to worry all night too. We went to the Dr's int he morning and were told it was threatened M/C and were sent to the hospital that afetrnoon for a u/s. And there was a small gestatinal sac - all seemed well - but we were told anything can happen. They booked me back in for a check up u/s on the 25th Feb. I continued to spot for about 4 more days.

WELL - 25TH FEB 2008 - U/S follow up. Very nervous but by this point I was sick every morning, nauseus all day and soooo tired you would not believe. The sonographer took ages trying to get measurements and finally told me it was double good news!!! NOT FUNNY - I WAS HAVING TWINS - At this point I told Sam he was fired! Much to the amusement of the sonographer. So there you have it I'm having Identical Twins. I was also told I was 7w4d which putme back 6 days on what I thought I was. (BUT 6 days back and twins are normally only 37 weeks so 3 weeks forward at the same time - knew there had to be a good point.

On Wed 5th March I had what I believed was round ligament pain and stretching pains - this continued right through Thursday and by the evening I was ademant that if it still hurt on Friday I'd go to the Dr's. Friday morning came and no pains while lying in bed so decided not to worry - I went to the toilet and it was like someone had thrown a cup of blood down - bright red hugh bleed. So I got Sam little bro out of bed to get ready for school. Phoned Sam to come home, His mum to collect Liam - got dressed, made lunches and breakfast and left for the hospital.

The triage nurse really let me down. I had broken down by this point to be told 'most 1st time pregnancies end in m/c - mine did - you can go on to have a normal pregancy you know' - she had not even examined me. They sent me to the EPU who did an internal and got me to scan within about an hour. By this point I'd gone from crying to laughing but could not reason why and all Sam kept telling me was that everything was ok He could feel it. The scan is the one pictured above measuring 9w and 9w1d spot on with strong heartbeats. A hugh relief.

I have since had my midwife appointment and my next scan is on Monday 31st March. I am apprehensive as my symptoms have all gone no more sore boobs, m/s, nausea or tiredness - I am just hoping that I am lucky and everything is ok. My thoughts go out to Paula a friend of mine who miscarried last week, and all the other woman who are going throught he same thing. Paula said that there must have been a problem for things not to work out. She's going to try again.

I have been having to worst dreams ever but woke up this morning and was sure I felt a flutter - it was different to the normal wind or muscle movement. I will wait till Manday before I start getting to excited. I am praying that there are still 2 in there and they are both healthy.

Monday 31st March

Well after a really anxious few weeks I finally had my 12 week scan and saw 2 healthy little bubs. They also moved me forward a week so my due date is 2nd Oct! yippee even less time to wait to meet them. Going for a 4D scan on Wednesday. I can not belive how relieved I feel.

Wednesday 23rd April

Well I have my consultant appointment tomorrow. I have found out that the care I receiving from my local hospital is not what I should be getting. Due to having mcda (ID) twins I should be being scanned every 2 weeks due to the risk of TTTS. Well I get a 12 week, 20 weeka nd 4-6 weeks thereafter. I have also spoken wiht people who had twins at my local and had the diagnosis missed causing them to be sent to a specialist hospital and havign problems. I am going to fight my corner and make sure I get the care I need or ask for a referral. I will update you shortly.

Thursday 5th June

I had a real wobble this morning. I only started feel bubs about 4 days ago and yesterday and last night there was nothing. I did not sleep a wink last night and was all upset and worried this morning. So I took myself to the hospital and saw the midwife (who was really nice) we heard the heartbeats and she got the consultant for me too just to check - I got a quick mobile scan and saw them both (really put my mind at rest) it was not my normal consultant but he was really good and the midwife told me not to apologies for feeling like that and to go back if I get like it again. That's what they are there for and she gave me a big cuddle too.

Wednesday 18th June

Well I am 24w6d - off to week 25 tomorrow. I was so pleased to make 24 weeks the word viability had not even crossed my mind until I actually made it and realised what a difference it makes to my Bubs. I have been feeling much more movement recently - although I was concerned it was all to one side (the left - obviously the fidget). I saw the midwife and explained about my concern that I was not getting the same care as others I know with twins in the UK. She actually advised me to put it in writing. She also told me that both twins heatbeats were fine and I could go back whenever I needed if it gave me peace of mind.

We have painted the nursery and put up the border - I have nothing more to buy other than some more terry nappies. BUT I have a mental block at the moment about unpacking and washing stuff. I have one moses basket out at present. I just have a huge doubt in my mind about beginning to wash bits as I feel like I am going to Jinx my pregnancy. Deep down all I think is the chances of losing both of them is really slim (But still a possibilty) but what are the chances of them both being healthy? I hate thinking like this but my fear is stronger than me! Who would ever have belived that I had motherly instincts.

I am hoping that I make it to 36 weeks and am going to ask my consultant to deliver on 4th Sept (he has mentioned 38 weeks but I really don't think I can go that far). Both twins are breech and he has said in that case I will need a c-section anyway. I hope deep down they do not arrive between the 17th and 22nd August as my DH is away in Manchester for 5 nights! It's about 4 hours away by car. We would both be really dissapointed if he missed the arrival of them. He is really excited about becoming a Daddy and I know he is going to great at it. I could not have wished for a greater man to be with me on this journey.