birthmothernikkole's profile

birthmothernikkole
birthmothernikkole has 1 days to go and is now in week 39
	Age: 21 Country: US Province/region: Pennsylvania City: Elizabethtown Partner: Boyfriend Brandon Children: Pregnant: Yes Due date: 18 May ,2008 Occupation: College Student
	Online: 13 hours ago. Last updated: 8 days ago. Member since: 176 days
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A little man's hiccup!!

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Hello! Well, my name is Nikkole (o: I'm 20 years old and a Junior at Elizabethtown College. I'm a Social Work major and proud of it!! My boyfriend ”the â€śbaby daddy" aka Brandon and I have been together since my freshman year in college (02/17/06)!

Things back home have always been bad, so I moved out the summer of '06 and actually moved in with Brandon and his family. I don't speak to my family--other than my birth father who I just have reconnected with since I turned 18 and the restraining order my mother put on him was taken away.

I was actually on birth control pills when I conceived, but everything happens for a reason, so here we are. Sadly, we are in no shape to truly support our baby. Although I would love to keep him, and REALLY wish I could, it is smarter to allow them to have a better life with people who have the ability to provide everything he. I opted out of the abortion route--which my boyfriend initially thought of--and I have decided to have an open adoption. (Personally, I need to have it open. I need to make sure I picked the right family, that my baby is safe/happy/loved.)

I'm not sure yet as to how open to make the adoption though-- I've talked to people who have decided to have visits with their child, and I have talked to people who have actually had the adoptions and decided to not see the child until he/she is ready. I understand both. All I am sure of is that I want to have pictures and letters from at least the AP. If anyone has any experience with this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE drop me a line and let me know what you did/how you liked/disliked it!!!

A few things I read in one of the books my AMAZING Social Worker gave me called 'Given in Love'.

-To remember is painful. To forget is impossible.

-There will probably be times when you need to let your tears flow. Crying is not breaking down, it's breaking into tears. Crying is a gentle melting. Don't hold your tears back if you need to cry. Don't be afraid that if you start to cry you won't stop.

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Comments 76-100 of about 190 to birthmothernikkole
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1sttimebabymama696 - Sunday, 23 Mar
Hi, I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know I have a lot of respect for what you're doing, and think that you're a great mom for being as selfless as you are. I hope things get easier with your dude's ex, she sounds like a skank, and it seems like she is jealous of you because you have him and she doesn't. good luck with everything, and remember the hormones are almost over :)

winnowillr - Friday, 21 Mar
They haven't given me a diet to follow yet. It's furstrating, but at least I know I have an appointment on Tuesday. I'm just doing the best I can in the meantime!
I think it would be a wonderful gift to send a Mother's Day card to the adoptive Mom. I'm sure she would treasure that forever!
Have you sceduled a day to meet them yet? It does help to have the social worker with you for the first meeting. It can get awkward, especially the first half hour. After that it was easier and conversation flowed!
I know you're going through a lot emotionally right now. You hang in there, hun, and know that I am still praying for you!
-Winnie

cali.momma - Thursday, 20 Mar
omg id be SOOOO insanely nervous!! youre going to basically be in these peoples lives forever, ya know? ugh im fine, just swollen from work. it stresses me out!

cali.momma - Wednesday, 19 Mar
have you met them? id be so nervous about eating dinner with them. lol i dont know why. how old is this couple, do you know? lol, i hate when roads are closed. for about 3 months now theyve been redoing all the roads around here; its sooo irritating cus people dont know how to drive

cali.momma - Wednesday, 19 Mar
hey you :]
hows everything goin over there?

babyKsmama - Sunday, 16 Mar
Do you think you'll change your mind and keep your child? I mean giving birth can change ppls minds.. im just wondering. lol.

liz82 - Saturday, 15 Mar
thanks . i hope you enjoy your weekend .
=]

winnowillr - Saturday, 15 Mar
It feels great to know you found 'the one', doesn't it? Have you set up a meeting yet, or are you going by gut instinct?
It's getting harder for me, too, but every time I meet with the adoptive Mom, I am reminded that I am doing what's right for this child and my family. I can't help but fall in love with this child, and it hurts to know I won't be able to spend my days rocking it to sleep. But, I have confidence that they will be able to provide so much more than I ever could, both physically AND emotionally.
Did you hear I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes? It's frustrating, cuz they haven't given me a diet plan to follow yet. I'm just doing the best I can with my limited knowledge. All my other children were overdue, but the doc said he may have to induce me early if the baby gets too big. Umm.. My children I have given birth to average 9 pounds birthweight each... And GD can make babies biggier than normal... ACK!
I hope you're feeling well, and that everything is moving along smoothly! Keep me informed!!
-Winnie

liz82 - Friday, 14 Mar
CONGRATS ON THE PREGNANCY HOW ARE YOU FEELING ?

sonia - Friday, 14 Mar

i was looking at your pics an they are just so cute i love the tatoos but i seen in one of them it looks like you do not have them anymore. not sure if its just the angle

cali.momma - Friday, 14 Mar
can you call tomorrow?? snatch them up! heh

cali.momma - Friday, 14 Mar
aww that would be perfect! can you meet them in person beforehand?

cali.momma - Friday, 14 Mar
oh i know its cute huh :]

cali.momma - Friday, 14 Mar
OMG THEN SNATCH THAT COUPLE!! they sound sooo good. i mean, not many people would quit work. are they far from you? i think you told me they lived across the country or something. i dont remember lol

cali.momma - Friday, 14 Mar
omg that would be AMAZING if she stayed home with him! thats great :] is that the one that wont give you their last name, or anymore than 1 pic? if so, id back out on that family. thats WAYYY weird! and its YOUR baby. id be like..oh helllll no! hah.

cali.momma - Thursday, 13 Mar
heh alright :] i cant imagine how hard it would be to chose. i wouldnt be able to lol. id find the smalllllest flaw in everyone lol. well i gotta get to work, but let me know what happens!!

cali.momma - Thursday, 13 Mar
heyy. how are you doing? have you chose that family for sure yet?

mlmmdjm - Thursday, 13 Mar
Bravo to you!!! I have total respect for you knowing you can't provide what your child will need and taking the steps to make sure he/she never wants. I wish you the best in life and happiness!

kelly.m - Wednesday, 12 Mar
hello

that video of the hic-cup is just sooooooooooo cute, I love it!!!

winnowillr - Friday, 7 Mar
The best way to handle the discomfort walking is to just take it slow and steady and easy.
When you make your decision on the parents, make sure to let me know! I want to share your excitement! How often do you plan on seeing the baby? We;ve made arrangements to see ours twice a year and get frequent photos and updates.
Our adoptive parents live about 45 minutes away from us, so it makes it easy for them to be involved in the pregnancy. They might even make it to the hospital before me, hahaah!
You take care, hun, and just think... Only 10 more weeks!!!! That's the only thing keeping me going right now! ;)
-Winnie

xMrsGirouxXMommyX1 - Friday, 7 Mar
Hey Congrate!! wat r u haven??

samzie - Tuesday, 4 Mar
reading ur story broke my heart i think ur amazing to do wht ur doing all the best hun xx

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