birthmothernikkole's profile

birthmothernikkole
birthmothernikkole has 1 days to go and is now in week 39
	Age: 21 Country: US Province/region: Pennsylvania City: Elizabethtown Partner: Boyfriend Brandon Children: Pregnant: Yes Due date: 18 May ,2008 Occupation: College Student
	Online: 12 hours ago. Last updated: 8 days ago. Member since: 176 days
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A little man's hiccup!!

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Hello! Well, my name is Nikkole (o: I'm 20 years old and a Junior at Elizabethtown College. I'm a Social Work major and proud of it!! My boyfriend ”the â€śbaby daddy" aka Brandon and I have been together since my freshman year in college (02/17/06)!

Things back home have always been bad, so I moved out the summer of '06 and actually moved in with Brandon and his family. I don't speak to my family--other than my birth father who I just have reconnected with since I turned 18 and the restraining order my mother put on him was taken away.

I was actually on birth control pills when I conceived, but everything happens for a reason, so here we are. Sadly, we are in no shape to truly support our baby. Although I would love to keep him, and REALLY wish I could, it is smarter to allow them to have a better life with people who have the ability to provide everything he. I opted out of the abortion route--which my boyfriend initially thought of--and I have decided to have an open adoption. (Personally, I need to have it open. I need to make sure I picked the right family, that my baby is safe/happy/loved.)

I'm not sure yet as to how open to make the adoption though-- I've talked to people who have decided to have visits with their child, and I have talked to people who have actually had the adoptions and decided to not see the child until he/she is ready. I understand both. All I am sure of is that I want to have pictures and letters from at least the AP. If anyone has any experience with this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE drop me a line and let me know what you did/how you liked/disliked it!!!

A few things I read in one of the books my AMAZING Social Worker gave me called 'Given in Love'.

-To remember is painful. To forget is impossible.

-There will probably be times when you need to let your tears flow. Crying is not breaking down, it's breaking into tears. Crying is a gentle melting. Don't hold your tears back if you need to cry. Don't be afraid that if you start to cry you won't stop.

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Comments 151-175 of about 190 to birthmothernikkole
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jewlo - Tuesday, 8 Jan
I have two friends from Altoona

ACK! - Monday, 7 Jan
Since my BF and I have started the process, we have learned a lot and I've got tons of advice to share if you're interested. My biggest piece of advice is to get your own attorney. Unfortunately there are a few bad apples out there to spoil the whole bunch and I would do whatever I could to make sure that my interests are represented and advocated for. The adoptive parents and the agency are going to have their own representation, so I'd make sure that I cannot be in a position to be bullied around at my most volunerable time. I am not saying that it will definitely happen, just advising to prepare for it. Besides, it doesn't cost you a dime. In every state, the adoptive parents are required to pay all your medical, pychological and legal expenses. Beyond that, it is state by state as to what expenses the adoptive parents can pay. Also, please remember that adoption agencies are businesses first and have bottom lines to look after. If you would like, I have some documents and resouces that I'd be happy to pass along to help you with your search for adoptive parents and working with agencies.

ACK! - Friday, 4 Jan
I saw your comment on the adoption message board about the private comments that you've been getting and was completely floored. I am so sorry that you are having this experience. I am also going through some of the same things you are, but have had a positive experience so far. I think you are being very mature and working on issues that are legally the most important decisions that you'll ever have to make and most people are fortunate never to have to make them. You are obviously a very loving, strong and self-aware person. I wish you the best.

khendraann - Friday, 4 Jan
Thank you! Your pictures are way cute too!! Again, that is so amazing of you to recognize that you can't give him all that you want for him right now and someone else can! I think God puts people in this world like you on purpose, for all the woman that can't make their own babies.

khendraann - Friday, 4 Jan
Hello! Just wanted to let you know that I have A LOT of respect for you, continuing the pregnancy and puting your baby up for adoption! It takes a really special, and strong kind of person to be so selfless and do that :) Best of luck with everything!!

winnowillr - Thursday, 3 Jan
It must be really hard for you to go through all this with the Daddy so far away... I have my husband with me, but I still get lonely when he works his long hours. Especially afterwards. Make sure to take care of yourself, and if depression kicks in hard, don't be afraid to seek help. I'm already trying to set up mental health for after my delivery. It will be hard, but we can do it!
I don't have a scale at home, either, so it's hard for me to keep track of my weight between appointments. I do know I feel sooo much heavier! But, my legs and looking trimmer, too. As long as the baby is growing properly, I say let it feed of my thigh fat! LOL! Doc actually says I am measuring large for 21 weeks, so my body is definately meeting baby's needs.
Have you picked out a family yet? I'm sure you will find a wonderful couple to raise your baby. I know I was so relieved and grateful when I found the parents for my baby.
As for the questions you have about adoption... The answers can vary from situation to situation. If you want to spend time with the baby in the hospital, speak up! If you want family and friends to see birth and your newborn, speak up!!! Tell your doctor and your adoption counselor, so your wants can be known and worked with.
I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. It helps a lot to know that I'm not the only one choosing adoption and a better life for my child.
Good luck with everything! Keep me updated!!!
-Winnie

MommyinMD - Wednesday, 2 Jan
Hi, I have never gone through an adoption, but I'd just like to say that I appreciate your selflessness in having the baby and sharing him with a family that maybe couldn't otherwise have kids. I get so sad when I hear of people choosing abortion over adoption. Best of luck to you.

Savannah - Wednesday, 2 Jan
Your friends from high school are too young to understand what having a baby entails. It is a major life change with huge amounts of responsibility 24 hours a day. Believe me, I am so glad I wasn't doing this in my 20s! You are mature and are being realistic as well as giving your child the best life you can. Hang in there and God bless you.

wigles16 - Tuesday, 1 Jan
I'm keeping my baby not saying theres a right or wrong way to go about it but I loved the movie it's like the perfect date movie I'm sure you'll like it alot~!

teenMOMMIE - Tuesday, 1 Jan
i got mine at old navy, but the old navy i bought them at, doesnt sell maternity, so when they are returned, theyre automatically 75 percent off. heh. so they were 32.50 down to 6.77 or something like that. i love them, but i lost so much weight in the beginning i didnt think about getting a smaller size. so they are huge in the butt and thighs. theyre cool tho, cus theyre called 'roll-over' ones or something. like the stretchy on the top rolls to be low rise, but later in the pregnancy when you might want more support on top, you can unroll them. theyre comfy if only they fit

wigles16 - Tuesday, 1 Jan
Hey idk how much of a movie person you are but a really good movie I saw recently kind of dealt with the whole adoption scene...Juno it's a pretty good movie sorry I don't have anymore advice but I do think you are truely doing a wonderful thing!

Savannah - Tuesday, 1 Jan
I commend you for your decision. We adopted our daughter after years of infertility problems. You are giving your child a life and people that are adopting are so ready for a baby that your child will have a wonderful life. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. You are mature and have not chosen to abort and take the easy way out. Thank god for people like you that will complete an infertile couple's lives. It will be hard I'm sure but taking care of a baby is very demanding. I have days that I am seriously pulling my hair out! Take care and happy new year.

mjerniga - Monday, 31 Dec
Hi, I was reading your questions about the adoption and I am not sure if someone has answered them or not, but my aunt has 2 adopted children. One is a special needs boy from Romania and the other is a girl she adopted from another Michigan woman. Obviously she does not know the parents of the Romanian boy but I know that they are in contact with the woman who gave birth to their daughter. The birth mother has as much contact as she would like, but I think that she kind of backed off after a while (the little girl is now 5) because she has other children to raise. I think it is important to find a family that makes you the most comfortable with the situation. There are families out there that are so desperately wanting children (my aunt for example-couldn't have children, but all 6 of her brothers and sisters have 5+ kids) that they should want to work with you to create the best environment for you and the baby. Good luck!

mommagin - Sunday, 30 Dec
now that you are feelin the baby move...have you thought about changing your mind about keepin him....i hope you have...take care

lilmammas - Saturday, 29 Dec
ive been doing really good just enjoying being pregnant

lilmammas - Friday, 28 Dec
congrats on the baby boy how u doin

teenMOMMIE - Thursday, 27 Dec
yeah they know. especially with my big ol belly. i wouldnt trust a tiny clinic that gives you medicine when youre sick for my baby, especialy cus the stupid doc told me i wasnt preg, when at that time i was 5 weeks. i went home and took my own and i was :P

teenMOMMIE - Thursday, 27 Dec
it was only the clinic, so i dont know if the baby is ok. ive checked its heart rate and its staying fairly average. its average is 156, but once it was 172, so i was kinda ehh

kerriberri74 - Monday, 24 Dec
Sounds like your little one has hiccups! lol they are a different feeling, kind of cool though. Best wishes to you and Happy Holidays.

noel - Monday, 24 Dec
I read your comment in fetal movements - I kept feeling this tapping in my belly. It was fast and regular, almost like a heartbeat but too slow to be that. I wasn't sure what it was and kept forgetting to ask my OB. Well last week I was holding my newborn nephew and he had the hiccups - they were so fast! I realized that was what I had been feeling in my belly. I don't know if that's what your feeling or not, but you can always check with your OB. Best wishes with your little one and happy holidays!

robinylazunzun - Sunday, 23 Dec
it sounds like your baby has the hiccups! they get that from practicing breathing and then accidentally inhaling amnionic fluid. its not dangerous at all, just funny feeling...my baby gets them all the time!

teenMOMMIE - Wednesday, 19 Dec
i was SOOOO scared. i seriously thought my baby had died. then i heard it again :D i love hearing it

army.wife.07 - Tuesday, 18 Dec
That sounds like the perfect type of open adoption to me. That way you stay connected, so that when he wants to find you when he is older, it will be much easier. It took me 2 weeks to find my birth mother, and then 2 weeks to find the guy she THOUGHT was my birth father (kind of sad, but she was young and dumb as she says), then the paternity test proved otherwise. Pictures and letters are a great way for you to know how your little guy is doing and that he is okay so you don't have to worry. I don't know how the heck Angie (my birthmother) dealt with not knowing a single thing about me, and not knowing if I was okay or not. It must have been tough. You sound like you are doing really well, and I know that when the time comes for you to be a Mommy, you are going to do such a wonderful job! You have so much respect from me for making this decision!

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