I am a Christian and have a very deep faith in ourLord Jesus Christ. I pray all the time. I pray for everyone. God will see us through any and everything.

I have the best parents in the whole world-they picked me, as I was adopted when I was 20 days old. I have always known I was chosen by them. They treat me no different than they do they do their biological son, my brother, who is 10 yrs older than I am. That is why I am so against abortion and for adoption. See, had I been aborted by my birth mom, I would be here today...

I would love to one day be financially able to adopt, to share our love, and give another child the chance of an awesome life that they may not have otherwise had, like my parents and loving family did for me.

My oldest son, Jake, has enlisted in the Army and leaves for training in July, the day before his 18th birthday. I am so proud of him. Where did all of the years go? Seems just like yesterday I was 19 and he was born. Looking back now, I guess he and I grew up together. We are very close, he is my heart. Our personalities are so very much alike. Jake is a natural athlete. He especially excelled in football and baseball and was a kicker/punter on Louisiana's Class 4A Football Team for two years. Go Rams. We are all avid RAM fans! And we're still the 3 time (2005, '06 and '07) defending State Champs. My Alma Mater as well, as well as my parents! I was a cheerleader there, on the Homecoming Court three years while attending there and My hubby coached there for 6 yrs.. Did I mention we are huge Ram fans, lol! Hubby now teaches/coaches at a smaller high school an hour away from home just so that he can finish his Master's Degree in Education/Supervision. He will graduate from the Master's Program in July of this year. I am awfully proud of him too.

My youngest, Colton, is a football player and also plays baseball. He is a very loving and considerate child. He is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his little brother, so that he can be a 'big brother.' I enjoy watching my both of my kids play sports over the years. Dont know what I'd do if it weren't for baseball and football practices and games... I LOVE IT! Colton is a typical ALL boy and is very into any and all science related things, ie, the space, stars, nature, bugs, spiders, any kinda creepy crawly creature- he is fascinated by the different types of weather, he loves basically anything having to do with science. Which is right up my hubby's alley, as he is a high school Chemistry, Physics, and Environmental Science teacher. He is always showing Colton new experiements and letting Colton test the experiments. My husband is really just a big kid at heart!!!!

MARCH 4, 2008

i am so glad to have found this website. feel like i have found some great friends who are going through high risk and tough pregnancies. i am feeling so miserable. sometimes i feel like all i do is complain. i am just so tired of hurting from this kidney stone and stent! i have been hurting almost continuously for the past 2 days. Have only gotten 2-3 hrs sleep out of 48. dont know how much more my body can handle. i have been hurting on and off since the 10th of feb. been having contractions since the middle of january. they get better when i get my iron infusions, for a few days anway. then they start back. i am so tired and worn out and i cant fall asleep! my belly and back hurt-burning and pulling in my tummy and my back hurts 24/7 i do not know if it baby/pregnancy related or due to the stone and stent. i worry so much. i am hoping for a healthy full term baby. .i feel so helpless. i have been told by ob and urologist there is really nothing else that can be done for the kidney stone since i am pregnant without putting the baby at great risk until i am further along. i feel so miserable. my house is a disaster area and every time i do the least little thing, i end up hurting very bad.

i know i need some sleep, that is prob why i am venting/complaining like this. i can even think straight i am so worn out!ok now, i am gonna try to go and cook dinner.

March 12-8:45 am

I had a really bad night last night- I did not sleep at all last night, and i mean not one minute of sleep did i get. I hurt from the kidney stone and my kidneykeeps becoming blocked again as I can not pee for long periods of time, but feel the need to every few minutes, try to and cant, causing horrible pressure and pain! Then finally I will be able to pee, then the cycle starts all over again, every few minutes. I dont know how I am functioning on such little sleep. I cried like a baby this morning before hubby had to leave for work at 6:15 am. I know he wanted to stay with me, I feel bad for making him probably feel guilty for having to leave me. But I am so tired of hurting, my body is so worn out from this pain and lack of rest. He is my rock and comfort, he always makes me feel better. I am going to try my best to get some much needed sleep, I know I need it for the baby. Lord, I pray- please let me get some sleep and rest today......... I can not do this on my own! Please take this pain away and keep our baby safe inside me for a while longer, a few more weeks....and bless my whole family and everyone, you know our every need....I love you...... Amen

3/13/08 620 pm

ok i am totally bummed! my ob just called me to check on me. i called yesterday and missed his call when he called back yesterday. i told him i was hurting almost all the time from the stone/stent/kidney blockage. and am not being able to sleep at night. he told me i could take benadryl to help me sleep.... and that he and the Urologist have been discussing me and both agree that its best to leave the stent in until i have the baby!!! so i am really upset! i cannot stop crying. i am tired of this pain,its awful. i told him that. i am to go have blood drawn tomorrow and leave a urine specimen at his office tomorrow. then i have my reguar ob appt with him on monday. i feel so miserable. .......

3/22/07 10:00 pmJ

I just got home from hospital. I got admitted yest afternoon d/t severe kidney stone pain and blockage. its been rough. i am hurtin again now, so i will update more later when i am feeling better.

Monday, 24 Mar

3/23well i am feeling a litle better. got home from hospital last nite. had to be readmitted saturday evening, i was hurting so bad from the stone and pressure i couldnt urinate, i was crying so badly. they gave me IV fluids, demerol IV and another iron infusion thru my IV, not sure why they gave me the iron since i had just had the shot thursday night.

my nurse `s were great. they got my IV started as soon as we got there and got my demerol going. i think my parents got to the hosp before we even got there! we were on our way back from baby shopping and i called my moma cryng and asked her to please call my ob dr or the hosp and tell them something had to be done. my dr also ordered valium and phenergan. it finally helped the pain but i didnt falll asleep until after 3 am. my ob dr came in to check on me around midnight/ he is so wonderful. he came back Easter Sunday morning, and brought me a Dogwood Tree flower bloom and told everyone in the room the story of the dogwood tree, jesus and Easter legend, it was touching. i was upset we didnt get to go to church as a family for Easter since i was in the hospital. My oldest son came late sat night after he got the msg that i was in the hosp and stayed with me for a while. i really dont remember a whole lot b/c of the Demerol, Pheneragan and Valium they were giving me. I had a PCA pump so i was pushing it every 6 minutes and the demerol made me talk out of my head and hallucinate when i would close my eyes... i was most funny-goofy . Finally they gave me Ativan to sleep. To come home dr ordered me Ambien to sleep and Ativan to take twice a day to relax my muscles and help my anxiety. tension and stress. seems like when i can relax, i dont hurt as much with the contractions, kidney stone pain or pressure and i can urinate better too. I slept very well last night with the Ativan. the pharmacy was already closed by the time i got discharged so i couldnt take the Ambien.

I go back to the perinatologist tomorrow and then to the urologist as soon as i am through at perinatology. . Hope everyone is great and had a Blessed Easter!

My wonderful OB Doc bringing a me Dogwood tree bloom. Then he told the whole hospital room of people the story of the Dogwood Tree-Jesus-Easter Story-very touching since I was in the hopsital on Easter.

Legend/Story of Dogwood Tree... The delicate four-point blossom represents Jesus' suffering on the cross. Four white petals form a cross shape and surround the crown of thorns in the middle, tinged red to symbolize the blood of Christ. At the petal tips are red points, symbolizing blood from the nails that held Jesus' hands and feet. Blossoming at Easter, the flowers remind the faithful of Jesus' death and resurrected life!

Then after perinatology appt, I had urologist appt. I got to hurting so bad while waiting in the waiting there that i started crying again from the pain. Then found out once i got back in the exam room that since i had to drop my insurance since i am off work on short term disability that hubby's ins is not in network. So the urolologist talked to us, and that was about it. I had to make an appt w/ the only urol out of 3 that my current urol recommended. I am seeing him Monday, he is an hr away from home.

My Ob Dr called me this afternoon to check on me, i told him the above and that i had been hurting really bad again. He said when he left the hospital he would take a Rx of the strong med by my pharmacy since it is sched II narcotic (Mepergan Fortis). He also said if my pain gets real bad again just to go straight to OB dept and they'd call him and they'd hook me up to the strong IV meds again.

I told him I didnt think I could physically or mentally take this pain for 10 more weeks. And this new urol officie that I am going to Monday has already told me that their urol is not going to be keen on going in behind the work of another doctor ( the stent that has already been placed in my kidney). So i dont know what will happen when i see him. I feel so helpless. Just taking one day at a time. Letting the baby get bigger and bigger everyday. OB dr told us Sunday that the turkey needed to cook a while longer in the oven, lol!

My in laws and sister in law are coming late Friday nite or Sat from S. Dakota and we have alot to do and not much time to get it done. And in the shape I am in, it makes in much harder. When i overdo it, I pay for it, in pain. I just pray we can get it all done and that i dont end up in severe pain in the process. MIL is most probably going to stay for awhile-maybe til after baby gets here.

4/1/07

Inlaws and SIL arrived safe after a 16 hr straight drive from South Dakota Friday morning. I had a pretty good weekend, less pain than usual, that was a blessing. Enjoyed visiting with them. MIL and SIL were a great help as was FIL, helped hubby put together crib and do handy man things that Dave couldnt do by himself. FIL and SIL left going home Sunday. MIL is here for a while, planning on staying til a week or two after baby arrives. She has been a tremendous help. I am absolutely loving her being here. She has done so much to help me. I enjoy the company during the day as well.

She went with me yesterday to my new urologist appt, which is over an hr away from home .Here is how it turned out...

Urol did a KUB x-ray on me. He found out that the stone is STILL there, just like i thought. and he saw the stent, told me that i have the largest one made inside me, (no wonder it hurts me so much and i have so much discomfort! )

Anyway, he started me on a new med, Enablex, a muscle relaxer thats supposed to relax my bladder and help stop the majority of the pain i am having, supposedly. he said if this med works, i wont have to come back to him until i deliver and then he will put me to sleep and remove stone and stent.

if the med doesnt relieve my pain, he wants me to come back in around 4 wks, when i am 36 wks along and he will go in and get the stone and stent then, when baby is further along, closer to term. He said he will have an OB dr in the OR with him as this procedure will likely start my labor process.
the bad thing is, this urologist does not go to any of the hospitals that my OB uses and my OB does not go to the hosp the urol works at, ( again this hospital is over an hr away from home.)


SO i still feel like i am between a rock and hard place, (pardon the pun, lol) bc i am not happy about another OB dr that i am not familiar with, or he with me, delivering my baby at a hospital over an hr away.

So i am gonna talk to my OB dr tomottow at my appt and see he what he thinks about inducing me at 36 wks, IF i still having this pain. and then once the baby is delivered, going to the urol for him to do his procedure to retrieve the stone and stent.

i am just praying that this medicine will relieve my pain. he reassured me after questioning him thoroughly that it will not hurt/affect the baby.

So far I have taken two of these new pills, they are once daily and as of yet, they have not helped with the pain. MIL caught me crying today in pain, i think i wigged her out. I told her it was an almost every day occurence for me to end up crying from being in so much pain. She was wanting me to call my parents to take me to my ob dr or the hosp as she dont know her way around town. I told her i had taken my mild pain med and the ativan hoping the two would help and that my ob's office is closed on tuesdays anyway. and if i want to the hospital they would admit me and give me IV pain meds. that is what my ob dr told me to do if i got the hurting bad again and the strong one didnt help the pain. but after an hr the pain got tolerable. i just now took the strong pain med. i am having trouble again urinating with severe pain and pressure like i have to and only a drop of urine will come out. I am just so literally drained from this pain. but at least its one day closer for our new baby to get here. counting down the days...thankful for my family and my husband's family!

4/4/08

went to my reg ob visit yesterday, ob wasnt too up on what this new urol had suggested-removing stone and stent at 36 wks. he said he would rather wait til 38 wks or full 40 wks since baby is a boy and his lungs may not be fully developed at 36 wks. he reassured me it is OKAY to take thepain meds the remainder of the pregnancy, and it will not hurt the baby.

I am having trouble sleeping. Went to sleep after taking all my pain meds and ativan and ambien, i was hurting bad. Fell asleep only to wake up around 2 am in severe pain and loopy headed/drunk feeling. My MIL had fallen asleep in family room. She awoke when i went in there. She and I had a long talk. She talked about her 4 labors and births, we had a good talk/listening session, nice bonding time. The whole entire time, she was rubbing and massaging my feet and legs with lotion for over an hour-until i got sleepy and my pain settled down and I fell asleep. She has truly been a blessing since she has been here. She has done so much around our house that i have not been able to physically do since ive had these kidney stones and stent the first part of February. Now all she and I have to do everyday is one load of laundry, prepare dinner, clean up afterwards. She will not hardly let me do anything...she tells me not to over do it, suggests i go rest or take a nap. she has been so helpful! I feel so relieved and so much less stressed out....

Soon we hope to get all the carpet shampooed, (2 big rooms) maybe tomorrow- if hubby is back from track meet in time and not completely worn out. Then all we (he) have to do is get baby Sam's walls primed to get ready to paint, hoping we (they) can get to that Sunday if time permits. Still undecided exactly what colors i wanna use.... Everything is coming right along nicely for little Sam's arrival! I am so thankful for my MIL's help and feel so very blessed to have such a wonderful husband and family.

4/17

had reg ob appt today, all went well. typed a long update earlier and computer froze up and it got deleted, ugh!
nothing new since last week, i didnt even gain any weight, thank goodness. so far i have gained 31 lbs.

ob dr did u/s of my rt kidney and said it was still a little swollen. i saw the stone and stent on the u/s. it is amazing just HOW close baby Sam's head is to that stent and stone. no wonder i hurt so much and have problems urinating when he presses on that area.

doc told me to continue all meds, incl the 2 oral antibiotics. got an order to have ferritin (iron) shot tomorrow at OB dept at hosptial. don't have to go back to see him for 2 wks since i have perinatology appt next week. nurse did in and out cath to make sure bladder and kidney infection is gone.
nothing really eventful happened.

but by the time i got back home i was hurting pretty bad, but i took a darvocet and ativan and feel ok now. just having BH contractions coming and going, they dont really hurt, just somewhat uncomfortable.

I would like to thank all my friends that i have met on here. many have been fervently praying for me, my health, the baby and my oldest son. i am so humbled and grateful to have met each of you through this site. my life will always be richer because of the bonds we have formed with each other. you have been wonderful blessings and i dont know what wouldve become of me if i couldnt have vented and complained or tried to help one of you when you were in need, it helps me forget my woes and problems for a while. even if it were just an ear to listen, i love to try to help people any way that i can. and i have found many amazing friends on here that do the same for me, thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
i hope and pray that we can always continue to correspond and keep in touch with each other and watch our babies grow up together, for many many yrs to come, hopefully til we are old ladies, lol.....

you gals have been a real blessing to me and i love each of you....

+

5/1/08

well i had my reg OB visit today. all went well. i was hurting a little when i got there. by the time i left, i was hurting much worse. he checked me vaginally and cervix is still closed, he felt the baby's head, and said i was -4. he is just beginning to drop into my pelvis.

little sam is not so little anymore, as of today he was 3200 grams, which in pounds is converts to 7.06 lbs! he took me off the mepergan fortis and put me on a pain patch, fentanyl. my mom went with me and was amazed at the ultrasound-it was her first time to ever see a ultrasound.

by the time we were headed back to her house, i was hurting really bad. we took the prescription to the pharmacy. we stopped and got a bite to eat. when i got back to her house, i put the patch on and layed down. she rubbed my back w/some warming lotion. after a while i finally fell asleep. when i woke up about an hr and a half later, i was not hurting! i was so surprised. i feel so much better. it has been about 6 hrs now since i put the pain patch on and i am cramping just a little bit. i am sure some of that is from the vag exam he did. i take the patch off after 72 hrs and put a new one on. i hope i dont have to hurt anymore like i have. hopefully the patch will continue working.

my OB is still not very fond of inducing me early. my mom asked about it. he said the only way he would is if i had an amnio to make sure his lungs are developed. i dont go back ro see him for for 2 wks. i am contemplating making an appt w/ perinatology to have amnio at 38 wks. idk, i cant decide. hubby is out of town for work til saturday, we can talk more about it then... if i can continue to have this little bit of pain i wouldnt mind going the full 40 wks. but now i am concerned at the rate Sam is growing, by my due date, he will be over 10 lbs, maybe even 11 lbs!

and now for some reason, my OB is going back to my original due date by my last period. which puts my due date back a week, with EDD of june 5th! he had changed it to may 29th several months ago when he did a measurement ultrasound. so i am not thrilled about that. : ( i am not sure why he changed it back to that. today by the measurements of Sam, he measured 38 wks 2 days... i suppose he is just going to be a BIG baby.

so by him changing that, it puts me at 35 wks 2 days, instead of what i thought and what he was going by previously- by those measurements of a while back i thought i would be 37 wks tomorrow. he did mention that he 'may' put me in around the 28th of may and induce, b/c my hubby is probably taking a new job at a school much closer to home and if he does, our current insurance will only go through may 31st. and i dont think the new insurance would pick me up when i will be within days of delivering. he starts the new job june 3rd... ARGH! i feel like screaming!!!!!!

so i am kinda bummed that my due date got moved back to the original one since its later ; (. but i am thrilled that this pain patch is working-making me feel so much better with so much less pain at the moment anyway...i just hope it keeps working as well as it is now. i still am having the pubic, tailbone and back pain though. that's i can think of for now..........

5/2/08

well just wanted to update a little. my pain is still virtually gone from the kidney stone and stent, this patch is working as far as helping the pain. BUT, i am still having pressure from where i can not empty my bladder due to mu kidney being blocked. AND, i have had severe itching all night long from the patch and have not slept a wink. not a minute of sleep, even.

dont know if the insomnia is from my body getting used to the patch, that is what i am hoping for. otherwise, i am not going to be able to keep the patch if i cant sleep at all. i hope the itching gets better-or hoping it goes away soon. i have had itching like this before with my first delivery from the demerol that i was given during labor. i even took 2 tylenol pm's to help me go to sleep and to help with the itching, bc i knew tylenol pm has benadryl in it, i thought they would help me to fall asleep and help the itching-but they didnt work for either. my lack of sleep may have had somethng to do with my hubby left yesterday and wont be back til sat (tomorrow) for his job....this is only the 2nd time since we've been married that we have been apart at night. thank goodness, my sweet mother in law is still here and kept me company.

i am still having the pain in my pubic and tail bones, its worse when i am up walking. i feel that is from the baby dropping. it hasnt gone away, this will be the 3rd day i have had this discomfort.

i still am upset that he moved my due date BACK to the original one. on the U/S yesterday baby was measuring 38 wks 2 days, but now since doc has gone back to my original due date based on my last period that would make me only 35 wks 2 days. so either this is going to be a BIG baby, i think he will be here before june. (i think i already mentioned this in my update from yesterday, sorry..) really the way i am feeling, all the pressure down below and the bones hurting, i dont think i will carry this baby another 4 wks. so i am going to TRY to not stress about it anymore and worry. I know God will allow him to be born when he is done growing inside me no matter what the dr or U/S says or predicts.

So after being awake ALL nite long, i have pretty much come to the conclusion that i am not going to have the amnio just to see if he has mature lungs so that dr will induce me. i dont want to put him at risk in anyway at all.

5/4/08

well i had to spend another weekend in the hosp. i had an allergic reaction to the fentanyl pain patch. ob called it a severe histamine reaction. i was admitted friday evening, i had not felt the baby move since early frd=iday morning and was worried. especially after i started breaking out in hives and had severe insomnia. i was itching everywhere and breaking out in whelts, on my face, in my ears, in side by nose, between fingers and toes, everywhere, it was awful. i finally took the patch off at 1030 am but still couldnt fall asleep. i got home last night. slept pretty much since that time. just so glad to be home. hubby came in from out of town trip and stayed w. me in hospital til i finally made him go home so he could rest. baby is ok, he was just zonked from the patch, made him sleep lize crazy, but it didnt me, it did the complete opposite to me. everything is ok now. just hapy to be back at home!

5/15/08

BABY WILL BE HERE BY NEXT THURSDAY MAY 22nd or FRIDAY the 23rd! I AM BEING INDUCED NEXT THURSDAY AT 5:30 AM!!!!

Unless he decides to come before then, i was 1 cm dilated today! Finally and end in sight!!!!! Thank you God and thank you all for praying for me!

5/22/2008