Aidan Maddox born March 15th, 2008 @ 1334

weight : 7 lbs 5 oz

length : 20.6 inches

amount i love him : more than all the grains of sand in the universe

march 11th (week 40 and 1 day overdue): so i went to week 40 today to check how the other ladies were doing and it seems like everyone of them is having a baby i think there must have been 8 or 9 girls posting to say their angel had arrived. they're sooo lucky. im so anxious for aidan to arrive i can hardly sleep at night. its like christmas ! only i dont know if christmas will be tomorrow but im so excited that it just might be that i cant sleep. i think im running on 3 hrs of sleep right now. my oh my!

march 10th (week 40 and due date): hows that for blowing it out of the water.i thought for sure i would have had this baby by now or hell at least somewhere around my due date because this pregnancy was 100% planned. i know exactly the day my last period started and when he was concieved so why baby do you insist of staying in there. is something wrong with me? am i lacking the hormone to start labor? idk. what i do know is i still hate my dr. today i went in and of course he was too busy to see me but no one told me that, i figured it out when the other lady walked in (clever aint i). oh and no one told me that i would have a pelvic exam this week (which is why i brought my husband) but the nurse told me to take my pants off (but i could leave my socks on, oh thank you nurse). so when this other lady walks in shes asked my why my pants were off. "cus im hot for you mama, stick those long, sharp, brutally painful fingers in my cervix baby." anyways im 3cm now *whoppy doo. not quite as excited as i was 3 weeks ago to find out i was 2cm. then this dr told me to start having sex and prop a pillow under my tush and let the seman sit there for 20 minutes and while im doing that tweak my nipples. first off i tried doing the nasty last night AND i ate two pineapples nothing happened. second off i do not have the patients to stimulate my very super sensitive nipples right now when i know that shit aint going to work.

march 9th (week 39): well i have one day left and i can honestly say that i am feeling about 99% sure this baby will not be born today nor tomorrow (or the rest of the following week days). i got my bet in for the 22nd or the 23rd. the 23rd being easter. when i think of all the days im going to STILL have to go to work, i just get really sad. uhg. i helped put on a 50th birthday party yesturday. yeah i got a look at some of the pictures on the digital camera, yuck, i look like the philbury dough boy. i deleted those pictures. i cant wait to start to get my body back, get my hair done, get a little color to my skin (after a gloomy winter in washington) buy some clothes that fit. i almost burst into tears trying to find something to wear that made me feel good and covered my huge belly. i settled for some gray sweatshirt. blah.

but all isnt bad. my stepmom finally got the hint and has stopped tormenting me by calling 12 billion times a day. although im still pissed at her but i figure i'll just use that pent up anger for when she wants to smother my baby and tell me how to do things for baby.

i finally finished shopping for the baby on saturday. i have been holding out on a diaper bag. but i found one at toys r us. and it is not to fem so my husband can use it with pride in his manhood. its a murky green and it has the fp rainforest tiger and monkey on it. totally goes with our theme. lets see, i also got my baskets to get the babies things a bit more organized. i also got him this super cute picture but the only place to hang it (left) is over the crib. which i feel ify about. but were going to do it cus i think im just being a worry wart. i got myself a button up night gown (to ease nursing) and two undershirts for nursing, a sling, and a nursing cover. so baby im all ready for you whenever you feel like coming out. sooner is better.

i keep getting more scared that something is wrong with him. like what if he's dead? why why why. but i dont really have any reason to freak out cus im not even due. and first time mothers are usually late. back in the 80's they let my mom go 3 weeks with my brother and 2 weeks with me. i guess i just figure since it was a planned pregnancy and i know the exact day my last period began that i would be more closer to my due date. haha we shall see.

march 6th (week 39): i could really go for some cake right now. on saturday im going to an over the hill party and im helping to throw it, the cake has black frosting. black frosting stains your mouth. pretty funny all the guest look like they have the mouth of zombies.

week 39: and i thought my dr. couldnt get worse. well he could and did today. here i was all excited that he was going to do a pelvic exam and then you would think that no one was aware of that. the nurse was like would you like the dr. to check? uh, yeah, he said that was the plan this week. shit. and that was after i was forgotten in the waiting room forever! and then to top it all off my dr. didnt even do the damn exam he had the mid wife fill in. which would have been okay if i hadnt been forgotten in the waiting room, if i wasnt the only one who remembered the damn pelvic exam...so then she did the pelvic exam and guess what no change im still only 2cm dilated. the mid wife said to make an appt. for next week but she doesnt think i'll make it that far. i sure hope not cus i HATE going to that damn dr's office. they dont even treat me like a person. just a dollar sign, shit not even that, they treat me like im that person who wont pay their bill. im tired of getting treated like a dirt bag. damn it i pay my bills, i go to work, i even have a bullshit college edumacation. duuuh huh? assholes. :(

week 38: went and saw my loser dr. what a waste of time. i spend more time in the the waiting room, and waiting in the dr's room than i spend with the actual dr. i think that i could have gone this entire time without ever seeing the dr. and i would have ended up exactly where i am right now. what a waste of money.

right now im 37 weeks pregnant with my first child. we are having a boy. his name is going to be aidan maddox. everyday i get more excited to meet him.