Wednesday April 16

So the appt was yesterday and went quite well, except for the part when the Dr did the internal u/s and said "you have multiple fibroids on your uterus". Ok so all in all that's not too bad, but then he mentioned that one of them seemed to be protruding into the uterine cavity and could prevent an egg from ever implanting. So i have to go in the next little while to the hospital for a hystersalingogram (hope i spelled that right!) which they insert a cath and inset dye to flush the tubes and get a better picture of the uterus. That will tell them whether or not i need surgery to remove this fibroid. Lovely!! while i'm all for anything that will increase our fertility i'm absolutely petrified of being put to sleep! i had all 4 wisdom teeth and a molar removed in the dental chair (with some lovely drugs to help) b/c i was to chicken to go to the hospital! oh well, hopefully it won't be so big that is has to come out....we'll see and i'll post more when i know!!

Baby dust to all!!

Tuesday April 22

So have the hystersalpingogram scheduled for this coming monday at 1pm at the hospital. not nervous about this one, except if it shows i have to have surgery...but at least it might get us closer to having a baby!!

My other news of the week is that i got a tattoo!! i decided that since my divorce from my son's father was finally final on sat, i would do something i always wanted to do....get a tattoo....i got the kanji symbol for birth, with my son's DOB below...maybe it'll bring us luck! i also wanted it b/c to me it symbolizes the birth of a new life, mine with my partner......

Baby dust to all!

Sunday April 27

So tomorrow is the test at the hospital! the HSG........hoping that it shows good news, rather than "surgery". at least it's one more hurdle! apparently after the test i am to come home and rest. we have Cub Scouts tomorrow night with Connor (my partner and i are both cub leaders) but i don't think i'll be doing the hike with the group - think i'll drive and meet them! i can go back to work on Tuesday though.

Baby dust!!

Monday April 28

Well the test today went well. although , what a comedy it was! They have you lie on this table in the imaging room, and the table is so high you have to use a stepping stool to get up there! then they move the machine around and the table back and forth until they have you situated correctly. Your behind is raised up by stacks of blankets, to offer them a better view i guess. The beginning part is kind of like a pap test, only the radiologist couldn't find my cervix. i'm laying going "ok i swear to god it is there!" they all laughed. Bruce was standing next to me, wearing a full lead apron, complete with neck protector and all i could think was "protect the boys, protect the boys!!" anyways after about 15 mintues of rooting around down there (seriously!) the dr finally found my cervix, but not before i have been hoisted butt first in the air, so high my feet were almost dangling! what a sight that must have been! So the catheter is inserted and the balloon inflated. This was the first discomfort i had really felt. Then the dye was injected and the pictures taken. So now it's over and the dr goes over the results. Everything was fine, no fibroids on the uterus (ok so what was the other dr seeing that made me have this test in the first place?). The only issue of concern is that my right tube appears to be blocked, so essentially cutting my chances of conceiving naturally in half.....as if they weren't already down with the other issues! anways the other tube looks fine, and we'll have to meet with our fertility dr again in 3 weeks to discuss the options, but looking more and more like IVF. All in all, at the end of the day the outcome was positive, as we'd been led to believe i may require surgery to rid me of any fibroids in the uterus. there are none, so that's a bonus,a nd the dr today said they rarely need to remove any blockages or fibroids in the tubes, b/c there isn't really a point. the surgery could possibly render the tube utterly hopeless. at least we got the results right then b/c i would've gone spare waiting a few weeks to get the results. And it brings us one step closer to our goal of having a baby, having this hurdle and possible waiting for a surgery date out of the way!! Next appt is May 24 to discuss this with our dr and to discuss Bruce's results.

Anyways off to bed, this test has left me quite exhausted and feeling like i've been kicked in the stomach repeatedly...i think me and my hot pack will be good friends for the rest of the night!

hope all is well with you all:)

Baby dust to all:)

THURSDAY MAY 22

We had a follow up appt today with our Dr. He recommends IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) to start with and In Vitro if that doesn't work. So i start taking Clomid in about 3 weeks time and then shortly after that they'll do the insemination. we're quite excited about this......we had expected it to be months down the road before anything was started and here we are getting ready to start within a month!!! He warned us about the side affects to taking Clomid (making me grumpy, headachy etc) to which i replied "and this would be different from any other day how??" hee hee!! he also warned us that there is a substantial increased risk to multiples because of this. They are hyperstimulating the ovaries to produce more eggs and then directly inserting the sperm into the uterus so they don't have to fight their own way there. But we're ok with that and will deal with whatever comes our way. i just pray to god this works. anyways just thought i'd share our news with you. Hope everyone is well:)

Baby dust to all!!

Sunday June 8

AF is here!!!!! i've never been so happy to see it in all my life b/c that means on day 3 i can start taking clomid and then somewhere around day 14 we will have the IUI done!! just waiting on clarification from our Dr as to the meaning of Day 3.....his meaning is day 3 of full flow but quite often my cycles are nothing more than spotting some months, and other months are super heavy. if i assume that the flow will increase and if it doesn't then i could miss day and have to wait another month. considering i was anxious for this cycle to come, i'd rather get it right this time! anyways there's a chance i'll have to start the clomid on my 36th bday which is this tuesday...maybe it'll bring us luck!!

hope all is well with everyone! baby dust to all!!

Saturday June 14

Clomid was started on wednesday preceeded by a wicked Sinus infection that started tuesday june 10th, my 36th bday! great timing! infection is finally starting to subside and so far the clomid has been a breeze! off to dr on wednesday for an u/s to check to see how many follicles have grown and if it's time for the trigger shot! have to get ready now for my bday bbq this eve;ridiculous amount of friends and family coming over! hope all is well with you all you ladies:) baby dust to all!

Tuesday June 17

Tomorrow is u/s day!!! hoping that the follicles are the right size for us to procced with the trigger shot to induce ovulation! will post more when i get home tomorrow!!

wednesday june 18

u/s was first thing this morning and there are 5 follicles....none of them are ready at this time so we have to go back on saturday for another u/s to measure them.....will update again after that one!!

Saturday June 21

Had u/s again yesterday and it showed the 2 follicles on the left were matured but the 3 on the right hadn't grown anymore. So i took the triggers (HCG) shot at home last night at midnight, which will induce ovulation. we go in tomorrow afternoon for IUI! wish us luck! Am sending Baby dust to everyone TTC'ing as well!!

Monday June 23

IUI went fine today, was fairly easy and painless. now we're in the 2ww. i have to go to the lab in two weeks for the test, regardless of how i feel. keep your fingers crossed for us ladies!!! we'll be baby dancing for the next two nights for extra insurance!! baby dust to all!!!

Monday July 7

BFP!!!!!!!!BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG i can't believe it, but the blood test confirmed it this morning. i did a pee test on sat and there a very faint line but even with that i didn't want to get my hopes up. So i called the clinic this afternoon from work and they told me. i have to go for an u/s at the end of the month to see how things are progressing and to check for multiples as we did IUI (so did Jon and Kate from Jon & Kate Plus 8 but at least we know there were only two eggs)....Bruce is beside himself. We haven't told Connor yet as he's with his dad this week but he'll be here friday. lucky kid.....a new baby brother from his dad in october and this little one in march!! hope all is well with everyone:) Baby dust to all!!!

Sunday July 20

Not much new to report. I was not feeling very well yesterday but am feeling better today. i thought morning sickness was kicking in, but maybe it was just a bug. Thank god b/c i'm starting training for my promotion tomorrow and the last thing i'd want to do is to call in sick!! already some of my clothes are becoming a little tight but i imagine that's from water retention. One week and two days until we have our first ultrasound!! hope all is well with everyone and please keep my friend Allyson in your thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday July 29
not good news on our end....our u/s at the dr's office showed absolutely nothing......dr is not sure whether or not it was a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage but can't understand why i haven't had any symptoms of a miscarriage or my period.....so went for blood test this afternoon and will go again on fri morning to check hcg levels....dr did look for ectopic pregnancy but did not see one. so i guess we'll wait and see. dr thought it was strange that i also had a positive home pg test last week ( i took one just for fun b/c all we'd had was the lab test) but there you have it......he said it was very unusual to not see anything at 7 weeks.

Thursday July 31

am starting to feel a little better now after not feeling so hot the last couple of days, mostly from the shock of the dr's visit. i started spotting today which is probably a sign of my period coming which i guess is a good thing b/c we can try again. although i didn't expect it would come so soon. however if this pregnancy terminated itself almost at the beginning as the dr seems to think it did, i guess a period about now could be normal. anyways i have one more blood test tomorrow so we'll see how far down the levels are...it was at 953 on tuesday. i think we have to wait for them to hit zero before trying again?? not too sure. we're off to the sunshine coast to visit friends this weekend; in our two + years together we've been off the island once together and that was for a cub scout related trip so this will be our first "alone" trip! we had debated about cancelling the trip but have put off the departure by one day instead. unless our dr has other plans for us, in which case we'll have to cancel. will update after the test results...hope everyone is well...

Monday Aug 4

so the plot thickens!! our dr called on sat with my test results from blood test fri. he said the levels are still going up, but not at a normal rate. he says that this pregnancy still could be successful but he doesn't think it will be. i had let him know the day before that i was spotting and pretty sure my period was starting or a miscarriage or whatever. since then it's only been really spotting, nothing heavy, and quite mucousy (tmi i know) at times...any ideas as to what this is? our dr was quite concerned about an ectopic but i haven't had any pain at all, and not even cramping. so off for another blood test tomorrow morning and then phone call to dr in afternoon. this sure has been one emotional roller coaster ride. we did have a nice weekend away up on the coast of bc with friends, nice and relaxing. will update tomorrow night. hope all is well.

Tuesday Aug 5

so today was a little heavier bleeding that continued until about 2pm when i decided i needed to go to the bathroom. everything looked the same until i was about ready to head back to my desk, had pants done up and everything and i felt something come out. so i checked and wiped with tissue and there was this small mass....it appeared to be blood clots and a hard mucousy substance, which the way it was shaped i swear looked like a little amniotic sac. so of course i'm in the bathroom at work thinking, holy crap i've just had a miscarriage and this is the remains of my baby, which of course is not a happy thought. so then i called my dr's office a half hour later on my break to let them know and find out the results of my morning's blood test. they didn't seem to freak out at my news and i inquired as to whether this could just be the formation of the mucous plug. of course, the receptionist/nurse couldnt' answer that but passed it along. they called back at 5 saying to keep an eye on the bleeding and that the results had come back and the levels were still going up! so i have to go in yet again tomorrow morning for more blood tests b/c the dr wants to get those results before proceeding. a friend at work who knew what treatment we'd had, and how we were at higher risk for twins, wondered if i had maybe miscarried a twin and maybe there was still a viable pregnancy left? so who knows? i had absolutely no pain and the bleeding has all but subsided, almost as soon as whatever that was passed. so now we wait for tomorrow. i'm understanding that he may want me in later in the week for another u/s. so i'll keep my fingers crossed for a little longer:) send me baby dust girls, I need it:) hope everyone is fine!

Wednesday Aug 6

shockingly enough my levels were...wait for it....going up!! surprise! sorry, i'm getting a little frustrated.....i'm glad the levels are continuing to rise (albeit not at a normal rate) but i would like to know what is going on, and what our next step is. but all i got today from my phone call was that the rates are still rising and to go back for a 5th blood test on friday...good lord....i swear it looks like i have track marks! i keep praying that there is still a little someone in there...the bleeding from yesterday and the past few days has almost stopped completely so that's a good thing, and i know lots of women spot/bleed during pregnancy.....but i just want some definition to all this:) anyways must think positively! hope all is well:)

Friday Aug 8

so the levels have finally started to go down....not that i'm happy about that but at least it gives us a difinitive answer...they never got very high....i was 8 weeks 4 days yesterday and on wednesday they were around 1600, so not high at all...today they are in the 1300's. i also passed more tissue like stuff today. not as much as wednesday but it was somewhat painful, to the point i had to ask a friend for some tylenol, and that at least took the edge off. dr appt tues next week for u/s and discussion about how to proceed. hope all is well with everyone!

Wednesday Aug 13

Dr appt went well. he did an internal u/s and still did not see evidence of any ectopic pregnancy so that's a huge relief. we're are going to do the IUI again, most likely sept. i have to be on birth control for 10 days so that when i stop it, it should create a bleed that will clear me out of anything that might be left behind. im taking antibiotics now too to prevent any infection. then a follow up in 21 days to double check everything, then wait one cycle and start the clomid again.....it can't start soon enough for me! in between all this i'm also having a sonohysterogram......the same as the dye test but with water instead of the dye. it will give even a better picture as to whether there is a fibroid interfereing here! hope everyone is well!

Tues Sept 2

Appt with dr today - he did another scan, and noted that pretty much everything has been "cleaned out" - he put me on birth control pills about 15 days ago for 10 days to create a bigger bleed that would clean it all out, seems to have worked. so now i'm on the pill again for a few weeks as i have to have a sonohysterogram and they couldn't squeeze me in next week (before day 12) - with the pill they can do it at anytime. then i'll stop taking it, and as long as the results from the sono are good, then we'll begin clomid again on day 5 of my next cycle. it's exciting, although a little scary as i'm now paranoid about miscarrying again. i'll have to get past that before we do the iui again so i don't have any bad vibes! anyways just wanted to update. hope everyone is well, sticky baby dust to all of us who are ttc'ing!

all future updates will be in the form of blogs!