Where do I start? Man I feel as if I want to pour out all my issues of life on here, but I am sure if anyone does read this, they will only be interested in info about the baby. I'll sum it all up. (without getting emotional..haha) Here goes nothing: I'm having a baby! haha This will be my second pregnancy, the first one was during my short marriage of a year and a half, i miscarried at 8 weeks... I know that everything happens for a reason... God decides to take some of His children sooner than we can see them... not fair, but His ways are far above ours, and He has reasons. I didn't understand them at the time, but now looking back it would have made my life so much more difficult had I had a child. My ex husband and I are in the process of a divorce, he was abusive. I joke sometimes that I feel my life is a little "Jerry Springer" but I always try to find the light in the darkness, I think we have to do that... find the positive in a negative situation.. I am pregnant now for the second time, the guy i was dating for just a short time wanted me to have an abortion. Now I do not agree with abortion, nor would I ever make the decision to follow through with one. But I will never judge anyone for the choices they made in the past. I believe God is our judge, we only ever have to answer to Him, He also is the forgiver of our hearts. Ok so moving on, of course I said no way to the abortion, so he said no way to my child. I know in my heart we will be better off without him. The single mom thing kind of scares me, but God is my strength and the solid rock on which i stand through this whole thing. I have an amazing support system, I have a tons of family and friends that are behind me willing to help. So I suppose thats it, now I am just waiting for my first trimester to be over, 3 more weeks! wohoo! So far no morning sickness, and no issues.. I have had tummy growth already, and my boobs have grown three sizes and hurt like heck...hopefully the 2nd trimester will bring more energy, and less pain in the chest area like they say.. we'll see! Happy Baby Making everyone! :)

Blessings!

MY BABY AT 9 WEEKS CAN YOU SEE THE HEART ACCTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THE SHAPE OF A VALENTINES DAY HEART? CRAZY HUH? P.S. IM GUESSING ITS A BOY? WE SHALL SEE IF MY PREDICTION IS CORRECT IN 10 MORE WEEKS! :)

MY BABY BOY AT 13 WKS!!

So I know all you ladies are skilled in the art of ultrasounds so i don't need to explain much.. but the first picture shows his little man package between the two legs, the second picture shows his head and body profile, third picture was another plumbing shot ( he wasn't shy about showing off his goods) haha. and the last shot is him waving to his mama...:)

Pregnancy Survey
About You
Name?:	Courtney
Age?:	25
Height?:	5'6"
Pre-pregnancy weight?:	148
About The Father
Name?:	Matt
Age?:	25
Height?:	6 foot ish?
Are you still together?:	we never were together, but we plan on being super great friends for our son.
About Your Pregnancy
Is this your first pregnancy?:	Second
When did you find out you were pregnant?:	August 24th, I knew.. my boobs were really sore, and i felt super bloated.
Was it planned?:	No way jose... it was a huge shock.
What was your first reaction?:	I think i cussed(forgive me God) ;) and then cried... I am excited now though.
Who was with you when you found out?:	my good friend Kristen
Who was the first person you told?:	Kristen
How did your parents react?:	My parents were shocked but excited.
How far along are you?:	18wks!
What was your first symptom?:	Peeing a lot, sore boobs
What is your due date?:	May Day! May 01,08
Do you know the sex of the baby?:	Yeppers
If so, what is it?:	It can pee standing up! It's a boy
Have you picked out names?:	yes yes i have
If so, what are they?:	Brodin Ryan
How much weight have you gained?:	13 lbs!! Holy Moses! But i can still fit into my pre-preggo pants just with a tummy sleeve..
Do you have stretch marks?:	whats it to ya? lol none from the baby yet. (knocks on wood, crosses toes)
Have you felt the baby move?:	I think so, the baby was kicking on the ultrasound, and it was kicking so hard the doctor asked if i could feel it, but i didnt at that time, i have felt flutters twice, and they say thats what it feels like, but since this is my first pregnancy i don't know what it feels like.. I will know if i did feel it later on when they get stronger :) (PS felt the baby kick yesterday!10/25/07)
Have you heard the heartbeat?:	Yes it was amazing!
About the birth
Will you keep the baby?:	Duh! I hate that that is even a question
Home or hospital birth?:	Hospital
Natural or medicated birth?:	Medicated for sure
Who will be in the delivery room with you?:	Matt, My Mom, sister, sister in law, cousin, maybe a few friends.. thats not counting the 400 gazillion people in my family that will be waiting in the waiting room...
Will you breastfeed?:	yeah, for sure!
Do you think you'll need a c-section?:	I kind of like the idea of going in, knocking me out, and waking up with a baby..lol j/k
Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?:	I'm sure I will! I cry when other people hold their baby's for the first time on a baby story.. so im assuming i will lol
What's the first thing you might say to him/her?:	I have no idea.... ill let you know after :)
Would you let someone videotape the birth:	yes, the whole thing is going to be professionally photographed, except no crotch shots.
Are you excited about the birth, or scared?:	Both but mostly excited.

Fun Birthday Facts

Your baby's birthstone will be Emerald (Love, Success) Your baby's Astrological Sign will be Taurus Your baby's Flower is Lily_of_the_Valley or Hawthorn (Yellow, Red and Green) Your baby will be born in the Chinese Year of The Rat This time next year your baby will be 25 Weeks Old! Your baby will start kindergarten in 2013, be old enough to drive a car in 2024, finish high school in 2026, and will graduate from college with the class of 2030, give or take a year. Can you imagine? Always Loved By Me Six pounds and nine ounces lookin' up at me Like I have all the answers I hope I have the ones you need I've never really done this, now I know what scared is Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong Other times I'll let you just find out on your own But that's when you'll be growin' And the whole time I'll be knowin You're gonna fly with every dream you chase You're gonna cry but know that that's okay Sometimes life's not fair but if you hang in there You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good We just have to believe things work out like they should Life has no guarantees but always loved by me You're gonna be I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes Lord knows I'll be trying to give you what it takes What it takes to know the difference Between getting by and livin' ‘Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make So make sure you're always givin' Way more than you're takin' Someone's everything, you're gonna see Just what you are to me You're gonna fly with every dream you chase We just have to believe things work out like they should Life has no guarantees but always loved by me You're gonna be Always loved by me (Reba McEntire) Miracle, You're my life's one Miracle, Everything I've done that's good And you break my heart with tenderness, And I confess it's true I never knew a love like this till you.... You're the reason I was born Now I finally know for sure And I'm overwhelmed with happiness So blessed to hold you close The one that I love most With all the future has so much for you in store Who could ever love you more? The nearest thing to heaven, You're my angel from above Only God creates such perfect looooove When you smile at me, I cry And to save your life I'll die With a romance that is pure heart, You are my dearest part Whatever it requires, I live for your desires Forget my own, needs will come before Who could ever love you more? Well there is nothing you could ever do, To make me stop, loving you And every breath I take, Is always for your sake You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure Who could ever love you more? 10/23/07 I have my 2nd Appt on Thursday ill be exactly 13wks, I am hoping to hear the heartbeat, as well as see the sex of the baby on the ultrasound... I am thankful that my doctor does an ultrasound at every appt.. So we will see what happens on Thursday my appt is at 1:45 so I have to wait all day! lol.. I guess i'll survive... I have had some crazy insomnia staying up til 2am or later, and then wanting to sleep all day... i tried to get my body back on schedule by waking up early, and not taking a nap, and trying to go to bed early.. but i cant ever do it.. my body clock is all off.. i have zero energy, i pee 5 times per night... I thankfully have not experienced any morning sickness, but i think that i have been paid back by having too pee so often... 9 times in one night was my record! nine times! what the snot is that about??!? lol... im a peeing machine! i dont drink water before bed either... and its not like a little trickle.. its like someone busted a hole in the hoover dam! haha.. ok ill stop i think you get the picture..:) So theres my update, ill keep you all posted as soon as i get home from my appt, whether or not i find out if my little one can pee standing up or sitting down! lol.. blessings to you all!

11/03/07

14WKS 2 DYS

Well I found out at 13wks that It's a Boy!! if you can't already tell from the pics.. lol.. He for sure has a little man package.. I am excited..:) I have been feeling him kick here and there, he's super active.. once or twice a day, mostly late at night.. it makes me stop breathing just so i can feel it.. i love it.. Moving back in with my parents has been a tough adjustment, since I have been on my own since i was 18...but I count myself very blessed to have such a supportive family.. that's what family is all about.. being there no matter what... If I grow up to be half as good a parent as mine are, my Son will be a lucky duck..

I feel like I need to share this for whatever reason, but at the beginning of my pregnancy I started getting super emotional.. I started feeling like I had really let God down by getting pregnant... "God i really messed up this time.. " I was driving to work and this still small voice spoke in my mind.. "Do You Love Me?" My answer was "duh" oh I mean "Yes God." After I read this.. I wasn't sure my life had reflected my love for God

"Do You Love Me?"

One morning I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise.
Ah, the beauty of God's creation is beyond description.
As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work.
As I sat there, the Lord brought His presence on me.
He asked me, "Do you love Me?"
I answered, "Of course God! You are my Lord and my Savior!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love Me?"
I was perplexed.
I looked down upon my arms, legs, and the rest of my body and wondered how
many things I wouldn't be able to do. The things that I took granted for.
And I answered, "It would be tough, Lord, but I would still love You."

Then the Lord said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"
How could I love something without being able to see it?
Then I thought of all the blind people in the world
And how many of them still loved God and His creation.
So I answered, "It's hard to think of it, but I would still love You."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to My Word?"
How could I listen to anything being deaf?
Then I understood.
Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts.
I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your Word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"
How could I praise without a voice?
Then it occurred to me,
God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul.
It never matters what we sound like.
And praising God is not always with song.
But even when we are persecuted,
We give God praise with words of thanks.
So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"
With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly,
"Yes Lord! I love You because You are the one and true God!"

I thought that I had answered well, but God asked, "They why do you sin?"
I answered, "Because I am only human. I am not perfect."

"Then why in times of peace, do you stray the furthest?
Why only in times of trouble do you pray the hardest?

No answer. Only tears.

The Lord continued.
"Why only sing at fellowships and retreats?
Why seek Me only in times of worship?
Why ask things so selfishly?
Why ask things so unfaithfully?"

The tears continued to roll down my cheek.

"Why are you ashamed of Me?
Why are you not spreading the Good News?
Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to
cry on?
Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"
I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.

"You are blessed with life.
I made you not to throw this gift away.
I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away.
I have stretched My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge.
I have spoken to you, but your ears were closed.
I have shown my blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away.
I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away.
I have heard your prayers, and I have answered them all."

"Do you really love Me?"

I could not answer. How could I?
I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse.
What could I say to this?
When my heart had cried out, and the tears had flowed,
I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."

The Lord answered, "That is My grace My child."

I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me?
Why do You love me so?"

The Lord answered,
"Because you are my creation. You are My child.
I will never abandon you.
When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you.
When you scream in joy, I will laugh with you.
When you are down, I will encourage you.
When you fall, I will raise you up.
When you are tired, I will carry you.
I will be with you 'til the end of the days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before.
How could I have been so cold?
How could I have hurt God as I had done?
I asked God, "How much do You love me?"

And the Lord stretched out His arms,
And they were nailed on the cross.
I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Savior.
And for the first time, I really prayed.

Satan tried to tell me that I had ruined my calling, that I had ruined the plans God had for me, that I was no good anymore, but God said,"Court I still love you, I forgive you, I know the plans I have for you, and those plans are to give you a future and hope." So if you feel like you have screwed up.. we've all been there.. but don't give up.. thats what the enemy wants, he comes to kill, steal, and destroy.. Jesus came to bring life, and life more abundantly.. Well It felt good to write down my emotions.. I hope it ministers to another person..

Love and Blessings. Court

"Just as you'll never understand
the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman,
So you'll never understand
the mystery at work in all that God does." Ecclesiastes 11:5

Alright Ladies... I was relunctant to post the uncovered belly shot.. but there it is... in all its hugemongus glory! And Yes I am only having one baby.. and its a BOY. :) (A REALLY BIG BOY)

11/21/07

Went for my monthly check up and got new ultrasound pics... in the group of 4 top left is his little foot, in the bottom left its him getting ready to suck his thumb, and the two far right pics have arrows pointing to his man package. ;)

this next one is his profile head in lower right of sac and shows his little heart in the abdomen that was beating fast.. got to hear it finally! She said the BPM werent accurate because when you poke on him, it gets higher cause he tries to move away from it..

So there it is, everything looks great the doc said, and ill go in again for my 21 wk appt December 20th and get new pictures for Christmas! Yay.. at that time ill be half way done!!

12/01/07

My little man has a name..... Brodin Ryan .. Pronounced how its spelled (Bro-din) I am super excited! And I can't wait to meet him.. Almost half way there! 19 more days til I get more pics of him!

12/14/07

Today is a special day... 13 years ago today one of the most important people in my life, went home to be with the Lord.. the one who taught me to tie my shoes, the one who always caught me stealing out of the cookie jar, but pretended not to catch me, the one who spoiled me rotten, the one who embarrassed me beyond belief when she took me to buy my first bra, when she asked "Hey Honey, what size training bra do you need?!" Across the department store, The one who had a go-go gadget arm that could smack you wherever you were, even while she was driving and you were in the opposite corner of the backseat, the one who's hugs could fix anything, whose words were full of wisdom and concern, the one who started the "portagee eye", and when you saw that eye, you knew it meant trouble...and that it meant that a wooden spoon might be soon to follow...she was the one that i looked forward spending time with, the one who'd always let me stay up past my bedtime to play rummy or watch the late show, she was such a special lady I feel blessed to have been apart of her life for the 12 years i was able to be..she was the true essence of beauty, inside and out. She was my best friend, the lifter up of my soul, and my Grandma. Her name was Eva, its very fitting that her name meant "the giver of life" she gave hers unselfishly to her four children and 10 grandchildren, and now she has almost 6 great grandchildren.. I wish my son would have been able to meet her.. one day we will all be together. :) See you up there Grandma. I miss you and love you.

12/18/07

Ok so another update... about two weeks late.. lol

The baby's father Matt called me, (whom wasn't going to be involved in my son's life, by his choosing.. his excuse was that he wasn't ready, and that he had to move away for this job.. ) But he called me a couple weeks ago and told me that he wasn't going to move away...and that he was sorry for putting me through all the stress.. he told his uncle/future boss that he was having a son, and his responsibility was here.

Side note since i found out he wasnt going to be apart of the Brody's life i prayed that God's will would be done.. whatever that may be.. but if he was meant to be in Brody's life, I prayed that God would be an annoying monkey on his back, not leaving him alone, and i prayed that matt's heart would be softened...

so i asked him what made him change his mind... and he said that he realized he was just really scared, and that he felt guilty and couldnt walk away... i told him that i named our son.. Brodin Ryan... Brody for short... he said he liked that... but asked me what made me name his middle name Ryan? I told him it just sounded cute... and he said "thats my middle name" Weird? Coincedence? I think not.. God is more like it.. he said he hadn't been able to stop thinking about everything... i told him it was God, and he said that He hadn't left him alone...:) God works in crazy ways.. we aren't going to be together... I won't settle for someone who doesn't believe in and love God completely.. i can't.. but we have both agreed that we are going to be completely honest, and open with eachother about dating, and that we would never bring anyone around brody until we were serious enough to marry that person.. we both agreed that we wanted to be as close as a family as we could get without being together.. for our son... I am excited.. God is good.. and I just hope and pray everything works out..:) thats all for now.. ill post more pics of brody on thursday..:) Blessings..

12/19/07

So I went to the Genetic Counselor today, and everything went fine.. I was reffered to him by my doctor, because of my little sister's genetic condition.. But the counselor basically said not to worry about it, that I would have symptoms at least one if i was a carrier of her TS.. so no worries..:)

I also got the results of my AFP test which test for down syndrome, and spine abifida all came back negative. Yay God. So i got my "big ultrasound" done where they look at every piece of Brody... everything looked fine, but he had his arms tucked up over his chest and his chin down touching his chest, so they couldnt see the heart at all.. the tech said he was so active he tucked and did summersaults the whole time! so i get to go back in two weeks for another ultrasound... wohoo! :)

But he weighs one pound now, and his heart beat was 133BPM which is great. And my due date changed... It's 3 days earlier, so im due April 29th... 3 days closer to my birthday. lol (which is April 26th) Hopefully he'll be a may baby.. but who knows.. :)

Tomorrow i go for my regular monthly check up and his dad Matt is coming to see his son "live" for the first time.. pretty cool. It's a great show..:)

I will post more pictures tomorrow, but for now, go have a looksie.. at the newest one in my "Ultrasounds" folder in pics... He was all curled up sleeping at the end.
Love Court & Brody

03/23/08

I figured easter morning was as good of a time as any to give an update on things since I haven't in a really long time, and if i procrastinate any longer my son will probably be here.. lol.. Everything has gone so well during this pregnancy.. It's amazing what stress will do during a pregnancy...( my first pregnancy I was married to an abusive man, and im sure that is the reason i lost my first one at just eight and a half weeks) I know that i will see him again one day, completely perfected sitting with Jesus.. Can't wait baby.. until then I'll focus on the second miracle God has given me.. my son Brodin Ryan.. I haven't had morning sickness, or heart burn, or anything really.. Ive just felt big, tired, and achy.. but hey if all that is to produce and create the miracle that God will soon bless my life with, then bring it on. :) Matt ( My sons father) Is completely excited for Brodin to be born... He has already picked out his camo gear and his uncle is already saving to buy my son his first shotgun...lol... he already wants to pick out golf clubs too... Can't change the fact that his daddy is a hunter and a golfer.. :) We are both happily dating other people, and excited to be having a little mini us come into the world.. we are great friends and everyone has commented on what a great situation we are raising him in even though Matt and I aren't together..

On the other end of things, I started dating one of my good friends... (BJ) We have been friends for 7 years, and throughout those 7 years I have been able to see his character and see his relationship with God progress into something amazing.. He is an amazing man of God, with the same calling from God as me... He is called to be a missionary on the mission field, as am I... the neat thing is that we both heard from God on this issue before we started dating or were ever interested in eachother. He has been to 12 different countries, and I have been to 9... going around the world showing the Love of God is what we want to do.. helping orphans, and well just helping people that cannot help themselves, and showing the love of God through practical ways.. not just saying, "hey Jesus loves you." We are taking our relationship very slow, and BJ is very understanding that my first priority is being a parent... He is excited to get to know Brodin once he is here too.. So at any rate.. thats my update! Love and Blessings!