About Me..

Hi, all. I am newly married and newly pregnant. I reside the Atlanta Metro. I am really excited about our new baby.

September 22, 2008-Wishful thining...

Oh, well....my VISITOR did arrive Thursday. Always like a clock, I am...I am not disapointed. Glad to know one way or the other on the matter. Being pregnant will come in its own time I suppose. Cheers!

September 14, 2008-Just maybe...

Yesterday, I had the expectation of seeing my cycle. IT DID NOT COME. I am calm. I will wait a couple of days to see if it's simply late.

May 31, 2008-Nature Took Its Course:

Not long after I got home from the hospital on Friday and began to absorb the news, my husband called back about 3:45 am in the morning. I explained to him what was happening and that the doctors had no idea as to when it was going to happen, but just that my body was preparing for such. After making sure that I was okay and me knowing he was okay...he assured me that we would try lots and lots more times until it happens. And even though I was sad, men have a devilish sense about them to make you smile. We both accepted the fact that it wasn't to be and that when the time comes it would happen. So, hopefully, I expect to be pregnant again by the Fall at the latest.

After we spoke immediately nature took its course. It was like I was being reserved until I spoke to my husband. The labor pains started coming soon and often. I was hoping to see if I could pass without having to go back to the hospital, but I could no longer stand the pain or even stand. I was very hot, faint feeling dehydrated and crying. The ambulance arrived after 9 am. I was rushed to the hospital again and they provided immediate pain relief until my body emptied the womb.

Sadly enough, the hospital experience was more awful than the miscarriage itself. When I was placed in a room the nurse yelled, "Sit Up!" as I was laying there helpless, bloody and in pain, so that she could assist me in removing my clothing. Then when the PA came in the room to check me, I asked the nurse for my purse to get some information and she plopped it near the hand where the IV was...not concerned if she had broken the needle in my hand or not. When I screamed she moved it, but sat it on top of my glasses. The doctor looked at her in disbelief and said, "her glasses." This woman (the nurse) was simply nasty beyond compare. Then as I lay in the bed and the IV flowing through me my bladder was full beyond compare with no relief. Later, some gentleman (perhaps the staff doctor) came to feel my womb and noted how full my bladder was and left the room, but no one came to relieve me. I could go on and on, but I think you guys get the gist of the experience....it was simply awful.

One good note...the ultrasound tech was really nice and concerned. She did relieve me on my full bladder while I was with her. She was wonderful and very supportive.

I guess I wrote all this to say that I am really afraid of our health care system and hope that you ladies never have to experience anything like what I went through on Saturday in any situation.

May 30, 2008-Emergency Room Visit:

I decided to check myself into the emergency room when the bleeding began to look fresh again. After about 6 hours in the hospital undergoing a lot of testing and ultrasounds I found out tonight that I would not be having a child after all. I have what they call a blighted ovum and that my body is about to began the miscarrying process.

For all the support that I have received throughout this site, I turn here again. You girls have been a very good support system for me. I only hope that when my husband is here in July that we are very fortunate to start the process once again. Needless to say, that I am worked up beyond compare and very frantic. I have tried Europe more times than none to wake my husband, but he does not answer.

I will rest as I am extremely torn on the inside and oddly enough it seems that the process has begin expedite itself. And while I have never vomited during this pregnancy I am very, very sick tonight. Not sure when it will be over, but I only hope I don't pain too much as nature take its course.

My three month journey has been wonderful and I would not trade this for anything and do hope to join you ladies in the very near future to partake in this wonderful experience of life.

Love,

Debora

May 19, 2008-First Prenatal Visit:

I like my midwife...real concerned with gaging eyes...it was in her hands...the act of delivering babies...I can't explain it...but a lot of wisdom and experience was behind those glasses. She read every detail in my file...even asking what my degree was in and asking about my husband and I...our love for one another...etc...she said she use to do a lot of bedside chats, but when the baby demand became so heavy, she wasn't able to as much...she smiled a lot...asked a lot of questions...I must have spent over an hour with her.

I have been poked, upon poked and prodded...refreshing...to say the least...pun intended.

Did the usual...blood work, pap, paperwork, questions upon questions and then a serious talk with the midwife.

They don't waste anytime reminding you of your advanced maternal age, do they? It's like a curse or something to rear children older.

Anyway, I refused all tests except the routine ultra sounds despite the statistics she shared with me and how the other genetic testing services are supposed to inform me of what's what. I will keep and love my child no matter what.

Also, my size is fine for the date. She said I am right on point, so....the child is not larger like I suspected. I have gained about 4 more pounds....give or take. I guess I will just be fat this go round, so, it's not " baby fat" just a "big momma"...smiles...

After I told her about the movements, she was going to do an ultrasound, but when the sizing was in line with the dates, she said it wasn't necessary...bummer...I wanted to see my little love!

Anyway, go back in about 5 weeks or so.

She used three different dopplers and could not find a heartbeat...which she said was perfectly normal for the age of the child.

So, she recommended me to a baby class which starts June 13th...so I guess I will start touring hospitals and planning the nursery.

All looked fine....

Smiles,

Debora :-)