5/13/08 - Life is good! Just can't wait for this baby to be here already. I want to know if it's a boy or a girl, and if they look like Mommy or Daddy, and I just want to hold them!!! I have been so lucky...such a wonderful pregnancy. Only complaints now are that I pee all the time and get heartburn quite a bit....and neither are too bad at all! And I'm still emotionally crazy very frequently....I sure worry way more than I used to. It will be nice when I can have a few cold beers to help relax again. I love feeling my baby move around in me. He or she is so lumpy and big-feeling now! Big bumps stick out under my ribs one minute and out of my side the next...so amazing.

Still have two showers coming up...one this weekend. I am very grateful as we still need a lot of things for this little booger, and unfortunately we are broke! I'm so grateful to have so many wonderful family members and friends who love and support us. Time to start getting the baby's room ready! Grandma will be here this weekend, and I want to have the room somewhat together by then. I haven't been in too big of a hurry because i just have a feeling that this little guy or gal will be coming late. Maybe 4th of July? That's kind of what I'm hoping. So still plenty of time I hope to get everything done. Also I just got done with school and finals last week so I was so stressed out with that. Finally now I am just at work full time instead of juggling both school and work so things will slow down and I can focus on getting everything ready. Also getting psyched about going to the Indy 500 next weekend!! One of my all-time favorite things to do, and I'll be damned if I give it up just because I'm fat and sassy! I still plan to go and have a blast. Can't wait for so many exciting things that are coming up...only about 6 more weeks baby! I love you and can't wait to meet you! We are thinking a girl will be:

or if it's a boy (which is my instinct):

4/9/08 - 29 weeks - Everything is still going really well! No gestational diabetes, iron levels good. No complaints!! (Other than I am still a bipolar emotional psychopath.) I am so happy about the baby, but I am so sensitive and my mood and feelings are completely up and down, it is ridiculous!!! But there is lots of squirming going on now! I can't wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl wiggling around in there. I had my first shower Sunday, it was so nice. I can't wait for this baby to be a part of our wonderful family! We still don't have baby's room ready, but we're working on it. Not too worried yet...still feels like we have plenty of time. We take a childbirth class in 2 weeks which should be helpful. Just counting down the weeks now!! I'm still not very big or uncomfortable...I am lucky I think! Thank you baby!! :)

3/25/08 - 27 weeks now! Only 90 days to go! WOW! Now the baby is moving a lot and I am finally feeling definite pokes and prods...I love feeling him or her in there moving around, playing, and getting comfy. I am still not very big! I don't know how a 2 lb. 13 inch baby fits in there! I don't know when it's going to happen, but I'm sure at some point soon I'll be getting huge all of a sudden and will be missing this stage of the smaller belly. I went to the doctor last week and everything was fine...baby is "not too big and not too small." I have the test for gestational diabetes next week. Also found out I am Rh negative so I have to get the injection next week...no biggie. Also my first shower is next weekend, and I can't wait! Now I just need to get my pale ass to the spray tan booth so I can wear a cute dress and not blind everyone! It will be nice to start getting some big things for the baby so we can start to get the room ready...seems more and more real all the time. I can't believe how close we are now. CAN'T WAIT!!!

2/27/08 Finally showing!! Out of nowhere my belly just popped and now I really feel and look pregnant! All of a sudden people started noticing. I finally told work which ended up being no big deal at all. In fact, they are all very excited for me. It really feels like I got a belly overnight and now it is getting bigger every day! I love it. Feeling the baby more and more all the time too, but still no real kicks, jabs, or punches, just tickles. Trying to be patient with my boyfriend....I think men are just a different breed entirely, and damn do they take a long time to grow up. Finally starting to buy some things for the baby. Exciting! No pink or blue for us though! Wow, only four more months, I can't believe it!!!

2/20/08 Saw the doctor again yesterday...everything is fine. No ultrasound though. :( Heard a strong heart beat, and gained 5 lbs (eek) since last visit!! Won't go back for a month now. I am having a really hard time emotionally. Ups and downs with everything, especially baby's father...can't figure out if it's best for baby to stay with him and make things work or let him go and try to do it on my own. Or if these crazy feelings are even justified. Maybe everything is totally fine and I am just flipping out for no reason. It's starting to get really hard to concentrate at work...just want everything to work out so I can relax and feel happy and excited again. I'm getting tired of worrying all the time and feeling like the party pooper and being accused of being a nag. I just have high expectations and want the baby to have a good stable environment to grow up in with responsible positive influences.

2/11/08 Still doing great! This morning when I woke up and laid on my back, we could see Baby all balled up in a lump on one side. It made my stomach completely lopsided and you could really see something was in there and right where it was! It was wild! I love being able to see the little guy like that and know they're really in there! (I only say "they" because we're not finding out the sex of the baby and I hate to say "it".... only one baby though!) We also got to see the baby again last week in an ultrasound. Baby was moving around a ton....they have been everytime I've seen them! And it even looked like the stinker was waving at us, which was too cute. I'm having to have lots of check-ups and ultrasounds because I've had cryo-surgery on my cervix in the past, so my doctor is wanting to be sure that it stays strong and does not become incompetent. I don't mind the extra opportunities to make sure everything is okay and see Baby though!

I still am really not showing much. Just feel chubby and my boobs are gigantic! No strangers have asked me if I'm pregnant or anything....probably just think I'm a little chunky!! I will be happy to grow out of this awkward in-between stage. I feel like none of my clothes fit, but I'm not showing enough to show off my belly in maternity clothes either. I still am trying to hide it at work, which is getting a little tough. Hopefully no one has noticed my weight gain too much! I am afraid of telling them though because my boss is kinda mean and she's been super overloaded with work and problems lately. Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out.

I really can't complain about anything other than being stopped up in my nose and my bowels...ugh! And I'm a little crazy sometimes....cry for no reason or feel so strange...but hopefully that's all just a part of it and luckily my sweetie's being very patient. Overall, for the most part I'm loving being pregnant and have been very lucky to feel so great all the time. We sure can't wait to meet Baby! Hopefully these next four months will go as smoothly, and we'll be holding the little guy/gal before we know it!

1/25/08 I finally broke the news to my parents (I was really nervous about it) and they are thrilled!! They couldn't be happier!! I should have known they would be supportive and excited for me, they are such wonderful people. Now I feel like such a weight has been lifted and I am completely happy and excited about the baby!!! No more silly worrying about that!! The baby is happy too....they are moving around and kicking me today more than I've ever felt!! It makes it seem so real that they are getting bigger and stronger, and they really are in there somewhere! Still not really showing. Haven't told work yet, and luckily they can't tell! (I don't think anyways!) Winter clothes definitely help. Wow....almost half way and everything has been wonderful so far!!

1/15/08 Drs appt today....everything went great! HB=143 bpm, ultrasound looked wonderful...everything measured up right, heart was beating strong, and the tech said baby was very cooperative and moving around a lot!! Hopefully they will stay cooperative!! We've decided not to find out the sex of the baby...we're going to wait for the big surprise! It seems to be bothering everyone else a lot more than it is us! I figure though if I have to go through the long arduous hell of labor, I may as well have a wonderful surprise at the end of it to look forward to. Plus we want to wait and meet the baby before we decide on a name. We're thinking from the new pictures though that it kind of looks like a boy, and that's what my instincts have been telling me, but we'll see!

ABOUT ME: This is my first child....my boyfriend has a 9-year-old daughter who I love to death and am very close with, so we are all very happy and excited about the four of us becoming a family together. This was definitely a surprise, and honestly I was pretty upset at first, feeling like we weren't ready and this was not the right time in our lives, and I wished we had gotten married first and owned our own home, and worried that my family would be upset and not supporitve, but my boyfriend has been so good ever since the very beginning about helping me to see this as a positive thing and now I am very happy about it and feel very blessed that so far baby seems so healthy and everything has gone really well. Life seems to have a funny way of doing things its own way, on its own timeline, but I think it always works out for the best!

I'm sure I have no idea what challenges lie ahead for me this year, but I am so happy and grateful to know that I will be sharing them with the man I love, his wonderful daughter/my "step-daughter", and the baby!!! I know the most amazing experiences of our lives are on the horizon, and I am thrilled to begin experiencing them as they unfold. I love the surprises of life, and I just can't wait to meet our baby!