My name is Samantha and I joined this website in May 2008 when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. On April 22, 2008 I found out I was pregnant after being married for almost 9 1/2 years and never getting pregnant. I was always the type of person who believed if God wanted to happen, then he would allow it. Out of the blue, I just didn't feel just "quite right" so I took a pregnancy test. I didn't even tell my husband because I had taken many tests in my early marriage and they were all negative so I didn't want to disappoint him by telling him it was negative. So, anyways... I took the test and it was POSITIVE and then I took another just to make sure. POSITIVE!! OMG! I was estatic! Immediately fear and anxiety overwhelmed me because I had a lot of health issues. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, Myasthenia Gravis AND Lupus. I called my OB doc and he got me into his office that day. The first thing he said to me was, "what we're you thinking, getting pregnant? you'll be lucky if we can get you through the day let alone this pregnancy." I thought, "oh great" then my husband was really scared. So, 2 days later I seen my baby in the ultrasound. I was 6 weeks along. I was sent to a specialist. One of the best in my area. He told me he had met women with all of my health issues but NEVER one woman with all of my health issues. I would have done anything to have a healthy baby. So, I had to start giving myself insulin shots in the stomach 4x's a day and my husband had to give me lovenox shots in my lovehandles (upper butt) area. I had many sonograms at the high risk doctor's office. The last ultrasound I seen was on May 28, 2008 when my baby was 11 weeks along. Our baby was waving at us and playing with its feet. My mom got to see the baby for the first time at that appointment. On June 13th (just 2 weeks later), I went to my regular scheduled doctors appointment and there my doctor told me that my baby's heart had stopped. He might as well have ripped mine out at that time. I was sent to the hospital and I was enduced. I had to go through the whole labor & delivery process to deliver my 13.2 week baby. On June 14, 2008 Dakota Jordan Toft (sex unknown) came into this world at 5:45 am. I will never forget my experience. On June 28, 2008 we laid our baby to rest. I joined this website to speak to women about my pregnancy journey and instead it has been a healing place for me and my miscarriage experience instead.