http://fertilityfriend.com/home/heids

Hiya Girlies

Hubbs and I have been trying to start and complete our mad family for the last 2 years and after an amazing holiday in July spent touring the Pyrenees on a Harley I finally got the +ve that I'd been waiting for - hell of a shock to be honest, I never thought it would really happen. DH has 2 daughters from his younger days, one has a son which means i'll technically be a granny before I'm even a mum - Bizzare and the reason I say mad family!

All was going pretty well with the pregnancy, a fair old bit of heartburn and bloating but managed to get away with no morning sickness and I was pretty happy with my great new bbs so all was great in new momma land & we were both really excited about going for first scan at 11wks.

All that changed in about one minute though. The abdo ultrasound started and the midwife kept pushing harder and deeper into my pelvis and frowning at the monitor, DH and I both instantly knew this was not going to be good news - we are both nurses and pretty familiar with what ultrasounds look like. The midwife then asked if I was sure i was pregnant, how many tests i'd done & if I was sure but I couldn't speak to answer her. Then the scan was suddenly over with no heartbeat and the news that I might never have been pregnant and it was gone now if it had ever been.

I was then sent for a trans-vaginal scan; I had quite a wait which gave us a chance to absorb the news but then we were hit by another bombshell. Shortly into the scan DH started to cry (he & the nurse could see the screen) & the nurse began rubbing my arm, the Dr doing the scan asked if I had a history of twins in my family - "yes".

Then the scan was over once more and we were told that we had 2 babies inside me but neither had a heartbeat. One had died at 7wk2days and the other at 7wk3days, it was too soon to tell what sex they were but to me they will always be Rhys and Rhian, the names we chose for a boy and a girl.

I had a D&C the following day, I really could not face the idea of waiting to pass them naturally when I had thought I had an 11 wk baby alive and well.

Now I'm taking things day by day & loving the support and love I've found on this site - a tear free day is a good day, a tear filled day can only get better! We are TTC as soon as possible & hope so much that one day sooner rather than later we will be blessed.

Heidi xxx