Birth Story:

I went to the hospital Thursday night (1/24) to start the prostaglandin gel. The day before at my doctor's appt the doctor told me I was 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced. But the staff at the hospital told me as they were putting in the gel, that I was 3 cm and 50% effaced. Sometime during the night, at maybe 1 or 3 am, they started the pitocin drip. It didn't hurt at all. And I could barely feel my contractions when they did come. They felt like minor period pains. At 7 or 8 am Friday morning, they checked me again, and I was only 4 cm, so they cranked up the pitocin. Still, I could barely feel the contractions. But within a few hours, they started to get worse. They hurt a lot, but they weren't horrible. But I knew I wanted an epidural, so I asked for one before I missed my window. By noon 1 pm or so the epidural came and then a doctor came in to check my progress. He decided to break my water to see if he could get things going faster. He tried, but he said he kept snagging the bag, but it didn't want to break. He said he didn't feel comfortable trying to force it any more than that, but he said because he snagged it, it could spontaneously rupture. And that is what happened. When the nurse came to check me at 2 or 3, she said I was 8cm dilated and my water had broken. Because of the epidural, I couldn't even tell that my water had broken! It just felt slightly warm down there. By 4, I was 10 cm dilated, but had no urge to push. The nurse wanted me to wait to feel the urge. By 5:30 or 6 my epidural bag warned me that it was running out and needed to be replaced. The nurses didn't replace it. So at some point my pain meds ran out. I started hurting again, so the nurse had me start pushing at 6:50. It hurt a lot. Because I could feel intense period cramps in my belly, and they made it hard to push. By the end I felt too weak to hold my legs up, and others had to do it for me. But after 1 hr 45 minutes of pushing, my little boy was born at 8:35 pm January 25th. He weighed 8lbs 6oz. And scored 8 and 9 on his 1 and 5 minute apgars. :)

The pushing hurt, but not as much as I thought it would. I had 20 tiny tiny stitches. The recovery is achy but barely hurts. :)

1/23/08

My Little Boy will be born on Friday, January 25th 2008!!! I went to my 40 week doctor's appointment today, and asked them to check my cervix (since they never have before now.) I am 1cm dialated but 70% effaced. I guess this means I must have lost my mucous plug at some point? I never noticed it come out. Unless it just slowly dissolved. But, the doctor said conditions weren't terrible for induction of labor, but they weren't prime either. She talked it over with her supervisors and they gave approval for me being induced!!! We would have been able to start tonight, but the charge nurse at the hospital said that they had no extra room tonight. So, I go to the hospital tomorrow night(Thurs.) at 7pm. They will start me on a prostaglandin insert. And Friday morning we will start the pitocin. I'll have to remind them to hook me up to antibiotics, because I tested positive for Group B strep. Well...they'll probably know to do it, but I don't want to take any chances with my little boy. Of course, I am planning on asking for an epidural, because I've heard that inductions hurt more than normal labor. Though I won't have anything to compare it to because this will be my first baby.

It's so hard to wrap my head around. I am going to be a mother in two days or less. I am going to have a son. A little wriggling thing that I will love unconditionally and raise. My little boy. I'm excited, but I am also a little scared at the enormity of the change that is going to happen. But my love for my son and my excitement overshadow my anxiety.

I don't know if I am going to be laboring alone. My friend Tessa may be there for the begining, but she will have to go to work by 5:30 Friday night. My ex....I've asked him to show up Friday morning and stay through the duration, and he agreed. But he also said he'd come to my doctor's appointments...and he's missed my last four. In fact...his phone ran out of minutes, so I had to put $15 on his phone just so I could tell him when and where I am having the baby. I would have been screwed if I had been trying to reach him and was actually in labor. Dumba$$. He seemed surprised that I would be having the baby so soon. On my due date. Even though I told him previously I was going to ask about induction. Oh well.

Everyone wish me luck and a safe, successful (vaginal) labor. :)

Pregnancy Survey

About You
Name?: Jana
Age?: 25
Height?: 5'8"
Pre-pregnancy weight?: 161

About The Father
Name?: Allen Scott
Age?: 24
Height?: 5'7"
Are you still together?: ...maybe?

About Your Pregnancy
Is this your first pregnancy?: yes
When did you find out you were pregnant?: 5/22/07
Was it planned?: oh no..
What was your first reaction?: tell me this isn't real?
Who was with you when you found out?: no one.
Who was the first person you told?: the boyfriend person
How did your parents react?: surprisingly supportive
How far along are you?: between 17-19 weeks
What was your first symptom?: sore breasts
What is your due date?: either 1/11/08 or 1/25/08. Dates are a little weird because I had a short period after the accident, so it depends on if I go with the accident or the period.
Do you know the sex of the baby?: Yes
If so, what is it?: It's a boy!
Have you picked out names?: not yet
If so, what are they?:
How much weight have you gained?: lost some, but then gained some. In all, 5lbs above pre-pregnancy weight
Do you have stretch marks?: no
Have you felt the baby move?: i think
Have you heard the heartbeat?: yes!

About the birth
Will you keep the baby?: yes
Home or hospital birth?: hospital
Natural or medicated birth?: probably medicated
Who will be in the delivery room with you?: the boyfriend person, and perhaps my mom
Will you breastfeed?: yes
Do you think you'll need a c-section?: no?
Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: yes
What's the first thing you might say to him/her?: Dunno. I love you?
Would you let someone videotape the birth?: dunno
Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: scared and excited. more scared

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1/16/08

So, I found out today that I have been approved for maternity leave coverage under the short term disability claim. Whew! That is a load off of my chest. I stopped working a week ago, and after that, I found out that cigna could possibly deny my claim because I didn't work up till my due date of the 25th. Buuutttt....they're being nice about it, and I'm glad because I need that 80% of my pay for those 5 or 6 weeks. I am a single mom, and I can't afford to stay home and take care of the baby if they're not paying me anything, AND I would want the time to bond with my little boy, rather than putting him in daycare. Anything after that 6 weeks will be my vacation time used up, and I'm allowed to take up to 12 weeks off total, including unpaid time. Blah blah blah.

I taught myself how to crochet, and with a few pointers from my friend, I crocheted two baby hats, and I am 1/3 of the way done making a baby blanket. Keeps my occupied in my boredom waiting for the baby to come. And it's kind of fun making stuff and knowing my little boy will wear or use it.

Had a doctor's appointment today. Only one more left now. The doctor I saw this week was really nice, and she told me that the baby is measuring right on target, and that his heart rate sounded good, and that he was head down. She even showed me where on my stomach he was laying inside of me. His back is curved along my right side, and on my middle/upper left side is his butt. So that big lump that keeps moving and feels weird when he moves it...that's him wiggling his little booty. :) I thought it was too big for a foot, and I was scared it was his head, cause that would have made him breech.

A little over a week and my little angel will be here.

My mom decided that she might come into town for a week, starting the 25th. My brother might be here for a weekend too. That's good. I was expecting to be alone for the delivery and the week or so after. So now, as long as the baby comes on time.......When I asked, the doctor did tell me that as long as my cervix is favorable, that I could opt for elective induction after my due date. Other than that, they don't induce till 42 weeks. So....as long as I am so much dialated and effaced, I guess I am going to opt for the induction, so my mom gets to see her grandchild while she is visiting. It's only every few years that I get to see my mom, and I don't want the first time she sees her grandchild to be when he's two. At my appointment next Wed. the doc is going to check my cervix and such for the first time. Here's hoping everything is favorable!

I haven't really been having signs of labor yet. No painful contractions. Just a noticable tightness occasionally. Sometimes I get what feel like period cramps. And this is probably TMI, but occasionally I get a slimy white/clear discharge that does not seem like it could be anything close to a mucous plug. But who knows. Maybe it is just falling out/thinning out in small small pieces.

My friend Tessa gave me a crib, and she and her mom are giving me lots of hand me down baby clothes, sheets, towels, and such. :) They are so nice! Especially since no one ever threw me a baby shower. This is my shower equivalent. The only stipulation is that I have to let them see the baby often, and let them play with him, and sit for him. :)

Blah blah blah blah. When I am bored, I type overly long entries. And do the dishes as soon as there's one in the sink. And sweep 5 times as often as I used to.

Hope the baby comes in the next day or two. Hope the baby comes tonight. Hope the baby comes tonight. Hope the baby comes tonight.....! I will be saying this every night until the baby comes!

1/7/08

Venting frustrations: It feels like I'm gonna be pregnant forever. I've begun to wonder if it not really a baby in there, but maybe I just got really fat and have lots of moving gas. Baby? If there is one, he'll never come out, it feels like. I've tried raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil, and castor oil. none of them did anything. The castor oil hardly even affected me the way it normally is supposed to on a person. And I know i took enough. :( This baby just doesn't want to leave. And i need him out soon, or my job will quibble over maternity leave. Corporate doesn't want me to take maternity leave until exactly the 25th of January, or when the baby is born, if he's here sooner. They may not cover me if I take two weeks off before my due date. That would really suck. Really. Tomorrow was supposed to be my last day at work, but if they deny my claim, then I will have to ask the manager to put me back on the schedule temporarily. And my job is one of those stand up all day jobs. I get scolded if I sit down when customers are in the store. And when I am at work, I have lots of BH contractions, and most recently around the same time as I am contracting, shooting pains in my lower back and my inner thighs. And my pelvic area feels like it's burning sometimes. Is that the baby getting into position? My stomach's been cramping a lot more recently (and not because of the castor oil at all.)

What frustrates me even more is that after my 17 week sonogram, the doctor or rn, or whoever it was, told me that I would probably be delivering a week or so early. I am going to be sorely disappointed if I don't deliver by the 18th. Don't tell a pregnant woman that she is going to deliver early if she is not going to pop that baby out early.

Will my little boy ever be here? Love him to death, but I want him out of my belly and in my arms. Aggrhrhrhhhrhhhhhhfhhhghgh!

--A frustrated pregnant woman.

1/2/08

Got a doctor's appoinment today. They're going to test me for GBS. I am going to ask the doc to check my dialation and effacement too. We'll see what he/she says. There's always a different doctor in each time I go to the office. So I never know who I'll be seeing or who will attend my birth. I cleaned up my apartment today, and took out all the trash I've been neglecting. Swept, reorganized, etc. I'm ususally very messy. My mom called in the middle of my cleaning spree and seemed amused that I felt the urge to clean. She said, 'Uh-oh. Right before either you or Rico(my older brother) was born, I felt the urge to clean everything. That means it's coming soon.'

I took the tour of the maternity ward a few days ago, and I am glad I opted for it. They showed me how to enter the hospital and get right to labor and delivery without getting stuck in the emergency room, even if I show up at 3am. They showed me how to bypass security to get in. They showed me which desks to go to. They showed me the type of room I'd be staying in. The labor and delivery rooms have a big, comfy bed. TV and DVD player, comfy glider, a bathroom and shower, birthing balls in the bathroom, cordless phone, oh, and when I am ready to deliver, the bottom half of the bed breaks away and stirrups come out. The doctor will sit on a stool at my lower end. I feel less frightened about going into labor just knowing where I will be when it happens, and what it looks like. They also showed me the nursery. There were no babies in it at the time, but they showed me the small little beds that they put the babies in. They roll the beds into the mother's room most of the time, and beneath the bed, there is a drawer with shirts and diapers and blankets for the baby to use. The hospital has a policy that after birth,(I guess after they cut the cord and weigh him and clean him off?) the baby is placed skin to skin on the mother's chest, and then for the first hour of the baby's life, the staff leaves the mother, father, and baby isolated bonding time. In that first hour, they advise me to start trying to breast feed, and they will show me how if I am unsure. Just knowing that makes me even more excited to meet my little boy for the first time. I had to sign consent forms for the hospital to give my son medical treatment, and to give him his first set of hepatitis b immunizations. I know it'll kill me to see him get shots, or know that he has to get a needle put in him, but it's for his health...so....I have to. And then I told them I did want him circumcised. Ouch. I hate thinking of my little boy in pain, but...it's better to get it over and done with at birth. The hospital staff should show me how to care for his cord stump and his circumcised little boy bit.

I want to get labor over and done with today. Now. ASAP. I am ready. But I guess my little boy is not. I had some contractions while I was cleaning, but it could just be the physical work I was doing that caused them.

Oh...and I am not looking forward to the massive hemmrhoids (or however you spell that word) that will happen during labor. Ohhh... I was completely fine during the majority of my pregnancy, but in the last week, I've felt so much pressure down there that a few uncomfortable ones popped up. And I haven't even been constipated! It's just from all that pressure!

Hehehehheee. My little boy just stuck his butt into my arm. Or whatever that large hard lump of him is. So, I've got a little baby lump sticking out on my left side right now. I wonder how he is laying? I will ask that doctor that tomorrow morning. Well I guess that would really be this morning. It's only 1am here, but my apt. is at 10.

I know I have my official due date, and then the date the 17 or so week ultrasound measured him to be (the 25th and the 16th/18th of January, respectively) but I can't help thinking that IF I go by the date I specifically remember having unprotected sex...April 20th or so as the conception date....I will be due in 9 days. But the doctors don't want to count that date, because the day after I had unprotected sex, I had an abnormally short period. My period is normally 5 days long with some residual sometimes leading into a 6th day. This period was a day or less, including all residual stuff. I only had to use one pad, which is very abnormal for me. So either my body was acting weird, or I got pregnant during my period. It's possible but not that likely in terms of odds. So the doctors are using that abnormal period for the date of my LMP.

8 more days of work left. ...hmm...i still need to officially put in for my maternity leave. I have up to three days after I go on leave to put in for it, but I should do it now. Procrastination is bad. Bad Jana. Bad Jana.

No one ever threw me a baby shower :( Oh well. With the holidays and everything, I understand that people were busy and probably forgot. Also, my family is not in this city. My brother is in Chicago, and my mom and dad are in South Florida. So...they would have thrown me one if they'd lived in the middle of nowhere missouri with me, but alas. I'm here in the midwest without family. Had I been back home in florida.....I would have had a shower, I know. But....I chose to stay in MO for the time being.

Whew! another lump of baby just rolled by my arm. He's on the move!!!!

I love him so much! This little person inside of me!

I am bored.

I have to pee...again.

12/30/07

I've got 18 more days till the date my 17 week ultrasound measured my baby to be. But my stomach is measuring small.... About 3.5 more weeks till my official due date. And one of the doctors/interns said that my stomach was measuring 3 or four weeks behind, but then the midwife came in and said I was right on target. So.....I just know I'll be having the baby in January. Probably sooner than later, because the ultrasound counts for more than my fundal height.

When he moves in my stomach, I feel it more. The movements feel more...powerful. Like I can tell if it's a kick/punch, or a roll, or a wriggle. And sometimes he sticks little lumps of baby parts out of my stomach. Sometimes, he'll seek out my hand or arm and try to kick it (or a book if I have a book against my stomach.) Sometimes if he doesn't like the way I am laying, he'll continue to kick me until I roll over.

I am so excited!!!!! I can't wait for him to be here. I can't wait to meet my little love, and see what he looks like. I can't wait to look into his eyes for the first time. I can't wait to see his first smile and hear his first giggle or coo. :)

I love my little boy more and more each day that goes by. And he's not even here yet!

He's my whole world, and I would do anything for him. And I know these feelings of love will only intensify once I meet him.No matter what he looks like, he'll be perfect.

:D

I wonder when the doctor will check me for dialation and effacement? Tomorrow morning I go to the hospital to fill out pre-admission paperwork, and I will get a tour of the maternity ward. And I've read that during this tour, they are supposed to show me how to enter the hospital while laboring, without getting mired in the emergency room.

It's so close now! It's a countdown to when I see my little one. ... My dad is betting on the 22nd of January. I was born on the 22nd of September, and my mom was born on the 22nd of April. Oh, and my brother's wife was born on the 22nd of January....My brother was born on the 2nd of August. So....my little boy needs to have a 2 in his birthday day. Maybe even two twos. :P

To be honest, I don't really care about the date he is born. I just want to meet him soon, and have him be a happy, healthy baby.

I love my little boy more than I can comprehend or relay in words.

:D

12/11/07

Well, about 30 days till one of my prospective due dates. I went to the doctor yesterday, and the interns and resident said that my belly is measuring at 32 weeks. A little behind. However, the ultrasound I had at week 20 (or so) showed that the baby himself was measuring a week bigger, putting me at week 35 right now. Dunno....We'll see when the baby pops out in January. :)

Last night we had ice rain, and now, when I look out the window, everything is covered with ice. the trees look like giant icicles. I am afraid to go outside today, just in case I slip on a patch of ice on the stairs or the sidewalks. Good thing I have today off of work! I can just relax. Maybe. If I can relax after calling the phone company and trying to talk my way out of a $325 phone bill my ex ran up. He used 2000 too many text messages, pretty much, leaving me to argue my way out of them or pay for them. :( He may be the baby's father, but he can be such a rude bastard sometimes...lots of the time....

Sometimes I am sad that I had to break up with him because he couldn't give up his other 'girls' for me and the baby. And he lied about them. But then I remember he's an a$$hole who would cause me more stress and heartache if I were with him. This sadness I sometimes feel--it is only temporary. I will find someone who treats me as I should be treated. And as long as I have my son, everything will be okay. :)

11/28/07

My belly's getting biiig!! It's like it happened overnight. Whew, he's getting to be a big boy. I wonder what position he's in right now? The doctor says she won't be able to tell till 36-38 weeks. Also, I've been having lots of painless contractions. Especially while at work. My belly just bunches up like a rock. Sometimes, and not while I'm having braxton hicks, it feels like I'm having period cramps. It just aches down there every once in a while. And, my pelvis occasionally feels like it's going to rip apart.

It seems so close and yet so far away. My little man (my little gummi bear) will be here soon.

11/5/07

The baby is kicking a lot. Especially when I lay down to rest. My doctor hasn't asked me to do the kick counts yet, but if I were to count at night, after I eat, 10 kicks would come in 25-30 seconds. Literally. The father of the baby tried to listen to the baby's heartbeat, and the baby kicked him in the head. Hee heehehe hee. Way to go little boy! Way to go.

I've been feeling a little down about the future, and future prospects in love, but I have to remember that a positive outlook is always best. I think my little boy is making me a stronger person. Somehow, I just KNOW that everything will be okay as long as I have him. Just me and the little one. Oh, the baby's father wants to be in his life too. But...I don't think he'll be in my life, other than to help with our son. I just have to hope that someday I will meet someone I can love and trust and hopefully marry. And he will have to love and accept my son too. My son comes first. I just hope I can open myself up to trust again.

Oh yeah, today was the first day that a stranger knew I was pregnant without me rubbing my stomach in the middle of him kicking. The girl at McDonalds asked me if I was hiding anything underneath my shirt. I finally look pregnant! Though people still say I'm too small for how far along I am. I think I will magically pop out in months 8 and 9, and then be gigantically huge. Yeah.

:)

10/08/07

Some of my entries have been mysteriously deleted. Hmmm....Weird. Oh well. I'm starting to feel the baby kick a lot. some days he won't stop moving and my belly even physically moves and twitches along with his kicks. Other days I barely hear from him if at all. But I just came back from the doctor's earlier today, and they said everything seems and sounds perfectly fine with my pregnancy. Baby's heart rate is good. I finally started gaining some weight and they were pleased with that. My measurements must've been on track too. Except I think that they moved me a week ahead in my due date time frame without officially telling me. ...I think. They told me that according to my 18/20 week ultrasound that my baby was measuring a week or so ahead of my "official" due date (and my due date is all screwed up anyway because I had an abnormal cycle the month or so I got pregnant. The day I know I had unprocted sex is waaaaay off from what they wanted to label my conception date. But I guess they are making up for that now by changing my appointment dates around a little bit.) They scheduled my week 28 appointment three weeks from now, when I will be barely 27 weeks according to them. And then after that, I go to appointments every two weeks. I guess. Now is just the waiting game, I guess. Countdown till my son is here.

8/31/07

My boyfriend, the father of my baby, the man who said he wants to marry me and have a family with me...he has an open profile on dating sites. That says he's single. That he's looking for the right girl. That he has no kids. (Though, since the baby hasn't been born yet, technically that one is true.)

He is looking for a girl to date while I am pregnant with his baby. He lives with me and talks about marriage, and he's open to finding another girl. Do I try to stay with him for the baby's sake and hope he changes when the baby is born? I know him, and I know if I confront him on the issue, he's turn it around, make it seem like my fault, and threaten to leave. He'll tell me I'm overreacting, and that it's nothing, and why don't I trust him. Because you're freakin telling people you're single you arse! I don't think things will work out between me and the father. He won't even tell his family and friends that he's dating me, let alone that I am nearly five months pregnant (I don't really look pregnant. I can hide it without even trying because my belly hasn't gotten too much bigger. I've only gained 6 or 7 lbs total.

Argggg. What do I do?