janesays's profile

janesays
	Age: 38ish Country: US Province/region: City: blountville Partner: B.E. Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Trying to conceive Due date: 09 0 ,0000 Occupation: Doula, midwifery assistant
	Online: 30 days ago. Last updated: 169 days ago. Member since: 169 days
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Ten years ago I gave birth to my first son, John Paul. I was young and unaware of alternatives in labor and delivery. I had the full board. Pain meds, epidural, episiotomy, and trouble nursing. Yet I felt confident and proud of my accomplishment and loved mothering him! Less than two years later, I gave birth to my daughter, Emily, by induction. I had questioned this but was told the doctor really felt I should be induced because my baby was big. I believed him, was induced and had the worst time. There was soooo much pain, I laid flat on the bed, and the doctor kept his fingers in my cervix through two contractions, a pain I will never forget. The staff did not offer position changes or comfort measures (not that I was smart enough to ask), a nurse yelled at me for propping myself up on my elbows to push. My daughter cried and cried and cried for many days after her birth, nursing was a complete failure, I wasn't there for my son and the confidence I had before was lost. I wasn't even sure I loved my little girl. I received no help at home, my husband had to return to work right away, and I suffered from ppd. Six months later, I read an article in Parents magazine about doulas. It made so much sense. I felt cheated for not having known about them before. It wouldn't have made much difference for me because there were no doulas in my area, but it got me thinking.

All my life I have loved babies and children, I longed to be a mother. When my high school girlfriend were applying to colleges, I only wanted to get married and have kids. For years before that finally happened, I worked in various ways as a child care provider. During my pregnancies and my babies infancies, we worked every day in someone else's home, caring for their children. I was a small leap from that to doula.

I have worked as a doula, providing both labor and postpartum support, for the last six years. I have loved it all. There is no greater gift than to help a new mom find her way and then leave her to it. I recieve much more than just a paycheck from my job, I get the satisfaction that the mom I help isn't groping in the dark, or suffering from no support. I helping moms not to feel what I did. Hopeless, helpless, confused and sure there is a better way.

Last Thanksgiving we discovered we were pregnant again (oops). I decided from the beginning that I would use all of my knowledge and skills to help myself. I chose a midwife that delivers in my local hospital, and she agreed to let my go over my "due date" by two weeks to avoid induction, she also agreed not to cut me. On July 27, after laboring at home all night, I went to the hospital. My midwife was there and stayed with us almost the whole time. I delivered my son, Joseph Arloe, unmedicated and uncut after only three hours in the hospital. He nursed right away and has been an astounding nurser since then. I recovered quickly and felt great physically. It was the best feeling ever.

I did suffer again from ppd, but this time I knew what it was and was able to get help immediatly. We are very happy. Thank you for letting me tell my story, it is therapy in it self.

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Comments 26-50 to janesays
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busybeemom - Thursday, 14 August
Sophie just got her 3rd tooth today... YAY!

munkobaby - Thursday, 7 August
I hope this short message finds you well. I am sorry that I have been unable to respond more frequently this past week. I am frantically trying to get this big family of mine ready for a road trip. We will be on vacation starting tomorrow thru the 15th. I promise to get right back to people once we have unpacked the family van. Love you all. xoxoj

niseybear - Thursday, 7 August
To those of you who responded, thank you, your support is greatly appreciated. In answer to the couple of questions: I only have to fast from sundown Saturday to sundown Sunday, I've done it before, I'm just not "feeling" it this time. I have to have my head covered at all times in public. In my household or in a household that is women only, I can take it off.
And to Tess42~~AMEN! I will NOT be bothered either with a religion just lets me be.
I also appreciate all the comments on Mo, he is such a sweet baby!

Even though he refuses to stay down for his second nap at the moment!

All you ladies are great! Thank you and again be blessed!

niseybear - Tuesday, 5 August
Hello my friends!

I am not well. Physically I'm fine, even though I haven't had a period in 3 months. I am spotting so to speak and saw some red today, but no real period, and of course I'm not pregnant. I would WELL be showing now if I was.

So anyway, spiritually and emotionally I'm beaten. It's hard living the lifestyle hubby and I live without a community. Meredthy0315 knows what I speak of because she lives the lifestyle too.

I have a day coming up where I have to fast, no choice, and I really don't want to nor do I care what happens if I don't. I eat kosher and for the last week or so, all I've wanted to do is walk into a fast food place and order whatever I want. There are no kosher restaurants in our area so hubby and I stopped eating out 3 years ago. I keep my head covered as most of the observant woman who follow Judaism do and lately I've been walking outside to put my clothes in the laundry without my head covered. Granted it's out the side door where I can't be seen, but when I exit my house, I'm go cover my head in case a man walks by. I'M TIRED LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If it wasn't for Mo, I would have kicked it a looooooooooooong time ago, but my son deserves better and so does my hubby.

I start school in 2 weeks and I'm ready and excited, but I'm to the point where I'm beginning to not care again. I want to be where the others living the lifestyle I'm living, someone I can call or go see when I'm having problems, go eat in a kosher restaurant whenever I want to, take my son out for his first kosher meal when he starts eating "real" food

, and being able to spend time with others who understand. No I'm not Jewish, but I live the lifestyle and my friend who is Jewish tells me that Charles and I are more Jewish than some of her friends born that way because of how we live. I hear it will get better, but when?????!!!!! I just want to feel better.

Other than that, Mo is VERY well! He hates chicken though!

Tried it today and for the first time he gagged and then spit it out each time I gave it to him. We'll try again at nine months, it'll hold in the freezer for 10 weeks.

Thanks for being there my friends! Be blessed!

niseybear - Friday, 1 August
New pictures of Mo and a new update. Take care my friends!

busybeemom - Tuesday, 22 July
I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes! To all my ladies that sent the e cards, after I was done laughing it brought a tear to my eye!!! Hugs to all!

niseybear - Sunday, 20 July
Hello everyone!

I just wanted to let you all know that I won't be on as much. Nothing is wrong, I just do better when I visit here every 4 days or so instead of everyday. We are well with the exception of my husband working 6 days a week and not having any family time. Today (sunday) is supposed to be our day together, but he's at work. I'm hoping he's feeling okay when he gets off and maybe if it's not too late, he, Mo, and I can go for a drive and then later him and I to a movie. Work is cool and I'm only one month away from starting school. I know what I want to be when I grow up....A TEACHER!

I don't want to be a server when I'm 50.

I only need 4 courses for my AA and then I can start my work for my BA in elementary education. I'M SCARED TO DEATH, but I know if it's meant to be, G-d will see to it.

Mo is 7 months old now and is an official crawler!

He only scoots every now and again. He was standing up in his crib this morning and I just about died!

He was more on his toes, but it was so cute! Looks like he may be walking soon. I haven't breastfed in nearly a month and a half and it's odd, I do miss it. What a closeness Mo and I had while I was doing it. We still have that bond, but breastfeeding made it even more special. I haven't had a period in about 3 months now, but I did bleed for about a day and a half last month. I'm going to talk to my OB if I don't see a cycle once I hit the green pills on my BC. Of course I'm not pregnant, no signs whatsoever. And I know what they mean when they say, once you've been pregnant, you know instantly the next time you are. I took 2 tests over 2 months and of course BFN and I'm okay with that. I want to enjoy Mo for a little while longer. And this house just isn't big enough for another little one.

Our stimulus check arrived on July 7th and it was SO NICE to finally receive it. Money was low and now we're on the high end once again and I'm hoping it stays that way for a bit. Well, let me go, my little man has been in his activity center long enough watching Baby Einstein. He's such a good boy...even if he does wake up at 2:45 in the AM and doesn't go down again til nearly 4AM!

Oh I was MAD this AM because I was SO tired. I put him back in his crib because I was upset and a few minutes later hubby stepped in and took over. I didn't hear him again til 6am and I was okay with that. Got him a bottle and he fell asleep about 30 minutes later and we BOTH slept til nearly 8:30!

Hope all you guys are well. Be blessed and take care!

Baby Jaidalynn - Tuesday, 8 July
Hi, sorry I haven't been on lately. It's been super busy for me these past few days. Between Dance/Pageant competition, lessons, gymnastic and Jaidalynn walking all over the place while I chase her, I just haven't had the time to come on to chat. But I will as soon as everything settles down. Miss you all and will soon be back on in no time.

Hugs from Jaidalynn and lilly!

niseybear - Monday, 7 July
Mo turned 7 months on the 4th of July!

Where the heck did the time go???

He's such a BIG boy now! Although we had trouble in the Walmart buggy today.

Don't think mommy had his little belt placed correctly. He fell to the side twice, but luckily never hit his head.

He's in his new Britax car seat and it's SO much easier getting him in and out. I wanted to buy myself something for my birthday on Friday, but Walmart didn't have the DVD I wanted so I purchased some more clothes for Mo. If I can't buy for me then I will ALWAYS buy for Mo.

I got him a puzzle that makes sounds when you put the pieces back in. It's so neat. It's called Farm Animals Puzzle. Got it for $10 at BELK'S.
I hope all of you are well. Take care!

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