Dec. 15th, 2007

Well it took my husband and I some time to finally get pregnant. I had very irregular periods and went to my ob to figure out what the problem was. She took some tests and and had an hsg done and it showed that I had blocked tubes. I started seeing a fertility specialist and he gave me the option to have surgery to look inside of me. I decided to have surgery to fix the problem and when they got in there they said they were just twisted?? so they fixed them and said everything looked great. I was still having problems with long cycles so he put me on Femara (fertility drug) because I was not ovulating each cycle. They diagnosed me with PCOS, this is the reason I was not ovulating and my cycles were so irregular.

The very first month that I was on the drug we got pregnant!! We found out on October 24, 2007. We were soooo excited! My due date was July 4th...what an awesome birthday! We were so happy and I did everything possible to have a healthy pregnancy but on Dec. 12 (11 weeks along) I noticed some bleeding that night so I called my ob and she got me in for an u/s the next day. As I layed there I just knew something was wrong. I saw our little baby just laying there with no heartbeat. I was devistated, I started crying and sobbing, thank God my husband was there with me. They said that our baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. It was the hardest thing to see. We had just seen and heard our little baby's heartbeat just a few weeks earlier and everything was fine, so I don't know what happened and I never will. I had a d&c the next morning and that was the worst day of my life. Just knowing that i was leaving the hospital without my baby was hard to grasp. I felt empty inside, i was missing my little baby that I had carried for 11 weeks. We wanted this more than anything and we would have been awesome parents that loved and cared for our baby. I just hope that we will have more children. I have to have faith in God that there was a reason for this loss and trust that He will make our dream come true. I loved our little baby so much and I know that he/she is watching us from heaven. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through and I hope that the pain will fade and that I will come to accept what has happened. I just know that it will take time.

A little update!! We're pregnant again! It took 3 months after our m/c to see a BFP!

Jan. 9th,2008

Went to my infertility dr. today to talk with him about what our next step is. He wants me to wait until I have a period and then put me on Femara again, since that is what worked last time. I don't know when I'll get AF, since I have extremely irregular cycles but he said if I don't get it by the end of the month that they will give me a shot to induce it (they did that last time too). I had a lot of questions to ask him because I don't want to go through another miscarriage. They will do progesterone testing once I become pregnant to see if i will need that but I just have to wait.

Jan. 20th, 2008

AF came! I was so excited to see it. I hope it's the last time:) It came 6 weeks after m/c. Now I am taking Femara CD 3-7. I'm also going to do acupuncture again, since it worked for me the 1st time around. I hope this is the month!!!

Feb. 7th,2008

I had an u/s on the 2nd to take a look at my ovaries to make sure they were producing mature eggs......they found 2 mature eggs from my right ovary so they gave me an hCG trigger shot to induce ovulation(they do this since I am on Femara and want to make sure the drug is working). I have been charting my temps as well and think that I ovulated on the 4th, so now I'm in the two week waiting period.......feels like forever!! I hope this is the month!!

Feb. 16th, 2008

AF showed up today, so this wasn't the month for me:( Starting with femara again on the 18th. I didn't know what to expect since it was the first month ttc after my m/c. Trying to stay positive. It seems like everywhere I go someone is pregnant or someone I know is pregnant. It's just so frustrating! I want to be preggo again and have a healthy baby.

March 4th, 2008

I've just begun the 2ww. Had the hcg trigger shot on Sat. ....I think I o'ed on Sunday or Monday, so now I just have to wait and see if this is the month for me. I really hope it is.....i want to be preggers so badly. I hate this wait, I just want to know!!! Please Please let me be pregnant!! Trying to stay optimistic during this waiting period. Sticky baby dust to me and to all of you:)

March 16, 2008

BFP!! I can't beleive it......we're pregnant again! It's been 3 months since my miscarriage and I'm so excited to be pregnant again. I am still nervous though but I'm sure that's to be expected. I just want this trimester to fly by. I hope this baby is healthy and everything goes well. I am praying more than ever.......i just want to have a healthy baby in my arms.

March 25th

Well, I have my 1st u/s on April 3rd and I am very nervous and very excited. I just want to hear a strong heartbeat and know that everything is ok. My hcg levels were increasing at a good rate but I'm still not having any symptoms, not even breast tenderness. I know it's still early for some symptoms and I know not everyone gets the classic symptoms but it would make me worry less if I had something to reassure myself that I am in fact pregnant.

April 3rd, 2008
I had my first appt. today at 6 weeks 5 days and my dr did a transvaginal u/s and he could see the gestational sac and the yolk sac but no heartbeat. I was so worried that this would happen. I have been having a backache for the last week and still have no symptoms. I have to go back in on Monday to check again but it didn't sound too promising. I am still trying to have hope but it's hard when i have gone through this before. I just pray that Monday is a good day and maybe it was just too early to see a heatbeat.

April 7th 7w2d

Today is a great day! I had my follow-up u/s today to see if there was a heartbeat and low and behold there was!! I was prepared for the bad news but instead we got great news. I still can't believe it......it's a miracle. It was just too early and I had to give my little bean an extra 4 days to grow. The doc said he/she had grown so much since last week, and we got to see the little flicker on the screen and hear the thumping of the heart. It was amazing!! . I am 7w2d and the baby's hb is 150 bpm. This is one huge hurdle, now we just need to take one day at a time and hope everything goes well. I can't wait until Nov.!

April 15th 8w3d

Had my 1st prenatal appt. today with my ob dr. We got another u/s done and the baby is right on schedule and his/her hb is 157 bpm. My dr. put me on progesterone because of my previous m/c. I thought they usually prescribe it when you get your positive pg test but I guess it's better late than never and it can't hurt. I will do anything to keep this little baby!!

April 29th 10w3d

We got to hear the baby's hb again but this time with a doppler. It was amazing to hear it again and so relieved to be this far. This time it was 160 bpm.....staying strong. I just wish I could get an u/s each time and watch s/he grow:) Still no major symptoms. I've only felt nausea a few times but nothing horrible and it only lasts a few min. or until I eat something. I actually feel really well, so I hope I'm in the clear but at the same time I wish I had some symptoms to make me feel pregnant:)