I'll first start off and tell you a little about myself.

I'm 20 years old and more mature than alot of people older than me. Probobly because i had things go on in my younger years most people never have to deal with, so i had to grow up fast. I've been waitressing for awhile now and modelling since i was 15. These last couple years i havent been that into it (modelling that is) probobly because the people the models and everyone in the industry are soo catty and vain it was like highschool times a thousand! So I chose not to do it anymore for my sanity and to be able to eat whatever the hell i wanted again!

Well this is my first baby. 2nd pegnancy i did have a previous miscarriage which was a difficult time. Im in my 2nd trimester which has been alot more difficult for me than the 1st! I only experienced morning sickness 2 times and that was around my 8 week mark and thats when i knew. I was extremley tired but am starting to regain my energy. Now my only complaint is these killer migrains and im feeling bloated and streched out. Besides that everythings been great. I can't wait to find out the sex of my baby, i go for the ultrasound October 29th!!!

October 16th-

feeling ok ... havent felt the baby move yet or havent relized it because i honestly dont know what im suppossed to be feeling.. but i guess i'll know when it happens right. But if these migrains don't subside or ease up even a little i dont know what im going to do... ahh !!

OCTOBER 29TH!!!!!- day of ultrasound

well all along i thought i was going to have a boy and i thought i wanted a boy unil i found out im having a .....LITTLE BABY GIRL i am soo happy and overcome with joy right now! Now we can really start deciding on names and getting the nursery together and so on. Some of the ultrasound pics arent so good it kinda seemed like the ultrasound guy was rushing through it that would probobly be my only complaint but how can i even be mad shes going to be precious!!!

November 13th

Well for the last few weeks ive really been feeling her move around... its such a weird feeling but a beautiful one. I'm reallly starting to show now theres no denying the fact i am pregnant not that id want to deny such a beautiful thing.. i couldnt be at a better place in the pregnancy.. no headaches no migrains no real discomfort.. some when im trying to fall asleep ( im just not used to sleeping on my side, i used to be a stomich sleeper so it shard to get used to )... however my sex life is suffering... i'm starting to not feel as close to my fiance as i was before we went from having sex a few times a week to mybe once every 2 weeks... he says pregnant sex is weird he hates the thought of the baby 'watching' or knowing whats going on... and its sooo hard to convince him its normal... anyways im starting to feel distant from him... some nights ive been soo frustrated ive slept on the couch... now this......i have no clue what to do about it. ?????

December 29th 2007

wow time really is going along now... i cant belive im already over 6 and a half months! She is moving around like crazy sometimes i just sit and feel her moving wondering what shes doing in there... i had a great christmas with my fiance but probobly going to have a boring new years probobly but thats ok i dont mind. From our last big issue that i had has been resolved.. i was actually kinda feeling sorry for myself thinking it was all me but really women dont relize there is alot of pressure on men too... and i was only adding to that pressure by complaining about it. So how did i resolve this issue?? I JUST TAKE IT WHEN I WANT IT... he never complains never says no i get what i want so does he with no pressure so its a win win situation... and if theres any women out there that were going through the same thing i would tell you to do the same thing. JUST TAKE IT :>:>

January 11th 2008!!

alright so im feeling HUGE and looking it too .. as u can tell from my most recent picture.. all my doctors apts have been good so far.. except ive been gaining too much weight.. ive alread gained 35 POUNDS :s i know its kinda bad but u know what im not going to stress about it at all... its just more i have to loose when shes out.. my weight gain is probobly part of the reason my im already in so much pain... night time is the worse and after work... but i gave my 2 weeks and my last day is the 25th... LADIES SOME ADVICE... dont waitress after 30 weeks... i come home and my hip hurts my back hurts my feet ache... i honestly feel kinda OLD ... o ya and my ribs ache just add it on to the growing list of aches and pains ive been getting.... i kinda hate to say it but im not enjoying the pregnancy right now...i do when i can feeel her moving around and shes not beating up my ribs but im so achey that i want it to be over soon... :<... but as everyone keps telling me... it'll all be worth it when i see my little angels face

January 31st 2008

well im not as achey as i was before.. i guess the waitressing was just too much on my body to take... all my prenatal apts. have been going very well.. exept for weight gain... ive gained 40 pounds with 6 left!!!! im excersizing and eating right so im not quite sure why ive gained so much... im not that concerned about it tho as long as my baby girl is healthy... the only real change i could tell u right now is i am extremley lethargic! this last week i hav just been soooo sleepy, its also been really crappy weather so that could be a factor in why im so tired too.. were getting final touches done on the babies room and still have ALOT more stuff that we need... dresser/change table, stroller, playpen/ bassinet, a play chair theres lots more were getting this weekand.... i alo have my baby shower next weekand which is super exciting i really wanted to helpplan it so it can be fun for everyone... im making momosas for everyone to drink ( champaige and orange juice) mine will just be O.J lol fancy little sandwiches and funny gift bags for everyone... im really excited i cant wait... anyways ill write more after my baby shower to update everyone

O and i think we decided on a name..............

Ava ROSE Loren <3

Feb 28th 2008

Well ladies i have 2 weeks to go til my due date! I cant believe im already 38 weeks... she was conciderd full term last week so i would be more than happy if she came tonight! lol My next prenatal apt is tomorrow so im going to ask the doc how much longer he thinks...

im pretty much all set for her arrival, her nurseries done, i have all the necessities except a stroller which i will be getting next week and mentally i think im as prepared as u can be.........

Well latley ive been feeling big i mean really big... its getting so uncomfortable. Even though she has dropped i feel like the pressure hasnt completley came off my lungs theres just added pressure to my bladder now. Ive gained a whoping 50 pounds total but i dont think im going ot be gaining anymore.. i get really full after i eat now but im still always hungry... lol and also even though i tried absloutly everything in the book to avoid getting stretch marks.. olive oil, cocanut oil, palmers cocoa butter and everything else ive been told... there are some starting to show on my stomich... a small preice to pay for a beautiful baby girl i guess... and today was actually very weird instead of waking up and starting off sluggish i woke up with a load of energy, walked the dog for an hour, cleaned my house like a mad woman lol and remarkably still had energy ( before i got tired just vacuming downstairs) i guess if its true what everyone is tlling me im nesting now and it shouldnt be much longer... so heres hoping maybe my next entery will be to tell u shes here....

March 25th 2008

Im soo happy to announce the birth of my daughter AVA ROSE LOREN born on march 14th 2008 at 7:18 p.m ... after ONLY 21 hours of labour... more to come...

BIRTH STORY

so lets start off with march 13th (her due date) and my 40 week mark. I get into the doctors office and he told me imnot dialated at all and my cervix hasn't softened. I was sooooo frustrated when he told me this i felt like it was going to take forever!.. he told me he was going to do a membrane sweep (basically when they scratch your cervix to soften it) he says 50% of the time it helps speed things up! it was VERY uncomfotable but i said sweep away doc! lol ... i go home and a few hours later i had mild cramps ... yes it did feel like period cramps... i was talking to my girlfriend who has a baby, around 6 oclock, and i got a very bad cramp and had to stop talking for a bit to breathe it out... she said JESSICA YOUR IN LABOUR THATS NOT CRAMPS U IDIOT! between lauphing and wincing in pain i decided to start timing them... they were aproximatly 30 minutes apart so it was still very early...(and it is difficult to try and do things to keep your mind off of them but very necessary!) around 9 oclock they started coming more regular and much more painful ... i waited it out until 12 oclock when they were 6 minutes apart and lasting 30 -45 seconds before i couldnt take it ... off to the hospital to do a few tests see how dialated i was, how far apart, and how bad the contractions were... well i was only 1.5 cm dialated and about 50 % effaced which was great to hear concidering i was completley closed up 12 hours earlier... so they shot me in the bum with demerol to help me go home and get some rest and i was told to come back when the contractions were unbearable, my water broke, or i lost my mucas plug... i couldnt sleep through the contractions at all... all the demerol did was make it easier to breathe through them. At 9 oclock in the morning march 14th i went to the bathroom and had some of the mucas plug come out... it wasnt pink it was RED thats how u'll know.... anyways 11 am and to the hospital i go again... the entire time i was there they gave me another demoral shot right in the butt to help me through it when it started to get very bad.... it help relax me again but did nothing to ease the pain... 5p.m the nurse checked to see how dialated i was and my water broke right then!!! while she was checking!! lol .... from then on the contractions were UNBEARABLE!!! i was 8.5 cm dialated and i was BEGGING for an epidural at this point... i wasn't planning on having one, but i will tell anyone who says there not planning on getting one to leave that option open because it is extremley painful... HOWEVER i am soooo glad i didnt get one and i made it through the pain... by 6p.m my doctor made it there and i was ready to go! pushing was easier than dealing with the contractions because when they came u could push through them, as opossed to trying to breathe through them... it took an hour and 18 minutes to push through them and i was past the point of exhaustion ( they were literally minutes away from cutting me open down there to get her out). I was at th epoint i just couldnt take it anymore, they tried getting her out with a vacuum that didnt work, but when they said ok lets cut her open i said HOLD ON ONE MORE TRY so on my last major efforts she came out, and it was painful and magical and i would do it all over again in a heartbeat... nothing beats that feeling of when they finally put her in my arms the exhaustion was gone and there she was! i did it thats all i could think i did it! .... and with no tears no rips and no epidural..

since then my fiance mike has been great im back to feeling like my old self... i was after the first week and its been a semi easy adjustment she does wake up 3 times a night for feedings which is very tiring bu tthe only thing i can say is rest in the day when uca... if ur anything like me u want to get things done when shes sleeping laundry dishes ect... but trust me that stuf can wait rest and enjoy it because even in the 11 days shes been born ive already wathed her change so much!

Ava ROSE Loren <3
my beautiful baby girl

CONGRATS TO ALL THE MOMMAS OUT THERE... THERES NOTHING LIKE IT!!!