My name is Shoua and I have been married for 10 years. I got married at a very young age and life sure put me through a roller coaster ride. But here I am, still standing somewhat strong and mostly happy in my marriage. I have a beautiful 6 year old daughter and at the moment, we are TTC. Been trying for almost 3 years and recently had a M/C on Mother's Day. It's been a rough experience and now we're back on the horse TTC again.

June 10, 08

One more day will mark the 1st month of my M/C. My heart still aches whenever I think about it. AF has been here for 4 days now. I feel like I'm ready to start TTC again. I know that I ought to wait for another month or two before I start trying again but it just feels right. My family and I have been longing for a baby and I'm sure not getting any younger. Only 3 more days of school and then summer break. I can't wait. I'm planning on taking care of myself so that I can conceive and hopefully to term this time.

June 15, 08

I'm on CD 9 and anxiously waiting for the big "O" day. I'm nervous about the whole situation of TTC. Who knows how long it'll take before I actually conceive :(. Can't lose hope though.

June 23, 08

Woothoo! CD 15 today. Only a few more days til "O" day. Going to start Bdcing every night. Lucky DH. LOL . I've been jogging for the past week and I'm not sure how it'll effect my O.

June 27, 08

Well I'm currently on CD 20. Had some weird symptoms. Yesterday had a little spotting. I'm wondering if it could be some implantation bleeding. I also had cramping after BDcing. Then, I was constipated and felt bloated. I'm typically on a 35 to 42 days cycle and AF came 27 days after my m/c. I wasn't expecting her. Anyways, I can't seem to get a clear picture of my "O" day. I took two OPK this week and basically said I wasn't ovulating. I'm wondering if I missed my "O" day. According to the ovulation calendar, I should test next week. I'm so nervous. On Wednesday, I went to see my OB/GYN and he basically said my cyst was not a problem. In fact, my cyst should be gone now because he assumes it was a Corpus Luteum Cyst. It comes and goes with every cycle and with preganancy, it sticks around a bit longer. He said I could start ttc.

July 10, 08

I've been so busy these past 2 weeks. I had relatives over and then two more days of choas until I have my home back. I'm on CD 34 and getting frustrated. I've had 2 BFN and 3 days ago got signs of fertile CM. I'm now wondering if I just ovulated late??????? Beats me! I'm just discouraged now. I know AF is just around the corner. Especially with my mood swings. Meh my mood swings are sure in full blast this week. Just waiting on that witch to come so we can get over it and start a new cycle.

July 12, 08

I'm on CD 36. No signs of AF and I believe I just got finish ovulating. My bb would be sore by now even if AF was coming. Wierd!

July 13, 08

BFN! I knew it wasn't going to be a (+).

July 14, 08

Well it's been 6dpo and I'm on CD38. AF should be here anyday now since I ovulated soooooo late. No symptoms at all indicating AF nor BFP. I'm going to wait until the end of the month to test (if AF doesn't come). If it's not a (+) I'm going to take a break. It's been bothersome not knowing when my BFP will happen. I've been so depress and honest to God, I've never been so obsess about TTC after my M/C. I went to bed crying last night and so emotional. Seems so hard to deal with this frustration. Plus, this morning I had a dream that I took a HPT and got my BFP. With dreams like this, it's because I'm looking too much into the situation and I'm only gonna get the opposite. I guess I just wanted it soooo bad and seems like many girls I know are just popping out babies with a snap of a finger. I'll be taking a break after I get AF. I've been on this website since April and it's become an addiction.

July 15, 08

Had another dream about my BFP. What a tease. No AF yet.

July 17, 08

Still no AF and 8 dpo. I am still not experiencing any early symptoms of AF. I can't believe how long my cycles are.

July 19, 08

ARGH! Damn it! What is taking AF so damn long? I feel like crying :(. I'm now on CD43 and 10DPO. Still got a BFN this morning and now feeling AF cramps with lots of gas. I can't take this anymore!

July 22, 08

AF showed her face yesterday afternoon. It's been light compared to last month's cycle. I'm taking some of MIL's herbal remedies. Not sure if it's gonna work but at this point, I'm almost willing to try anything. Back to CD 2.