July 24 2008

Okay! so I don't know what happened to my lil girl the other night but she was back to normal last night....Yayyyyyy! :o)

She went to sleep at about 7.30pm (which is unsual considering she usually doesn't go to sleep til about 10.30) she woke a couple of times but I just picked her up and snuggled her for a couple of mins and she fell back to sleep and I put her down again :o) She slept right until about 9.30am :o)

She's been great all day. Sooooooo happy to have my happy, content snugglebunny back! :o)

July 23 2008

Yesterday & last night was sooooo difficult for me (probably the most emotionally challenging since she's been born). My baby would cry everytime I would put her down.

I don't understand because as soon as I picked her up she was all smiles and laughs but when I put her down she just cried. It started with a whinge, which lead to cry which ended up with a screaming fit loud enough to wake a deaf man in Africa.

The most difficult and emotional thing for me was the fact that I got to the point where I didn't like my baby *sob-sob* I tried with all my heart to go to my happy place and pray but I think I just got too overwhelmed :o( I think the fact that I don't have support or anyone to turn to at that time of night/morning makes it unbelieveably difficult and makes me feel so alone!

We finally snuggled up on the couch at 4am approx and fell asleep together. She just seemed to want to be held all the time and I Love my angel with all my heart but I need 'my time' even if it's just a couple of hours....I'm the happiest mum in the world if I get my couple of hours of 'my-time' in the day!!!

My girl's been quite good today. I admit that I still feel bad about the way I felt but I just hope my baby & god can forgive me for feeling that way.

I think this site and all the AMAZING mums on here actually helped sooooooooo much!!! "Thank you to all you beautiful Mums for your support!"

My princess is 15.4weeks today

Hello Everybody

Hope you are all well and happy and enjoying pregnancy or mummyhood. I'm in my 18th week and am so happyyyyy to be here..ecstatic actually (ok-ok, so maybe there are no words to describe how truly happy i am..but those will do for now). It seems like it's taken forever to get to this week but I love my angel soooooooo very much and i can't wait to meet her in person :o) ...she's going to be the best birthday present EVER!!! (my birthday is 6 days after my due date)..YAY!!!

About me:

Well..i'm 31, single and so happy to be a 1st-time mummy2b. 4 years ago i had a brain tumor removed, a few weeks later i was whooshed back to the hospital because i had to have a shunt inserted for my newly discovered hydrocephalus. during that time one of the doctors told me i would never be able to have children..i was sad but took it on the chin and buried the hurt away deep inside.

A few months ago i discovered i was pregnant, i could not believe it! I was happy but i didn't want to get too happy because after thinking for years that you can't have children....you start to believe that maybe that's the way it's going to stay. especially when you hear all the docs saying the first 12 weeks are the most difficult...why can't they just be positive? why do they have to share the worst-case scenerios? hmmmmm? anyways..i'm 18 weeks now and still can't be totally 500% happy. I'm just scared that if i get my hopes up..things might go wrong..i know that's not exactly good but it's scarey!

My Angel.. Jannige Atianui

I'm naming my baby-girl after her mummy :o) actually the whole name covers 5 generations (maybe more). I love my baby girl with all my heart and i can't wait to meet her.

I'm really nervous about my lil angel after everything 'medically' i've been through, so if you could PLEASE cross your fingers and toes, pray, wish or whatever else that will bring positive energy to me and my baby....please do it. Thank you :o)

Take Care Everyone and I wish you all the VERY best!!!

Wednesday, 14 Nov

Saturday, 17 Nov

Tuesday, 27 Nov

Wednesday, 28 Nov

*Does happy dance* i've been to my 20 week scan today and my baby seems to be happy and healthy...yipppeeeee!!! however, found out today that the baby boy i 'thought' i was going to have is actually a girl!!! I'm a bit sad because i feel like i've lost my boy..but i'm sooooo happy that my baby is doing great and that's all that REALLY matters to me!!! I know it sounds weird to say it feels like i've lost my son when i never really had him, BUT..for the last few months i honestly thought i was having a boy!..i had his name ready, i could see him and i thought i could feel 'HIM'. but please don't get me wrong I love my baby-girl with EVERYTHING i have/with all my heart & soul! i just hope she knows that and understands my temporary sadness. I wish i could add pics of her but the scanner didn't do a very good job as far as letting me see my baby move or getting decent pics. Well, that's that for now. Thank you for reading. Keep smiling and stay beautiful! (((hugs))))

Saturday, 8 Dec

Yayyyy, I just turned 22 weeks today and am sooooooo happyyyy. My baby's kicking more often and it's the BESTEST feeling..EVER!!! it really is a HUGE peace of mind to feel her moving around. I have my meeting at the hospital this week (not exactly sure why, i think it may be for my hydro) Keep smiling and stay beautiful everyone ((((hugs))))

Tuesday, 11 Dec

Well the last couple of days i've been stressing out!!! haven't really felt my baby move. However!!!.. just got back from my doc and she had a doppler so i got to hear my babys' heartbeat AND a kick (which i didn't feel)..such a relief!!! I'm on 'Cloud 10,089' lol. doc said my angel could just be turned around towards my back. i'm sooooo hap-hap-happyyyyyy! Keep smiling and thank you for reading everyone (((hugs))))

Thursday, 13 Dec

Saturday, 15 Dec

23 Weeks today..YAY!!! So glad to be here but i don't really feel any different. hopefully my baby will be kicking alot more from now on (or at least soon). And i'm supposed to ring the hospital on Monday to find out when my scan is(to confirm my babys' heart condition). I wish it's going to be next week. (((hugs)))) p.s to all the fabulous & Amazing people who have sent me encouraging & supportive thoughts and comments...."Thank You with all my heart!!!" ((((hugs))))

Tuesday, 18 Dec

Tuesday, 25 Dec

Your eyes might be brown,Your eyes might be blue,
My imagination runs wild..with images of you.
Your hands & your feet,How small they must be,
When you`re placed in my arms...Whose face will I see?.
I'm being blessed with an angel....a beauitful girl,
I can't wait for the day that you're placed into my world.
My small baby girl so precious and sweet,
You've been sent into my life ....to make me complete.

Thursday, 27 Dec

Hi to all you beautiful mummy `s. I just got back from my scan and they couldn `t get the `best ` shot of my babys ` heart (she was lying in a funny position) BUT they got a view of the heart and said they couldn `t see any sign of a hole and if there is one it `s VERY small!! She said the babys ` measurements are all great for 24 weeks ANDDDD...it `s definitely a.. *drum roll please*....GIRL!!! I `m sooooooooo happy!! I `ve cried a few happy tears today but that `s good. I go back to scan her heart in Feb. Thank You sooooooooo very much to all you `AMAZING ` people who have sent encourging, supportive & inspiring comments...You truly are the reason for me being so hopeful!.. `Thank You `! Keep smiling, stay beautiful and take care everyone. (((hugs)))

Saturday, 29 Dec

Saturday, 5 Jan

**enters doing happyyyyy dance** Okay beautiful Mums & Munchkins..so I'm 26 weeks and `wooohooooo! ` only 14 weeks to go. Can't wait to see my beautiful lil angel...I Looooooovvvve her sooooo very muchly!!! I haven't bought any baby stuff yet, will start next week! My baby's moving way more and it's difficult to express but it's the most 'AMAZING' feeling Ever!!!!! **Thank You for reading** Keep smiling, stay beautiful and take care Everyone! (((hugs)))))

Monday, 7 Jan

Hi to all you beautiful Mums. Just want to say "Au revoir & all the very VERY best!!!" I'm no longer going to have access to the internet as of tomorrow afternoon.

I've had so many 'AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL' mums send me inspiring, hopeful, thoughtful, caring, supportive comments...and to those people I will never be able to express how truely thankful I am!!! You gave me so much Hope! Comfort! Confidence! and reassurance!...especially when I needed it most!

I wish ALL of you beautiful mums a safe & easy labour and most of all that your lil munchkins are delivered into this world happyyyy & healthy - ready to live a long, happy, healthy & prosperous life!!! With all my heart & soul... "Thank You" Keep smiling, stay beautiful and take care ((((((hugs))))))

Tuesday, 8 Jan

** Last Message **

Keep smiling, stay beautiful and take care Everyone
((((big hugs)))) .... **leaves doing happy dance**