ABOUT ME

I am 24 and live with my fiance Chris, 28 in Cramlington. We have been together for 7 years and have lived together for 4 years! We got a puppy at Christmas and thought that was enough for now so when I found out I was pregnant at Easter it was a SHOCK to say the least! After three tests I still didn't want to believe as I still feel like a child myself! Somehow I have managed to give up smoking and drinking but I must admit I miss it! Chris on the other hand hasn't changed his ways yet but who can blame him? To him nothing is different ... yet!

So in a nutshell when jelly bean is born I will have to cope with a newborn and a puppy! Holly will be 1 on November 7th just before jelly bean is due and hopefully won't be as hyper! I have already noticed a change in her and she is calming down a lot, the only time she is in hyper mode is when people come over, she is very clingy and just likes to snuggle up to her mamma and dadda!! (sad I know but at least we're already used to calling each other it)

We are still hoping to have a week away before jelly bean arrives and had luckily already decided to stay in this country so we could take Holly with us! So glad I have managed to have plenty holidays with Chris, we have been to the Caribbean the past three years so can't complain too much!

One of my downfalls is that I am a very negative person and always thinks and expect the worst, I worry about everything as you never know what can happen, me and Chris never leave each other on bad terms and always say "I love you" even after being together for so long, some people call it soppy but we never want to change, we are very close and lovey dovey!!! Anyway my point was I am a worrier and can't wait until I am past my 20 week scan so I can enjoy my pregnancy! Also can't wait to find out the sex so we can have a bright pink or blue nursery - no offence to anyone but I don't like cream/lemon/beige nurseries, I want a bright and stimulating room for my baby!!

Jelly bean will be the fourth grandchild on my side of the family but the first in Chris's! My sister had Lyla Catherine on the 24th June 2006, my brother had Ethan Thomas on the 13th October 2006 and his second baby is due in July! We have been warned to slow down by my mam as she will end up skint!!

WEEK 11 (Friday 2nd May)

Had my scan on Monday the 28th and I think it is finally starting to sink in! I originally thought I was about 13 weeks but the measurements put me back to 11 weeks 4 days on Monday so by now i am 12 weeks! Chris couldn't stop smiling and neither could I!! Jelly bean was so lively and was jumping around the screen all the time! Still I will feel better once I am a bit further on in the pregnancy.

They did show me a cyst on my left ovary which explains the sharp pains I sometimes get with certain movements, coughs, sneezes etc always on my left side! Apparently it is nothing to worry about and won't harm jelly bean which is good. They are just going to monitor the size during my scans but they said they usually get smaller during the course of pregnancy and at worst would do another scan after the birth to check things out.

WEEK 13 (Monday 12th May)

Looking forward to the pregnancy "glow" everyone keeps talking about. So far I have more spots than ever, never used to get ANY so I am hating this! Feeling sooo PALE aswell, this is probably the longest I have ever gone without sunbeds and I feel a mess!! I have tried all the "summer body" creams and seem to be allergic to something they put in them because so far the Johnsons, Dove and Garnier ones brought me out in a rash across my chest, behind me knees and the creases of my elbows....it was horrible but scratching it was HEAVEN!! Have given up now and will have to get used to being natural...but at least I am doing it for the right reasons!

You may call me mad but I think I got a little insight today of what it feels like to be a mam! I had to drop my puppy off at the vets to have her sedated for a deep skin scraping!! I seriously felt like CRYING when I had to leave her and even left a little goodie bag with a blanket (with her smell on it) a teddy, a teething bone and some food in case she got hungry once she woke up! We couldn't feed her from 6 pm yesterday and I felt so cruel when having my breakfast this morning!! Any how I couldn't help ringing the vets after dinner to see how she was and they said she was fine, I am soooo looking forward to collecting her after work! I may have to spoil her a little with lots of cuddles!

WEEK 14 (Monday 19th May)

Just a little one as I dont want to sound like a moaning minnie since most of you have probably heard this all before from me in messages but anyways....all is fine and dandy apart from my moods mainly with Chris! I still think he should be more understanding and considerate esp at weekends when he just wants to have a few cans and play on FIFA! I dont expect him to stop drinking at all, would never ask that of him but he thinks I'm being selfish when I complain! Instead of causing more and more tension in our relationship which is exactly the opposite of what I want to happen when I'm pregnant, I'm gona be (or at least try to be) a new woman - cool, calm and collective!! If I feel an outburst coming I will go and meditate!! lol Well not sure thats totally for me but will definately turn a blind eye and try to control my so called "attitude" and "dirty looks/scowls" that I am supposed to have!

Alternative - throw the xbox 360 out the living room window?? Well.....that's not really an option unless I want to sleep in the spare room for a while!!

WEEK 16 (Wednesday 4th June)

Well I think I will be in week 17 tomorrow so just a quick one to mention that I went to see my new midwife on Monday and I thought she was bloody SHITE! Wish I could stay with Rachel who I saw in April for my first appointment and blood tests etc as she was great. When Rachel took my blood for the usual rubella etc tests it was the first time I had given blood and I was sooo nervous (hate needles)! She was brilliant and I only felt a tiny prick at first and there was no mark afterwards! Because I had moved to Cramlington with my gorgeous fiance I was no longer in the "catchment area" for my Whitley Bay Doctors for when the midwifes do home visits after the birth. Because of this Rachel recommended I change to a local Doctor and get a new midwife. So anyways met my new midwife on Monday for my 16 week check and bloods and she made a right mess of my left arm. At first she said my vein had "bounced" but then she said she had it but couldnt get much blood and half a tube would have to do! She then pressed on the needle sooo hard before taking it out which I found odd and thats when the pain started. I know they say to put pressure on afterwards to stop bruising but surely not while the needle is still in my arm!! I then got to heartbeat of the baby which was fabulous for the whole 10 seconds it lasted. She didnt even give me a chance to listen properly as I was going to record it on my mobile for my other half (who couldnt make it) or tell me how fast it was which alot of people seem to find out on here!! Afterwards when my arm was still throbbing I looked down to see a big blue golf ball on my arm!! When I showed her she seemed to panic slightly and got a bit flustered as she said it must have ruptured and just to apply pressure and it would "right" itself. She strapped a piece of cottonwool on my arm and sent me on my way! I assume that when she pushed on the needle it pushed it out the other side of my vein, stupid bloody midwife...I want my old one back now!!

She was a bit blunt and didnt seem to have the time of day for me which is upsetting when your having your first baby and meeting your midwife for the first time, it may be an everyday job for them but for us it is sooo important and I hope she proves me wrong at my next visit. I want to be able to put my trust in my midwife and this experience (however small it may seem) has totally ruined the memory of hearing Jellybeans heartbeat for the first time because now I feel that I can hardly remember what it sounded like! At least I can ignore some housework for a while since my arm is still painful, can hardly carry heavy things or straighten it properly! Got a cracking bruise (well three actually) coming up too!

WEEK 19 (Monday 23rd June)

Since I haven't updated for a few weeks here goes...my bump was starting to get more noticable so I bought my first maternity clothes two Thursdays ago, I love them, sooo comfy! Since then I don't feel like I have grown much at all even though I am still eating loads! Somehow between me and Chris last week went through two loafs of bread and nearly 8 pints of milk!!!??? God knows how but I have been having bran flakes every morning and a massive bowl of coco pops every night for supper, also been taking a pint of milk to bed with strawberry flavour Crusha (LUSH) but by the time I drink it I can hardly move or lie down! Have been feeling small movements for a few weeks now which started off like little flutters or when you get that nervous butterfly feeling, sometimes it was like popping bubbles too which was weird! Now I can feel proper little kicks but they are sooo faint still I have to be sitting quietly (rare for me) to notice them and they aren't very regular either, sometimes I don't even notice any all day so I can't help but press gently around my tummy and I think once it worked and I felt baby do a tiny kick!! Yay!! Still can't wait til I am further on and can feel baby more often and Chris can feel too.

On a different subject my scan is ONE WEEK TODAY!!! Wooooo!! I cannot stop thinking about it and can't wait to see jb jumping around on the screen again! At first I was adament that I wanted to find out the sex but thought I should tell you all I am having second thoughts....I have been talking to quite a few people who have told me their experiences and I think I would like the surprise, also a few people have friends that were told the sex but they got it wrong and because they had washed all the little outfits for the hospital they couldn't return anything! This doesn't worry me too much as clothes aren't too expensive but I was planning on going all out and getting pink/blue changing mat, cot bumper, mobile etc etc and I personally don't think I want to take that risk now! I know it is rare but with my luck it probably would happen to me!! lol Next step is to convince Chris too coz he really wanted to know the sex from the start but I think since I am growing jb in my tummy that I should get the last say and if I don't want to know then neither can he coz he would just wind me up all the time!!! Now I need to look for a unisex nursery range that isn't too boring.... I suppose there's plenty time to have pink/blue room when they are growing up so I'm sure I'll manage!!

ANYWAYS BEST OF LUCK TO EVERYONE WHO WILL BE GETTING THEIR 20 WEEK SCAN SOON AND I WILL UPDATE YOU ALL ON TUESDAY AFTER MINE!! XXX

WEEK 20 (Wednesday 2nd July)

Well I had my scan on Monday and my little jellybean is doing just fine, well no longer looks like a jellybean as this time we got to see arms, legs, hands and even a cute bum (must take after her mammy lol) Yes I said HER mammy....its a GIRL lol Was sooo sure it was a boy and although I feel terrible I think I was a little upset coz I had convinced myself it was a little boy but now I am sooo happy my little princess if fit and healthy!! We were told that we have a very active baby as she would not stay still for all the measurements lol Was kind of hoping she would be lazy and chilled like me!! Obviously takes after her daddy coz apparently he was a right little shit when he was a baby :D :D hehe

On Sunday while eating marmite on toast my baby started kicking loads so I was just looking down at my tum and I saw it move, it was only a little bit but happened more than once, it sort of looked like a big pulse the way my skin jumped out lol!! After that I got straight on the phone to Chris coz I have been determined to get him to feel a kick and I knew they must getting stronger for me to have seen it! Anyways last night in bed he felt a kick!! Yay!! We were lying watching a DVD and I felt a big kick so I asked him to put his hand on to see if she would kick again...then as soon as I felt a big kick I looked up at Chris and he had a huge smile on his face and said he felt it!!! He said it was hard to explain and it was weird but in a good way lol :o) He was determined to get another kick out of her and I even did a bit prodding but she was having none of it the cheeky monkey :P so after a while he gave up as his arm was going numb!!!

21 WEEKS TOMORROW - PROBABLY WONT UP DATE FOR A WHILE AS MY WEEKS ARE STARTING TO GET A BIT LIKE STORIES AND NO ONE IS PROBABLY EVEN INTERESTED!!!! XXXXOOOOXXXX