My Pregnancy Journal....

8/28/08 - I am 6 weeks pregnant. I'm 36 and this is my first pregnancy. We ultimately had to do IVF to get pregnant. Luckily it worked the first time! Since my pregnancy test, I've had spotting on and off. While it's easy to worry about this, I'm doing my best to stay positive. A collegue has told me about "the Secret" which is to ask, believe and receive. And since I've adopted the secret, it's worked. My spotting is very light to almost non-existent, so I'm not so concerned. Especially because my HCG #s keep going up. Tomorrow I will have my second u/s. The first u/s last week showed 1 embryo. The tech said that it could be possible that there is more than one and should be able to tell for sure in tomorrow's u/s. (3 embryos were transferred in IVF).

So far, I haven't had any nausea...except today. I had some spicy food for lunch and almost immediately after lunch threw up...the nausea came on so fast. Afterwards felt fine (and still do.) Guess I need to avoid spicy food.

8/29/08 - Went to the dr today, had an u/s, and saw not 1, not 2, but 3 embryos! I have to say I was not expecting that at all! I even saw the heartbeats. So now I am convinced that one must be careful when using the secret. I asked for twins and I got triplets!

The dr says that triplets would be very risky for me and that I should consider eliminating 1. He also said that sometimes 1 won't survive on its own. We will wait and see how things look in my 8th or 9th week before making a decision. And I must say this isn't a decision I thought I would have to make, as well a decision that I dread making. But all in all this is very exciting news!

8/31/08 - Well nausea has finally set in. Hit me last night with a vengeance. Was throwing up until I was dry-heaving. Still feeling nauseous today, but not as bad as last night. I called the dr about it and he prescribed zyrtec. It's an antihistamine, but he says it works great for nausea. Just took my first pill, so we'll see.

10/3/07 - It's been a while. Had a very hard decision to make, but we are going to have the reduction. Going from 3 - 2, so if all goes well, we will have twins. I had a very involved myomectomy surgery last summer to have a fibroid removed and because of this, I have a large scar on my uterus. This makes having triplets extremely risky for me. Worst case scenario, my uterus could tear, and I could lose all 3 and lose my uterus. My ob/gyn said she has actually seen this happen. I had my reservations about coming back to this site and writing about this because I know so many have strong feelings against reductions. The reality is that this was in no way an easy decision for me and my husband. It took a while for me to find my peace. I've asked our loved ones in heaven to take care of the little one who will be leaving us and so I know this little baby of ours will be well cared for and loved.

10/8/07 - Well, I'll be starting week 12 this week...almost to the end of my first trimester, but I'm still not in the clear. The reduction is scheduled for next week. I had a bit of a scare last week. Started spotting again and passed a large clump of tissue, so went back to the dr and had an u/s. I thought perhaps one of the embryos had possibly gone on its own. In many ways, I was wishing for that since that would be more natural and then I wouldn't have to go through the reduction. But that was not the case. All 3 are still doing fine, which makes the impending reduction even worse. At the time of the reduction, the specialist will do a nuchal translucency, an anatomical survey and measure the amount of amniotic fluid of each. That is how he will decide which one. After the reduction there is a 4% risk of miscarriage. My drs say that the risks of having all 3 far outweigh the small risk of miscarriage. I talked to my aunt the other day. She is always receiving signs from my grandmother up in heaven. She said that my grandmother will guide me through this process. At least that is of some comfort.

10/12/07 - So here I am in my 12th week and I get hit hard with heartburn and indigestion. Yuk! It was so bad one night that it kept me up all night - no sleep and then vomiting the next day. I've never had heartburn before--not much fun at all. Seems to have died down a bit now and I'm feeling better. I still can't say I feel great...hoping that 2nd trimester will be better. It will be nice to get the desire to cook again. I stopped cooking around my 6th week. (and I normally love to cook). Food is just so weird to me now, and I just can't tolerate prepping and cooking...it's so strange. Been surviving on frozen meals and fresh fruit (one of my cravings...mmm, think I could go for an orange now). The other thing I crave is carbs...love em. The office cafeteria has been coming in handy as well. My husband...I love him dearly, but he can't cook to save his life. Well, the one thing he can make is a really good grilled cheese sandwich. Anyway, I'm starting to feel nervous about the reduction next week. I just need to stay positive...that is how I wound up getting pregnant -- positive thinking! And IVF. I just hate that this even has to happen. When I tell people now that I'm pregnant, I tell them I am having twins (b/c I'm showing already). And then I feel guilty, like I'm betraying the 3rd one. I know that they (the babies) all know that I love them. I tell them everyday. And I know that my grandma is standing by ready to take the 3rd one under her wing (b/c I know my grandma is an angel up there in heaven.)

11/16/07 - It's been a while....lost my pw and just finally figured it out. Things are going well. I graduated from my RE and now I see my regular OB once/month and as well, I will start seeing a high risk OB once/month...however the dr I'm supposed to see doesn't accept my insurance...long story short, I'm switching ins cos with my employer. My new ins which will start Jan 1 is accepted by both my OB and high risk Dr....but what an ordeal! In the meantime, I will have to travel an hour to get ultrasounds. Have a level 2 u/s scheduled for the end of this month...can't wait to see the little guys! Oh yes...they're boys! The tech who did the u/s for the reduction could tell the genders. My husband and I are having a difficult deciding on names. We just don't agree on anything.

It's so nice to be in the 2nd trimester. I feel so much better, and I can cook again! I'm so eager to feel the babies kicking...sometimes, I think I feel something, but I don't know if it's just gas. My sister is now ttc...I hope she doesn't wind up with the problems that I had and gets pregnant quickly!

11/28/07 - Had a level 2 u/s today. Got to see my little baby boys--They are so cute. It's so neat to see them moving around. And I'm starting to feel them too. I don't feel the flutters that everyone talks about, but definately am feeling little pokes and kicks. I just can't wait to see them in person!

12/14/07 - Well, I went back to the high risk dr on Wednesday and got some unexpected news. My cervix is shortening, which is an indication of premature labor. The dr asked if I was having contractions, and then hooked me up to this machine that measures contractions. I was totally freaked out, but luckily am not having contractions. So the dr put me on bed rest. I really want to carry my babies to as close to full term as I can...I hope I don't go super early. After all I'm only 21 weeks now! The little ones are so active...I feel them moving frequently. I just really wanted things to go well for the rest of the pregnancy...hopefully it will all be ok!

12/20/07 - Went back to the high risk dr again today and my cervix is the same as last week, which is good. The dr says its still a little short, but at least is hasn't gotten any shorter, and it also doesn't open when pressing down on my abdomen, which is good. So I'm still on bed rest for now. Babies heart rates are good. Baby B was really kicking at the membrane during the u/s...they are sooo cute!

Here's a pic of my belly at 22 weeks:



Happy Holidays!!!


12/29/07 - I'm now in my 23rd week. Went back to the high risk dr (going weekly now), and my cervix has shortened a little more. I'm trying to stay positive, but this was definately upsetting news. Went to my regular OB yesterday and she helped to make me feel better. She says that I just have to get through this critical time, so bed rest is really important. I really hope I can carry these babies for 12 more weeks. Seems like such a long time! The little ones are doing great. They are both weigh over a pound now and are both head down.

My mother stayed with me for the past week which was really nice. She helped out so much around the house cleaning and cooking. I was so sad to say goodbye to her when she left yesterday. She lives over 3 hrs away, but she will be moving closer when she retires in the fall. It will be so nice to have her closer. We had a very nice Christmas holiday...received some really cute and useful presents for the babies. Next we'll have to get started on the babies room (well my husband will.) Hope everyone has a very Happy New Year!

1/5/08 - Well toward the end of my 24th week now. On Monday, my OB called me. She said she'd had a conversation with the high risk dr and both agreed that I should get 2 steroid injections of Betamethasone this week to help advance the babies lung development. This is just a precaution in case I go into preterm labor. So yesterday I had my second injection (in the buttocks). I thought that since I'd gone through IVF and had the progesterone shots, etc that these shots would be no big deal, but man--they really hurt! Not complaining though...whatever has to be done to help the babies is all that matters. The dr also said that if I don't go into preterm labor these injections will not harm the babies.

Next week I will switch to my new high risk dr, and I'm so thrilled about that for several reasons: He's so much closer to me (no more traveling for 1.5 hrs), I've heard really good things about him and he is the only dr in his practice, so I will get to see him each time I go. The place where I've been going contains a group of high risk drs. Mainly I've seen only 2 different drs there, but this week I had a new dr who was awful! He was in such a rush and acted like my cervix issue wasn't a big deal at all. He was trying to rush out the door after measuring my cervix and my husband and I were still trying to ask him questions. I'm so glad I don't have to go back there.
Anyway, I'm working on getting more belly pics posted to my page...hope to have them up soon.

1/10/08 - Went to my new high risk dr yesterday. Had an u/s. Both of my boys are doing well. Baby B was sucking his thumb (adorable!) They weigh 1lb 12oz and 1lb 13 oz now. The dr measured my cervix (1.8cm) which is about the same as last week. Then he did a fetal fibronectin test. The results came back today - negative! So that is really good. It basically means that I shouldn't go into preterm labor within the next month. But I'm still on bed rest for the short cervix. The dr also wants to repeat the steroid injections at 28 weeks. In the meantime, I've been keeping busy with books, mags, the tube and knitting. I'm currently knitting my boys little cashmere hats--they're coming out so cute...can't wait to see them in their hats. (I'm also going to knit matching booties.) I'll post pictures when I'm all done.