ladyann's profile

ladyann
	Age: 25 Country: Private Province/region: Private City: Private Partner: Husband Children: Pregnant: Trying to conceive Occupation: Home Daycare Provider
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 72 days ago. Member since: 270 days
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The photo is me and my hubby!! We both have glasses now -- but no pics of that yet.

It is March 6th, 2008. I am 9 DPO on our first official month ttc since we lost our son. I can test on Monday and I am a mess. I do not feel pregnant at all. . . I just want this so badly. I am trying to be peaceful.
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Today is Friday January 11th, 2008. My miscarriage has been hard. We also found out through some blood work I requested that I have Hypothyroidism. I have been on meds for 6 weeks now and have more blood tomorrow. Tomorrow I would be 25 weeks pregnant. It all is still very sad. As soon as my blood work comes back normal -- we may have to adjust my meds a few times before this happens -- then we are officially TTC. I am hoping it does not take very long and this next little one is here to stay. Thanks for those of you who have checked in on me and I am happy to see many of you continuing in your pregnancies. It makes me very hopeful I will have a chance too.
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Today is October 21st Sunday -- it has been 17 days since we lost our little one. Some times I am angry, often I am sad, a few moments I am hopeful for tomorrow. We want to try to make a miracle again ASAP -- not because our baby Eilian will ever be replaced or forgotten. We are ready. My midwife said we could start trying right now -- no need to wait for any number of cycles. We think I ovulated on Tue (the 16th) -- that was also our 2nd anniversary : ). I guess we will see. I felt a little nauseous since Friday . . . but no need to get my hopes up just yet. I will add more later -- to all who have lost a child I am so sorry and for those TTC baby dust!!!

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Eilian Micha -- an earthly soul from Aug. 4th, 2007 - Oct. 4th, 2007 who now plays among the stars!!! I love and miss you my child.

I also wrote a poem about my son. . . I will share it here with you now:

Shadow of a Dragonfly

As I walked one day I saw the shadow of a dragonfly on the road ahead of me.

I looked to see its beauty, but the creature I could not see.

Your shadow danced so freely, I longed to hold you in my hand

you were meant to be here briefly, but it is so hard to understand

Your spirit was so precious you were intended to fly free

I saw the shadow of a dragonfly and I am thankful for the memory.
by Nichole A.F. (mommy)

We love you and miss you baby Eilian. You will always be in hearts.

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Comments on ladyann`s Profile
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Comments 1-25 of about 27 to ladyann
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caitenni - Tuesday, 6 May
How are you doing?!

Melissa5773 - Tuesday, 29 Jan
I just wanted to check in on you and see how you were doing. As hard as it is loosing a baby, just try to remember, things happen for a reason. After I lost my little one in May of last year, I went through the hardest time b/c we wanted to have a baby so badly. I just tried to remember that things happen for a reason, even if we don't see it right away. We had to wait awhile and then I had emergency surgery to have my gallbladder out. I got pregnant right after my surgery. I'll say a prayer for you and your husband. I had my d&c for the miscarriage on May 3, 2007 and my due date for my son is May 3, 2008. Just know that the time will come and it will be right for you and your husband.

karla - Wednesday, 16 Jan
I just stopped by to check on you and found out about your loss. I am so sad as I also lost two babies...one at 8 weeks and the other at 18 weeks! I know that you will be a mom one day b/c tomorrow I will give birth to my second child after two years of trying and just end up with losses! Don't ever give up hope!

sasha22 - Sunday, 13 Jan

bubbles362 - Friday, 11 Jan
YAY! welcome back hunnie. it is so good to see that you are TTC again. WOHOOOO! i hope you get it first time hunnie! keep me posted, any probs give me a shout. love k xxxx

bubbles362 - Monday, 7 Jan
hey how ya doin? havent seen you online for a while hope all is well.xxxx

pargy - Wednesday, 12 Dec

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sasha22 - Wednesday, 3 Oct
I’m sorry about your loss.. i recently had a miscarriage so i know the way you are feeling right now... if you ever need to talk..feel free to drop me a line!!

MrsBuchanan - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I HAVE HAD TWO M/C BEFORE THIS PREGNANCY. THIS IS NUMBER THREE. THE FIRST ONE I WAS 18 AND I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE POSSIBLITY OR REASON FOR HAVE A M/C. I DID NOT PLAN FOR THAT PREGNANCY EITHER. BUT ONCE YOU FIND OUT YOUR PREGNANT OF COURSE SOMETHING CHANGES. SO I THOUGHT THAT IS POSSIBLY WAS A BLESSING BECAUSE I NEEDED TO FINISH SCHOOL AND JUST GOT A JOB AT THE HOSPITAL, I WASNT FULL TIME YET SO I DIDNT HAVE BENEFITS, IT JUST WASNT THE RIGHT TIME. TWO YEARS LATER MY (SAME) BOYFRIEND AND I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN. AT THIS TIME IT WAS A LITTLE BETTER AT LEAST HE HAS HEALTH INSURANCE WE WERE MORE PREPARED. THAT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND THAT I WOULD HAVE A SECOND M/C WE STARTED TELLING EVERYONE BECAUSE ALTHOUGH WE DIDNT NEED A CHILD, I LONG FOR A BABY SINCE I HAD LOST THE FIRST. WEEK 6 THE CRAMPING AND HEAVY BLEEDING STARTED AND THERE IS WAS.....I THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME AND THAT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE A CHILD. MY DOCTOR REASSURED ME THAT HAVING TWO M/C ISNT ABNORMAL AND THAT I WAS YOUNG AND HEALTHY AND SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. OF COURSE I FELT LIKE LESS OF A WOMEN. MY BOYFRIEND AND I MARRIED AND SHORTLY AFTER WE HAVE PREGNANT WITH # 3....WORST FEELING OF MY LIFE WHEN I FOUND OUT. I WAS SOOOOOOOO HAPPY THAT IT HAPPENED AGAIN, BUT SO SCARED THAT A M/C COULD HAPPEN AGAIN TOO. I TOOK IT EASY THE FIRST THREE MONTHS EVERY DAY I WAS SOO SCARED, EVERY FEELING I HAD IN MY LOWER ABDOMEN I WAS AFARID...GOD HAS BLESSED US THIS TIME AND WE HAVE MADE IT TO 23 WEEKS AND I WILL MORE THAN HAPPY. I STILL GET SCARED AND PRENOID AT TIMES BUT WHEN I FEEL HIM MOVING AND I JUST TAHNK GOD EVERYDAY FOR GETTIN US THIS FAR AND ASK HIM TO BLESS US FOR THE REMANDER OF THE WEEKS. SO BASICALLY I AM SAYING MIRCALES HAPPEN WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT THEN. I KNOW ITS HARD TO BE PATIENT, BUT GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS GOING. EVEN IF WE DONT. TAKE CARE AND TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME...LOTS OF LOVE & SUPPORT

RENE

roseyleee - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I understand entirely what you are going through. At somepoints i disturbingly started feeling jealous of people who have spontaneous miscarriages. To be told you will in no doubt miscarry but could not say when is just awful. Like you I was supposed to be 13 weeks today and found out last thurs things had stopped progressing at 8/9 weeks. Had a D and C today. Very much pain free but un-dignified and somewhat unemotional. i feel i have already grieved for the loss when i had a threatened miscarriage at 7 weeks and again when i found out last week. Today i just feel sore, empty and like i am on AF. I am going to TTC in new year to take it all and digest.. refresh myself and start a new! Keep positive many worse things happen at least we know now and can slowly start to move on in our own time. I am not sure how this miscarriage will affect me in the future but for now i will try and be positive. Easier said than done and i am not at all looking forward to going back to work on thursday. I don't have a sick note for work and i am worried they will ask me loads of questions about what i have been doing and why i have been off. Urrrgh i just don't want to be worried about it at the moment but can't help it. Any way enough of this rambling. I wish you a speedy recovery and if you ever want to ask me anything just message me. I will be hanging around on this site for a little while (old habits). Don't think i will be able to stand seeing others with successful pregos due in april for much longer! Feeling jealous of every pregnant woman on planet is not big or clever but hey i can't help it. xxxx Ramble ramble ramble... Take good care of yourself. Helen xx Thinking of you xx

havefaith - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I am sorry for your loss and I feel you pain I just had a miscarrige in September and I know exactly where you are coming from, I am still not done yet, Dr says that there is still alittle bit of tissue in there, I just want it to be done so I can move on and start trying again. Keep you head up and I will be praying for you!!!

JulianneH - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I am sorry, I had a miscarriage last March. I got one period in April then got pregnant again the end of April and now I am 23 weeks along, So, just stay strong! The miscarriage itself sucks and you will be very emotional but you will be OK! They say 1 in 4 end in miscarriage so you had your 1 now you can have 3 healthly babies! Stay Strong!

meredyth0315 - Tuesday, 2 Oct
So sorry for your loss. We've started TTC again after our loss in July. It was an emotional 3 months to say the least. Make sure you take the time to heal - physically & emotionally. Best of luck to you, I know you'll be blessed again soon!!

joyce85- - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I am so sorry you have to experience this heartache.
Best of luck in the future

rosemary - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Take care of yourself. Praying for brighter days ahead...
xxx

lindsaybaby - Tuesday, 2 Oct
i am truly sorry to hear your news. i know it is disheartening after so much anticipation but i know that you will be blessed again. i will keep you in my prayers.

niseybear - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I was so hoping you wouldn't have to go through this. G-d bless you sweetie and may you heal very soon!

SHERRYBABYDEAN - Tuesday, 2 Oct
So sorry about your baby.I was praying that you would have better news.When you are ready to try again,may God be with you.For now,take care of yourself and don't be afraid to morn for your loss.

sneezy - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll be checking in on you!

9mo - Tuesday, 2 Oct
I'm deeply sorry for you and your family. I wish you all the best for the future.

chickinlil - Tuesday, 2 Oct
Ladyann...I am so sorry for your news. I hope you inlaws will handle the news okay. You will be in my thoughts and prayers that you will get your baby soon. God bless you your husband and your family!

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They are cuter when you mash`em! (2007, 08, 26)

Me and my little sisters!! (2007, 08, 26)

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