8.8.07 [wed]
Just found out we're pregnant with our second! Took test 2 days ago, currently 4 weeks pregnant and TOTALLY milking it !! haha Hey no complaints from the hubby yet. He finds it totally amusing.



More updates and pics soon!



8.9.07 [thurs]
So when the suspicion of being pregnant came along. I had specifically told one of my best friends that I will NOT be telling anyone until I was 12 weeks along [ my husband & parents being an exception ]. But she said I better at least tell her. Well, haha so much for that. Is it wrong that she was the first I told? Then my husband, parents, brother. A couple of other gf's, and today my business partner. She then in made a comment of looking forward to registering for stuff, when a nosey client had to ask what we were talking about then and there it was announced to the rest of our clients and employees that I was pregnant. Who to tell next. Who to tell next.

8.10.07 [fri]
So last night I finally decided I was going to tell my daughter that she was going to be a big sister. She was talking about her little friend next door Michael. Michael's mom just had twin little girls last month, and Bellinda was saying how cute they were, and that she LOVES Michael's babies. So I go, " you know bellinda. Mommy has a little baby in her belly too. " In responce? Bellinda says " Well , Michael's mom had TWO babies in her belly.". What the hell! hahaha Did I just lose to Michael's mommy?

8.20.07 [mon]
My cousin w/ her 4 friends from California came to stay with me this pass week. The whole time they were here, I was so irritated at everything they did. Messing up my house, being noisy, they're SLOW at doing everything, I had to take them EVERYWHERE, so I absolutely hate driving anywhere now. Tonight I took them to the airport. Came back into my house, and I just feel such a sense of lost!!!! Is it my crazy hormones going nutty?! I just wanna lay in bed and MISS them!! PLUS I feel like I gained a million pounds already. I can't fit into my pants. my tummy looks like I had way too many beer, and twinkies, and wings. I know i've heard of people expanding much quicker and much earlier on the second pregnancy. Someone please tell me it's true!!!! And I'm not just getting incrediably fat!!!!! God I'm never gonna lose this weight.

8.22.07 [wed]
First day back to work since my time off for the company that was staying with me. I am just in the worst mood. I don't remember feeling this way through my first pregnancy. No morning sickness yet surprisingly. Am I jinxing myself? I noticed that I've been having like cold like symptoms and I'm pretty sure I don't have a cold. My voice has been raspy, my head hurts, TIRED TIRED TIRED, grumpy, my body aches. It's endless. Even through all this. Being pregnant still seems surreal to me. like it's not really happening. i went out an bought some maternity jeans just to fool myself into thinking I might be pregnant, but still hahah nothing. i feel like i'm lying to everyone.

8.24.07 [fri]
God i've been SO tired! So much so that I fell like I can barely function. I'm always hungry, but the site and taste of most food makes me feel sick. I've been unbelievably gassy. The only thing I want to do all day is lay down and rest my head, if I could possible sleep all day i would. As much as I fel bad for myself, I especially feel bad for my hubby. At home i'm fine, but when he calls me at work like he just did. I get totally short tempered. I just snapped at him and hung up on him over a wrong stamp he had put on an envelope and mailed out. I kno!! I'm a horrible wife!! I can't wait to feel normal again!!

8.31.07 [fri]
So I'm hungry. ALL THE TIME. And then I eat, I feel like purging it all out. WHY WHY WHY?! Can't I get some relief!!! Still no morning sickness. Thank goodness *knocks on wood*. I'm still extremely tired. And today? I'M SOO THIRSTY!! I can't stop drinking!! The minute that yummy liquid escapes my lips and rolls down my throat, I'm thirsty all over again. I just want to skip all of this and start looking like a cute little pregnant chick.

10.10.07 [wed 13 weeks]
Wow it's been over a month since I've updated!! September was extremely stressful for me. Work has been horrible. My birthday was in September, and this year, it kinda came and went. Sad huh? I'm normally huge on birthdays , and I always make sure that my friends and family, everyone's birthday is recognized and appreciated, and this year. I just kind of felt unloved. haha pathetic eh?! haha Whatever. Well, today I make 13 weeks!! FINALLY!! I think we're safe!! I'm starting to feel much better. I'm still tired, but not as much as before. Hunger isn't as bad as it was either thank goodness. I'm still super emotional, and feel more fat then pregnant. This baby is so far carrying totally different from my first. With her i felt horrible the first few months, but then it disappeared one day. It literally happened like all the legends. The mysterious dissapearing morning sickness. And then I gained the weight gracefully. With this one. I gained the weight all at once, never really started with morning sickness, and it never really just went away. I spotted through most of this pregnant also, which was so unnerving. I had an OB appointment this pass Monday, and since it was Columbus day. Bellinda had off from school and got to go with me. it was cute, she kept reaasurring me through out the whole ride there that everything would be ok, and that nothing would hurt, and then we get in the doc's office and she's like " mommy are they gonna take the baby out now? " aww. And we both got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. Even though we had an ultrasound a couple weeks ago to check the gestational age, Hearing that heartbeat really brought it all home. Ohmygod!! I'm really pregnant!!!

10.18.2007 [thursday 14 weeks]
I am 100 days pregnant today. Been feeling some weird stretching and hardening on one side of my stomach constantly. Could it be the baby? I'm excited! Finally starting to feel pregnant. I think the first 3 months you just feel like your having a horrible CONSTANT hangover, but now, i'm feeling a little better, belly is getting fatter. Lady's and Gents I think there might actually be a baby in there! 4 weeks before I find out what I'm having. WOOHOO! Can someone recommend a fetal doppler that I can use to listen to the heartbeat as early as 14 weeks I can possibly get in the states?

11.05.2007 [monday 16 weeks]
So I finally have my monthly doctor's visit today. Isn't it weird you grow up as a child and LOATH having to see he doctor's and here we are. LOOKING forward to it? As far as how I'm feeling, I just got over a cold. Have a stubborn cough that doesn't seem to want to go away. and I have the Himalayas growing on my chin. If you count every pimple I've ever accumulated in my life, they are basically congregating on my chin as we speak. It's frustrating, and worst of all totally embarrassing. Is anyone else having problems with this same issue?

11.07.2007 [wednesday 17 weeks]
We find out Monday 11/12!!!! I'll only be at the end of my 17th week. Does anyone know if that might be too early? As far as the weight. I've gained 5 lbs since getting pregnant. Keeping fingers crossed. If I behave. I might his the 25 lbs mark !!! And God willing NOT the 67 lb mark w/ I did with my first!!

11.12.07 [monday 17.9 weeks]
Well. It's a....... GIRL!! We were told it might be too early to tell yet though, which I don't get because plenty of people apparently has had their u/s earlier then i and have had a definite conclusion!!! SO frustrating. I been saying how I wouldn't mind another girl, but I still expected to have been disappointed when and if the tech tells me it was a girl. Well, surprisingly I wasn't upset! I was EXCITED!!! My husband is a little more confused though. Suggestions for names?! I've been preparing for a boy !!

11.16.07 [thursday 18.2 weeks]
ok , you know when you watch a movie or tv, and the pregnant chick is running around running her normal errands, going to work, cleaning the house. SHOPING, and OH! out of no where there's a kick and she drops everything and hugs her belly lovingly. Or WAIT even better, when she's laying in bed reading a book [ something intelligent of course! ] and OH! there goes the pesky baby kicking and her GORGEOUS significant other kisses her belly lovingly. ****GAG**** When is this pesky baby going to jab me in the ribs!!! Quit w/ the fluttering!!!

11.17.07 [friday 18.3 weeks]
Wow stressful week. I've never updated so much! I just don't know what to do. 2 years ago, my dad lent me money [ even though he didn't want to ] to open my business w/ my partner. My partner swore it's fail proof. If for any reason within 2 yrs I did not want to do this anymore, she would buy my 1/2 of the business and I can wash my hands clean of it. Well, she decided to bail after a year, the building we rent belongs to her aunt, and coincidently she does not want to rent to ME anymore. For what reason I have no clue. So now we have o be out by the end of this year, and there has been no serious offers by anyone to purchase our business even though it's in a great location. I'm terrified of telling my dad. I'm terrified of telling him I lost his money.

11.28.07 [wednesday 20 weeks]
So I'm so pissed that my docter had me go in for my u/s at 17 weeks. I'm pissed that the tech said "don't hold me on it" as she's telling us the sex. I know I keep saying I don't care if it's a girl. Which believe me I don't. BUT I'd still like to know FOR SURE what I'm having! If it's a oh " don't hold me on it " then why the hell did I go out of my way to find out anyways?!! Ok so I've accepted it's a girl, or possibly can be a girl. And I was planning on buying everything neutral anyway. So why does ppl [including my mom] keep saying "I think they're wrong" or " oh, you know so and so was told they were having this and they actually ended having that " !!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Haha needless to say I'm not having a very good month. The situation at work is still super stressful. Money has been very tight, and with the holidays. It just sucks. I refuse to let myself put everything on credit because regardless I'm going to have to pay it back anyways. I've been super tired, and really would rather not get out of bed, but have to, which only makes my day worst. Been feeling super lazy, and even though I know that I was never this way, it just feels like this is my nature now, and it's always been. At the end of this day. I take a hot shower, lay in bed and hug my belly, and pray I feel a strong kick from the baby, that really takes away all this stress. And I feel nothing. At 20 weeks, and being my second pregnancy. I do not feel all the extra perks of being in the This is not my first pregnancy club. I did not feel the kicks any earlier then those being pregnant for the first time. And now the kicks are definitely not as strong or as frequent as those that have never been pregnant either. It's so frustrating.

Those that are as sweet as to read my posts, and be worried. DON'T BE! I'm just stressed, and I'm venting. I hope that everyone's pregnancy is going well, and their Thanksgiving passed well!

12.07.07 [Friday 21.3 weeks]
She finally kicked!!! It was great. i mean there's been wiggling but I wanted a kick. Something that can't be mistaken for GAS!! And last night laying in bed watching Dexter [OMG is anyone else freaking addicted?!!] i felt a weird hiccup in my belly, and I grabbed my hubbies hand and he felt it too!! It was great! So sure I wasn't laying in bed reading something intelligent, looking all hot. And my hubby didn't lovingly hug and kiss my belly. BUT at least I felt the kick!! And of course it never stopped!! She's been moving so much, it's great! We get another ultrasound on Tuesday to see for sure if it's a girl. I'm excited. Unfortunately my daughter has school. Should I let her play hooky? haha Would I be a horrble mom if I did?

So work is still stressful. Thank you so much to those that are concerned. You guys are soo sweet. I mean people even the ones closest to me. They don't understand the type of stress I'm under. It's not like I'm just worried about the store, but I'm PISSED that I can't enjoy my pregnancy, because my partner is an asshole. She's evil, and there's nothing I can do about it, and no one to help her open her eyes and see how disgusting she's being. Hope all you girls out there are doing well!!!

12.12.07 [Wednesday 22 weeks]
Ohmygosh. Can you believe it? We're in week 22! I still remember the day I took my pregnancy test. It seems like it was last night! I took my test before I even missed my period. For some reason my body just new. And now I'm over 1/2 way there. It's kind of amazing how at a blink of an eye. Your life can just fly by. Trips & Occasions that seem like forever before they get here, are here before you even know it. But then it saddens me how quickly it passes too. Like my daughter won't be my baby for much longer, and everytime she upsets me, and gets scolded. I just feel super guilty! Her pout breaks my heart, because as much as I don't want to upset her, I also know that that pout wont' be there for ever. That one day. It'll be a friend or a *gulp* boyfriend that'll make her pout. Yesterday I was at the hospital for an appointment, and I saw all these old people. The thought of my husband and I being that age, or even my parents being that feeble scares the shit out of me. It's so bitter sweet. Like my store. Opening day 2 years ago. I did not think today would be here. I didn't think that my partner who at the time was one of my best friends. I'd do anything for this girl. I would have never thought she'd fuck me over. Never thought I'd lost this store, and today. in 3 weeks. It'll be all over. I'll have to start from scratch. This too is bitter sweet. It's sad that our friendship has came to this. It's horrible that my dad probably has lost confidence in me, and thinks I'm a horrible business person. That I'm too "soft". But it's so invigorating to know. In 3 weeks time. I'll be done with her. That I will never have to see or speak to her again, and that she'll get what is coming to her eventually. I know I'm a good person, I know I have not done her wrong, I know that I've been nothing but true and honest in this business, and have kept my word on everything. And karma will reward that.

I've been super duper emotional lately!! I cried watching "Deck the Halls" yesterday. You know at the end when everyone used their cell phones to illuminate the house? haha yeah. It's that bad. and then again when my daughter didn't like her dinner. THEN again this morning driving into work that song "christmas shoes" came on. I thought that was suppose to be over with? Another thing is, when you sneeze. Does your belly hurt?

So those of you who knows about my back problem? I went to see a physical therapist yesterday and boy does it feel better today!!

SO on a lighter note. I got my u/s yesterday, and it's DEFINITELY A GIRL!! haha now we can get the ball rolling!! Hubby likes the name Alexis. He's so cute. He has a little bit of an accent, and for some reason cannot for his life pronounce Alexis correctly after saying it the first time. haha so he's having his doubts now, and I said we can always call her Lexie, haha. Enjoy week 22 girls, and let me know how you all doing! No matter what week your in ~!!

12.14.2007 [friday 22.3 weeks]
CONGRATULATIONS to our friend David and Quita!! Ian Alexander was born 430 this morning! It's so exciting! I can't wait to go see this baby!!! She's only staying at a hospital a few blocks from my shop, and I'm SOO tempted to just leave work and walk over to see her! BUT of course those of you who've been keeping up with my posts. My nazi of a business partner might be UPSET. So annoying. It's ok I'll visit her after work!

So last night the baby started kicking. HARD! It was cute, my daughter put her head on my belly and apparently the baby kicked her in the ear. Haha, and then did the same to my hubby when he didn't believe her. I guess it was from the HUGE brownie I had before bed! She kicked all night, and then this morning I had a chocolate crossiant for breakfast and now she's kicking up a storm again! I guess this little bugger is like her mommy and LOVES the chocolate!!

So I posted a poll about the names we picked out for the baby. I think we've definitely decided on Alexis. And I was thinking of giving her either Ella or Riley as a middle name, BUT then Bellinda keeps calling her flower, so I though maybe I'd pick a flower name for her middle name, but then there was nothing I liked. So my husband, cousin, and I discussed it, and thought it would be totally cute to name her Alexis Flower. It's nice that Bellinda gets a part of naming her sister, and I think that is a little bond that literally starts beyond birth for the two of them! I mean the whole baby process the siblings are kinda just spectators, and i really want Bellinda to know she has a part of it too! I mean who really uses their middle name anyways? Bellinda's middle name is Noella and NO ONE ever uses it! But i've gotten such negative responses to Flower. I don't know. What should I do?

UPDATE ok so I searched the names Alexis, Ella, Riley, and yes even FLOWER on this site and this is what they've given me.

Alexis: Protector of mankind [ good I like that]Given to 4134 babies in the US in 2006.
Flower: Was given to less then 150 babies in both 2005 and 2006 in the US.
Ella: Beautiful Fairy Maiden [hahah . ew] Given to 8121 babies in the US in 2006.
Riley: Rye Meadows[ umm ok ] Also is a boys name. Given to 4065 babies in the US in 2006.

12.27.07 [Thursday 24 weeks]
So Christmas has come and gone. Thank god. I swear. Can anything else bad happen to me? I know I've been Boo hoo'ing a lot this month. It's pathetic. I'm just so down!! Haha. So Christmas was horrible. I'm not sure if I brought up the story of my pain in the ass cousin and his pain in the ass mom at Thanksgiving. His mom is my dad's older sister, and they are forever mooching. He's a smart ass, and she just has no clue. Thanksgiving was at my house because it was suppose to be a sudo-houswarming also. So my mom and spent all day cooking, and then my aunts showed up with my cousin. They had called to see " what time dinner was " NOT "if there was anything they can do". Showed up LATER then when I said dinner would be ready, then sat down and started eating while we were still setting up the table, THEN complained through dinner at how everything could have been improved. meal wise. yeah. Well, Christmas was suppose to be at my house. We set up the tree, and all the presents were already at my houes, but I made it clear they were absolutely NOT welcomed in my house again. So we were suppose to do dinner on the 23rd OUT, and then my family was suppose to open presents xmas eve [ everyone had inlaws to be at xmas day] This would have worked out perfectly, except the fact that they wouldn't leave my parents house, and we had a mere 15 minutes to tear open our presents xmas morning before everyone ran to their respective inlaws. It was horrible. Am I making a big deal about it because all of a sudden I'm preggers drama mama?

So the store. The people we bought from are buying is back out, but for only HALF of what we paid. Yes I'm getting ripped off. My partner is an asshole, her family are assholes, and I hope they get all that's coming to them.

Pregnancy is going well!! I'm definitely getting fat. At my last appt, they said I only gained 1 lb even though I know that i gained 4 in the first month. haha, so this time I KNOW for a fact I gained weight. I feel HUMONGOUS!!! Baby's been moving, but she's just not active all the time. She doesn't like me sitting, because I feel her diggin at the waist band, and laying down she'll let me know what position she doesn't like to be in , but either then that, she's a quiet little girl. This pregnancy is definitely NOTHING like my first!!!!

1.07.08 [Monday 25.9 weeks]

Happy New Year girls!! I am so glad that it's '08!!

So let's start w/ my store. I'll make it quick. We signed the take over on the 29th. I got my money, and I walked out only wanting the best for '08. It's beens sad. That store was my life for the last 2 years. I didn't think I'd miss it as much as I do. I loathed it when it was mine I think only because I knew the outcome of my owning it would be bleak. But I have to see it as just another chapter in my life. I have to move on! My ex-clients have been great. They are so supportive, and I've walked away with new friends. I always had a hard time drawing that line between friend and client. I get so attached!!! So at least a couple good things came out of that horrible situation!

New Years Eve I didn't do much. We spent it at home. It was so cold that night. Luckily there's a couple of parks in my neighborhood that has fireworks on New Year's Eve and on the 4th. So at midnight We put on our jackets and slippers and stood on our lawn and watched fireworks. It was so bittersweet! So much has happend in '07 , and most of it sad, but I was so excited for our new year! With the baby, and our new life. My brother left for Mexico and my parents left for Australia New Year's Day, so since dropping them all off at the airport, it's just been the 3 of us. Well, the 4 of us. haha. It's been nice. And today. MY GOD!! It was 18 degrees last Thursday, and today it's 63!! 67 tomorrow!!! It's gorgeous out!!

The baby has been moving around so much. I love it. I can't wait till she's here!! I can't wait to smell her!! So I had a doctor's appointment this past monday. I've gained 4 lbs in the last 4 weeks. I'm crushed. So according to the doc I've gained 5 lbs this whole pregnancy, but I think it's been more like 10 since I count the weight I gained before my first checkup. it feels so much more then that though. Trust me girls. I am not "braggin" like some woman about how little they've gained. i've always weighed more then I looked. So being at the weight I'm at is really scary. I'll probably be pushing 200 lbs by the time I deliver and that scares the shit out of me. With Bellinda. My last weigh in was 197. I had gained 67 lbs with her. Took me almost 5 years to lose 1/2 of it, and I'm gaining it all back. Now that I have the time off I'm going to have to look for a pregnancy yoga video to start doing at home. At my last appointment they also did my glucose screening. Keeping my fingers crossed. I do not wanna go thru it a second time like with bellinda. I'm not scared of them drawing my blood every hour. I'm scared of the fasting and being near death with hunger when they're done!! haha.

I was going to update last week. But I couldn't brind myself to it. I was so down, and now I'm glad I didn't. I feel so much better today, and if I had updated last week. All I would have done is sit here and cried through the whole thing. Quick Question before I go. I was very blue last year and my docter had me on Wellbutrine for almost a year. I got off of it a few months before I got pregnant. but now I'm terrified that I'm going to have a really bad post pardum. It was realy bad with Bellinda. I cried for weeks after having her. Does anyone else have this problem? Or have been told of what they can do , if they think they'll be super blue after the baby?

1.14.08 [Monday 26.9 weeks]
So I have a problem. I'm having my baby shower on the 24th of Feb. The showers going to be Jack and Jill only because I'm friends w/ a lot of my husbands friends' wives, and I think my husband will enjoy having his buddies around too. Well, earlier on my gf and I decided no kids. ONLY because my husband's friend Jackson, his wife is completely clueless. She brings her teenage son [ from another marriage ] and their 2 very little little girls, and her kids tear my house apart, and she says nothing. and then one of my best friend, her son is a few months older then my daughter and he also sets out to destroy the things in my house. I REALLY do not want these kids in my house, but then I decided I was going to make exceptions for certain friends that have infants , and little cousins. Is that wrong? Everyone's telling me I'll feel really bad about it once the day is here. But what should I do about these kids I can't stand?!!! PLEASE! SUGGESTIONS!!

1.28.07 [Monday 28.9 weeks]
So I had my doctor's appointment today. Glucose test came out fine, and I gained 2 lbs since my last appt on new year's eve. THANK GOD. At my last appt I had gained 4 lbs for the month of december, and since I've been off work for the last 4 weeks I was sure it'd be more then that. I wonder if their scales are wrong? Is that possible? I am now on the 2 week schedule w/ my OB. I cannot believe I made it this far so quickly!

This baby has been moving around sooo much!! Her kicks are somewhat painful now. But such a joy to feel! Especially when I'm alone in a waiting room, or just alone in general, and she starts kicking around. It's like my own little buddy to keep me company. Though I do wish my little buddy will sleep at night so that I can stop waking up every hour and having to pee because she can't lay off my bladder!

Bellinda is becoming increasingly impatient. She wants her "fat baby" to be taken out NOW. It's so cute.

So am I the only one that's completely UNREADY for this baby? Nursery is not done. Barely bought any clothes. Have not packed hosp bag, or necessities for the baby. NO furniture or car seat. BUT I have a box of diapers!!

02.06.08 [Wednesday 30 weeks]

Today is poor hubby's birthday. We sort of celebrated it with my parents on Sunday. As you may or may not know tomorrow is officially Chinese New Year. And it's tradition to have Chinese New Year Eve's Dinner with the family traditionally tonight, but with everyone's work and school schedule, Sunday was just easier. SO The 3 of us, my parents, my brother and his gf went out for dinner. My mom and I managed to sneak a cake in the restaurant without my hubby knowing. [ Money I might say I borrowed from him to buy the cake. haha What can I do ! I'm unemployed!!] He was very surprised, and it was cute. The cake was really yummy. So since today is OFFICIALLY his b-day, I made his favorite dinner, but it's such a shame. He worked all day comes home for an hour, and then has night classes, so I didn't say anything to him, and after he left for school, my daughter and I decorated another cake for him for when he comes home. Bellinda made her daddy 2 cards, and she'll get to stay up late so we can surprise him with cake when he gets home. I feel so bad there's not much more I can do for him. Being pregnant and unemployed does not do a hubby well on his birthday.

So god willing i don't deliver early, I have 9 weeks left before i deliver. I'm so scared!!! I have a LIST of questions to ask my doctor on monday. MOST important one. Can he administer some valium or sedative BEFORE they try to poke ANYTHING into my body. That includes the catheter! I'm freaking out. For someone who had such a horrible first delivery, that ended up in a VERY calm ride to the operating room for a c-section, I am not acting so confident. My heart literally races when i think about it. I"M SO SCARED!!!

SO my last post I said I haven't bought anything. Well, that's still fairly true. I bought some more clothes. Clothes I think i might not even end up needing. And I bought a tube of daiper cream, lotion, and baby wash. I just can't wait till after my stupid shower, so I can really start preparing.

Has anyone started nesting yet? My nesting bug is running really late this time around. I've just been SO tired. I can't stop eating and sleeping!!! Before I digest the last meal, I'm already starting to think what I can eat next!!! Pathetic.

02.11.08 [ Monday 30.9 weeks]

I've tried updating THREE TIMES. I hate this site! I give up! Update next time.

02.12.08 [Tuesday 30.7 Weeks]

Ok let's try this again. So had a 2 week check up yesterday. Gained a quarter of a pound since my last checkup. Doc tried to calm my fears that I've been having about my scheduled c-sections, but I don't think it helped. I asked for some kind of relaxer. A valium. SOMETHING before they start any poking and prodding. And he goes what exactly am I so anxious about ? And so I list that I'm terrified of my IV, my epi, the damn catheter, and so he goes, "well, honey. You don't have to worry about the catheter. They won't insert it till you get your spinal so you won't feel a thing, and if the nurse insist on putting it in, then have them come talk to me. " ok great! But how about all the other needles they're going to be poking into me?!! And as far as my anxieties that's making me lose sleep everynight. His answer? Tylenol PM. haha. He really would "rather not put me on Xanax". WHY NOT?!

So my c-section has been scheduled. It's official. April 10th @ 11:30!! I'm so nervouse!! I'm ready for this baby to be out of me, but am I ready for all the changes?! Am I ready to have another child?!! I know . Too late now.

My baby shower is in a little over a week. My gf throwing it is being a NIGHTMARE. And it's only scaring me MORE because I'm her bridesmaid. And I'm going to have to throw a shower and bacholorette party back for her, and her sister is a bridesmaid who i cannot stand and I know will make my life hell. I swear. I will not hesitate to drop out of the wedding the minute she gets outta hand.

2.22.08 [Friday 32.2 weeks]

Real quick update before my shower this Sunday. I just checked my registry and BARELY anything has moved off it. Should I be worried? Are my friends the cheap or just clueless? Keeping fingers crossed!!

3.3.08 [Monday 33.9 weeks]

So the shower went surprisingly well! I gave up on worrying about the house getting trashed. The kids that I was super unhappy about being here, one came super late and only stayed a bit, and the rest were no shows. THANK GOD. I got a ton of gifts in which I returned and got a ton of stuff I really needed. I appreciated all that came and all the gifts I received, but I'm so glad it's all over with. My house is now practically clean again. I don't have anymore house guests, and I can fall back into my anal rententive way. Haha isn't it great?

I've started washing all my baby clothes today, in the process of putting the crib together. My c-section has been scheduled for 5 1/2 weeks from now. And I'm FREAKING out!!!!

03.10.08 [Monday 34.9 weeks]

30 more days to go! I can't believe it . Well, technically 36 till my due date, but since I'm getting a c-section. It's only 30 days till my scheduled appointment. It's so bizarre! I know I should be super excited about this baby being here, but I'm super nervous. Is that wrong? I'm just so used to it being the 3 of us. Recently Bellinda has really been taking a liking to my belly. She's always singing and talking to it, and sometimes I notice if we're standing around she'll rub my belly with out thinking it. It's so cute. When i was pregnant with Bellinda. I couldn't wait to see her daddy with her, and this time I can't wait to see Bellinda with the new baby.

I've been so grumpy lately. Super testy, and just super needy. Does not feel good. I want to be normal again. I want to wear normal clothes. I want to color my hair, and not freak out about every single thing I put in my mouth.

My braxton hicks have been INTENSE lately.

03.25.08 [Tuesday 36.9 weeks]

OHMYGOD. Is this going to be over soon?

16 more days!!

Last Thursday my daughter went to the doc's for this horrible cough that was still persistant after 6 days and an entire bottle of Tylenol Cold. Turned out she had allergy induced asthma. Was not a cold at all. Was put on an inhaler, So we skipped our merry way along home. Where I found blood in my urine. The bleeding continued for the rest of the day. At about 11 that night, my brother and his gf who are both studying nursing, convinced me to call my doc, and get my bags packed. I packed showered , and waited for my doctor to call and tell me to go to the hospital. CONVINCED that this was it. Doc called back. Apparently. THIS was not IT. hahaha. How dumb. Unpacked, calmed my daughter down, and we all went to bed. Since then the bleeding has stopped. At my appointment yesterday my OB suggested maybe it was an early bloody show. Final ultrasound shows she is a little over 5 lbs, and i've gained about SEVEN pounds in the last 2.5 weeks!!!!! I was not dilated, and my cervix was not ripe at all. Bummers.

I am SO uncomfortable. I can't walk very well. I can't even bend over to put on my underwear, never mind my socks and shoes. At the moment. Little peanut in there is playing soccer. As much as I love feeling her move around. My god I'm ready to have her out!!! She is officially being served her eviction papers!!! I am so unprepared. Her room is a mess. We have all her furniture that will eventually be disbursed around the house is all crowded in there for the time being. I would LOVE to start the dispersing if not for the fact I will be having a birthday party for Bellinda here 4 days before my c-section. At least all her clothes are washed and put away. Our hospital bags are nearly finished being packed. I just have to do some final cleaning around the house before i go in the hospital. I am So scared about my c-section. I really want a valium that day I check in . Before they start anything, but my doc brushed me off the first time I asked and I just feel like such a fool asking again! Should I push for it?

On a final note. I feel such LOVE for my daughter lately. She is SO BEAUTIFUL. And I cannot wait to see this little one. I hope she looks just like her sister!

03.31.08 [ Monday 37.9 weeks]

Hi ladies!! Had my doctor's appointment today. Cervix still completely closed. But yesterday I lost bits of my mucus plug a few times. So nasty. Was nervous all night in fear of my water breaking, but nothing happened, and since the doc said it was fine, and my cervix is still closed I should have no problem making it till the 10th. I cannot believe I'm only like 10 days away from my baby being here!!! i don't know if I'm excited or not! I just feel like I'm gonna be pregnant forever at this point! So today was my last appointment. The next time I see my doc again, it will be the day of my surgery!!

So I asked my doctor today if there is any possible way he can give me something. ANYTHING to calm my nerves before they start poking me with needles. He said NO. He doesn't want the baby sedated in any way. GOD!!! This is so frustrating!! I'm making myself sick worrying about the IV. I know it's so silly. And trust me it's getting better. I was alot worst a few weeks ago. Now I've actually accepted that there isn't much I can do. Where as before I was REALLY prepared to grovel for a valium!

04.03.08 [Thursday 38.1 week]

I know everyone cares. I know they just want to know how I am doing. But seriously STOP calling me!! My phone has been ringing NON STOP. They want to see how I am doing. They want to see if I had the baby. How do you seriously think I'm doing? I'm 9 months pregnant. I'm HUGE. And I can't walk without waddling and grunting. If I HAD the baby don't you think I would have called?! AND EVERYONE knows that I have a scheduled c-section. EVERYONE was told the date of my c-section. So I mean come on!!! I'm not trying to be inconsiderate, or a bitch. But If you decide that you want to call to " see how I'm doing " don't you think that EVERYONE else is doing the same, and at some point it gets OLD?! Or the best is " I haven't heard from you TODAY, and I was worried you might have popped" OHMYGOD. Enough already!!! STOP BLOWING up my phone. ORRR The absolute best. " I called you like 15 times yesterday. Don't you know to pick up your phone?" Well, fool! If you called 15 times and I didn't pick up ! GET A CLUE!!! I know towards the end of a lot of my gf's pregnancies. I either texted, emailed, or sent them a card. And when they felt like replyin. Great, but if they didnt'. I knew there was much more on their minds!

I'm sorry. I just needed to blow off some steam. It's just SO annoying!!!!

04.07.08 [Monday 38.6 weeks]

So this weekend passed much TOO quickly. Friday the hubster & I ran all the errands we needed to run for Bellinda's birthday party. And then SOME more errands Saturday morning. Everyone showed up at arond 1:00 and was all gone by about 6:00 it was nice. House was cleaned by 10:00. Bellinda had tons of fun. But by 10PM I guess it was from all my running around. I started getting mild contractions. They were every 5 minutes on the dot, and lasted for about a minute each. Weren't painful but a little uncomfortable. We thought ohmygod !! This is it!! But no.. hahhaa.. I had them for about 45 minutes, and they went away. Have had tons of discharge all weekend though, which is in itself really disgusting and uncomfortable. Yesterday I spent the day with my parents, and Bellinda had ANOTHER birthday dinner, this time w/ my mom. I couldn't help it. I played the whole "OHMYGOD ! 6 yrs ago at this time I was in labor!" or " 5 more hours and Bellinda will be born!" hahaa ALL DAY. But it's soo weird !! It's true!! I can't believe 6 yrs passed so fast!!

I just got off the phone with the hospital. They were doing my pre-registration, and I'm scheduled to go in tomorrow morning for pre-administration tests. GREAT. MORE needles. So I've got tons of laundry to do , and by Wednesday night I'll have to make sure everything is done, and my bags are organized. I need to make sure Bellinda's bag's are too. She's going to spend the weekend at my parents while I'm in the hospital. My poor hubby will be in class Wed night and won't be home till 1030 at night. So I'm gonna pop 2 Tylenol Pm's at about 8, and hopefully just pass out so that I can get up bright and early Thursday morning to shower, and make sure everything is set to go. Drop Bellinad off at school at 830, which I know I'll be super emotional about. CRY my way to the hosp. and at 1100 This little stincker will be born! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!!

04.09.08 [Wednesday 39 weeks]

So it's currently 10:42 AM. In exactly 24 hours I'll possibly be laying on a gurney being pushed into the OR. I cannot believe this is happening. Yesterday I went in for my pre-admissions testings. Been a while since I've gotten a FULL physical. Felt like I was in High School all over again. haha. Apparently I've developed a heart murmur from the baby? Well, I've got to get that checked out after I have her. Last night for some reason the way she was moving around was just super painful!! And today my lower back is killing me! I was standing and doing a lot of running around yesterday, but normally after a night's rest, it's usually a lot better, but not today. Could I be getting my wish and going into early labor? My wish in fact that I wished i didn't wish to begin with since my husband reminded me they give NEEDLES to stop labor. Yeah I'm done being poked on. The ONLY needles I'm gonna be expecting tomorrow is my IV and my spinal.

04.10.08 [Thursday D DAY!]

I can't believe today is here. It's currently 8AM. In an hour I'll be checking myself into the hospital, and in 3 hours they'll start taking this little one out of me! I'm so calm right now, that I'm sorta worried! Last night I took 2 Tylenol PM's at about 800. And I passed out at around 1000. Got up way too early. At about 500, and have just been wrapping up some odd ends. Took a shower, double checked my bag, went and got my husband and Bellinda breakfast. [ which sucks cuz all i smell is yummy food, and I'm sucking on ice chips! ] I thought I'd be a mess at this point, but still nothing. The baby has just started waking up and I can feel her squirming. It's so exciting to know in a few hours it'll be her birthday!! 4.10 a date that had absolutely no meaning to any of us for so many years, is going to be a very special day for the rest of our lives.

To all my girls. Good Luck this week!! I know your all due in the next few days to a week!! I WILL be thinking of you . I will post pics and check on you girls as soon as I can!!

xoxo



She was so tiny! I can't believe my daughter is gonna be SIX!