I am a 28 year old married Mom of 7. Number 8 is on the way. This is most likely our last baby since I have so much trouble with pre term labor. I am very excited about our newest little family member! Though I must admit that having stair-steps less than a year apart scares me more than having my twins did!

My other children are all hoping for a little boy so that we will have 4 boys and 4 girls. I have to admit that I have this feeling it's going to be a little girl. Though I've been wrong just about every time... So maybe that's a good sign.

Dialy Logs (most recent first)

Wed 11-21-07 My nurse came and gave me my injection. She normaly does pretty good but today it hurt for some reason and now it still smarts. Ouch! Any way I'm cramping alot...Like I'm gonna start my period. Which would be fine but I'm contracting also. Not a good sign. I thik I'm gonna have to break down and at least call my nurse. I don't really see staying out of the hospital much longer. I can litterally feel how weak and tired my body's getting.

The older kids had a rough night last night. Gabie had a kicking screeming melt down for my sister. I felt bad for two reasons... My sister had to deal with it and I couldn't be there to deal with Gabie. I knew it was because he was over tired and missing me and John, and I couldn't even give him a hug. Talk about heart breaking. When I finally talked to him on the phone I told him to give Shanni (my sister) a big hug and pretend she was me. He did and she sat and rocked him for a while. I am so thankful to have a sister that loves my children so much. I don't know what we'd do if she wasn't taking care of them.

Mon 11-19-07 LONELY...Bored...Depressed...Worried...Pick an ajective... they all fit. I want to cry but no tears are comming right now. I wonder if I might actually be dehydrated or something beccause my body is still shuddering from time to time. I keep going through spells of anger and sorrow. I can't believe that I've sent my children away! I feel horrible. Last night I was trying to imagine going out to pick them up. I did some calculating and I could be in Indiana by Thursday. Then I could be home with them by Sunday or Monday. Of course I cant just up and go but I miss them so much! I realized last night that I couldn't hug any of them and that was much deeper than an emational pain. It's amaizing you hear phrases your whole life about how some ones "Arms ache" and that's exactly what I'm expiriencing.

I thought loosing out first little boy was painful and I don't discount that pain at all. But it makes me so thankful that I haven't lost a child I've grown to know. because I'm sure that my current pain would only be magnified ten fold. I honestly couldn't live with out my angels on earth. I don't even know how I'm going to make it a whole month. I couldn't imagine living like this for the rest of my life.

I began contracting last night. I was trowing up too. I'm not sur if one was caused by the other or not. I just know that I'm really upset and not really able to sleep as it is. Last night was horrible and I began getting upset because I was worried it wouldn't stop. That didn't help things that's for sure. Any way I called my nurse at about 4:30 and she let me add another dose of medication. That helped a bit. I was finally able to fall asleep at about 5:30.

I'm so worried about this baby. I'm scared that something is going to go horribly wrong! I just want ALL of my babies safe at home with me so that I can love and teach them.

Sat 11-17-07 You always see those sad seen in commercals or movies where the Mother is crying because the children have to go away for what ever reason. I now know how that feels. My 5 oldest babies left to fly to Indiana with their daddy today. It was all I could do not to fall apart in front of them while they were getting on the plane. I held nothing back the entire time they were getting on the runway and by the time they took off I was sobbing so much that airport employees were asking me if I was okay.

I feel so horrible. Almost like I've chosen one child over the others. I'm not crying anymore. Right now I feel numb. I found my self wondering if this is how my cousin felt when her 8 month old baby passed...Though I know that this can't even compair! My children will be back in a month or so and hopefully have a healthybaby sister. In a way I feel like I'm being dramatic or something because I'm so upset. But I just feel so terrible about the situation.

I really hope this is all worth it. I hope this earns us a few more weeks of pregnancy because if not I will just die. The only reason we're doing this is so that we can have a healthier baby. Only time will tell if our plan has worked.

Thurs 11-15-07 I'm 29 weeks today! I woke up contracting but that's nothing out of the norm. I probably would be fine except that the lady we've hired for Thursday help called and is really sick so she won't be able to come today. I could handle that too but now I have 5 of 7 kids throwing up with diareah. That makes the day not so good.

John is supposed to fly to Indiana with the five oldest kids on Saturday. I hope that they are all better for the plane trip. Poor John can handle it but I just hope he doesn't have too. Not to mention that the kids will be miserable if they're on the plane while they're sick. AND I'd really rather not be responsible for the next flu epidemic in Indiana! Oh well, I guess all we can do is pray and hope they're over it by then.

Mon 11-12-07 Great News! I went to my apointment and every thing looks good. I think the Doctor is happy that I'm on the pump and we're managing the contractions. He checked me and said that I was unchanged! Yipeeee! The best part is that there were several times in our conversation when he said "when you get to 32 weeks" That's a BIG change from our last visit where there were a lot of "If-you-make-its"!

I'm still on bed rest though :( and we're still planning planing on sending the kiddies to my sister in Indiana :( :(

My husband and I REALY don't want them to go! Tonight my Malachi (5) had a bit of a melt down and cried and cried. He doesn't want to go. So, we're considering letting him stay here but we don't know what the right thing to do is. It's heart breaking to see your kids suffer and not to be able to do any thing about it. He'll be miserable if he goes because he won't have Mommy and Daddy but if he stays he won't have his daily play mates and he'll be super lonely! I just don't know what to do.

Sat 11-10-07 Well my husband and I have a plan... We are sending our 5 oldest children to my sister all the way in Indiana until mid December. Every time I think about how far away they're going to be I just start crying but to be honest, there's no one i trust more (other than my husband and me) to take care of them. Then We'll only need help with the two youngest out here. It's a whole lot easier to find help for two children then it is for seven.

It breaks my heart to think about how far away they're going to be but on the other hand I feel like that might buy us the few more weeks we want out of this pregnancy. It will be like a vacation to my 3 oldest but I am a little worried about my two younger boys. Chi really likes the idea of going but he keeps telling me he wants me to go with him. If that doesn't rip your heart out I don't know what will. Part of me keeps saying that it's only for a month but the other part wants to scream and cry.

Thurs 11-8-07 Well, my 29th birthday has come and gone! The baby is well on it's way, and I was just set up with my Turbutiline (sp?) pump and at-home monitoring system today. I had a quick trip to the hospital a week ago tomarrow and as far as they could tell I wasn't any further dialated than I have been. I am so worried about this baby and PRAYING that we make it to 32 weeks. I don't think I could handle loosing her! (By the way we found out it's a girl!) Last night I was contracting a lot. With every little move she made I would cry because I kept picturing a NICU stay...and a lot worse! I want to be positive but I also feel this NEED to be practical and prepared for the worst.

Mon 10/29/07 I know it looks like I haven't written in a couple of months but the truth is that I have but some how it was lost...Any way, I was put on bed rest this afternoon! I'm at a 2 and about 65 to 70 % effaced. At 26 weeks that's a little scary. I'll write more as time goes on.

Fri 8/31/07 Well any concerns I had about the baby not kicking so much have subsided. Not that it's going crazy or anything but I like that I'm feeling him or her regularly. I got hit with a horrible head ache yesterday and it still hasn't gone away. My husband and I decided that we'd postpon my prog. shot for this week because we were afraid it would only make my headache worse. When I called the Dr. for advise they basically said that I should go to the ER. ButI chose not to because I didn't want to wait for 8 hrs to have a Dr tell me that I had a head ach and I could go home :(

Once again I am not sleeping tonight. Any one els having that problem. I've been pregnant 19 times and I've never dealt with not being able to sleep! I've always had the opposite problem...Not being able to sleep enough! Oh well I guess it's true what they say about every pregnancy being different.

Mon 8/27/07 Not much kicking going on here. Just the little I felt on Thursday and a couple more here and there. The days seem to be DRAGGING by! It's taking forever to get to 18 weeks. Although my sister pointed out that with my history I'm already half way through mu pregnancy. Of course I'm not sure if that's something to be happy about. If it was just that I always had my babies early I'd be fine but I hate all of the things that come with that. Bed rest, the MAG, the c-section (and recovery)The baby in the NICU, Leaving the hospital with out them...I'm just not looking forward to any of that. Ijust want this tiny baby to be healthy and strong and to be able to come home when I do.

Thurs 8/23/07 I'm so excited my baby REALLY kicked this morning! I've been feeling flutters for a while now but this was truly a kick! I guess it's kinda' fitting because I turned 17 weeks today! Happy Birthday "Baby"! I've also come the decision that I am not going to find out what this baby is! I'm kind of excited about it! It will be nice to have a surprise! I can't believe how even though I've been pregnant so many times it's all still so exciting and new to me. You'd think it would get old after a while but that is not the case for me!