| lilgracie | |
 | Age: 29 Country: United States Province/region: The South!!!! City: Atlanta Partner: Husband Wynn Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: College Instructor |
| Online: 11 hours ago. Last updated: 237 days ago. Member since: 328 days | |
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Hiya!
I'm Beth, my husband is Wynn. I teach at a private college and am an opera singer (although I closed my last show in February and don't plan on doing another one until well after Gracie is here). My husband works in computer technology. However, when he tries to explain to me what he actually does my brain shuts down.
We are both really into tattoos, books, thai food, good music, movies, God, cars, politics and educating the public on pitbulls. However not necessarily in that order.
We got married in August and were pregnant by September! We're having a little girl named Catherine Grace (Gracie) and couldn't be more thrilled!!!!
We have been so absolutely blessed, especially with the sheer volume of couples who spend thousands of dollars trying to get pregnant. God has smiled upon us! He not only brought us together at the perfect time but He also saw fit to add another life to our family.
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." -C.S. Lewis
| Pregnancy Survey | |
| About You | |
| Name?: | Beth |
| Age?: | 29 |
| Height?: | 5'9" |
| About The Father | |
| Name?: | Wynn |
| Age?: | 33 |
| Height?: | 6'2" |
| Are you still together?: | happily hitched |
| About Your Pregnancy | |
| Is this your first pregnancy?: | Yep |
| When did you find out you were pregnant?: | Don't have my planner from last year with me but it was the DAY my period was due back in October. I absolutely knew. |
| Was it planned?: | We like to say that we weren't NOT trying if you get my drift. Just kind of threw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may. |
| What was your first reaction?: | sitting on the edge of the tub: 'oh my gosh oh my gosh what have we done I'm not ready holy s**t holy s**t take it back!' then after a couple of deep breaths I was completely floored. |
| Who was with you when you found out?: | alone in the bathroom |
| Who was the first person you told?: | Wynn |
| How did your parents react?: | They are both suuuuper excited |
| How far along are you?: | 19 weeks 1 day |
| What was your first symptom?: | sliiiiightly sore boobs, weird cramps. Like I said before I just knew even before my period was late. |
| What is your due date?: | June 10 2008 but I'm hoping she'll either come on Wynns birthday, June 5 or on Friday the 13th (which is also my father-in-laws birthday)!!! How rad would that be? |
| Do you know the sex of the baby?: | A GIRL! A rad little girl named Gracie!!! |
| If so, what is it?: | see above |
| Have you picked out names?: | clearly, yes |
| If so, what are they?: | Catherine Grace and if it had been a boy William Henry and we'd call him either Henry or Hank. |
| How much weight have you gained?: | none yet but I'm eating healthier than pre-pregnancy and still working out just as much |
| Do you have stretch marks?: | nope! But my mama doesn't either so genetically I'm in good shape. |
| Have you felt the baby move?: | YES! She's doing wicked karate kicks in there or something and I poke back when she pokes. |
| Have you heard the heartbeat?: | Yes many times! I have to go every other week until 22 weeks to have my cervix measured via U/S because of a previous surgery so I get to see her and hear the heartbeat all the time. Plus we have so many more pictures than other expecting mamas. It rules. |
| About the birth | |
| Will you keep the baby?: | LORD yes!!! |
| Home or hospital birth?: | Hospital all the way |
| Natural or medicated birth?: | Natural. Possible (albeit a very small chance) complications from the epidural scare me more than the pain. |
| Who will be in the delivery room with you?: | Wynn and my mama |
| Will you breastfeed?: | I really hope so. It seems like so many of my friends who have had babies have had such a hard time with it (ie: milk not coming in, baby not latching on at all or incorrectly, etc) |
| Do you think you'll need a c-section?: | I'm praying I won't. I've got some hips but Wynn has a big ole melon head and we were both over 9 lbs at birth. I've witnessed friends go through c-section recovery and it does NOT look like something I'd like to experience. |
| Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: | Like Niagra Falls |
| What's the first thing you might say to him/her?: | I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you |
| Would you let someone videotape the birth?: | maybe shots of me from the waist up but no filming of the groceries. |
| Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: | I'm very, very excited. |
Comments on lilgracie`s Profile
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Comments 26-50 to lilgracie
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erica93 - Thursday, 28 August
Hello everyone...just wanted to update you all on Isabella. She is now three months old and has her first cold! Sneezing, stuffy nose, and coughing. Mom has the cold, too. Probably from lack of sleep! She wanted to eat every hour yesterday evening and last night. Maybe she is going through a growth spurt! She weighed 12 lbs today at the doctor. How are you all doing?
nmck - Saturday, 23 August
Woah!!! I am impressed that his school seems so proactive. It sounds like you guys took some great steps to do what he needs and it is only the second week of school. That is fabulous. In my district you would have had to fight for that! It sucks to know that he is so far behind, but there has to be something behind that other than just laziness or lack of motivation/accountability. I think it is fabulous that he is getting an IEP already. I know it is way more stress than you need at this point but it is so awesome of you to care about this little boy and be taking steps to help him catch up. It sounds like he really needs you guys.
ll bree ll - Friday, 22 August
doesnt that make you almost sick now that youve had a baby and stuff? i cant even think about it. bleh. oh how i envy you..not having to talk about poop, laundry, feedings..ughh. im so unpligged to the outside world. its depressing! :[
ll bree ll - Thursday, 21 August
the craigslist around here isnt the greatest. and i wouldnt buy a used one from people around here. you never know what drugs could have fallen on it lol. seriously, these people are insane. i had to go to wic to give them the note from the doctor for olivia to be on soy, and this girl walked in, pregnant, 10:30am, and smelled like she already had 2 packs of cigs. the lady next to me fanned her nose hahah. i was in shock. i mean, im sure its hard to quit for pregnancy, but cut down! ahh. oh well. not my baby lol. are you or have you gone back to work?
ll bree ll - Wednesday, 20 August
does she like it?? i want one, but 40 bucks for a chunk of foam :/ i dont know. maybe if i had an extra 40 bucks lol. i think if i got her an exersaucer she would like it right now :/ but the one i want is 100 bucks!
nmck - Wednesday, 20 August
Aww, I just read about how awful your day has been. You are dealing with a lot of stress. A 10 year old with a potential learning disability is not what you need right now. I too cry when I see the preemie clothes at walmart!! I will say a prayer for you. I wish I could do more.
Ok, lets say they test your kid, and he is really low. They think being on a third grade level is all he is capable of. If that is the case, though he struggles in math and reads below grade level, he is achievement matches his ability, therefore no learning disability is present. They call them "Low Ability, Low Achievers" If they test him and they think he is not achieving what he is capable of, and his achievement is 2 years behind, they will identify him as having a learning disability. I know what you are thinking and I agree that is BS. If a school ever tells me my kid is just a low ability low achiever i will prostitute on nights and weekends to afford a private test! Does this make sense?
venusenvy - Wednesday, 20 August
Hey there.
Read your earlier post and I just wanted to drop you a line. It is so good that you reached out when in the bowels of emotional/hormonal/life difficulty. I really hope your midwife has called you back by now. Given that you have a shit load, no a mighty, super shit load on your plate right now - she hopefully will be able to prescribe or say or support you right now. It makes perfect sense that you would feel how you do keeping all of those plates spinning in mid-air. It takes a hellova alotta balls to say that you need some help keeping them going - and I don't know why men take that as a sign that we're 'cracking up.' Believe me I got that too. I snapped at him about saying things like that so much that Matt termed it "Postpartum aggression!"
Listen, I am sure that you will find a way to make this all managable, whether its medicated or not. It's okay to feel overwhelmed - this is overwhelming in the "best" of circumstances (ie pampered with night nannies, personal chefs, and exercises that you do in your sleep!).Please keep me posted and know that if you do drive and run out of gas in MI - you've got a place to stay. LOL :)
thebigtomato - Wednesday, 20 August
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I was really down there for a couple of weeks, but I've been better now. I hope it passes quickly for you too!
Grace - Tuesday, 19 August
oh i'm so sorry you're having a bad day, i know exactly what you're talking about-being so overwhelmed with things to do and getting much of nothing accomplished because of that stress. just take it one thing at a time and give yourself lots of credit for it and move to the next thing, it'll give you that umph, or satisfaction to go at another thing, focus on the positive that you have accomplished one thing instead of seeing it as you have so much left that's not done. i've been extremely emotional lately wanting to cry every night when kids are asleep because of time going so fast and not being able to get it back, how these precious moments are lost in time and only have a memory of it and fear of forgetting. I don't know if it post partum depression or pms. But it feels horrible either way.
I hope you feel better.
nmck - Tuesday, 19 August
Yes, sounds like something is wrong to me. Either he was allowed to just space out and never held accountable before (by mom or his old school) or he has some kind of learning issue.
Honest to goodness, if he was my kid I would want him tested immediately for two reasons. If he has a learning disability, I would want it to be identified as quickly as possible and these thing take time. If he gets identified, he will get an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that will legally bind his teacher to tailor his assignments to meet his needs. He will also have help from a learning support teacher, which it sounds like he may need. This might not be too big of a deal in 5th grade, but will make a world of difference in middle school.
I would want him to be tested ASAP so that he has a greater chance of showing a difference between ability and achievement before you and your husband start working with him a lot.
ALSO, the way they decided if a kid has a learning disability is kind of crazy. It does not matter if he is doing things on a 3rd grade level if that is what the tests say his ability is. There has to be a two year discrepancy between ABILITY and ACHIEVEMENT. Sometimes, I have serious doubts about the school districts performing the tests themselves.
It will take months to get test results. You will know him a lot better by then. If you are convinced he has a learning problem, and the school says he does not, it is in your best interests to have him tested privately by a child psychologist. If your psychologist concludes that he does indeed have a learning disability, the school MUST honor those tests results. The problem is a lot of parents can not afford to have their kids tested privately.
These are things I deal with a lot because I get the learning support and slower kids every year. It kills me that I can't give parents this kind of advice, I would lose my job.
Do you think he seems like a smart kid when you have conversations with him?
nmck - Tuesday, 19 August
Hey! I teach 5th grade. He should be able to do sums inside and out. You (or your hubs) needs to talk to his teacher and find out if she thinks he is behind.
If he was my stepson and I had any doubts about his abilities, this is exactly what I would do: Write a letter to his teacher. Clearly state in the letter that you want him to be tested for learning disabilities. DATE THE LETTER at the top. Make three copies. Keep one. Send one to the teacher, one to the principal, and one to the guidance counselor. Under federal law, the school is legally bound to test him at your request, and they are legally bound by the date you write on the letter. They have something like 45 school days from the date on the letter.
Otherwise, schools try to get out of testing kids. They will try other kinds of "interventions" first, which may or may not work. I would go directly to testing if I was the parent. You may have to get your husband to write the letter.
Please let me know if this advice makes sense! I also have some other simple tips on how to help him succeed but seriously you should not be doing this alone every night. I can understand how frustrating that would be!!
I don't want to go on and on, but I can explain why it is beneficial to get him tested now from the teacher's point of view if you want to know. Good luck, hon.
thebigtomato - Tuesday, 19 August
lilgracie - My best friend Staci went through a similar experience with her step-daughter Alexus. When Alexus was about 9 or 10 they started getting more visitation and being more involved and Staci was HORRIFIED at how behind Alexus was. She began working with her on her homework (and it was long hours of work like you describe) and within a year, Alexus was caught up. But, Staci didn't have her baby yet at the time!
venusenvy - Tuesday, 19 August
That's the sad thing, many parents don't really realize what they are(nt) teaching their kids in the long-run b/c they lack the skills themselves. Love truly comes in all forms. I've seen many parents, even friends of mine, get really invested in wanting to be their kids friend.
I certainly want Callum to like me, but I know there are things I will have to do that will make me highly unpopular, yet for his own good. And I so desperately do not want my child to turn into this 21st century cesspool of technology-obsessed, fast-food consuming, ambition-lacking, early sex-having, horrible hair-cut having, lacking in personality adolescent movement that appears to be sweeping the nation - AND is encouraged by the ever-present media that seems to dictate wayyyy too much these days.
I know as a PO I see a very different side of it, but I do spend a considerable amount of time in the schools, and am sorry to report that video-games and McD's are the order of the day. Thank you for rescuing another one! I want him to read, to think, and play outside for God's sake (where on earth have all the children playing outside gone??).
I became a PO b/c it was my internship during my master's and I was hired in once I graduated. I'm sure it was no coincidence that I ended up there - I love it and really like having the opportunity to work with kids in that capacity. The system is becoming increasingly punitive (not to anyone's benefit necessarily) and it's nice to be able to somewhat buffer that.
venusenvy - Tuesday, 19 August
That is so incredibly frustrating! For you and your stepson.
I'm a juvenile probation officer and I swear that most of these kids biggest problem is their parents. Either their own shitty example that they set, total narcissism/ neglect, abuse, you name it and the kid pays in the long-run. It is such a good thing that he is in a household like yours. And you're right, it is really telling that he chose love and structure over the free-for-all at his moms. Wow. You're doing a great job though. And you can think all the horrible things you need to in your head, drowning your sorrows at the bottom of a cookie sheet (LOL) - but you sound as though you are holding it together for him, and that's really what counts. Job well done.
Now....on to the Jager. Wouldn't mind some myself! Had half of a PBR earlier and it was fantastic, though I can't overdo it b/c I've got the wee one on my taps. And you're right - doing shots is no fun when there is more than lying on the couch expected of you the next day. The thought of having a hangover and a baby is horrifying! :)
venusenvy - Tuesday, 19 August
Well that's just fantastic..... Callum has his hands in fists all the time! :)
I know what you mean. It is so easy to scare ourselves. I have actually felt paralyzed with fear at times since he was born and made these bizarre deals with God to throw a truckload at me, as long as my baby is spared. Then I remember that I won't get more than I can handle, even when it isn't the way I would've written the script.
I made myself so crazy in the early days, both during pregnancy and after, that I put myself on a Google ban - no looking up anything to do with the baby unless I had been handed a diagnosis by a credible person. It has worked, for the most part. I'm back on it now, although I confess I looked up infant signs of autism. Thanks a lot!!! :)
That's where I realize that we are going to have to watch life happen to our little ones. The mean friends, scraped knees, visits to the dentist, broken hearts, not making the team - the list goes on. I see our job as making home a safe haven, where they can be little superstars (with accountability of course!).
venusenvy - Monday, 18 August
That's so funny!
Matt said that my delivery room looked like a crime scene when he came back in while I was in the shower. I actually skipped off of the table (superhero force after 34hrs of labor. I can only WISH I had that type of stamina in my daily life) - my epidural's effectiveness was also long gone, so my legs actually worked. The amount of blood was staggering. Though nothing really compares to dropping to the floor and I imagine you had nothing on your under-carriage to make that moment even more enjoyable. Yikes!!
The first thing I did was get my mom to sneak some sandwiches from the nourishment room - at our hospital you delivered on one floor and recovered on another. There was my poor mother with sandwiches and jello sticking out of her purse, as I was wheeled down the hallway!
I was scared of my vagina for about 5 wks. I would gingerly wash it and poked around in the mirror a few times (stage II tear), but nothing too invasive. I told my girlfriends that I felt like someone had forced it to run a marathon and then beat it up! And let's not forget the hemorrhoids, those sneaky little bastards. None during pregnancy, none during delivery, and then BOOM....there they were about two weeks later. So now I was scared of both my front and back butts! I am happy to report that they have since subsided, though I hear from my mom-friends that they never truly go away. The gift that keeps on giving! - I'm sure your day is now complete with that knowledge. lol
Heck, I would flash Congress for him if I had to! It is overwhelming and sometimes frightening too. In our first few days home I was told to check his temp. every day. That alone almost drove me to drink....one thermometer was low, the other high, I was overdressing the daylights out of the poor boy. Eegads! For the most part I have my neurosis under control. Though just yesterday I asked Matt if he thought Callum had cerebral palsy b/c sometimes his little leg shakes and he often sticks out his tongue. Maybe once a day or so and the tongue thing isn't excessive, but still these crazy thoughts invade my usually peaceful mind. I just never imagined that love could come this big, this fast, and this all-encompassing. You know?
ll bree ll - Monday, 18 August
lol, but i feel so dumb being upset about something like that. i guess i dont want here being an outcast so much as fitting in. i never fit in the middle of everyone, and i sort of hated it. i dont really want her to feel the way i did. i havent been on my meds since i got pregnant with her, and im starting to think maybe i should be again? im not depressed or unhappy..but im bleh. im thinking of starting college again but online til shes in school? it seems i need change more often than normal :/
venusenvy - Monday, 18 August
I couldn't agree more! Want to shout it from the rooftops! They are the most amazing things!!
I literally cannot get over it at any given moment throughout the day how much I love/adore this little person and am so very blessed that he came to us! It's crazy this kind of love - good crazy, not flash people on the bus crazy. :)
I can hardly get through singing a lullaby without crying by the end...it just really chokes me up that those words have such personal meaning now. I saw in an earlier post that you play Tori Amos (who I have long loved) on the piano for your daughter, that must be an emotional one. I wonder if you can get through 'Ribbons Undone' without your throat closing by the end. I was singing him her version of 'Livin' on a Prayer' and could not make it through the chorus. Ah Callum, you're mom's a huge sap!
My two most favorite moments of my labor/delivery (well comically speaking) came during my 2.5 hours of pushing (that is cruel!!). After pooping the table I loudly proclaimed "DON'T THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT EVERYONE IN THE ROOM ARE NOW MOUTH-BREATHERS!!"
My second moment was towards the end, when I was a limp doll being propped up by my kick-ass labor team for each contraction. Everyone began to get really excited about beginning to see the baby's head. To which I respond, "I don't give a f*ck about his head! I give a f*ck about his body!! Where the hell is the rest of him!!! Get him out!!!!" To this day I wish that was on film. ;)
But you're right, as soon as he was out I was golden. This crazy surge of relief/excitement/pride....adrenaline?? comes over you and you're instantly as right as rain. Cal had to go down to the NICU right away b/c I spiked a fever during labor and my heart rate shot up to OVER 200 bpm's! His dad was with him, so I was surprisingly very okay with it. Matt still tells the story of being blown away when he came back into the room and I was getting stitched up while telling all the nurses where I got my sexy black nursing bra.
You know, they should have given you a pump in the hospital - it made my milk come in so much faster. He just wouldn't latch on at first b/c the bottle is so much easier and he wasn't interested in working for his grub. We hashed it out one afternoon and he's been quite the boob man ever since. I would've gone to formula too though, the important thing is that they are fed. And it seems as though she is sleeping much more than he is through the night, so that at least is a blessing. Trust me!
venusenvy - Monday, 18 August
We had a rough go at bfing too (when I write that abbreviation it always looks like 'barfing' to me...). Callum had blood sugar issues and had to go to the NICU, so he was bottle fed. You know, I was reading your birth story and it is eerily similar to mine. Induction, epidurals ( I had mine after 24 hrs of labor and could not stop talking about my infinite love for the epi - and the morphine), by the end of it all I was pleading with my midwife to 'pull him out'! Goodness what an adventure.
nmck - Monday, 18 August
I can imagine how much stress there is for you. I know my little guy was really fussier than most babies, but I am not sure how I would be doing if Bobby didn't get home at 6 most nights. It is even less stressful just knowing someone else is in the house in case I can't take it anymore. So I will say a prayer that your husband gets the local job too!!
venusenvy - Sunday, 17 August
You know what's funny?
My first instinct was that I was having a boy and then I let myself get talked out of it. I actually had a dream years ago where I am convinced that I met my children - and oddly enough my first born was a boy. Sounds crazy.
What's even crazier is that I had a dream about Callum early on in my pregnancy and he looks just as he does now. No joke. Same Sid Vicious Hair, chubby face, and sky blue eyes. His dad swears he did too.
I'm also psyched to get my arm finished - I like to say that I was one of the unfortunate majority who fell victim to an armband in the 90's. LOL This one is actually a cover-up job, I used to have arabic script (I grew up in the Middle East) around my arm saying "There but by the grace of God go I." I love the saying, but the tattoo was crap and I intend to get the improved script elsewhere. I do want to get the dove with a banner in his mouth that says 'Callum' - unsure as to how the white will go over with my pastiness (wow, that is a word!).
I love the hummingbird idea!! Such an delicate, yet powerful bird. We're big tattoo buffs ourselves and I can't wait to get back in the chair - just need to figure out the safety of tattooing and bfing. It seems like the jury is out.
nmck - Sunday, 17 August
Wow! I wonder how his mom feels about that. That is so much on your plate! I will say a prayer for your sanity, and that your hubs won't have to travel anymore.
nmck - Sunday, 17 August
Thanks! Hey, did your stepson decide if he is staying with you guys when school starts?
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