HE'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!

birth story coming soon guys, just wanted to do a quick update while he's sleeping.

**Just some bkground info on me =] **

Just some basics on me, my names Tricia but everyone calls me trish.. & i live in hot sexy miami..im mixed puerto rican &nd black..but dont speak a bit of spanish. i graduated from a private school [yes the catholic school girl rumors are true! my high school was full of pill poppin pornstars lmao] i was on the girls basketball team untill my junior year when i traded my jersey in for a cute skirt and a french manicure lol. Anywho, being that im mixed i like a lof of different things & i have many sides..i love tupac n t-pain but the next day u might catch me jamming to celine dion or panic at the disco. im just a really open minded & random person.. so i usually get along with everyone..Just alittle more..im christian and a strong believer of treating people right..even if they treat you like sh*t because i believe as long as you remain godly when life [karma] comes back around your going to be blessed for doing the right thing. anywho..i cant think of anything else to add at the moment..except that i love starbucks carmel fraps xtra whip n extra ice :-D [been staying away from them tho =( ..] and my fav resturant is either Panera bread or Dennyz...

me & my daddy ;)

My babys story

As for my little chubby [the baby's nickname till i found out the sex]..s/he "became"...on sept 15th 2007 and i found out on the 30th..didnt feel sick and hadnt missed my af yet..just had a pregnancy test laying around..n said..hmmmm... i wonder [because i had Baby dancing without 'baby stoppers' if u catch my drift] and sure enuff! it was postive! i dropped my jaw n ran to my room were my bestfriend was..dragged her into the bathroom n shoved it at her lol [kinda gross now that i realize] lol we both jus stood there dumbfounded..lyk NO!? i cant be! am i !! so i instantly aimed the dad{Graig} n his words were.."im bout to go on the field..ill aim u later" {plays college football} (ouch) so me n my besty names shyala by the way {shy-la} hopped in my little puttputt n headed for his school..stopping at dennys on the way to kill time..plus i was kind of hungry =) none the less still n shock! (because yeah Graig and i had been doing the BD very unresponsibly..but we had been doing it for over 5 months on a weekly bases & after awhile we just figured..maybe we cant have kids) anywho when i got there..he didnt say 2 words..no hey baby kiss, hardly eye contact!!! & i was there for almost an hour, talking to my bestfriend and watching will & grace {GOD I LOVE THAT SHOW!} n he was just texting and folding clothes, ignoring us like we werent in the room..so i said "So your just not going to say anything..like AT ALL?!" silence..afta being pissed for about anutha 10mins and staring at him thinking of the easiest way to take him out with no evidence ..we just got up and left. he later aimed me said why did i bring shyala becasue he wasnt going to talk in front of her. (which is b/s because he could have easily said trish can we go outside...or can u give me n trish a minute ANYTHING! ...so thats how this started n our love ended..from that day on it was "were not ready for a baby"..."god will forgive you".."your going to ruin both of our lifes" etc..needless to say i knew better, so that abortion crap flew in one ear n out the other i wasnt going to abort our baby just because he was scared and didnt want to man up..hell i wasnt ready for a kid either, {fresh out of high school taking a few college classes, partying NON stop, working at abercrombie & fitch the nigth shift (sucha cool job but not any real money..) living at home w. my parents..etc} but i was woman enough make that baby so it was time to "man" up & take care of him/her.

He on the other did a 180 on me and changed, i no longer received the i love messages 10 times a day..we no longer went out to eat every tuesday & friday, stopped all our movie, beach and other crazy dates and i became the girl who was ruing his life..he started saying all kinda stuff to me, about how hed respect me if i got an abortion & how i have no nothing go for myself..and even had his momma try and talk me out of it.. it hurt me pretty badly. Mainly because when having a baby came up way before i was pregnant in conversations, he was all for it and would say how pretty are little girl would be or how he would play w. football w. our son lol oh and how id have to give up my burgerking diet etc because he wanted a strong healthy baby.. and even if we didnt get married, wed be perfect parents.. hed always love us and take care of us..BLAH BLAH BLAH! so for him to flip the script on me..devastated me and i had no idea how he could be treating me this way..(you'll later found out why)

So im basically just now waiting to meet my little angel..it still hasnt really hit me yet..i mean im 4months and other than throwin up daily i dont look or feel pregnant...no belly..no kicks ..not glowing..nothin but sickness..plus i dnt know the sex..so its kinda hard to bond..dont get me wrong i LOVE my baby n cant wait to have him or her..im jus ready for a round belly and some kicks so it can really hit me that im going to be a mother..maybe if i see the ultrasound or buy a doppler..ill feel closer to my little chubby..anywho untill next time preggys..have a healthy pregnancy..lots of hugs n baby dust

OH YEAH the parents! how could i forget, mine were all so disappointed and heartbroken, they knew Graig and i were having sex but they thought i would be more responsible. my Dad was so disappointed & mad that i moved in w. my mom..(they all said aborting the baby was not an option which i already know..we dont get down like that in this family) My mom was a teenage mother so she could understand, and when she was pregnant with my older brother @ 16, she was treated badly and didnt want that to happen to me.. so she tried her best to be supportive and act like it didnt bother her. (moving was a big step for me though, i was raised by my dad & grandparents my whole life & while i visited my mom on weekends..'Memas house' {grandparents & dads house} was home.)

DeC 12tH

Ok so I'm not sure how this is going to work because I'm using my phone so bare with me..anyway..HEY preggys=) and those TTC ..hope all is well and everyones doing more than just getting by..as for me..I dont like to complain because I know I shoudnt..I'm truly blessed..but today was kind of a bad day...I found out i have HG hyperemesis Gravium {EXTREME morning sickness, were even water wont stay down} and I had to go to the ER..I coudnt eat and was losing to much weight..so my mom took me. & just my luck we ended up a non-maternal hospital..(didn't know they even had those) but yeah so anyway..after the nurses were short & not sweet they stuffed me in a room..which was filthy! I mean dried up blood spots on the floor..wrappers everywhere..hair on the bed..wait it wasn't even a bed it was an GYN observation table..which was hard and small, I felt lyk a giant (and im only 5'4!)..then on top that they left me there for over an hour with out checking on me..and my mom was on the phone the whole time..needless to say I felt depressed & alone..

I feel so helpless :( I can't even make my own meal right now..but I honestly cant help it..i was around 145 before prego now im 136..which is def bad because i cant even function without medz (zofran)..& even with them i still throw up around 3 or 4 times a day n because of that..im weak.. so anywho wen the nurse finally came..she cudnt find my vein..& poked me about 4 times not to mention jiggled the needle..I haven't cried since I was a kid with needles but the tears just flowed today..maybe I was just emotional..well she finally put one in my hand and it stayed..i wanted to bite her head off but she was sweet lol n aplogized for making me cry..i told her its was ok and i dont even know why i was crying it doesnt even hurt that bad lol she said welcome to the wonderful world of pregnancy , back to the story they pumped with medz and fluids which i guess seemed to help and tried 2 make me eat mushy carrots ..pea soup and cold chicken..even if I wasn't sick..that's not my kind of meal..but I stuffed it down anyway for the baby..which I still dont know the sex of yet hoping 4 a girl wana name her imani which means faith...after a million questions and being poked around the belly sum more..they sent me home..

And that pretty much leads me to here...in my little bed..still lonely..mom still on the phone and all my friends out continuin there fast pace lifes=( ..no ones fault but my own..shoud have been way more responsible and a better judge of character..

update on dad same day

Still not doing to good, he hurt me pretty bad I was always there when he needed me..even when he did his 'dirt' and the instant I need him..he leaves me..and kicks me when im down. Now all of sudden hes treating me like im some random groupie he met at club or something who set him up to get rich.he never said that..he knows better but thats how he's treating me..and he makes it known that he has ALREADY moved on..i asked just the other day if i could come by his dorm because i had left my ipod, phone charger, and fav pillow the last time i visited him.. & he goes..:"naw ima have company so you gon have to wait"...now i dont know if you feel me on this but that was just completly disrespectful to me. & it hurt to know now only had he moved on, but he didnt care about my feelings enough to just spare the details..i didnt show it tho..dont want him to know i still give a dam about him. i even got so desperate that i made up sum imaginary man, just so i didnt feel like a big dorky loser..and i mean i could find sum "company" but i dont want anything that doesnt have a future and since pregnant i have raised my standards SOO much higher, i want a godly MAN...not a smooth talk 20 year old who sells me dreams...but watever ill live..got to, for my little angel and anything that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger right?=) hope so..i wanna be SUPERMOM *que theme music* so that mean i have to toughen up!

DeC 13

Good morning preggyz and ttc... No updates on my love yet..& Still no solid movements ...just very LIGHT little twitches every blue moon..but thats probably nothing but alittle gas lol. Anyway..I was jus was bored..and a little depressed (again i know i know, but if u only knew how my days where youd be sittn here crying with me)..so I came 2 vent..I feel really alone right now..well technically I kinda am all alone at the moment moms at work..baby sis is at school {she actually 16 so shes no baby but ya kno}..all my friends ..including my bff have just moved on with there life..which I cant be mad at. it jus sucks to kno that I'm really not THAT missed and life goes on without trish i mean yeah they text me or aim me but if it was the otha way around id be at there house passing out ben n jerry, belly rubs and watching the notebook all day..*sigh* i just wish i had a friend like that

then to add 2 it all.. the 'dad 2 be' ..is flying home 2maro and isn't comin back till mid january..and im honestly not in love with him anymore..but I do still love him..and want him to love me, & be here for me..& it really sucks because I always looked forward to spending christmas with him. But he seems to have a diff plan..he has a million groupies n 2 exgirlfriends back home waitin on him (who by the way have NO IDEA about me..did I forget 2 mention I along with the baby are his best kept secrets? Well we are..I mean his parents know..but everyone else is clueless and I'm sure he likes it that way..gets to have his cake n eat it too, have a baby in anutha state and then keep his exz head over heels, thinkin hes some1 hes not) and several times it has crossed my mind to tell them myself (myspace and aim) but I just cant bring myself to do so..1 because that pretty childish..and would start a million more problems bewtween me n him. anyway like I was saying.. so yeah he's goin home and is gunna miss christmas, new years..and my birthday not to mention the first u/s ..and he doesn't seem to care..and I hate myself for even havin feelings 4 sum1 like him..when its obvious he isn't the kind of man I need n my life..

Sorry my grandma {Mema} came over=) man I love that little old lady..she's my world..(she raised me, anutha story for anutha day though) she brong me ice cream and talked with me and cheered me up..now I'm sitn her in a bubble bath (heard they aren't that good for us preggys..is that true?) tryna focus on some movements from the little one..nothing yet =( maybe its still to soon for me..I'm ready to feel sum kicks! =) anywho ill post more later baby dust 2 all

Diff day

today is kinda one of those days were im scared to death about being a mom...yesterday i cudnt wait..today..i CAN...its going be so tough..and i want whats best for my baby so that means im gunna have to grow up over night..i gotta take care of a newborn and study my azz off so i can get a REALLY good job and give them everything they need and most of there wants, then im worried about spoiling chubby and she/he becomes ungreatful..then im worried about my baby growin up with a sumtimes dad..i mean so far Graig says hes gon be there 100% for his little one..but honestly im going be the one tucking chubby in everynight and fixing breakfest and if its a boy...im not sure i can raise a man..and a girl you have to be so protective with..but i dont wanna be over protective and not let my kids go outside lol..im just so in love with my chubby i dont want anything to go slighty wrong in his or her life..i dont even want her/him to cry wen they come out n get spanked{do they still do that?}..i might back hand the doctor..lol then its like..i dont think ima let chubby jus go off with daddy, n i know his fam in memphis are gunna wanna meet me lil one..but im not sure im comfortable with that*deep sigh* just so much to think about..

then its like what do i want do? at first i wanted to be an author, but i have only finished one story in my life out of the 100 i started..n i dont know if i can do with deadlines or being told what to write..THEN i wanted to be a wedding planner bcus i love girly things, planning and making ppl happy..but then everyone was sayin its not easy to make money unless your really known and its hard to get out there. there for im confused..i thought about bein a teacher but older kids r to dam fresh..n young kids..there fresh too..but i dnt kno if i have patience for 20 kids..plus i need a HIGH paying job..i might be raising alittle human all on my own. unless daddy makes it to the NFL ..then i can def do one of my dream careers & not worrying about feeding my baby frozen dinners everynight lol n even take sum of my preggy pals n there little babys on vacation!!! lol disney world anyone? lol buuut cant depend on him, gotta make do for me and my babycakes..anywho my lil sis is makin sum of her world famous burgers =) mmmmmmm..cant wait..i want it with the works..minus the onion..n tamato so the burger was great!! and so far it looks lyk its staying down! {anutha chessey smile} but im about to call it a night as far as the updates..so till 2maro lol ta-ta 4 now preggys! goodnight ladys!!!

ok so im back..and i tried to change the page up alittle..ryt now im currently..listenin to eminem...(got in headphones of course dnt want chubby comin out all angry) lol but yeh i started fellin really sappy and was gunna call graig so instead i popped in the marshall mathers cd and am currently jammin to song KIM..in the song hes pretty much killing his ex because she did him wrong..so yes i am fantasin about doin the same to the loser lmao..next on the playlist is eamon song...lol anyway on 2 more important things..i have the strongest craving for sum garlic rolls..not the kind that come frozen i want sum from a real resturant..sum real pizza 2..dnt get me wrong papa john is my husband..i jus have a taste for some REAL food..sumthin that takes time and patience..im also madly in love with fanta strawberry soda [no worries its caffine sp? free] anywho today been a very chill day..i havent stepped one foot out the front door tho lol n i was sick only once today so hand claps for me *big wide smile* so yeah i had a chill day jus talked to my fav prego girls today and vented alil..but utha den that..pretty mellow day..im sooo lookin forward to a kick =( ..

DeC 17tH

got sum updates ..but kinda feelin sick..so ill catch u ladys up wen i feel alil betta..hope all is well

quick update..

i look a MESS...my face is breaking out..n there not really pimples jus bumps..i feel lyk signin up 4 proactive =( n the perm i had las week back fired SO badly..i looks like i got one big dread =( it seriously has never been this nappy not to mention i cut it a month ago to look older so now i got a short nappy mess :'( PLUS im wearin my old clothes..n they dnt fit..were gunna go downstairs n wash later..so i got on a pooh bear shirt..n sum pants i cnt button up..plus hair grows so fast! n my legs look lyk wolverine lol..ok not that bad..but bad..not to mention im used to gettn my nails toe n eyebrows dun every month n i havent had anything dun since b4 prego! almost 5months ago..can we say burt n ernie?? lol..i need to do so oo much betta!!!! feelin ok today tho=) spit up once...yall mus b prayin for me =) i love u guys..BUT its 1:30 got an appt at 2 ill update more wen i get bak

atrip: i think i need one of your pole dancin makeovers! lol need to get my sexy back =)

UPDATE!

DeC 20th

hey all sorry it took me so long to give an update..but im sure you all now how the m/s can be..so that had me n bed for a few days..anywho! i went to the doctor the other day and they didnt say much..did the routine here pee in this ill be bak in an hour deal...they did take sum blood though..and i got to hear the heartbeat afta bout 5mins..i was so worried..but chubby was jus sittn extra low..other than that, nothing new =( ..they scheduled me for an ultrasound!!! january 2nd (which jus so happens to be my BIRTHDAY =) wat a nice gift right!?) so yeah im def lookn forward to that..

right now im choppin down on a snicker (pure heaven! at the rate im goin ima get me a nice little belly soon) i was starin n the mirror today lukin at this thing i call my body =( and i feel SOOOO unsexy..i dont think it will ever be the same..my hips have spread! n so has my waist..i mean i was never beyonce or anything but i liked my shape..i was wearin small shirts n wearin size 8 or 9 pants..and that was only because i have long legs and a black & puerto rican booty (which has DISAPPEARED :'( come bak!!) plus my mom was my size before kids..she said she lost her figure afta my baby sis ..but i dnt kno =-/ and shes not huge or anything but she is thick..am i bein shallow? i hope not. but its how i feel..

anywho as for "babydaddy"...*BIG EXHALE N UGLY EYE ROLL*

where do i start..he has his days..were hes lyk "hows my baby doin, wat did yall do today" then he has other days where hes like "F************* why me!" now he does say this to me..but the main way we communicate is through AIM (instant messagin) so he puts hurtful shyt lyk that on his away message (like a written voicemail 4 instant messages)

k-prezzy & ash-wizzle: hope u guys r havin a good day..let me kno how goes it.. *hugs to zoe n mckenzie*

the donor

DEC 27TH

hey everyone.. been awhile since i lasted updated..my xmas was nice, lots of family n love..got sum nice things...utha then that jus the norm..i got a doppler but it was lyk one of the cheaper ones..so i havent rally heard the heartbeat..n i still havent felt movement =( im 17 weeks dnt wussup with that..but im not stressing i know my chubby is jus lazy lyk mommy n prob tucked away n a corner sleepin lol..anywho as for the dad..things r gettin better..surprised? yeh so was i..but my mom called his dad n they talked..n i guess his dad was lyk i kno u scared but its time to be a man..u got her in to this etc... so hes been aimin textin n callin and now tis not jus hows my baby..its how are you feeling? need money..i miss u big head..so its nice but i honestly lost alot of respect for him..so i dnt get mushy over jus words anymore...i appreciate him tryin to change..i jus gotta keep my guard up cus he can snap n leave me hurtn at anytime..anywho he still in memphis n i think his ex girlfriend knows.. i read her away message n she sounded lyk she was goin thro sum..i shud be happy but im not=( i wanted to aim her n talk to her..but i aint THAT friendly. lol ..anyway a few more days till my birthday on the 2nd..im still not sure wat i wanna do yet..prob stuff my face..i jus wanna find out wat im having already i think thatll b the best gift..anywho i cud update more but it wudnt be anything important jus the contents of the pass few days..besides the tub is callin me and im busyin messagin ash-wizzle lol ..so untill next time my prego family!

k-prezzy how was ur trip????

jazzy hows mr.handsome? =)

i prob wont update again untill the 2nd so HAPPY NEW YEAR & BE SAFE

Jan 2nd

its a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh im so happy! i wanted a girl in the beginning but im so happy that God has blessed me with this little man! he was moving around SO much n i have sum pic but only a few good ones that ill put up ASAP...anyway todays my bday..n i gotta get dressed to go out n feed me n my little man! not sure on his name yet i like the names Keith, Mekhi, Jaden , Denzel and Derek..his dad hates them all tho so im still open to any new suggestions...anywho his dad "sounded" like he was happy..but who knows...and who cares! im happy enuff for everyone..man it was so amazin he was movin around sooooo much in there..cover his face put his hands on top of his head..trying grab his toes it was to cute..and yes u cried lol i cant wait to me him..he so BIG! .. oh yeh they moved me from 17 weeks to 19!!!!!! cus his measurements anywho all i gotta run ill update more later! smooch5s to all the bellyz!

kaprices-we can always trade! lol

sorry for all the typos i never spell check lmao & the ghetto slang..wen i text and aim i try to shorten everything so i kinda got used to typing like that

Jan 7th

hello all! not much to update about..my days have been pretty boring. not as sick as i used to be though =)..my son still has no name...his dumb dad wont think of any himself..but turns ALL mine down =(...hes finally coming home this week. and i already know hes going to try and see us. not sure thats a good idea..1) the sight of him might bring back the m/s. 2) its been almost a month since i saw him..and im not in love anymore but i do miss him=( what if..he feeds me some family lines and i fall for them?...i know what your thinking..just dont go..and maybe your right..but i have to see him cus hes coming to the next appointment. plus he wants to talk and see the u/s pics...and i mean i cant avoid him forever...can i? anyway.. i dont want to talk about him anymore..because ill either start getting sad or mad and end up texting him..which is only going to make me look crazy and weak. you would think the fact that its a BOY! he would be more involved...he's sucha an @$$h0L3!.. he talks about our son, but its like he doesnt care about him now..he acts like..hes not real yet. am i making sense? like he doesnt care about kicks and appointment..its like he doesnt see it as real now. wow i said i WASNT going to talk about him didnt i? lol sorry =( anyway i like the name zion, but im dont know his first name so i dont know how it will sound..so that prob wont get very far..anyway now that i think about it i have no updates lmao...i can just vent and i dont want to bore you with the baby daddy drama so ill update later next week after the appointment.

bad day ladys.....i snapped ..n lowered myself to bds level..i let him get to me..n i acted really unlady like...*sigh* still no movement from my little man..things got so messy im not even going to update about them

Diff day

ok so mini update...

bcuz im EXTRA sleepy..me and mekh {chubbys name} r doing great =) (i may have placenta previa) but im not concerned about it..at least not yet they say its a 98% chance it will move up on its own...other than that..hes starting to move here and there=)... the dad..has been back for awhile but nothing has happened..ive spoken to him a few times..its usually short & nothing serious.. & for those of u who dont know..hes WITH his ex gf...and i jus found out..they never even broke up.. so we were both being played the whole time anyway that whole thing was messy and really dont want to relive it in an update but point blank period..he no longer "loves" me and is now only concerned about her. thats fine, i dont need him playn both fields and draggin mekhi through our bs..so im content with this and im getting better about it more n more everyday.. anywho my next appt is feb 13th =) and some shocking news my big brother is ALSO having a baby!!!! wow right?...im happy now mekhi will have someone to play with! but then again im alittle jealous, mekhi didnt even get his chance to shine =( ..its okay cus he is always going to be #1 with mommy =D anywho like i said extra sleepy so gudnight all..

Feb 9th

Hello all!!! i know its been awhile since i last did an update. Truth is..i have nothing to update about, i mean nothing is really going on in my life. for example i woke up today around 8 ..had a bowl of apple jacks, a hot pockets and piece of my sisters hunny bun. and that was the highlight of my week! lol but! yesterday ill have you know i walked two whole malls with my preggy friend.. and we went to the GREAT little italian(sp?) place, the pizza was great..nice and cheesy and the garlic bread YUM...of course i had a serious heartburn when i got home...but it was worth it! anywho today has been pretty boring so far... i updated my myspace and this page and its storming..so i figure i may take a nice little nap.. i think my preggy friend is coming over..so well prob go half on a pack of oreos lol and doze off ...oh yeah i no longer have insurance! how great is that!! once i turned 19 they dropped me and ive been applying for medicad but i keep getting denied =( & i have an appt next week so i want to see how that goes! ...Mekhi is good he moves every now and then, he seems like a pretty lazy baby..and his 'father' still hasnt made any effort to see him.. i mean i know hes in my tummy..but i havent seen him in almost 3months last time he saw me i didnt even look pregnant.. didnt know the sex and wasnt feeling movement...so this just leads me to believe that hes trying to forget about him. i havent even talked to him n awhiiile, i sent him an aim last monday telling him to watch true life im pregnant on mtv.. n his response was MANE n then signed off so its basically like he sucked his teeth and hung up in my face lol.. what a gentlemen lol anywho... i ate sooo much now!!! last time i was around 145 at the 5th month appt..not im sure im at least 150! its funny though cus my arms n legs r still skinny i jus got the little belly thats tryna make its self known lol..no strech marks so far..that i can see. i still use cocoa butter on 'the girls' and my tummy.. C.O.S im not looking forward to v-day.. ive never really had a valentine..you know..like with the getting dressed up n a nice dress the sexy heels, roses, chocolate dinner..etc even when i did have a boyfriend we were either to young to go out on a school night, had no car or were on bad terms..it was always something.. so yeah so far the plan is to spend it w. my mom & little sister, possibly go out for seafood and a movie im not sure.. all i now is that id just die a happy girl if i got a nice box of that hersheys pot of gold! and a cute card.. *sad face, walking slowly..kicks the dirt* not going to happen..ah well.. next year ill have my little man to come home too =) i love this little fat boy so much, i can NOT wait to kiss his little face n hold him in my arms! *daydreaming* Anywho feeling alil tired so im just going to go lay down & pray theres a good movie or law n order svu about to come on..hope everyones well =)!!! kaprice & ashley i miss you too guys =( i so wish we lived in at least the same state! so we could meet up for lunch or something =( maybe one day *shrugs* well thats about it ladys hope everyones good! belly rubs to everyone!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LADIES!!!!

so far my vday sucks lol but im still happy =) ... i spent my whole afternoon updating this page and going over the blogs trying to fix typos n stuff so im drained lol , anywho i hope everyone has GREAT day and tellz me all about it 2maro! lol

feb 18th

hey all my hot mamaz!!!! im going to update later, on a comment from my phone..just wanted to stop and in say hello to everyone!!!!

March 3rd

update comin soon.........

FINALLY AN UPDATE!Sorry for the delay my fellow big bellies... I have a million excuses..but the best one is...I have nothing to talk about..lol I mean of course I could tell you all what I `ve been eating, how many time Mekhi has kicked my hand off my tummy or how Graig & I are doing as far as getting along..but I assumed itd just bore you..but what the h*ll.. Maybe your already bored so what could it hurt..right?..sooo anywho..I feel like the words worst mom..I know its super unhealthy..but I `ve been craving anything with a drive-thru :( ...and I mean don `t get me wrong..I eat apples and cherrios and have my fair share of the healthy stuff..but I only eat it when fastfood is out of my reach..not to mention pre-natal vitaminz..I haven `t taken them in quite a while now.. BUT before you pop my on the back of the head *givin kaprice her famous side eye of doom* I have been taken the flinstone vitamins which my old OB/BGYN said are not `just as good ` but close enough if you can `t stomach the nasty chalk like horse pills..speaking of the doctor..my insurance is STILL no existent.. They are so dragging there feet to get back to me..me and my mom have done everything but camp outside the d*mn children & families department..there `s always something that leaves us denied. So when did the whole process over again! And just in case the decided to put me on the back burner, I went down to the health department and got an appt there which is the 20th..I mean I haven `t checked on my little guy in almost 2months! My last dr appt was in January around the 17th I believe... but I did go to the hospital mid feb for spotting..(which it really wasn `t bad..I wiped and saw a bit of blood the size of ant..but dammit when it comes to my little chubby I `m not taking ANY risks!) And he was fine then..touching his toes and he was head down that day too..I doubt he still like that though..but anywho he kicks the crap out of me! And I LOVE IT! Even if it wakes me up from a dream of denzel washington (YES I said denzel, and yes I know he `s pushin 50 but the man has an irresitiable (sp?) swag! And I don `t want to babydance with him or anything..I just think he `s like THEE perfect man..talk dark handsome killer smile, strong smart and I mean come on tell me john q didn `t make you want to be like d*mn...I need a man like that!) speaking of BABYDANCE! Haven `t done the wild thing..prob since little Mekhi was conceived.. & surprisingly i don `t want too..I just feel totally off-limits! Like..*hilibille accent* Sorry..fellaz fraid this here ride out of comission *pattin the bump* lol I hear some women feel that its a sacred time and there bodys are `temples `..I `m not sure if that `s how I feel..or not but I know one things for sure.. I refuse to even go on a date with a man I know isn `t a actual MAN ..(meaning-> if he `s in it to `hit it and quit it ` or just for those `lonely nights ` or even better if he has a gf or `baby momma ` I find them so unattractive..dogs turn me off in the worst way). And honestly there `s not one man I know in my life right now (that `s trying to get my attention) that doesn `t fall under one of those labels.. So ehhh ill PASS...I rather have a few more lonely month (Plz God not years!) then settle for just anybody..& don `t kill me those of you who know bkground but the thought of BDING with anyone other than Mekhis dad seems wrong as well.. And trust me when I say I do NOT love him..what so ever..hardly have love for him after what he `s put me through..so I don `t know why sex doesn `t seem wrong with him..it could be because that was 1 out the 2 serious relationships I `ve ever had..(the 1st one I was 14-17 `first love `)..who knows.. Btw I get side tracked really easily so that `s why the updates keep jumping from topic to topic so bare with me.. But let me finish up on Graig..where on ok terms..been a few weeks since we fought.. Hope it stays this way..I try to keep any conversation short & sweet, and he has a girlfriend..not sure if its the same derranged (sp?) chick that just found out about me..or if its a new one..hard to tell..bcus his aways (the AIM message thingys) are always on some `I miss you so much, it hurts ` or `you never know what you have untill its gone ` (& I know they aren `t about me) and then the rare occasions when she signs on..she has a picture of them on her aim icon. So its like hmm?? Well wtf...so idk (I don `t know).. I `ve come to the conclusion that my child father is a slut. And ima dummy. Because I had a million signs! From the groupies holding him just a little to tight after his games, the texting and 2am phone calls.. And to that d*mn pink sock I found when I was doing his laundry..(which I did not wash by the way!, and of course I checked his az when he came in from class but he said oh baby that `s my sock *eye roll* I kept an attitude for all of ten minutes then brushed it off..=my bad) I guess I didn `t love myself enough back then to realize I deserve better. And was to stuck on the `goodtimes ` to let him go. Beside I thought I had pretty good catch.. I mean I was walking with `G.Coop ` he was spending all his little football checks on me going out to eat 4 times a week..seeing every movie the day it came out (even if it was a chick flick he went..may have fallen asleep..but hey he went)..beach dates(may have been scared to get more than his ankles wet..but! Still went).., he was attractive (or at least to me..ash thinks he looks like a chocolate sea monkey lol) and when he wanted to be..he was really sweet and could make me laff. So I guess my fantasy of being the captain of the footballs team girlfriend swallowed the bit of sense I had.. So I can `t put all the blame on him..did he do me wrong yes!...did I let him...yes. so instead of mopping, crying..cursin him out n flatting his tires like I really want to do, I `m just going to learn from it.. And make sure it doesn `t happen again. *thinking hard to remember how I even got on this subject* ah well..point is..we occasionally have a little convo.. And right now he `s back in memphis for spring break..hunching hoodrats and spending Mekhi diaper money In the club `makin it rain ` lol. Which is fine by me..bcuz my baby has 2 of everything he needs already.. Thanks to me & my family.. And my baby shower isn `t untill the 5th of april..so basically if my little prince decided to slide on out right now..he `d be set..have enough diapers to last us at least 2 months.. clothes out of the wah-zoo & enough baby essentials to last till xmas..so daddy dearest can keep making it rain and popping bottles in the club. And I `ve been keeping every recipt (sp?) so if the day comes that I decided to bring the govt. Into it..ill have more than enough proof that I have been the only provider since day 1. Anyway off of him..I talk about him to much ill get mad n might write him something mean and be back at each others throats again. As for my prince his offical name is Mekhi [Muh-ki] (means Gods messenger aka Angel) Jaden [J-din] (God has heard) Garcia/Cooper. And I love him! He `s my #1 man.. He is so cute already..if I go a few hours without talkin to him or rubbin my belly..he has a fit and gives me combo of kicks like heeeyy mommy:( did u forget about me! And after I rub him he cools down and gives soft playful kicks..like `muuuch better ` lol I can `t wait to see him! I `m so curious to see what he looks like .. What skin tone will he have..who `s eyes etc.. I can not wait! I `m trying to prepare myself for labor..expecting the complete worst pain imaginable.. And also picturing myself being alone with a horrid ugly perv for a doctor..(which are my fears) so that whatever happens in real liufe will be a step up no matter what lol ok so this update was going to be even longer but my sidekick is tripping..and I `m typing and the words are popping up like ten years later..so I `m annoyed..so untill next time my friends:)

Sunday, 16 Mar

Tuesday, 18 Mar

Its midnight and I Just downloaded some baby einstein lullabies! Hehehe Mekhi `s in there waving his little hands and feet to mozart :-D ill update more later today

Tuesday, 25 Mar

hey there ladies, quick update..using my phone and don `t have much battery.. But I `m very bored..so anyway finally got my insurance together and I have a new doctor which I love :] *thanks Arriel and I get to have The little prince at this really nice [new] hospital. Anywho 2maro I go to FINALLY take my glucose test! I `m 31 weeks and JUST NOW taking it. Oh well better late than never right.. Anywho they gave me this little bottle of the `fruit punch ` liquid and I `m suppose to drink it on the way there(30minz before my apt)..which I think is so neat instead of having you drink it when you get there and then sit and wait another hr..anywho..anyone ever had the fruit punch kind? Yay or nay? Oh yeah and the last mini check up I had they said there was a little sugar in my urine:( I `m really hoping I don `t have the G.D I was told not to eat anything sweet 2maro..which isn `t horrible but my dum butt scheduled the appt for 2:30 not thinking..so that means pretty much bread and water for breakfest & lunch lol ..anywho [I say that alot] thats about it. Graig is still a loser. Doesn `t ask about the baby or even check up on things at all. Its okay though..just watch `tyler perrys diary of a mad black woman ` & sheesh if that don `t give ya strength:) that! And color purple keep my head up lol ...other than that nothing new..been having some pretty good days. Easter wasn `t all that. But I `m over all pretty happy. My baby showers the 5th and I can `t wait for that! And on the 4th I get to see my little one again..:) not to mention get my hair,nails,toes and eyebrows done and get a new pretty dress for the shower:-D so I `m def lookin forward to next week:) anywho hope all is well with every1..ill update more prob 2maro after the doctors

THE BABY SHOWER:

was really nice, i got lots of doubles of things but it there were maily things that i could in 2's..like car seat etc..anywho it was really fun, didnt so to many games .. bcuz openin presents took half the shower lol, umm wat else it was realllly hot..there was a pool ryt in front of me that i keep puttin my little fat feet in lol if i had brought my 2piece i would have SOOOO been in!! lol uhhh wat else can i tell ya?? idk it was over all just a really nice day..sorry so short if i would have updated sooner i probably would have remembered more details but az of now

9months!!!!!!!!!!!! and HUGE! hehehe

May 5th

guna do a mini update...37weeks!!! preggy ;) full term baby!! yes..hehe anywho this site sucks the second i learned how to do updates on my phone..they switch stuff up! *mad face* anywho i have an appt this friday to see if im effaced and all that so ill prob update again..i could update more but im hungry lmao gunna go make waffles!

May 9th...

HAD THE ALMIGHTY INTERNAL EXAM!!!!! & it didnt hurt at ALL! everyone had me feeling like i was gunna get raped by chubby little fingers lol but it went pretty quickly ..anywho im not dialated or effaced at all :( hes never coming out..cant say i blame him..hes living it up in there lmao

Me @ 2 ...

MAY 16TH

soo i had another dr appt..and still NOTHING!!!! he's never coming out:'( ...cant say i blame him..but dammit im ready to hold him and kiss his little nose :'(

Friday May 23rd

BIG update ladies =]

are you ready for this..Mekhi weighs 8POUNDS!!!! that might not seem like much ..but for me thats HUGE! anywho i have to hurry up and do this update my sis needs the computer for a project..but umm basically hes healthy jus big and my fluid was alittle low, so the want to induce me on monday =) !!!! i have to go bak to the hospital on sunday for another NST and U/S to see if my fluid has gone up (they told me.."bedrest" just cool it rest up for L&D and drink LOTS of water) so thats the game plan.. then on monday (anywhere from 6am-midnight) there going to call me when a room is available..and then there going to give me some kind of insert, that makes me dilate..and hopefully either monday or tuesday morning ill be a mommy =)

oh and Graig came to the visit too..he seems like hes coming around, and i hope he does.

June 9th

hey ladies! thanks so much for all the comments, im going to get back to you all as soon as i can..just a little busy..(burping mj as i type lol) & the birth storys on the way too..nothing major a few ups & downs like always & as for graig hes been coming around to see him alot & hes a "good" father so far..anywho i promise ill update more wen i get the chance love u guys!