January 2, 2008
Celebrating the New Year this year was a little different for me. Usually I would be out with my friends back home in Seattle partying hard and waiting to ring in the New Year. This year I stayed home with my husband. I made a huge pot of my mom’s good luck black eyed peas, rice, and corn bread. It was fun for me to do. And to my surprise Tom actually liked it all.
Even though we were able to relax there was still something lingering in the back of my mind.
In September Tom and I went to the doctor for the results for out triple screen results. My Alpha Feta Protein levels came back pretty high, and we were sent to a specialist. I freaked out, and Tom being the loving husband that he is sat me down to make sure that I completely understood everything. He knows me, and knows that I pretty much stopped listening to our doctor after she said Spina Bifida.
What a nightmare.
We went to the specialist two days later and I had an Amniocenthesis done. (this was very uncomfortable) They also did and ultra sound in order to check all of Malachi’s organs. Everything looked good. We got our lab results back. The doctor said that everything looked fine, and that they really didn’t know why our levels were so high.
In my heart of hearts I feel Malachi is just fine, but there is still this little part of me that wonders… I’ve spent a lot of time praying and meditating. At this point all I can do is give it up to God and let it go.
Tom and I will start going the first of our weekly appointments tomorrow. They told us that from here on out all of our appointments will be set for early morning. Our doctor says that she wants to monitor Malachi’s movements, and also make sure that he is developing correctly. I know that all of this is routine, but it makes my heart hurt. I have been trying not to stress out too badly; I don’t want to pass my stress on to Malachi. He doesn’t deserve it.
Looking back on this entire pregnancy I know that my child is truly blessed, and I have been blessed with his presence. I remember a doctor telling me 30 weeks ago that Malachi wasn’t going to survive. They said that his heart beat was too weak. To everyone’s surprise his heart beat more than doubled within a week after that.
I think maybe I am just driving myself crazy stressing out about all of this. To be honest this is the first time that I have shared our experience with anyone outside of our family. It feels good to share it and get it all off of my chest.
I hope that all of you beautiful mommies out there have a safe and healthy pregnancy. Good luck and Happy New Year. I hope this year brings you many blessings, good health, and a speedy delivery. Take care.
January 7, 2008 I went to the doctor on Thursday. That was the last of my 2 week checkups. Since our triple test results came back with such high levels Malachi has to be monitored every week first thing in the morning. That’s never any fun for me. Getting my big body out of bed early in the morning is so hard. My hips are killing me and so is my back. I just keep tell myself that he's worth it because he is. Well our doctor told us that everything looks and sounds good. But she kept asking me if I've had any contractions. I told her no. (I don't think that I have...had I?) She said that I was 2 cm dilated, and that he could be here at any moment. She also told us that if Malachi does not arrive by the 27th she will induce me because my fluids are getting low. Ever since Thursday I have been stressing myself out. Hoping that every little pain that I feel is a contraction. I want him to arrive on his own darn schedule. I want everything to be as natural as possible. So I figured that I would try and help move things along. I've been walking about 2-3 miles a day. I told my friend Andy my plan and he responded, "Good lord kid what are you doing? Are you trying to shake that baby out or what?" Men just don't get it. We finally got the nursery finished the other day. I was really happy about that. I love sitting in my rocking chair and feeling my little guy kick. He's got a lot of spunk. My mom keeps calling me. Every time I pick up I hear, "Is there a baby in the house?" It's the cutest thing in the world. She's so excited. It'll be nice to have her around when he gets here. After all he is the first grandson. Actually he's the first grandchild on either side. So you could imagine all of the anticipation. Well ladies I hope that you are all having a good day. Hopefully everyone is able to rest and relax a bit. Wish us luck.
